Rofl I never could get firestones D8

 

So, the Fast Ship S.S. Aqua was apparently lost at sea with the new Champion of Johto and a bunch of other people nobody cares about on board.

In other words, my DS is fuxed. The charger, the battery, the connection between the two or any combination thereof is screwed. I always play with the DS plugged into the wall so I never noticed that something was broken until the red light of doom came on. So this run is on hiatus until I either figure out what's busted and fix it or just get a new DS.

 

Journal Entry #1

Pearl dragged me out on another "adventure" today. This time to Lake Verity in search of a rare pokemon like the red Gyrados that was on TV this morning. I did my best to warn him off it, but he didn't listen. He never does.

An old man and a girl were already there when we arrived. The man looked familiar, though I couldn't place his name. They left quickly enough, leaving us to explore. Pearl found they'd forgotten a briefcase containing three pokeballs just in time for an entire flock of Starly to descend upon us. These were nothing like the ones so commonly found in Twinleaf- they were feral, and they were hunting. Us.

The pokeballs were labelled. Pearl chose the Chimchar, of course. He's always said that fire starters were the best. I chose the Turtwig. It was nothing special, but I remembered it.

It had... potential. I named it Mark.

Journal Entry #2

The old man turned out to be the pokemon professor from one town over, Rowan. The girl, Dawn, was his assistant. They came back to the lake soon after Pearl and I had driven off the flock of Starly, and after an intense discussion agreed to let us keep our respective pokemon. When he saw my choice, though, he gave me the strangest look...

Later, while having a discussion with my mother, Pearl's mother came barging in babbling about her son leaving before she could give him something or another. I was promptly conscripted into delivering the parcel to him, and grudgingly set off towards Jubilife. While passing through the town the professor lived in, his assistant flagged me down.

She took me to Rowan, who apparently had a mission for me. He gave me a pokedex, asked me to help him in his quest of gathering knowledge, and when I finally nodded in bewilderment, he asked me to give Pearl his regards.

Journal Entry #3

I found Pearl in a schoolhouse in Jubilife, poring over a bulky tome. When he saw me enter he promptly shoved the thing off the table, muttering about school systems and their lack of useful material. I gave him the parcel, which turned out to contain two maps of Sinnoh. My "rival" glanced longingly at the trash can in one corner of the room, but reluctantly handed me the extra nonetheless. Then he rushed out, shouting something about a gym battle.

I took my time, admiring the sights of Jubilife, participating in a small contest and winning myself a nifty poketech, and catching a Zubat which I named Aco. It died a few minutes after I caught it. Tragic.

Finally, I trekked down the eastern path towards Oreburgh as dusk began to fall. Pearl was waiting impatiently for me there, funnily enough. He challenged me to a pokemon battle, his two pokemon against Mark.

I won.

Journal Entry #4

I beat Roark. I honestly had more trouble finding him than actually defeating his Cranidos. Didn't find any suitable additions for my team. Ah well. Mark is more than enough for now.

Journal Entry #5

While doubling back through Jubilife on my way to Eterna, I found Rowan and Dawn being harassed by two self-proclaimed members of some organization called "Team Galactic". I joined in in helping Dawn deal with them. Afterwards, Mark evolved.

I've heard of evolution, of course. It's one of the first things that's covered in any book on pokemon ever. I've never actually seen it before. I never knew it would be so sudden, or so jarring. One moment Mark was standing at about shin height, and the next he was staring me in the face, eye level. With the bushes on his shell, he was actually taller than me.

I parted ways with Dawn and Rowan soon after that, but not before catching the intense look the pokemon professor was levelling at my newly evolved starter.

Journal Entry #6

Mark and I took down some more members of this Team Galactic near Floarama, including one of their higher ranking members, a woman named Mars. None of them stood a chance against Mark, and I rescued the scientist they'd captured easily enough. What an annoyance. After that I recovered a fossil in the underground and made a quick run back to Oreburgh to have it revived into a Cranidos, which I promptly put in the box for a rainy day.

I defeated Eterna's gym with little fanfare. There was hardly anything spectacular about any of the battles. Mark just wore them away until there was nothing left but a defeated batch of trainers and a badge for me to take. Soon after I finally found another member for my team, a Meditite that I named Warrior Goddess, or WarriorGDS for identification purposes.

I used her to take down another group of Team Galactic members, and another leader, named Jupiter. This organization has begun to worry me.

Journal Entry #7

Warrior Goddess' training is coming along nicely, and I've caught another member for our team- a Ponyta that I decided to name Scatter. I passed through Hearthome, in search of another gym battle, but according to the leader I wasn't ready. Pearl challenged me to another battle on my way out, and I defeated him handily yet again.

