Menace made the same mistake as you. And my Cut slave died. I spent ages grinding on wild pokemon, but he had a Magikarp, so I think he just restarted.

But I'd say you're fine with using something else to cut the tree down. This challenge isn't about troll trees, it's about troll pokemon.

 

Current Team

Androssi (Luxio) - 19
Jinsung (Machop) - 19
Amigo (Geodude) - 18
Yuto (Zubat) - 12

And with these four intrepid warriors, into the darkness of Eterna Forest I go. But not alone, as it seems I also have to drag along some frumpy-looking bitch with a Chansey. But this Cheryl is willing to act as the team's medic and thus I will allow her to bask in our presence.

Not much trouble to be had in the woods, except one almost costly derp on my part when I used Amigo the Geodude to take on that double battle against the Bug Catcher and whoever the bitch is with the Pachirisu. It came at the end when the bug dork sent out his Beautifly. Rock type versus a Bug/Flying is an obvious win for me, right? Silly me had no idea that Beautifly can use Absorb, and his did so for quadruple damage. But Amigo lived and squished that poor man's Butterfree with Rock Throw.

Soon enough, I reach the exit to the forest. Cheryl tries to offer sex as a thank you, but I turn her ass down and get a Soothe Bell from the dejected creature.

On the other side, I beat up some Fishermen (oh god why @ six Magikarps...), heal up in Eterna City and then trek back into Eterna Forest to level up Yuto. Smooth sailing, she hits Level 16 soon enough, at which point I go out and take my place among the Fishermen. Reel in Yuri the Magikarp. I am glad that Tower of God has so many badass Princesses because it seems the game wants to give me female Pokemon for everything I actually want to use over the long haul.

New Capture: Yuri the Magikarp, Level 5. Next capture at Level 15.

Yuri goes into the Box, as I plan to level her once I get the Exp. Share. Next move is to level Yuto up to 20 so that she is all prepared to wreck Gardenia's shit. And then, I stroll about town, run into Naruto who has an epic plan to become the best. Never get hit, make sure never to miss. No doubt this is sage advice. Keep it up, my boy. You will become Hokage one day, 'ttebayo.

Cyrus the Virus appears again, and then leaves. Fucking walk around us, asshole. Why do we have to move out of your way? I will surely beat your ass three times later for this slight.

But in more welcome news, as I approach the weird building walled off by bushes, a delectable little goddess comes sauntering up. This mysterious but very well-endowed Cynthia gives me a Cut HM and her number (actually just the HM, unfortunately) and leaves like a tease.

And, as you all have read, I now realize that I have been trolled.

Nothing on my team can learn Cut, except my starter which is verboten.

I will have all of you know this. I took my medicine like a fucking MAN, and pulled Yuri out of the box and switch-leveled her up to 15. But that story will see its end later.

I switched Yuri in and out against the Trainers on Route 211 west, and continued to do so through Eterna Gym (including all of Gardenia's Pokemon).

And so, the gym. Yuto the Zubat handled her business like a pro. Dat Flying/Poison typing with its double resistance to Grass. The trainers were a joke, since I had Pluck and they could do nothing to Yuto.

Gardenia, on the other hand, was annoying. Not hard, and I was never in any danger whatsoever, but it took awhile because Zubat is fairly weak and Gardenia had some solid annoyance tactics going.

Turtwig managed to set up Reflect, also start Sunny Day for the Cherrim, and be a general irritant. But it fell to Pluck once the Reflect wore off.

Cherrim was even worse, opening the fight by setting up Leech Seed and then not really taking as much damage as I would have liked to deliver due to solid defenses (at least compared to Zubat's pathetic stats). But it too eventually fell, though leaving me with a mere 18 HP. The switch to Yuri after actually proved useful in getting rid of the seeding.

So, I will on occasion play with fire, as veterans of my Nuzlocke adventures well know. I did so again here, switching a low HP Zubat into Gardenia's Roserade. The dumb bitch decided to be cocky and try to kill Yuri with Grass Knot, which did almost no damage to Yuto on the switch. Super Potion to heal Yuto to max HP, and then I plucked and ate Roserade's Sitrus Berry on the ensuing turn. Meanwhile Roserade is using Magical Leaf for 10 damage a pop, nowhere near enough. A second Pluck sinks Roserade.

Forest Badge obtained, one Evolution now available.

So, Grass Knot TM also acquired, which will prove useful upon a day. Love Grass Knot.

And now, the arduous Magikarp Grind continues on Route 211. No more Trainers to abuse, so it's slow grinding against wild 'Mon to get those last couple of levels. I will be a better man for enduring this, and it will make all the ass kickings that Yuri will one day deliver in my name when she becomes a mighty Gyarados all the sweeter.

AT LAST level 15, Repel up and run alllllllllll the way back home to Route 201.

