I suppose i had visions of Voldemort eventually attacking the hive with, i dunno, giants or dragons, only to be rebuffed by an ultralisk.

It's a zerg story, one would imagine eventual battle/ war-like scenarios inevitable.

 

There is a reason the term Zerg rush coined you know. I want to see huge armies of zerg to simply rush at the Voldemort.

BTW I wouldn't suprised to see that term going in to the dictionary at some point and go legit.

 

Well, this one seems decent:

Burnt
Author: lastcrazyhorn
A disabled Harry comes to Hogwarts story. Everyone expects him to be like his dad, but how can he be with such a different past? A Slytherin Harry takes on Hogwarts in an unusual way.
Rated: Fiction T - English - Horror/Fantasy - Harry P. & Severus S. - Chapters: 25 - Words: 82,717 - Reviews: 1,469 - Favs: 1,838 - Follows: 2,646 - Updated: 05-11-13 - Published: 03-29-11 - id: 6855183

I haven't gotten that far into it, but I'm about halfway through and it seems decent. It has a mentor!Snape though, although it seems that Moody is a father figure. Then again, I might only like it because I just played Katawa Shoujo.

EDIT: Actually, Snape is definitely a father figure and Moody more of a grandfather one. There's an unpleasant amount of Ron bashing and Dumbledore bashing, and (surprisingly) there's McGonagall bashing. They used the magical adoption stuff, which is kind of cliche. Something in the latest chapter could possibly make the story suck a bit.

 

Fixed the link for you to the actual fic. I'll take a read of it now and edit with my thoughts.

 

Note: I almost submitted this for review, but given this fic's flaws and DLP's standards, I decided to post it here instead, hence the very long opinion part. I'd have spoiled it, but the the BBCodes don't collapse the text here.

Title: Achieving Clarity
Author: PerfesserN
Rating: M
Genre: Romance,
Status: Complete
Library Category: Romance
Pairings: Harry/Hermione/Luna, Harry/Hermione/Luna/Padma, Ron/Lavender (subplot)
Summary:
Luna sees an opportunity to help Harry in his fight against Voldemort and takes the initiative. A Harry/Hermione/Luna story from Luna's POV. [Sabo: This is a lie, by the way.]
Link: FanFiction.Net (ff.net), ficwad link

First, this was one of my first fics, so I may well be nostalgic.

This story...is flawed. It has some genuinely good ideas, but it is undeniably flawed. Luna is a Seer in this fic, and while a lot of fics have that, in this one she claims that it's down to her "extrapolating from her observations" In other words, she still displays incredibly accurate prophetic powers and deductions...she just claims that it isn't magic. Which is complete BS.

This gives Luna the excuse to act as something of a Sue in this, taking Harry and Hermione to 'therapy sessions', and is the source of most of the divergence from canon, such as isolating Ron. I don't have a problem with that, but she does it in such a way that it's obvious she's the author's avatar, making very specific changes at points convenient to the plot, under the thin justification of being a Seer. Needless to say, she comes off as very manipulative, especially in her dealings with Padma.

She uses canon retcons, even, to claim that Ron has never beaten her in chess before the fic starts. I don't know how far other posters let fics overwrite canon, but I'm always irked by a fic undermining an element in canon, (in this case Ron's proficiency at chess), that's something already established by the fic's beginning. I'm fine with AUs -I'm submitting one- but I assume that up until the AU's beginning, everything happens as in canon.

Does that make it unreadable, or unworthy? Well, I don't think so. It averts a lot of fic cliches I've found irritating, making this refreshing by comparison. Harry does not have a super penis. Luna specifically corrects the American "ground floor = first floor" thing, though that's britpicking. When a line is drawn (of the 'if you stand by me' type, not the 'this far and no further' type), some people don't cross it, and aren't ridiculed for it. Near the end, Harry's self-sacrificing martyr obsession gets called out for the idiocy it is, and Luna almost destroys him with her manipulations.

