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Complete Firebird's Son by Darth Marrs - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Hw597, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. Saot

    Saot Groundskeeper

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    It's unlikely since I assume he'll end up with one from each House (especially since the Houses are more than just arbitrary groupings of children), and Hermione's already been fortold as one of them. I suppose Hermione could die before he hits four and he could need to replace her to actually form a Coven.
     
  2. PotterFan

    PotterFan High Inquisitor

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    What makes you say that? I haven't seen any in-story hints that suggest that.
    Harry's wives will be: Luna first, then Hermione....after that probably Justine and the final one hasn't been hinted at yet.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2013
  3. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Chief Warlock

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    Ouch, that's going to be an uncomfortable coven.
     
  4. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Neat chapter.

    I enjoyed both Harry and LV, and they had a nice section. Also good on LV for keeping to his exact wording in his promise but breaking it spectacularly all the same.

    Can't wait to see what's next.
     
  5. Saot

    Saot Groundskeeper

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    The houses have actual significance in the story, and as a general rule of fiction, when there's four groups of people and the protagonist has a person from three of them and needs a fourth person, that fourth person is going to come from the fourth group of people rather than a duplicate.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2013
  6. Dilla

    Dilla Seventh Year

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    Well. . .


    However, she could have thrown just thrown a random canon family name out there, but I originally took it as a Chekhov's Gun for a Dame trying to organize a bond.

    I definitely agree about the All House thing, though. I don't see Susan or any other Hufflepuff as a part of the Coven right now.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2013
  7. Rhys

    Rhys High Inquisitor

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    I don't think the all house thing would apply the way people are thinking it does. Luna is an Aether, not a raven-air-whatever, so he'd still be unbalanced with Luna as one of the four.
     
  8. PotterFan

    PotterFan High Inquisitor

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    This is just straight up BS. Sounds like some fanfiction.net reasoning.

    ---------- Post automerged at 11:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:56 PM ----------

    ....McGonagall was there because she was reporting Harry's decision to not have Snape fired. Hooch was there because she is Snape first wife and therefore basically in charge of him. Bones is there because she is the head of the DMLE, remember, Snape committed a crime, and Greengrass....well, I'm guessing she's the Dame of Snape's Coven. They are usually involved in these things.

    Just think about the clues you are given in the context of the Universe you are shown and its rules. Twisting things in your head just because that's how you'd like it to be is a pretty shitty way of predicting anything.
     
  9. Dilla

    Dilla Seventh Year

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    Eh, the Harry/Daphne fad passed awhile ago, I just over thought it.
     
  10. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

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    Voldemort fucked up by killing Charity. You can see why people follow him - he certainly came across as pretty reasonable with the story of his own rape and whatnot. If Voldemort hadn't killed Charity in front of Hary, he may have been even able to explain away killing Lily.

    Though, it's good that despite his charisma, Voldemort stays as ruthless as he's always been with the Cedric bomb.
     
  11. PrometheusII

    PrometheusII Second Year

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    New chapter is online, last one of this book, which is apparently finished now.

    Is it just me or was this last chapter really so unbelievably badly written?

    After so much interesting world-building etc this was soo weirdly rushed!

    It's really beginning to creep me out how he can spend chapters upon chapters on a) Quidditch Matches and b) sexual innuendo, sexual morality, sex talks, sex sex sex, and then the "real plot" is more or less just summarized.

    Bad, truly bad. So sad!
     
  12. theronin

    theronin Order Member

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    I would agree that the chapter was very disappointing. The last scene with a bunch of parents in commando outfits shooting up the assassin in the middle of a train station was particularly painful.
     
  13. Shouldabeenadog

    Shouldabeenadog Death Eater

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    It wasn't painful, so much as disappointing. The initial tension buildup was ok, but could have been stronger. The actual fight was greatly disappointing. the quidditch was infinetly better than the fight.
     
  14. Pirazy

    Pirazy Groundskeeper

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    yay, muggles to the rescue.
     
  15. Photon

    Photon Order Member

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    I have no idea how it will go, especially as it is mentioned both in and out of story that in longer run, in all previous situations like this Muggles completely failed.

    I am not sure is it going to be case of unreasonably successful protagonists or making it even worse dystopia with most/all parents of Muggleborn dead or something else. Maybe they are working together with Order to fulfil Lily's Plan?

    I liked this chapter but to add to typical DM fail potential (harem obsession etc) - Muggles vs Wizards war is something that never was done well. But there are certain signs that this may be the first one, starting from fact that wizards are able to defend quite efficiently against guns.

    And as I am sucker for Magical vs Muggles conflict I liked this chapter and I really hope that this story will not crash and burn. It certainly gets points for handling Voldemort and Weasleys.
     