Something appears. You're ugly, weak, useless, ugly, I hate you, ugly, and I wish you would die you worthless little treacherous bitch. But you are apparently somehow necessary for the continuation of my story so I am forced to tolerate you. You are Rachel the Bidoof.

New capture: Rachel the Bidoof, Level 2. Next capture at Level 12.

So, in all seriousness, it's a Very Good Thing that I got a Bidoof. Because had it been a non Cut using Starly, then...well, let's not go too deep into particulars. It would have been ugly. Even more so than Bidoof, or the Tower of God character she is named after.

And I'm calling it a day here in the middle of getting Rachel a couple of levels. Forcing myself through that Magikarp grind very much sapped the desire out of me.

Summary

Badges Obtained: Coal, Forest
1/2 Evolutions Used
Most Recent Capture: Bidoof, Level 6. Next capture at Level 12.

Team

Androssi (Luxio) - 23
Jinsung (Machop) - 20
Amigo (Geodude) - 20
Yuto (Zubat) - 21
Rachel (Bidoof) - 6, Cut Slave

Box

Hendo (Turtwig) - 6
Yuri (Magikarp) - 15

 

Okay, a lot happened.

The battle with Whitney happened like this: Kens the Butterfree kills the Clefairy easily, Miltank is sent out, uses Rollout, and sweeps my team.

… x5.

Fuck this gym leader so much. Eventually, I found that as long I didn’t go into Butterfree while Miltank was out, Miltank wouldn’t use Rollout, but that’s only one of its stupid, stupid attacks. My Togetic was two levels higher than the Miltank but I still got owned five times out of six. First, Miltank would use Attract, then use Stomp to flinch-hax me to death. The situation could only get worse if I was paralyzed. On my sixth try, Lucky the Togetic won by using Yawn with Extrasensory. Even after all that, Whitney refused to give me my badge and had a tantrum. I felt like killing her. :/

I don't care what people say, I'm not counting that bullshit battle. Let's ignore it and continue on with this fine Nuzlocke.

I destroyed the Sudowoodo who blocked my path, and got to Ecruteak. Some guy wasted my time at the Pokemon Center, but he will repay me with an Eevee later. First, I needed new meat-shields Pokemon. In the grass below Ecruteak, I found a Pidgey (F). I caught her and named her Poytina. In the route west of Ecruteak, I prayed for a Magnamite, but no, I got a Raticate (M). His Hyper Fang nearly murdered my Butterfree, but I lived, caught him, and named him Sesc. Finally, Burned Tower. I didn’t want a Zubat, so I used Repel until I got into the basement, where Koffing are found at 50%. I found one, thank god, and I named her Banner. I didn’t bother mentioning my rival because he was as pathetic as always.

I went back to Goldenrod and got the Eevee (M) off Bill. I name him Churchy, and since I didn’t get a Magnemite, a Thunder Stone is in this Eevee’s future. For that, I spent hours at the Poke Dome in the Jump category, putting my Pokemon through tough trials including bouncing on a big balloon, catching discs at the beach, and running a race. It was all very torturous. But I got my prize and Churchy evolved into a Jolteon.

I’m still training right now. It’s slow work, but no one’s died so far! So I think I’m doing well.

Current Team
Kens the Butterfree (Level 22).
Lucky the Togetic (Level 23).
Sesc the Raticate (Level 16).
Banner the Koffing (Level 15).
Churchy the Jolteon (Level 15).

Box
Poytina the Pidgey (Level 15).

Rest In Peace
Klael the Zubat (Level 2).
Cheddar the Sentret (Level 11).
Ashaya the Spearow (Level 11).
MattSilver the Chikorita (Level 11).
Jack the Unown J (Level 5)
Klael2 the Zubat (Level 6).
Oz the Onix (Level 6).
Poytin the Pidgey (Level 14).
LT2000 the Beedrill (Level 12).
Tinn the Drowzee (Level 14).
Ashura the Spearow (Level 15).
Taure the Hoothoot (Level 16).
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Kens the Butterfree (Level 21). x5
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Lucky the Togetic (Level 21). x5

 

Wow I think that's the first time someone has named a pokemon after me in this thread.

I'm suddenly very flattered and happy for your growing horde of dead pokemon. I've always been more of a Vaporeon/Umbreon type of guy, but hey Jolteon ain't bad. Godspeed.

 

I'd love an Umbreon (or an Espeon!), but I don't have the patience to make an Eevee love me in a Nuzlocke. It would evolve, then die immediately. That's just how the world works.

Though, I almost went with a Flareon instead of a Jolteon, but that rock weakness scared me. Vaporeon didn't get considered because I would get a water-type in Olivine anyways. I don't have any particular opinion of Jolteon, but if nothing else, it murders flying-types like a pro.

 

Flareon in Gen IV and beyond is kind of balls, so thanks for going with the Jolteon

 

This game is screwing with me.

