Regardless of Griphook's skill, I figure that'd be a pretty expensive handjob.

 

Bullshit. All it takes is a couple of knuts...

 

Somewhat bemused that - given time to invest some creative thought into the concept - this was the best you could come up with.

Funniest thing in the thread, yeah, but still pitiful. Oz should HoS himself.

 

But think about it, Griphook eats like raw meat and fungus and I bet he doesn't wash his hands that often. I mean, they don't even check their vaults except for like once every hundred years or something. So I'm thinking making more gold comes ahead of hygiene and masturbation. Like how do they even get clean - in some nasty river cause it saves them money, or in a bathtub made of solid gold? I wouldn't want some crusty ass goblin touching my junk no matter how thorough, which I believe they would be.

 

Cleanliness is next to wizardingness

 

You need help Snorkack.

 

You know what, for the last few weeks I had been thinking DLP was starting to get a little boring. People hadn't been updating their stories all that often, the conversation was rather tame, and the people were civil. Now OZ goes and brings up this shit.

Welcome back old friend.

 

Eh, I can't really picture it. I mean, I just keep thinking scaly, and that's kind of a dealbreaker...

 

This thread reminds me of an old fic that has long since disappeared.

I'll leave it to Xiph0 to explain what it was about.

 

I don't know why I keep clicking on this thread.

 

Morbid curiosity? Seeing how strange this thing will get? That's why I do it.

 

Makes you wonder about Flitwick's heritage doesn't it? Was his ancestor a strapping goblin male with clever fingers or a buxom female goblin that had to beat the wand-carriers off with a battleaxe?

 

I for one can't comprehend why I keep on coming back to this thread.

@Snorkack, like I said, you need a mind healer

And since you mentioned Flitwick's heritage, what about Hagrid? I find it hardly believable for Hagrid's wizard father to fall in love with a giantess who is like 30 times his size or impregnate her for that matter, now that I think of it.

 

Hagrid's dad must've been one hell of a guy.

 

I'm sure it was his personality that attracted her.

 

1. Incarcerous
2. Confundus
3. Engorgio
4. ???
5. Rubeus

Silly Sn0rkack- there are no goblin women; goblins are incubated inside magical humans with more debt than they'll ever afford to pay back.

 

Well, it sure wasn't his dick.



/oh god I've posted in this thread now.

 

And this is why I shouldn't read this thread while I'm sick . . . I swear I read "Strap on" goblin.

Funny how a few letter's difference can change the meaning.