I spent the trip to Solaceon training Warrior Goddess and Scatter. Mark is still far ahead of them, so he's taken a backseat for the most part. I headed north from Solaceon, hoping to stop by Celestic, but find a group of Psyduck blocking the path. I considered clearing them out with Mark, but decided there were too many of them for it to be worth the effort. I'd visit later.

Onward to Veilstone then. My third gym badge awaits.

Journal Entry #8

They killed Warrior Goddess. They killed Scatter too. They killed them. A Machop and a Gyrados. I... I couldn't control myself. I was so angry...

Mark tore the Machop apart, and Mega Drain'd the Gyrados until it was little more than a withered husk of bleached blue scales. The trainers ranted and raved at me while I did it, but I beat the first one into submission, and the second one didn't have the guts to attack me.

I'm so angry. I can hardly write this. I can't...

How am I going to defeat Meylene?

Journl Entry #9

I was right. I was right about Mark. Gods, I was right.

We started the gym challenge slowly, working our way through the trainers one at a time with plenty of breaks in between. It looked as if it was going to be the most difficult gym yet. It was on our third battle that it happened. My opponent's Machoke nearly killed Mark while he was charging a SolarBeam.

The SolarBeam struck, the Machoke went down, and Mark glowed.

It was his second evolution. The surrounding gym trainers and I all watched, astonished, as Mark grew, and grew, and continued to grow. Three massive spikes ripped their way out of his shell, jutting up into the sky. And before our eyes, a tree, an actual, life-sized, honest to god tree sprouted up to join the spikes. The glow faded. And when it left, it revealed a monster.

Or perhaps it was a god.

Mark, who had been a large pokemon in his own right before, absolutely towered now. His tree brushed the roof of the lofty gym in its swaying, and his head was held far above the dizzying array of puzzles that challengers were meant to get through to reach the leader. I simply pointed towards the back of the warehouse, and he lumbered forward, crushing them all under his enormous feet.

I stared mutely at the massive print left in the concrete floor for a moment, identical to the one the Jubilife TV exploration crew had found deep in forests of the Battle Frontier. Then I followed him to Meylene.

She had already released all of her pokemon when I got there, abandoning all pretenses. When she saw me strolling along behind the behemoth my starter had become, she shouted desperately at me, telling me to return my pokemon. I asked her if she'd give me the badge. She hastily tried to explain something about a classification of pokemon banned from league usage that my pokemon apparently fell under. She told me that she'd help me find a replacement herself, but that I'd have to turn Mark in to the Elite Four and the Champion first.

I considered this, and for a tense minute the warehouse was silent save for the thundrous breathing of my starter. Abandon Mark, my first and final pokemon of an otherwise dead trio, find a new pokemon, and proceed on my perfectly legal circuit of the gyms. Or...

I flicked my head towards Meylene's three pokemon, and barked an order. The fighting gym leader screamed a panicked order of her own and her Lucario surged forward, but by then it was already too late. Mark raised a single, massive leg, casting a shadow over all of us, and a moment later brought it down in the same spot with titanic force.

Earthquake.

When the dust settled I walked past Meylene's wide-eyed form and grabbed a badge off the dais. Then I returned my starter, his massive bulk condensing down into bright red energy and retreating to his pokeball. I left the gym, and its shell-shocked inhabitants, and a few minutes later I left Veiltstone too. It was time to head to Pastoria.

Three down. Five to go.

Journal Entry #9

I almost lost Mark today.

The day had been nothing special. I'd wasted no time heading over to Pastoria. There were no detours to make, no pokemon to look for. I didn't want any, really. The memory of my last two was still far too sharp in my mind. I emerged into the home of the Giant Marsh sometime around midday, and headed straight for the gym.

I didn't bother fighting any of the trainers. A couple of them tried insisting on a battle, but that stopped quickly enough after I shoved that sailor into the water. Crasher Wake had his arms crossed in stark disapproval when I made it to him, but he accepted my challenge nonetheless. I released Mark, and politely informed him that yes, I realized I wasn't supposed to be using him, and no, I wasn't going to hand him over. I offered to let him try all of his pokemon against Mark at once.

After the shock wore off, a massive grin stole across Wake's face, and he threw out his first pokemon, a Gyrados, roaring a challenge all the while. I'm not afraid to say that I lost control of myself for a moment at the sight of the pokemon that had killed Scatter, but Wake managed to recall it before Mark did any lasting damage. Then he sent out a hulking beast that immediately dove into the water, almost before I could get a solid glimpse of it. A Floatzel. Not a problem.

I made to order Mark to use an Earthquake, but suddenly the Floatzel came shooting out of the water behind us, soaring above me and landing on his neck. Pale blue/white light shone from its mouth, and it flashed forward, sinking its teeth into my starter's neck.