I’ve mostly been training my three new recruits and it’s going well, no one’s died yet. Churchy the Jolteon is killing fools with Dig and Thunder Shock, Banner the Koffing takes hits like a pro, and it’s nice to have a Raticate’s Hyper Fang on my side for once. There were a few setbacks, like those goddamn wild Stantler, whose Hypnosis ALWAYS hit and Stomp wreaking even my Butterfree. It’s come to the point I have to switch my new guys out whenever a Stantler shows up. They’re making me waste money on Awakenings too. Also, Raikou is stalking me. Three time he’s interrupted my training, flipped me off, then fled like a coward. COME BACK AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!!!

Eventually, I got tired to training so I took a break and went to Olivine. I avoided the trainers as I didn’t think my Pokemon were ready for them yet. What I really wanted was a water-type. It took me five minutes to find the damn Good Rod, but once I had it, it was fishing time. Come on, good water-type, grace me with your presence!

I fished up a level 20 Corsola (M).

I had Kens the Butterfree in front, but when I saw this cute little rock-type, sirens went off in my head. ABORT! SAVE THE BUTTERFREE! ABORT! I got my bug-flying type out of there and sent out Lucky the Togetic. Corsola used Bubble, which was adorably weak. I put the Corsola to sleep with Yawn then switched to Banner the Koffing. I didn’t trust Churchy the Jolteon to lower its HP without killing it. Banner used Assurance a few times but it did little damage and as soon as Corsola woke up, it used Recover like a smug douchebag. Seeing the pointlessness in all this I got off a Poison Gas, but Corsola saw that and was like, “You wanna play, motherfucker? LET’S PLAY,” and used Rock Blast. I fucking hate these multiple hit moves, they ALWAYS fuck me over. Corsola got a crit on the first hit and hit three times in all, leaving Banner was in yellow with sixteen HP. I was D8-ing. Worse of all, there wasn’t much I could do. I used a Super Potion but Cosola used Rock Blast again, hitting Banner the Koffing four times, and critting on its last. Banner died.

I sent out Sesc the Raticate, the most expendable, to bide time while Poison did its work. He helped it along by using Bite a couple times. Corsola did nothing but use Refresh and Bubble; having killed a beloved Pokemon, its work was done. I caught it with my first Great Ball, and named him Rents. Rents, I don’t know you gender or even who the fuck you are, but congratulations, you’re a Corsola.

The Corsola was holding a Hard Rock, which powers up rock-type attacks. That explains that. Apparently, Corsola are only found at 3% with the Good Rod, which means I encountered a miracle that’s 2x weak to grass moves. Joy.

It sucks my Koffing died though. I liked that Koffing. :/

Current Team
Lucky the Togetic (Level 23).
Kens the Butterfree (Level 23).
Sesc the Raticate (Level 17).
Churchy the Jolteon (Level 18 ).
Rents the Corsola (Level 20).

Box
Poytina the Pidgey (Level 15).

Rest In Peace
Klael the Zubat (Level 2).
Cheddar the Sentret (Level 11).
Ashaya the Spearow (Level 11).
MattSilver the Chikorita (Level 11).
Jack the Unown J (Level 5)
Klael2 the Zubat (Level 6).
Oz the Onix (Level 6).
Poytin the Pidgey (Level 14).
LT2000 the Beedrill (Level 12).
Tinn the Drowzee (Level 14).
Ashura the Spearow (Level 15).
Taure the Hoothoot (Level 16).
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Kens the Butterfree (Level 21). x5
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Lucky the Togetic (Level 21). x5
Banner the Koffing (Level 17).

 

Alright school is almost over so it's time to start a nuzlocke with a twist.... I swear on all of my internet manliness I will finish this one!

My adventure started with me almost getting killed by a Rattata... I woke up in the middle of the night, and decided to watch some po- I mean get a potion. Pulling a Lungs I accidently sniffed said potion and had the brilliant idea to go into the tall grass without a pokemanz. However it seems fate was on my side that day as Prof Samuel Broseph Oak saved me, and even offered me a pokemanz of my own! But things were not as good as they seemed, Oak's docuhy grandson Nuzlock [damn letter limit] was there for a pokemanz too.

Oak obviously favoring me over Nuzlock gave me the first choice, so I picked the greatest starter of all, Charmander. Remembering my hatred of Ponyta, I named him in honor of Poytin. Nuzlock being the pussy he is picked Squirtle and proceeded to talk shit. With Poytin's lonely nature and my hatred, Squirtle was defeated without any problems. Aftwards I began my trek to Viridian City. Route 1 was a joke, Poytin sharpened his claws on some Rattata and Pidgy, so when I arrived at Viridian I went to the pokemart to get something to clean his claws.