  16. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I enjoyed Harry and Moody, and I liked Hermione being in danger, but... I wasn't as fond of the soldiers appearing with so little foreshadowing (perhaps it was there, but it felt sudden).

    The "end" felt sudden actually. I hadn't even realized we were building towards an ending and suddenly bam, there it is.

    I suppose it doesn't actually matter though, since we're still getting weekly updates. Like one big story, etc.
     
  17. DeathShade

    DeathShade Fourth Year

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    I really didn't like the soldier bit. Why did the wizard "sneak" with a knife out and no kind of invisibility charm. Why didn't he apparate if he couldn't shield both magic and bullets on the same time. Was the wizard retarded? The only magic he used was an unhelpful shield.
     
  18. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Chief Warlock

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    I've liked this story from the beginning. Is it perfect? Of course not. I still give it a very firm 4/5. There could be minor improvements, but that's just my tastes more than anything else.

    That said, the latter part of the final chapter was completely awful. There was all this build up to the Hermione/Justine attempted murder scene and it's solved by the badly cliche Muggles with guns, not to mention the cliche father is in some sort of special forces unit or whatever. Ugh. Where was the Fairbairn knife? That was about the only thing that was missing, well that and Kung Fu!Hermione.

    Really, really disappointed in this one.

    Then to top it all off Hermione is pissed at Harry for getting her into this mess? WTF? Didn't she just offer to bond with the guy a couple chapters ago? "I'm pissed at you, but get over here and give us some lovin', bitch!"

    It looked as if, to me, there was a lot of thought put into this story, whether you liked/disliked the direction, or the Quidditch, or whatever, but this chapter looked as if DM said, "Man, I'm bored with this shit. Just end this story already and move on to the next one."

    The first half looked as if it had been written earlier in the week and thought out pretty well, and then the latter half was written this morning, in thirty minutes... while holding a grilled cheese sandwich in one hand.

    Still, I'm not going to let it affect how I feel about the rest. It was a good story, and pretty darn good world-building.

    Still 4/5.
     
  19. Photon

    Photon Order Member

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    Also many reviewers on ff.net are irritated by this. But note that it is reaction directly after attempted murder, lack of any shock would be bad.
     
  20. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    I won't go into too much detail, but it's how Harry and his wives will combine to form Aether-Tron.

    I'll just say that the two who get the fists... thems is da lucky ones. :eek:

    Er, granted I read it right after I'd crawled out of bed, but I was under the impression those were actual military.

    The only two 'soldiers' who revealed their identities were Edwin Granger and Marcus Fletchley, both of whom were already said to have military backgrounds. I somehow doubt the others were all just members of their ad hoc muggleborn PTA.

    Of course, if it was just a bunch of parents, it will be rather cringe-worthy in retrospect. How would they expect to get away with even owning those weapons, let alone the fact they opened fire in a crowded and very public area? I guess we'll find out, next week... and possibly cringe.

    I'll go out on a limb and defend this as overconfidence in either the planning stage of the assassination, or once it turned to a full-on battle. After all, these wizards (perhaps more than any I've seen in HP fan fic) think themselves vastly and overwhelmingly superior to muggles.

    Shit, the pureblood ones feel that way about the muggleborn, so you know they think muggles are gnats to be swatted.

    And, in case anyone is wondering, 'Why a knife,when you could use magic?' I'm going to say it's so the muggles don't notice anything amiss, unlike if someone dropped dead for no reason or in a flash of eldritch light. The knife, in that case, is meant to be seen by bystanders.

    And, while this may be too generous toward this wizarding world in general, it could be that whoever is behind this attack might get in trouble with the magical government/other covens if their heavy-handed tactics were discovered... even if only because they should have been more discreet.

    Though, like I said, that's probably me being generous: These magicals are total bastards. There were hints a while back that someone in the magical world had noticed the muggleborn parents and their group, and that this was a bad thing.

    He avoided naming him Dan (arguably the more forgivable cliché), then ran full tilt into 'Special Ops Granger' territory, didn't he?

    Why do I feel that this was one of those lines that the author thinks is a throwaway line just to pad out the space, but ends up completely pissing off whole swathes of readers? It really does kind of cast Hermione in a bad light. Hopefully it was temporary stupidity and lack of gratitude brought on by the cumulative trauma of the last few days.

    If I'm being brutally honest, it seems like that sort of situation arises in a lot of DM's work. There's this big, sometimes intricate, buildup... and then a breathless rush to a hurried and disappointing finish.

    Somewhere in there, there's a metaphor about someone trying to avoid getting caught masturbating... but I can't be bothered to explore it any further.

    Anyway, even worse is when the end comes out of fucking nowhere, introducing a whole new character in a way that makes everyone go, "What the hell just happened and what am I reading?"

    That one was painful to read.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2013
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