Immediately, my pokemon threw his head back and roared a roar that shook the gym warehouse down to its foundations. The Floatzel hopped off him and disappeared once more into the water, and Mark fell to the floor with a mighty crash, nearly crushing me underneath him. I scurried around to the side of him, peering up at his neck, and found it had been covered in ice, and was steadily weeping blood. I hurriedly recalled him and sent out the Bidoof I'd been using to clear rocks and trees from my path. It died immediately at the hands of another Ice Fang.

I tried sending out the Roserade that I'd never quite remembered to box. The Floatzel came shooting out of the water once more, its shining white maw opened wide, but this time it missed. My Roserade took full advantage of this, peppering it with Stun Spore.

I healed up Mark as best I good while the Roserade held off the paralyzed water pokemon. A minute later the Roserade finally fell, but it was enough. Mark appeared on the platform once more with a bellow. The Floatzel tried lunging for the water, but my Roserade had thoroughly handicapped its speed, and Mark brought down his massive paw, and suddenly Crasher Wake only had a Quagsire left.

Four badges down. Four to go.

Journal Entry #10

I had another run in with Team Galactic. Just one member this time, but he was carrying an explosive of some sort. He mentioned a lake. I chased him from Pastoria to Lake Varity, and finally he tried overpowering me. With a Glameow.

While Mark was busy wiping its remains off of his foot, I calmly asked the man just what in the hell he thought he was doing. He ran for it then, disappearing into the forest, and I didn't have the energy to go on what would most likely be yet another wild goose chase. I decided to continue on north and stop in at Veilstone. It had been months since I'd talked to my mother, and it should be easy enough to escape Meylene's notice as long as I didn't release mark anywhere near her gym.

I was intercepted along the way by the woman who had given me the Hidden Machine for Cut back in Eterna. Cynthia. As it turned out, she was no ordinary trainer. She was the Champion, capital C, and she wanted to know about my illegally kept pokemon. As I hadn't returned Mark to his pokeball yet, I didn't exactly have any way to play her concerns off.

I considered hopping on Mark's back and simply going through her, but then I remembered that the Champion had a Garchomp. She had a Garchomp. And no matter what Mark was, that was a big opponent to fight. So I opted to try and reason with her.

It actually wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. She didn't seem like she wanted to get in a fight. It was almost as if she wanted to side with me. When I had Mark bow his head down so that I could climb atop it, she was convinced that I had a solid grip on him. That didn't mean she let me off the hook though, oh no. She spent an absolutely dreadful amount of time lecturing me on how to handle a top-class pokemon, when and where to release it and when and where not to, etc. etc. etc. It wasn't until Mark started snoring that she gave me a potion to clear out the Psyduck blocking the path to Celestic and shooed me off.

Journal Entry #11

I caught another pokemon for my team today. It was another Ponyta. I named her Ko. She gets along with Mark surprisingly well, despite the size difference between them.

I'm... happy that I have one of my pokemon back, even if it's not technically so. It almost makes it easier to think about Scatter. I find myself hoping to find another Meditite somewhere along my travels. It's nice.

~-~-~-~

Team
Mark the Torterra
Ko the Ponyta
Kricketune the Kricketune (HM01)

Waiting
Magikarp the Magikarp
Psyduck the PsyduckShinx the Shinx
Cranidos the Cranidos
Geodude the Geodude

Fallen
WarriorGDS the Meditite
Scatter the Ponyta
Aco the Zubat
Bidoof the Bidoof
Roselia the Roselia

 

fuck lance and his aerodactyle. wiping out my lineup with ancient power for 3 day in a row.

 

Ah, so much has changed.

As soon as dusk arrived, I went to Lost Tower to get something interesting. To my surprise, Murkrow was my first encounter. I was wary of making it faint, so I had Ponyta lower its health with Ember, praying to nothing in particular that it wouldn’t burn. It didn’t. I started chucking balls at it and then I continued chucking balls at it because this damn Murkrow didn’t want to be caught. Meanwhile, my Pokemon were not taking the situation well. I was out of healing items, and Lutris and MattSilver were in yellow. Murkrow knew Pursuit so I had to be careful with switching. I went into LT2000 to take a couple of hits while trying to capture this damn thing, but a crit Wing Attack killed him.

I caught the Murkrow with my last ball, and I named him Lucky. His ability, coincidently, is Super Luck (which increases the chances of a crit).

I got to Veilstone in one piece, and spent the next hour training my Murkrow with EXP Share. Then, once everyone was at level 27, I challenged the Veilstone gym.

Cue three-fourths of my team dying.