As I entered the pokemart the clerk instantly asked me to go deliver something to Oak. Happy to repay my debt in some manner I take the package and deliver to Oak with haste. It turns out it was for the Pokedex's which Oak gave me and Nuzlock for his research. Nuzlock gloated about having a town map, to which I replied town maps are for pussies. I merrily make my way to Route 1 hoping for a Pidgey but... fucking Rattata D8 Having to much respect to name it after my fellow DLP'ers I name it after Joey hoping it will be in the top percentile.

Route 22 was much better giving me Menace the Mankey with a Naive nature. My trek into Viridian was horrible, I encountered a Metapod spamming Harden, eventually Poytin weakend it enough to catch and Syed was added to the team. After my encounter with Syed, to calm Poytin's bloodlust I had him slaughter some Caterpie. I am now resting at the Pokemon Center until tomorrow.

Team
Poytin the Charmandurr Level 7
Joey the Rattata Level 3
Menace the Mankey Level 3
Syed the Metapod Level 5

 

Work has been a grind this week, haven't had much gaming time and thus have made little progress since the last writeup. I'll try to toss something up later this morning.

 

Lucky you beautiful bastard. Also my stream run of Platinum finished.

Platinum:
Redshell - Luxio - Level 22 - Kadabra was faster than everything.
Lunge Fish - Shellos - Level 23 - Forgot to heal.
Toad - Bibarel - Level 20 - Dat Pursuit.
Cloaker - Shieldon - Level 21 - Kicked in the face.
Birdo - Gastrodon - Level 69 - Tanked your way through Solarbeams and sweeping two Elite 4 members by yourself to die to Spiritomb. I salute you. Never would have gotten this far without you.
Yoshi - Jolteon - Level 68 - Milotic survived the attack to Mirror Coat. Instant death. At least you took out Togekiss.

GAME OVER! YOU HAVE WON! CELEBRATE YOUR VICTORY WITH THOSE WHO HAVE SURVIVED!
Blue Shell - Torterra - Level 68 - You beastly starter. You are great.
ParaGoomba - Crobat - Level 68 - Crobat always wins. And you're no exception.
Mario - Togekiss - Level 69 - Special sweeper with a wide variety of moves = excellent.
IceGuy - Weavile - Level 68 - You earned that last spot on the team even with your bad stats. You did well.

 

Current Team

Androssi (Luxio) - 23
Jinsung (Machop) - 20
Amigo (Geodude) - 20
Yuto (Zubat) - 21
Rachel (Bidoof) - 6, Cut Slave

Leveled Rachel a couple more times in the relative safety of Route 201, and then headed back to Eterna City to evict Team Galactic from their weird-ass building because that's what a hero does.

Amigo got most of the experience that the Galactic Grunts had to offer, though Androssi stepped in to handle the Scientist with his Kadabra. The Kadabra fell in one shot to Bite, since its derpy Trainer decided to use an X Special and give me the initiative.

Luxio remained on point against Commander Jupiter, and wiped out her Zubat with Spark.

And here comes Skuntank, the widowmaker. Amigo swaps in to be the first sacrifice to the mighty fucking skunk. Night Slash lowers Amigo's HP about a third. Magnitude 7 reduces Skuntank to critical HP, but doesn't kill and activates its Sitrus Berry. Second Night Slash hits, and dat HP keeps on dropping. Down, down, down...to one single HP point. My Geodude survived, and overkilled the shit out of Skuntank with Magnitude 10.

Yes, that did actually happen. I was 100% prepared to lose Amigo in this battle, and was really using him to weaken Skuntank so that Jinsung could clean up. But Geodude was a boss rock and handled that shit on his own. I almost want to keep him in my team over the long haul in recognition. If only wild Graveler weren't so common later on.

So, Team Galactic runs like bitches. I get a Bike that I will use, an Explorer Kit that I will not use, and a Togepi egg from Cynthia that I someday might use but put in the box until such time.

Jinsung and Yuto go into the box, Yuri comes back out. I also drop into the Poke Mart and clean the place out of Repels.

Into Cycling Road! Pick up the Exp. Share at the entrance, and realize that I could have done so earlier and not had to use the switch tactic to level Yuri to 15. Raaaaage. But she gets it now, and Androssi takes the lion's share of the experience to be had on Cycling Road. Yuri getting closer to evolution, but not quite there still.

Return to Oreburgh City, head into the mines and allow Rachel (taught Rock Smash via HM) to beat up on Geodudes until she hits Level 12 and opens up another capture.

Now back north to Route 206, where I cut through the tree and head into the wilds. Amigo handles the Hiker(s), honestly can't remember how many there were, since Luxio sucks ass against Geodude and Onix.

Repel up to avoid wild encounters outside (no use for Ponyta, Machop and Geodude are repeats and Gligar is too rare) and grab the items strewn about the route, and then it's into Wayward Cave hidden entrance and downstairs.

You knew I was going to take the obligatory shot at a Gible to perhaps break this game wide open, right?

