Who needs a strap-on when you have polyjuice potion? Good thing polyjuice doesn't work on those goblins cause we all know they'll do anything for some quick gold.

 

As for Hagrid, I always assumed the male human impregnated the female giant, but this thread has me wondering for the first time whether it might have been the other way around. How big are giant dicks anyway? Is that written somewhere in canon?

 

I seem to recall a part in the books where Hagrid talks about picking his dad up when he was just a kid.

 

Or transfiguration. Switchblade-dicks for everybody!

 

I think you mean groinsaws.