The trainers weren’t difficult. Lucky the Murkrow and Lungs the Chingling did all the work while Lutris the Prinplup and MattSilver the Luxio sat back and played cards. However, Maylene was a different matter. Lungs took out Meditite after having a Growl / Meditate showdown that went on for seven turns. Lucky took out Machoke with a Wing Attack after losing half his health.

Then, Maylene sent out Lucario.

I sent out Lutris to start things off, confident that I could use MattSilver as backup. This is how the first turn proceeded:

Gym Leader Maylene sends in Lucario!
PKMN Trainer Vira switches out Lucky the Murkrow and sends in Lutris the Prinplup!
Lutris uses Bubblebeam! It does fuck all!
Lucario uses Force Palm! Lutris loses over half its health!
PKMN Trainer Vira is D8-ing!

I wasn’t prepared for this Lucario. I looked at my team and realized I couldn’t sent out MattSilver without him dying in two hits. Lungs and Lucky were both at half health, and neither would be fast enough to take on the Lucario.

It was up to MattSilver and for MattSilver to do his duty, I had only one choice.

With regret in my heart, I let Lutris the Prinplup die.

I immediately sent out MattSilver to Spark this bastard into oblivion. Spark didn’t do as much as I hoped, and Lucario’s resulting attack left him with just under half-health. Healing him would just delay the inevitable. I was already numb with my most recent Pokemon death, and I didn’t feel anything as I sent MattSilver to Spark one last time, and die.

The last attack was not in vain. Lucario was paralyzed and stuck at half-health. However, I had two Pokemon left and neither could one-shot this Lucario. So, I figured: if one of my Pokemon was going to die, who did I want to live on?

I didn’t have to think about it. I sent out Lungs the Chingling, who’s Confusion did fuck all, and was promptly killed.

Ah well, that was good enough.

Lucky the Murkrow won the day with a Wing Attack, and I got my badge.

Afterwards, I buried Lutris and MattSilver on Route 14, where their graves should stand undisturbed until the end of time. Chinglings don’t have souls so Lungs was turned into a keychain and sold to a passing schoolgirl for 200 Pokedollars.

Thus ends the tale of the Veilstone Massacre.

Team:
Lucky (Murkrow, Level 28 ).

Box:
Klael (Zubat, Level 14).
Cheddar (Shellos, Level 8 ).

Rest In Peace:
Calz (Starly, Level 15).
Ollie (Machop, Level 5).
Drome (Budew, Level 10).
Ashaya (Meditite, Level 19).
LT2000 (Ponyta, Level 22).
Lutris (Prinplup, Level 27).
MattSilver (Luxio, Level 27).
Lungs (Chingling, Level 27).

(I’m actually in Celestic Town right now, but this post was getting long, so I’ll post part two later. In hindsight, I could have probably won against Maylene without Chingling dying, but I didn't want to lose my Murkrow).

 

I'm a bamf, anyways my nuzlocke started yesterday. Chose Cyndaquil as my starter and named him Gilgamesh, I recently re watched fate zero ;p After running some errands for Elm, Prof Oak creeping on me/giving me a Pokedex, my journey to topple Red finally begins. I see some thieving Ginger and promptly smack him for his arrogance. Lyra "teaches" me how to catch pokemon, and gives me some pokeballs. I then catch Zoe the Hoothoot.

After running into a bunch of useless pokemon on the way to Falkner, I get a stroke of luck and catch a Mareep. Welcome to the team Menace :awesome I galavant around Sprout Tower at night and run into a Ghastly, hello Blaise. Afterwards Gilgamesh and Zoe peck/burn to victory in Sprout Tower. Menace tanks Falker bitch ass lvl 13 Pidgeotto with ease. I am now heading to burn some bugs/peck their eyes out. I'M COMING FOR YOU BUGSY~

Team
Menace the Mareep lvl 12
Gilgamesh the Cyndaquil lvl 11
Zoe the Hoothoot lvl 11

Box
Blaise the Ghastly

 

Part two, ahoy!

I spent a bit more time in Veilstone because my idiot rival Lucas got his Pokedex stolen. Lucky the Mukrow surprisingly didn’t die in the resulting double battle, and I picked up HM Fly for my troubles.

Since I needed another Pokemon and I didn’t trust the routes to give me anything good, Cheddar the Shellos was taken out from the box. I slapped the EXP Share on her, and started my trek to Pastoria, which consisted of avoiding all trainers. The only Pokemon I found on the way was a Bibarel (thanks, route) which I didn’t bother catching. I may be desperate for Pokemon right now, but not that desperate.

As soon as I got to the Pokemon Center in Pastoria, I flew to Floaroma because it’s Friday, and there was my Drifloon, being adorable. I caught it and named her Anya. In Pastoria, I went into the Safari Zone, and caught a Wooper, which I named Sree, since that’s the perfect name for it. Cue a bit of backtracking as Lucky murdered all the trainers I missed while Cheddar gained experience points.