Of course, the game well knows how broken Garchomp is and doesn't allow me one. But I do get Mexcess the Bronzor, who is also interesting. I've never used a Bronzong and intended to use Espeon yet again as the resident Psychic. But Nuzlocke is all about discovering the charms of new Pokemon, so I'll try this. I have to level it ten times regardless...

New Capture: Mexcess the Bronzor, Level 20. Next capture at Level 30.

Now it's time to douse myself in Repel and grab the goodies inside (Earthquake TM!) and back outside to beat up on wild Ponyta until Yuri hits level 20 via shared experience. And that means...

Yuri the Magikarp evolves to Gyarados, 2/2 Evolutions used.

Now into Wayward Cave proper, no real reason except completion's sake. I stumble across a lost little girl deep in the cave. Now to be nice and help Mira get out. Nice Kadabra. Also beat up on Trainers, letting Mira assist in a Double Battle where it pleases me to do so. Mexcess and Yuri share most of the kills, as both need experience.

No danger except for one Collector with a Gible (Dragon Rage is pretty lethal right now). But Androssi makes it shudder with a love bite and then it wastes its second turn using a useless Sand Tomb.

Backtrack to Eterna City, go into the woods and into the Old Chateau. Easy leveling to catch Yuri and Mexcess up to speed, since both can oneshot the wild Gastly that pervade the place. Also pick up a Dread Plate, which goes on Yuri to make her teeth even more lethal.

Once that's done, it's through Mt. Coronet to Hearthome. Dawn shows up and gives me a couple very nice goodies. Vs Seeker and Dowsing Machine get. Cyrus the Virus is lurking about inside the mountain, bitching about people like an antisocial dork.

I run into a Buneary as I head into Hearthome City. It belongs to some girl named Keira. She wants to thank me properly for helping her catch her Pokemon. I have some ideas as to how. But my mom shows up to cockblock and gives me a Tuxedo. Yay.

Meet Fantina, and head to the Gym to kick her derriere.

Yuri chews up Hearthome Gym with Bite. No damage taken except the occasional Aftermath upon killing a Drifloon.

Fantina does a little better, but not much. Bite oneshots both Duskull and Haunter. Mismagius outspeeds Yuri and Shadow Balls her. Bite, of course, almost kills but doesn't quite get it done. Sitrus Berry activated, and another identical round ends with a dead(er) Mismagius. Bless Gyarados and its retarded high Special Defense.

Relic Badge obtained, one Evolution now available.

Also get Shadow Claw TM, which I can't use at the moment.

Naruto is waiting to ambush me as I try to head eastward out of Hearthome. Staravia tries to set up Double Team, but only gets one successful evasion out of it and gets killed with two Sparks by Androssi (would have been one except Intimidate).

Buizel likewise dies with two Sparks, connecting with Water Gun in between.

Mexcess comes out to handle Monferno. Heatproof leaves me confident that Bronzor can handle it despite the Fire weakness. Monferno uses Leer to open, Extrasensory counter inflicts heavy damage. Flame Wheel in the second round doesn't even inflict half damage to my Bronzor wall despite STAB, double damage and lowered defense. Extrasensory wastes Naruto's little monkey.

Mexcess remains out to deal with Roselia, who sets up Leech Seed and Stun Spore in the process of being killed by a pair of Extrasensory bursts.

Later, Naruto. And later to you all as well.

Summary

Badges Obtained: Coal, Forest, Relic
2/3 Evolutions Used
Most Recent Capture: Bronzor, Level 27. Next capture at Level 30.

Team

Androssi (Luxio) - 28
Yuri (Gyarados) - 27
Mexcess (Bronzor) - 27
Rachel (Bidoof) - 12, Cut/Rock Smash Slave

Box

Hendo (Turtwig) - 6
Yuto (Zubat) - 22
Jinsung (Machop) - 21
Amigo (Geodude) - 23

Unhatched Eggs

Togepi

 

A lot of stuff happened! Let me tell you about it:

I took on Ecruteak gym. With two psychic-move using Pokemon on my team it was a snap. Morty was just as simple. One Gastly and one Haunter died in one hit, the other Haunter in two hits, and the Gengar couldn’t do anything to my Togetic except Sucker Punch which didn’t hit once. All the ghosts kept wasting their time using Mean Look, every damn time. It was pathetic.

After getting Surf, I went to Olivine and kicked the asses of the Lighthouse trainers. Jasmine begged for my help and I dutifully agreed to assist her. My destination was Cianwood, to the west. I got on my Corsola and began my trip. I ran into a Tentacool (M), but Rents the Corsola killed it with Rock Blast. Shame on you, Rents! In the next route I came across another Tentacool (F), this one I caught and named Drome. I landed at Cianwood. I used Rock Smash on a rock and came across a Krabby (M), which was quickly named Lungs. Suicune came by for a visit, but before I could question it on the whereabouts of its craven sibling Raikou, Eusine broke up the party and Suicune fled. Eusine tried to fight me, but he was no match for my awesome Pokemon.