And neither Dumbledore nor Snape are portrayed as being secretly evil all along or some tosh like that - Dumbledore's conceited, and Snape's, well, nasty but not evil. Maybe he is treated overly harshly, but his exit was a fairly good one. Even Narcissa Malfoy gets a balanced and fairly well-done characterisation. It also contains some decent writing overall, and the ending, well, it's not perfect but it's good enough.

In addition, if the A/Ns are to be believed, the author actually rolled two dice to find out which characters would die in the final battle - and promised to write it no matter the result.

So there you have it - a good fic with peaks of originality, but shot through with the major flaw of Luna's character. Sort of like some of Don Bluth's films, I suppose.

 

It's yet another story from LastCrazyHorn, featuring a disabled Harry who has some form of difficulty with standard magic, forms a bond with Severus, and endures teasing from Ron Weasley. Oh, and the Dursleys were abusive. Again.

There's no rape from teachers this time, which is a positive.

But his disability in this is daft.

Thoughts as I'm reading through it. Spoilers and such.

Spoiler

I've seen blind Harry done a few times. It's rarely done well, and he normally discovers he has mage sight or echolocation or something.
Deaf Harry is less common, but normally done better. Lot's of people have 'experienced' near deafness a few times, because walking around with earphones and loud music is more common than wearing a blindfold, but I'e not seen one finished yet.
Physically handicapped Harry is quite common. Not to this extent (three fingers on right hand, only one leg, large amounts of apparently disfiguring scarring), but it isn't rare at all.
This Harry is partly blind, near-deaf, and heavily maimed. It's like the Author just tossed a bunch of injuries onto Harry, and will continue to add them as the plot requires.

So Harry's in Slytherin, and gets away with beating the living crap out of people, because Snape feels sorry for him. One of the ugly Slytherin girls doesn't mesh quite as well with her peer group, so she's likely to fit in with Harry and his new best friend really quickly. Hermione will likely become part of the clique after Halloween. Maybe before, if his spooky people sense thing works.

Oh, and it appears his best friend also has a bad home life of some sort, although not as abusive as Harry's was.

Ron isn't just a prick to Harry, now him and the entirety of Gryffindor (bar Hermione because she has no people skills, and Neville because he's a useless lump, so we have more people to feel sorry for) are awfully horrid bullies. Snape shows how he was just a misunderstood angel in canon, and Harry deserves to be loved.

Great, now Harry can do a form of silent magic that hasn't been seen before, and all it took was a few uplifting sentences from Snape. Now he's crying, and apparently Dumbledore is not only out-of-touch, he's complicit and perhaps encouraging in the abuse/murder attempts.

Now controlled WANDLESS magic. Good golly, this Harry seems to have lots of powers! Isn't that a surprise? And Flitwick is a lovely man, whilst Minerva's a bitch.

More Neville interaction, and I'm giving up.

LCH is an acceptable writer, but only really writes one story - Harry is broken, Severus rescues him. Flitwick helps from the sidelines, Minerva is the small-time villain, and Dumbledore is the BBEG.

On top of which, I don't really care about his Harry. Yes, bad things have happened to him. But it was off-screen, and he's not really identifiable with. He's angry, and sad, and has a disadvantage that doesn't matter at all in the long run.

Read it if you really want a daddy!Snape style story, and have nothing better to do, or no other options to turn to.

2/5, as the writing isn't terrible, even if the rest of it is.

 

I am always incredibly worried about authors' personal life when they depict Snape as a good parental figure, even more when it's an habit. And in this case if you add the usual disability it really doesn't bode well for his state of mind...

 

You're right about Luna. She's a terrible character and human being.

I'm actually incredibly angry at her. She manipulates Harry at almost every turn. But what made me finally stop reading is that she takes "Fertility Potions" behind his back when she told him she was on the opposite. So, basically she gets herself and Padma (Luna obliviates her knowledge of taking the Fertility Potion) pregnant against Harry's wishes, whom stated very clearly he wanted to only have children after Voldemort was dead.

This wasn't an accidental pregnancy. This was a deliberate, intentional disregard for Harry's feelings and abuse of his trust. And she messes with Padma's mind just because.