The routes west of Pastoria weren’t safe from my vision and I decimated them too. The Pokemon I found there was a Roselia, a male, nicknamed Palin. I won’t fail him as I did with his fallen sister. I also fished with the Good Rod in Pastoria and found a female Magikarp. Her name is Sorrows, because she is a Magikarp.

Before hitting the gym, I gave Anya the TM Shock Wave, for extra insurance. The water trainers were only morsels for Palin and Cheddar, while Anya took on the Wingulls from afar. Sree hung back a bit, but before the battle, he evolved into Quagsire. Quagsire’s sprite looks stupid in forth gen.

Then, the gym leader. I won’t go into it too much as the only Pokemon I lost was Sree, who I used as switch-fodder. Everyone else survived.

The road to Celestic was dumb. I hate fog. My attacks kept missing and who’s bright idea was it to put a trainer with a Golbat on that route. I must have spent ten minutes in that battle because of fucking Confuse Ray. Also, fuck that one Dustox too. It couldn’t do anything to my Murkrow, but it kept using Hypnosis and Protect, and my fucking Wing Attacks kept missing. After that battle Murkrow learned Faint Attack, and I must have cried in relief.

Suddenly, Celestic Town!

Fuck plot shenanigans, I got other shit to do.

In the route west of Celestic, I found another Ponyta, which was female. It was named LT2000 F, and she will bring great honor to her team.

Anyways, that’s all for now. I’m going to train a bit before continuing on with the plot.

Team:
Lucky (Murkrow, Level 35).
Cheddar (Shellos, Level 27).
Anya (Drifloon, Level 23).
Palin (Roselia, Level 25).
LT2000 F (Ponyta, Level 26).

Box:
Klael (Zubat, Level 14).
Sorrows (Magikarp, Level 22).

Rest In Peace:
Calz (Starly, Level 15).
Ollie (Machop, Level 5).
Drome (Budew, Level 10).
Ashaya (Meditite, Level 19).
LT2000 (Ponyta, Level 22).
Lutris (Prinplup, Level 27).
MattSilver (Luxio, Level 27).
Lungs (Chingling, Level 27).
Sree (Quagsire, Level 22).

 

LOL, next time don't forget to grab the Defog HM. Also, I shudder to imagine what a female version of myself might look like but I'm sure it would be a whole lot uglier than a Ponyta.

Also, since it appears I might be sans DS for awhile yet but I still want to do a run, I'm going to let the crowd pick for me. It will be some old-school shit from among the following:

Red/Blue
Yellow
Gold/Silver
Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald
Emerald Randomizer
Fire Red/Leaf Green

CHOOSE YOU...MY DESTINY!

 

Leaf Green. Also, bitches and hoes start Charmander, Bulbasaur is where it's at. Venasaur is beefy as fuck for a starter, I think he's only beaten out by Torterra in overall walling capability? For starters, of course.

 

Red/Blue, go hardcore. You've already recently done a Johto run, so that's out, and Hoenn is easy as fuck. Yellow babies you by giving you all the starters, and whenever you have to choose between old school and new school, choose old school. So, Red/Blue for great victory.

 

Oh, if I did/do Yellow all the Kanto starters would be boxed. Fuck that easymode shit. I'm considering making it a general rule of my Nuzlocke runs henceforth that ye only use what ye catch. AKA, Gift Pokemon are teh banned. I always seem to end up with half my team being shit that gets given to me guaranteed, which runs against the spirit of the challenge imo.

 

Go with yellow, box all R/B starters, only caught pokemon, no legendaries.

Hmm, sincerely tempted to start this up again...

EDIT: actually, forget that. Did a bit of work with my old Yellow cart, and I realized it really becomes problematic that there isn't an EXP bar available on the combat screen.

So whatever, FireRed, with the VS Seeker, the best grinding tool ever. Started with a Charmander who I affectionately named Mattsilver, because he's going to burn shit. And, of course, I named the Rival Pissant. And like the cheap little fuck he is, he picks up a Squirtle. Fortunately, he's a shitty dueller and the warty little turtle goes down in a haze of blood-smeared claws.

So after running some stupid errand to snag a Pokedex, I stepped into the grass and immediately a vicious little rodent leapt out, confident in his own ability to kick my ass. A delusion of grandeur, it appeared, as Mattsilver brought him low and Torak the Rattata joined my party.

So after a quick venture through Viridian City and a stride onto Route 2, I encountered a second Rattata upon the route. A female. Yet Torak slew her with a casual elegance belied only by the double critical hits that brought upon her downfall.