Next up was the gym. The only guy who gave me trouble was the Hitmonchan guy with his stupid elemental punches. Churchy the Jolteon ultimately brought me victory in the match, though I had to sacrifice Sesc the Raticate to switch to him. Chuck was another matter. I had Kens the Butterfree out in front, and he had a Primeape. I tried using Poison Powder but it missed, then suddenly SURPRISE ROCK SLIDE. If nothing else, at least Kens’s death was quick. I switched into Lucky the Togetic. The Primeape tried to Double Team, but I used Extrasensory to kill it. For the Poliwrath, I switched to Churchy, who ruined Poliwrath’s constant use of Focus Punch with Thunder Shock. The Poliwrath did switch attacks on the last turn, but I crit killed it before I could find out what it was. Whoops!

Yay, Fly HM, this will be useful. I Surfed back to Olivine because I needed to clean up a few missed trainers. Once at Olivine, I healed Jasmine’s Amphy, but before I could go to the gym, I heard joyous news: the Safari Zone was open! New Pokemon, here I come!

Current Team
Lucky the Togetic (Level 28 ).
Churchy the Jolteon (Level 28 ).
Rents the Corsola (Level 28 ).
Poytina the Pidgey (Level 15).

Box
Taurina the Hoothoot (Level 17).*
Drome the Tentacool (Level 20).
Lungs the Krabby (Level 24).

Rest In Peace
Klael the Zubat (Level 2).
Cheddar the Sentret (Level 11).
Ashaya the Spearow (Level 11).
MattSilver the Chikorita (Level 11).
Jack the Unown J (Level 5)
Klael2 the Zubat (Level 6).
Oz the Onix (Level 6).
Poytin the Pidgey (Level 14).
LT2000 the Beedrill (Level 12).
Tinn the Drowzee (Level 14).
Ashura the Spearow (Level 15).
Taure the Hoothoot (Level 16).
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Kens the Butterfree (Level 21). x5
[DOOMED TIMELINE] Lucky the Togetic (Level 21). x5
Banner the Koffing (Level 17).
Sesc the Raticate (Level 17).
Kens the Butterfree (Level 28 ).

*I forgot to mention I caught Taurina the Hoothoot in Ecruteak with Headbutt.

 

I am the greatest Togetic ever.

My adventure continues with a tragedy, loss, and rage. Deciding to grind in Viridian Forest and using the bait and switch method of leveling didn't work. Fucking poison sting D8 so I decide to go to Route 22 and level up there. After I grind for a bit I decide to explore and bam! Fucking Nuzlock and his shitty bird and turtle. Poytin deep fried his bird easily enough, but I didn't want to take chances with the turtle. Menace was able to weaken him a fair amount but it wasn't enough. My brave underdog Joey sacrficed himself to save Menace. He went out like a champ getting off a tail whip on Squirtle which enabled Poytin to scratch that damn shades wearing turtle to death. I don't know why or how Nuzlock got his Squirtle to wear shades but I digress.

I am now in mourning at the Pokemon Center.

Team
Poytin the Charmandurr Level 10
Syed the Metapod Level 5
Menace the Mankey Level 8

RIP
Joey the Rattata Level 4

 

Current Team

Androssi (Luxio) - 28
Yuri (Gyarados) - 27
Mexcess (Bronzor) - 27
Rachel (Bidoof) - 12, Cut/Rock Smash Slave

Travelling the routes to and through Solaceon Town, Androssi starts to lag a bit behind in levels as I halt her training at Level 29. Don't care to trigger her Evolution to Luxray until I'm ready to use it, and my one stocked Evo is earmarked for Mexcess because Maylene is the next gym.

I did run through Solaceon Ruins and pick up several elemental stones, given me a breadth of options should I decide to backtrack and pick up the Eevee in Hearthome City at some point. I'd rather save that to plug a potential hole later though. Also get the Defog HM and a Mind Plate that will help to put some much needed punch behind Mexcess' weak Extrasensory attacks.

Bypassing Lost Tower for this precise moment, as it's almost time to make another capture and I know exactly what I want to aim at. After crushing a Black Belt on Route 215, Mexcess hits Level 30. And it's daytime, which means 40% odds of a Staravia on this route, so right into the grass.

...To discover a goddamned Marill. Fuck you, game. Prince the Marill caught with some reluctance, as I very much wanted to kill this little piece of shit but am unsure how that works with Nuzlocke Squared rules.

New Capture: Prince the Marill, Level 20. Next capture at Level 30.

So, now I have to grind ten levels on this trash. I consider the Exp. Share, but honestly I think abusing that violates the spirit of the rule so I won't. I pretty much had to with Yuri earlier because Magikarp, but I'll suffer through doing the honest work here.