No way can I give this more than 1/5.

 

Um... I haven't read the story, but I wouldn't give a story a 1/5 because one of the main characters was morally bankrupt (or just a sociopath). That is, unless the author tried post hoc rationalisation, or whatever.

 

Despite what Sabo said, I found plenty of clichés that are standard among Harry/multi fics.

As Sabo said, the entire fic I read is fueled by Luna's Mary Sue divinings, shrugged off as being a seer. It makes for very dull reading, and removes all conflict outside of Luna's reprehensible actions I mentioned in my previous post.

After about five sentences of explanations Harry shrugs off Luna's actions as acceptable.

Average at best writing.

Na, I'm going to stick with my 1/5.

 

I'll add that the only reason Padma was a part of the group in the first place was because of the other girls' conspiring. Harry had practically no say in it. Hell, they even collect his sperm -without his consent- to use in the ritual to bond her to them.


...but I still think that there's some good in it. For example, in Harry's duel with Voldemort,

Spoiler

Harry arrives by broom - specifically, he arrives at high speed directly above Voldemort, and spears him straight through with his broom handle.

I hadn't ever seen a duel use...that before, and though it has poor sentence structure (and laws of physics, though that can be put down to magic), I still saw it as creative.

 

Mildly entertaining, but utterly cringe-worthy.

What is portrayed in this fic' isn't the zerg - if it was, the Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts, and Hogsmeade would be completely infested by now, with all the students/wizards and witches either being Infested grunts or semi-intelligent drones.

The zerg are -literally- nature in all its fury. Overmind!Harry or not, instincts would press them to...well, shit.

It's the zerg.

Also, basing the entire underlying mechanics of the story on in-game statistics, such as Harry's 'psi' being 10/20 post-spell?

Utter bullshit.

 

HP/Skyrim Crossover:
The Unforeseen Variable by FractiousDay
As the Wizarding World crumbles around him, Harry Potter, unable to die a natural death, casts himself into Oblivion. Intercepted by a powerful magical artifact he journeys across the frozen land he has found himself in. But as he builds a new life in Mundus the Thalmor, Daedric Princes, and Empire all take notice of the Master of Death.

The blurb does a pretty good job explaining what this fic is all about. It starts off awkward in parts and generally rushed, but settles into a much better pace soon after that.

Characterisation so far is a bit weak, but I think it shows some signs of improvement. Harry, as a very old Master of Death from a dystopian wizarding world, doesn't really resemble the canon Harry we know. He comes across as very businesslike and unfeeling, at least most of the time. Also, I'm not sure what I think about the author's solution to the presence of Harry's brand of magic in Mundus. Decide for yourselves, I suppose.

Other than that, I'm always a fan of HP/Elder Scrolls crossovers if they're even half decent, and this fic has some cool moments. It's updated quite frequently, which is also nice.

The writing quality just isn't good enough yet for me to rate this too highly, and the beginning really hurts this fic. But altogether, it's worth checking out if - like me - you really want to read a Harry Potter/Skyrim crossover that the author actually updates regularly.

 

The moment he becomes Harald of the Merlins balls, the story ceases to be about Harry Potter.

So...no cookie for you.

 

Title: Fathers of the Year
Author: opalish
Pairing: None
Rating: K+
Words: 531
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4366245/1/Fathers-of-the-Year
Story Summary: Harry and Draco find ways to keep the hate alive. Albus Severus and Scorpius approve. NextGen oneshot crackfic ahoy!

Amusing little oneshot wherein Harry and Malfoy constantly try to one-up each other. I'm putting it here since it's too short for the Review Board proper.

 

I think most of us know opalish's five years old one-shot by now.

Very short, pure dialogue. All right, but nothing special.

3/5.

 

Well shit. Just ran a search and never saw it mentioned, tho'.

 

I didn't. Cheers for posting it.

 

Ehh...

It isn't bad.

But it looks like the sort of thing I have on my ideas document - summations of scenes, rather than the scenes themselves. Too short for anything, good or bad, to really rear its head.

 

Meh, it's as long as the idea deserves.