More later.

 

I went through Union Cave and it was annoying since I have nothing to deal with rock types ;/ Thankfully I didn't sustain any losses but I of course encounter a Zubat. I planned on catching it but the cunt used Supersonic and did some damage so I rage killed it. Alas I run into another Zubat while I am slapping around Team Rocket in Slowpoke Well. Anya is to be boxed as I kind of like Zoe, so we move on.

I planned on grinding in Ilex Forest but I forgot about the Rival battle D8 Zoe was sacrificed and I carry on. Bugsy goes down like a bitch as I expected, so now I'm off to Goldenrod wish me luck. Hopefully I can catch a Nidoran to make up for Zoe </3

Team
Gilgamesh the Quilava - 18
Menace the Flaaffy - 18

Box
Blaise the Ghastly
Anya the Zubat

Never Forget
Zoe the Hoothoot - 15

 

Have a lot of free time suddenly, I'm going to consider getting a DS and HeartGold or SoulSilver and doing a Nuzlocke on my first non emulated pokemon experience in a decade.

 

Well my emulator broke and idk wtf happend. So I am going to hop on my DS and start either a leaf green or black 2 nuzlocke.

 

So, to finish off the day, I decided to do a bit more hunting. I wandered onto Route 22 in hopes of grabbing a Mankey or male Nidoran - but again, I run into another fucking rodent. Torak rips him to shreds. Lovely.

So, with the knowledge that the coward Pissant is lurking around the corner on Route 22, I took off for the bleak hellhole that is Viridian Forest, in the hopes that my luck might lead to a Pikachu. No such luck, I'm afraid, and Irene the Caterpie joins the party. Well, better than nothing. Fortunately, Irene grows well and quickly evolves into a Butterfree who has Confusion, which gives me something to go forward with against that bastard Brock. Sure, Charmander will get Metal Claw eventually, but it's better to get ahead (on a side note, I've got one house rule - you can only visit a Pokemon Center if one of your Pokemon gains a level).

So, after a short period of grind that results in Mattsilver turning into the suave motherfucker that is Charmeleon, I head back to Route 22 and find Pissant. Torak is eager for his first bout, and eats his bird and mutant turtle with relish. And so I arrive in the general dull hole that is Pewter City. Museum seems pretty bad-ass, though, but that's not what I'm here for.

The junior trainer in front of Brock falls to Mattsilver's claws fairly quickly - the Sandshrew uses Sand-Attack way too goddamn much, but my lizard has that mutant armadillo dancing on hot coals before fainting. And then comes Brock, his nonexistant eyes stony as he sends out his twisted ugly motherfuckers. Fortunately, Mattsilver is more than ready for the challenge, and Metal Claws crush his Geodude into dust.

And then comes Onix, which, since this is Fire Red, has Rock Tomb. Mattsilver takes several attempted oubliettes to the snout, but remains standing, locked into combat thanks to an early Bind. But claws of steel prevail, and the great rocky serpent goes down. Brock nods and hands me the badge and the TM with the move that nearly proved my downfall. I restrain my urge to have Mattsilver set the gym on fire, but I choose to leave the city, praying that better luck in the wilds of Mt. Moon might give me better monsters to capture.

 

Found a shiny Gastly and it died a day later in my nuzlocke.

Wah wah wah.

 

I think a Shiny is worthy of at least a one-time mulligan revival. But at least keep it so you can trade it to another game or something down the road.

 

Really really late but I don't think grinding on Ponytas is ever appropriate.

 

Adopted Silens' suggestion and chose Pokemon Yellow. Rules are:

- With the exception of Pikachu, only caught Pokemon are eligible for use. Meaning that all Gift Pokemon (including the Kanto starter trio and Eevee among others), bought Pokemon (the Pokemon Center Magikarp, Game Corner selections, et cetera) and in-game trade Pokemon are all out. Interactable Pokemon that still have to be battled and caught such as Snorlax are still allowed.

- No Legendaries.

- No bending of the encounter rule for repeats. If all I find in the early game are Ratattas and Pidgeys then tough fucking luck. One exception is the Safari Zone, where due to the nature of the place, the first encounter rule is suspended in favor of being able to pick among anything found in the first Safari Game.

And starting.

Man, these old-school graphics. Literally have not played Gen I since I was a kid. It's been like 15 years. There's a Potion in my PC. How does that work? Can I like, physically create a hot girl out of my porn too? That would be amazing. Well, except Red is too legit to bother with that shit. Mom says that all boys leave home because TV. Should I have named myself Bud Bundy?

I'm going to Professor Oak (that nigga man)'s lab. He's not there, but his magnificent douchebag of a grandson is. Oh well, herp derp into the tall grass. Oh no, it's a Pikachu! But the old man catches it for me. You didn't weaken it first, Professor. Did he use a Master Ball?