I first tried grinding on the wild Ponyta and Geodudes on Route 210 right north of Solaceon, but I ended up having to switch too often due to running into the likes of Roselia, Staravia, et cetera that WOULD kill a shitty Marill. Then I remembered, there are those two Hikers back west of Hearthome who have Onix and Nosepass. No real danger there, so I place the Vs Seeker on my Y button and trek back.

Those two buffoons get to donate their wallets and their pride to assist the noble cause of getting this fat blue crapsack out of my team as soon as humanly possible.

So Prince grinds up to Level 26 there as I cancel every attempts he makes to become an Azumarill, which at least makes him survivable enough to complete his training in the location I have in mind a bit later (should be a lot quicker).

So now it's into Lost Tower. Slave swap here, as Rachel goes into the box and Yuto comes back out to learn Defog.

Mexcess gets most of the experience during the climb, since I need it to evolve to Bronzong ASAP. Yuri helps with the occasional Double Battle. Reaching the top nets me a Spell Tag and a Cleanse Tag.

I've already cleaned out most of the Trainers prior to Veilstone at this point, so getting there is a quick process. But on the way, I use the Vs Seeker on a Black Belt a couple times to get Mexcess to Level 33, which means...

Mexcess the Bronzor evolves to Bronzong, 3/3 Evolutions used.

Once in Veilstone, I decide to go ahead and pull the trigger on a decision I've been mulling for awhile and use the Earthquake TM on Yuri. I might regret doing this later, but it will maximize my chances of getting past Maylene without any casualties now.

South to Route 214 to complete Prince's training in the grass. Even with his piss poor stats, Bubblebeam packs enough oomph to oneshot the wild Rhyhorn and Geodudes that appear here, while Rollout can twoshot Houndour. The only threat is Graveler, which I run from on sight. One Selfdestruct is a game ruiner and I have no intention of allowing that to happen.

Prince hits Level 30 and is banished to the box. Good fucking riddance...

And now it's time to get another Badge. After meeting Dawn and the great Hulk Hogan outside, Mexcess sweeps Veilstone Gym with ease now that he's a mighty Bronzong, also takes out Maylene's Meditite and Machoke. It probably could have handled Lucario as well, but that thing has Bone Rush and enough Attack to ruin my day if I get unlucky enough to eat a critical or have it hit 4+ times.

So Yuri gets the task, taking an ineffective Force Palm with ease and slaughtering Lucario with Earthquake.

Cobble Badge obtained, one Evolution now available.

Also get a Drain Punch TM. I love Drain Punch and very much hope to get something that can put it to use down the road.

Dawn needs help because she's useless and managed to lose her Pokedex. Blah. Yuri gets to handle my end of the Double Battle, and creates some epic trolling. The Galactic Grunts lead with a pair of Zubat, which both beat up on Dawn's Clefairy. Yuri misses with Ice Fang, but all the better as Dawn has her little pink blob of space crap use Gravity to being both Zubat to the ground.

Well, if you insist...

Earthquake kills both bats and Dawn's Clefairy. She sends out a Kadabra (how did you manage to lose to Team Galactic with a Kadabra, you dumb bitch?) and the grunts answer with a Croagunk and a Stunky. Right. Earthquake triple kills again. I win alone and get a Fly HM which is taught at once to Yuto.

So now it's on to Pastoria to main event WrestleMania. Crushing a trainer gets Androssi to Level 30.

Androssi the Luxio evolves to Luxray, 4/4 Evolutions used.

Currently beating up on the remainder of the Trainers on this route. I might try to grab a Houndour here tonight, but I haven't decided on that. It's more likely that I'll use my currently open capture in the Great Marsh.

Summary

Badges Obtained: Coal, Forest, Relic, Cobble
4/4 Evolutions Used
Most Recent Capture: Marill, Level 30. Next capture available now.

Team

Androssi (Luxray) - 33
Yuri (Gyarados) - 33
Mexcess (Bronzong) - 35
Yuto (Zubat) - 22, Fly/Defog Slave

Box

Hendo (Turtwig) - 6
Jinsung (Machop) - 21
Amigo (Geodude) - 23
Rachel (Bidoof) - 12
Prince (Marill) - 30

Unhatched Eggs

Togepi

 

Huge Power marill or thick fat?

 

Huge Power, but I still don't want to use it.

 

My arrogance cost me Menace... Deciding Poytin was a bamf enough at level 13 to take Brock out with Metal Claw was naive. The Gym disciple went out like a bitch, as did Brock's Geodude. However I was not prepared for SkyEater. Rock Tomb nearly killed Poytin, I decided to switch to Menace and have him finish off SkyEater with Low Kick. WRONG! Crithax occured and Menace died, but Poytin was swift to avenge his death.