So back to the lab. Oak wants to give me an Eevee, but Blue is a douchebag and snatches it. I get the Pikachu, and roast Blue's Eevee (actually almost died here, that little shit managed to dish out some decent damage with Tackle due to STAB).

Pikachu gets no nickname because he stands above that bullshit. Pikachu isn't having your Pokeball, he isn't having your Thunderstone and he goddamn sure isn't answering to some retarded nickname. Deal with it, bitches.

Up historic Route 1 and into Viridian City. Nothing to do here except get a parcel for the Professor, since some shitty old man is bitching about his coffee and not letting me into Viridian Forest. So I hump it back to Pallet Town, and give Oak his package. I resent being used as a courier, but I suppose he did give me a Pokemon. I get a Pokedex. Blue also gets one, and then leaves doing his best Million Dollar Man laugh as he gloats about getting a Town Map from his sister and not letting me have one. So I go to his house, get a map anyway and bend Blue's sister over the table to boot. Owned.

Back through Route 1 to Viridian, and I can now buy Pokeballs! I buy 10, and slide back into Route 1 for my first capture. It's a Level 4 Pidgey. Its level gives it enough HP to survive one blast of Pikachu's Thundershock, and the bird is caught and named Xavier.

Rather than heading northward towards Viridian Forest, I'll be taking a detour into Route 22. Hoping to grab a Mankey in the tall grass to deal with Brock since Pikachu really can't and if I don't get something that can this run will be over in short order.

No Mankey, but I do get a male Nidoran which is almost as good. Caught and named Henry VIII. He will be decapitating many wives and Blue.

Henry is weak, only caught at Level 2 and so pretty much guaranteed to be killed by any wild Pokemon in a fight. So I spend some time using the switch tactic to get him some levels. By the time Henry VIII gets to Level 5 he can hold his own. Pikachu gets up to Level 8 during the king's training as well. Raise Nidoran up to match and also my Pidgey.

Blue eventually comes swaggering up the road, informing me that I can't enter the League because I got no Badges. Thanks for the info, shithead. I repay Blue's kindness by beating his roody-poo ass. Pikachu zaps his Spearow with Thundershock and Henry VIII slowly wears down Eevee with Horn Attack, a task made more cumbersome than it needs to be due to Sand-Attack annoyance.

Blue struts away after losing, which will become a theme I suppose, and I'm left going up Route 2. But not until I have to sit through a Pokemon catching tutorial from the shitty old coffee man. Fuck it, I have two caught Pokemon and I already got this tutorial sequence from Professor Oak anyway. Bah.

Route 2's wild encounter gives me my first repeat. First encounter is another Nidoran Male, which has to be killed.

Viridian Forest yield a wild Metapod that I named Viceroy. Viceroy heads to the box, since switch training Metapod for six levels is a pain in the ass. I'll break it out later if needed, where the wild beasts yield enough experience to make the whole business easier.

Squishing the Bug Catchers inside the woods gets Pikachu up to 12. A little training in the tall grass outside Pewter gets Henry to the same level, allowing him to learn the all important Double Kick which is to be my weapon of choice against Brock.

So then, into Pewter Gym. I note the Gary has already conquered the Gym. With an Eevee and a Spearow. I'm calling shenanigans on that.

Brock's mook gym trainer actually provides more irritation than the Leader himself. Diglett outspeeds my Nidoran and Sandshrew is annoyingly sturdy. It takes several Horn Attacks to put the rat down, and I have to burn a Potion in the process.

Brock went down quicker, but it was a harder battle still for several reasons.

Anyway, Geodude takes a couple Double Kicks to put down, no big deal.

Onix...gah. Double Kick doesn't do very much damage despite being Super Effective. Onix counters with Bide. I went ahead and switched to Xavier, and use Sand-Attack to lower Onix's accuracy in the same turn as Bide goes off, leaving Pidgey with a single HP point. Nidoran goes back in and immediately gets crippled with Bind and left unable to do shit for several turns. Another Double Kick brings Onix low enough to allow me to finish it in the next turn after a missed Screech.

So yeah, I could have lost something there and luckily didn't. I get...a Bide TM. >_>

I can't remember the last time I had the least bit of difficulty with Brock. This is going to be such a fun game.

So, now running around Route 3 and leveling up on the Trainers. Until next time.

Team

Pikachu - 12
Henry VIII (Nidoran M) - 14
Xavier (Pidgey) - 12

Box

Viceroy (Metapod)

XXXXXXXXXX

Okay, fuck, lost most of my writeup. Starting over...

The Trainers in Route 3 take a spike upward in level, resulting in me having to make several trips back to Pewter City to heal. Still, good experience and no real hardship. Until...

That goddamned Lass with the Jigglypuff. So yeah, status ailments in Gen I are a real threat rather than the nuisances they've become in later versions. Almost got Pidgey killed here because I naturally assumed it would wake up from Sing within like...eight fucking turns. It didn't and I had to switch in King Henry. Who immediately got Singed to sleep. But Jigglypuff wastes enough turns missing with Disable to allow His Majesty to wake up and bury his royal feet into Jigglypuff's pink skull. Fucking annoying...

Anyway, finally make it through Route 3 and reach that handy Pokemon Center at the base of Mt. Moon. So tempting to break my rules and buy the Magikarp here since it's a guaranteed find anywhere I use the Old Rod anyway, since having an early Gyarados would make battling Misty a much safer proposition. But no.

Before entering Mt. Moon, it's back into Route 3 for a little more training. Dunno if Yellow has that notorious Team Rocket schmuck with the Raticate, but I'll not be having my whole team Hyper Fang'd into the afterlife today. First encounter in the tall grass is a Rattata, caught and named Scabbers (blimey, mate).

From there, grind the team up to Level 16. Henry VIII evolves to Nidorino and then it's into Mt. Moon. First encounter is a Clefairy, believe it or not.

...You didn't actually believe that, right? You all know what it was. Neclord the fucking Zubat caught. Take a minute here to laugh at those old-school Pokemon sprites. From my team screen, Nidorino and Zubat have the same sprite. Because they're totally identical amirite?

Oh, and that Clefairy I joked about? Showed up in the second wild encounter. Ffffffuuuuu.

Pikachu is in charge here, flash frying Zubats like a boss. The encounter rate in here is annoying as Hell, but I'm still fairly poor and have no interest in burning my entire wallet on Repels. So just have to deal with it.

Eventually find a Moon Stone on the ground, and use it at once to evolve Henry VIII to Nidoking. I did my homework, and Nidorino learns nothing in this version to make it worth hanging around there for. I'm sure I'll manage without Poison Sting, somehow.

Long story short, no Raticate Rocket, eventually shake down a nerd and get a Fossil that I'll never be able to make use of due to my rules. Oh well, beating up the nerd was still worth it. So I'm heading to the exit and formulating a plan to deal with Misty.

...Oh my fucking God, it's those two Rocket stooges from the cartoon. So like, their gimmick is getting their ass kicked by Pikachu right?

Fuck the cartoon. They can kiss King Henry's royal feet and suck on his horn. Koffing and Ekans get Horn Attack'd and Meowth gets a mouthful of Henry's dirty feet. Team Rocket blast of at the speed of light.

Finally through the mountain and into Cerulean City. Heal up, adopt Bulbasaur because I'm a nice guy and then stuff it in the box because I'm not really a nice guy and dem rules.

Route 4's tall grass yields yet another flyer, this time a Spearow that is caught and named Salvatore. No relation to Vincenzo the Spearow from my Heart Gold run. That Spearow Mafia, man. Don't mess.

Anyway, grind up my team until it's appropriate (pondered doing Nugget Bridge and the following route early and feeding Pikachu until it learned Thunderbolt to guarantee a win over Misty) but decided to play it straight and match her level instead. I have a plan that damn well ought to work.

Pikachu wrecks Misty's underlings with no effort and it's on to the main event.

Pikachu versus Staryu is used to set up full Double Team. Staryu gets a low damage Water Gun through in the opening round, Misty wastes her second turn popping an X Defend and it's over from there. Staryu swings and misses several times as Pikachu Double Teams to max evasion. Once the setup is done, so is Staryu with one blast of Thundershock.

Starmie is much sturdier due to Special Attack and Special Defense being the same stat in Gen I. So it takes several Thundershocks to wear down Misty's ace. Starmie is helpless against Pikachu's evasiveness though, and can't break through to land a single attack. It's over soon enough, Cascade Badge get. Also Bubblebeam TM, which I hope to be putting to use before long.

Back to the Pokemon Center to heal up, and then it's on to celebrate in the best way I know how.

By whipping Blue's ass, of course.

The victorious Pikachu zaps Spearow. And then Gary gets to kiss King Henry's royal feet. Double Kick rips through the rest of his team, with both Rattata and Eevee going down in a single go.

And now the BCS Title game is on and I'll be back later to chronicle the Nugget Bridge Challenge.

Team

Pikachu - 22
Henry VIII (Nidoking) - 21
Xavier (Pidgeotto) - 20

Box

Viceroy (Metapod)
Scabbers (Rattata)
Neclord (Zubat)
Salvatore (Spearow)

Non-Usable Box

Bulbasaur