Nothing special about Route 3, although Mom sent me Running Shoes instead of punishing me for leaving on an adventure without telling her. Caught CareOtters the Spearow, and Mt Moon was just as useless yieldng a Zubat I rage killed. Route 4 was looking just as bleak, but a miracle occured. Vira the Sandshrew with a lonely nature, she would be murdering Surge happily. Rival battle was close as I had to rely on Poytin who had evolved, and Syed who I also leveled up out of desperation. But Nuzlock went out like a bitch, and even had the audacity to give me a fame checker. I already know I'm famous, stop giving me your garbage you douch :/

Nugget Bridge was fun, I got a nugget and stomped a few shitty trainers. Team Rocket seeing my talent attempted to recruit me, however being the hero I am I defeated the recruiter and stole his nugg- I mean claimed it for justice. I went to Route 24 hoping for something to give an edge against Misty, and what do you know a Bellsprout appeared. Yoink, and welcome to the team LT2000. I slapped aside some trainers on the way to meet Bill, and finally got into his house.

Bill is a furry, he may deny it but why else would he try to become a pokemon? Begging me for my silence, he offered me an all expense paid ticket to the S.S. Anne. I will now grind LT2000 and Vira up for a bit and defeat Misty, wish me luck~

Team
Vira the Sandshrew Level 15
Poytin the Charmeleon Level 20
Syed the Butterfree Level 19
LT2000 the Bellsprout Level 17

Box
CareOtters the Spearow Level I don't care or remember

RIP
Menace the Mankey
Joey the Hero Rattata

 

So, the inevitable has happened.

Current Team

Androssi (Luxray) - 33
Yuri (Gyarados) - 33
Mexcess (Bronzong) - 35
Yuto (Zubat) - 22, Fly/Defog Slave

Instead of the Great Marsh, I decided to Fly back to Hearthome to see if I could get access to Route 212 North, where there are many good things to be had with only a 25% chance of Marill. As luck would have it, the camera crew was gone and I was able to enter.

I got a Marill.

New Capture: Miseng the Marill, Level 23. Next capture at level 33.

I wanted to kill her, I wanted to pretend I didn't see her, and I wanted to add a No Repeats rule. But this is Iron Law Nuzlocke Hardcore, and I have to train her. I felt so trolled at this moment. If I only knew...

Those two Hikers shit their pants when they saw me coming back up the trail. Same drill as with Prince, Vs Seeker abuse until Level 26, and Route 214. She reaches Level 33 soon enough, and it's back to Route 212 to give that another shot.

It would seem that my perseverance is rewarded, as I came across a male Kirlia. I caught him, and at last added the hero of my story.

New Capture: 25th Baam the Kirlia, Level 24. Next capture at Level 34.

So, back to Route 214 to train him up a bit. He has Magical Leaf, so handling the wild Rock/Ground Pokemon should be a breeze.

Enter the Graveler, who survived with at most two HP.

Selfdestruct. It's like SIU reached his divine troll hand into my game to ruin my existence.

I fucking legit screamed in rage and slammed the reset button. But, I can't in good conscience pretend that it didn't happen even though by any logical measure it should not have. So, anyway, my protagonist is dead and I can now never catch another new Pokemon. I didn't see him die, but yeah...he died. Or maybe he survived with one HP and then Rachel came out of the box and pushed him into a pothole to seal the deal.

Rest in Peace, 25th Baam the Kirlia.

So, I could just quit now and I'm tempted. But I won't. I still have the makings of a decent enough team with my three actives plus a couple reserves in the box. So let's roll with it and see what happens. I'm going to make it as far as I can.

Summary


Badges Obtained: Coal, Forest, Relic, Cobble
4/4 Evolutions Used
Most Recent Capture: Kirlia, Dead at Level 24. No new captures, ever.

Team

Androssi (Luxray) - 36
Yuri (Gyarados) - 36
Mexcess (Bronzong) - 36
Yuto (Zubat) - 22

Box

Hendo (Turtwig) - 6
Jinsung (Machop) - 21
Amigo (Geodude) - 23
Rachel (Bidoof) - 12
Prince (Marill) - 30
Miseng (Marill) - 33

Rest in Peace

25th Baam the Kirlia - You never had a chance to become badass. I hate Selfdestruct so much...

 

So my next Nuzlocke started on my stream. It features a starter named Lucky and a Bidoof named Menace that died. Also the game decided to give me an Azurill at the Ranch. Aka the worst thing at the ranch. I'm going to roll with it.

 

And I'm throwing in the towel at Celestic Town. Lost my Gyarados, without whom I pretty much have no way to complete the game. Long story short, I got arrogant and left it in against Cyrus' Sneasel after eating a Screech. Next turn, critical Ice Punch. Bleh. It was a good try, but I was more or less making myself continue after losing my Kirlia anyway. I want to take another shot at the Nuzlocke Squared, but it will probably be on another version. Sinnoh kicks my fucking ass in Nuzlocke games for some reason.