...I was the coolest cat you've ever met. Never Forget ;_;

 

The rats fuck up everything Vira. Damn crithax

 

Dude. Bellsprout line > Paras everytime. Fuck those mushrooms, yo.

 

You have clearly never played Pokemon on shrooms, my good sir. Or taken far too many shrooms and "played" Pokemon in the Wal-Mart parking lot with snowball pokeballs.

 

It’s been so long since I’ve played Leaf Green that I can’t remember if there’s a healing spot on the S. S. Anne. Oh well, I can always Teleport back to the Pokemon Center.

My three Pokemon and I begin working, slaughtering any trainer that dares challenge me. I find a healing spot, thank god, because I’m going to need it. I take the right path first, battling a new hall of trainers and finding the dining hall. Aw yeah, just what I needed. Everyone’s complaining about something or other, and no one offers me food. I am displeased. I dig through the trash and find some berries. Is this what I’ve sunk to, a dumpster diver? Not even a dumpster diver, but a trash can diver. That’s even worse. At least I get a Great Ball out of it.

There’s not many trainers on the deck, but there’s so many halls in this place someone is bound to evolve. I go back the way I came, getting a heal job from the nice lady, and going to the left. Here I find more trainers, none particularly memorable except for this one guy who came up to me and said, “I like feisty kids like you!” omg I feel so dirty. D8

I’m just about to enter the Captain’s room, when Green strolls out. He and I do battle, and I gotta say, I’m disappointed. All his Pokemon were a cinch to beat. I thought I’d have more problems. After I beat his ass in, Cheddar the Paras evolves! Yes, thank you, I’ve only been waiting for three levels. Now I just need something better than Scratch and Bullet Seed and I’m all set.

The captain is a miserable fellow, huddled over a trash can. What the fuck, guy, you’re a captain, how are you getting seasick? I stiffly patted him on the back, then absconded with his Cut HM. If he ever notices it missing, I’ll blame it on Green.

I try Teleporting out but it won’t let me. Goddamn it, Oak! Now how am I supposed to find the secrets of the truck? I leave the old-fashioned way and watch the S. S. Anne float off. Welp, never seeing that ship again.

Yay, gym time. I thought about skipping Surge, but what the heck, I have a ground-type. I teach Sesc the Sandshrew cut and he’ll be my witness for this epic smack-down. I get the doors unlocked on the first try and proceeded to murder the gym trainers, leaving Surge.

He sends out his Pikachu and I send in Stojil the Kadabra. Stojil Psybeams and it dies. Surges sends out a Voltorb. Stojil Psybeams and it dies. This is too easy. Unnerved, I switch to Drome the Diglett for his Raichu. I use Growl to be on the safe side while he Double Teams. Ugh, accuracy moves, fuuuuck that. Cheddar uses Magnitude and gets it into yellow. Raichu Quick Attacks, but I’m still in green. One more Magnitude and goodbye Raichu!

With my Thunder Badge at my breast, I party all night long. The next day, some scientist guy urges me to go to Route 2 where a present will be waiting for me. It’s suspicious as fuck and I eye him as I make my escape back to Cerulean. Fuck Flash, who needs it. I exchange my bike voucher for an actual bicycle and I stuff it in my backpack. It fits perfectly.

I go east, avoiding trainers when I can. I get to the Pokemon Center, heal up, now it’s time for new Pokemon! I go into the grass. Please be a Voltorb, please be a Voltorb-

VOLTORB YAY.

Cheddar paralyzes the fucker with Stun Spore and I lob a Poke Ball at it. It accepts being my slave gratefully. I name it Xion, as fitting for a strange, self-aware thing.

Now it’s time to train. Xion will be a force of nature when I’m done with him.

Current Team
Cheddar the Parasect (lvl25).
Stojil the Kadabra (lvl25).
Drome the Diglett (lvl25).
Xion the Voltorb (lvl16).

Box
Kang the Bellsprout (lvl13).
Sesc the Sandshrew (lvl13).

Rest in Peace
Font the Metapod (lvl7). I was stupid, I’m sorry.
Decoy the Charmander (lvl13). Goddamn it, Rock Tomb.
Klackerz the Rattata (lvl12). That fucking Onix.
Ash the Nidorina (lvl20). Starmie paid for what it did to you.
Kalas the Pidgeotto (lvl21). Too bad.
Lucky the Meowth (lvl10). You were the unluckiest cat I’ve ever met.

 

YOU STILL HAVEN'T EDITED IT TO COOLEST CAT VIRA >< I'M NAMING YOU AFTER A PONYTA IN MY NEXT NUZLOCKE!

 

Fuck, where did I leave off? Oh right, Xion. It didn’t go well. Sonicboom was a great attack but those fucking Spearow, man. Their Fury Attacks are like Kryptonite and my Voltorb stayed in too long, so let’s put this unfortunate event behind us.

My three musketeers and I wallop the trainers I skipped. Drome the Diglett evolves into Drome the Dugtrio, and <heavenly choir>Cheddar the Parasect learns Spore!</heavenly choir> Cheer, you know you want to.

In Rock Tunnel, I find a Geodude who I name Andro, and I stuff him in the box. I hate Geodude (no offense Andro.) It’s dark in Rock Tunnel, but I haven’t used Flash in this cave in years. Why, I could wander this cave with my eyes closed, which I’m sort of doing! Haa Haa Hee Hee Hoo Hoo.

Yeah, I get lost immediately. It’s been a while, okay?

After walking into walls for ten minutes, I give up and go get Flash. It’s a long journey and the only thing I got out of it was this Moon Stone. I guess I could put it on my mantelpiece with my other Moon Stone. I use Teleport and warp back to the Pokemon Center in front of Rock Tunnel. This is the only reason I keep this move around. Okay, take two! Trainers aren’t difficult, but I have to be careful of all these Geodude / Graveler, you never know when they’ll Self-Destruct. Near the end of the cave I battle a Hiker I remember having a Graveler. I send in Drome the Dugtrio because my Parasect is too precious to me. I’m not sacrificing Drome, though, not this speedy motherfucker. Drome uses Dig and Graveler, being a charming bastard, uses Magnitude 7.

My thoughts:

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK-

Drome survives by 7HP but only gets Graveler in yellow. I’m able to finish it off with my own Magnitude, but remember this lesson, fellow Nuzlockers! Never use Dig against a Pokemon with Magnitude or Earthquake. This could have gone poorly.

Yay, cave over, time for Lavender Town. Wait, Lavender Town? Fuck no, I’m going to Celadon and getting some REAL Pokemon.

But first I stop in the grass because there are trainers everywhere and Cut is useful. I find a female Vulpix. What a cute little lady. I use Sesc the Sandshrew to get her HP down because there’s no way my grass/bug-type is going near this Pokemon. I catch her and name her Tinn. She doesn’t have a fire attack, I guess Ember was erased, and the next fire attack she learns is at level 29. How thoughtful of the game.

I stop in the route before Celadon, just cause, and find a Rattata, which I kill. Good thing I found that Vulpix or I would have been stomping mad right now.

First thing’s first. I sneak into an apartment building by the back and door and sneak up the staircase. Some loser lives on the roof and while he’s admiring his chalkboard, I steal an Eevee he left on a desk. I name this Eevee, Rapscallion! -Or would have, but it’s too long. Therefore, he’s Rapscall instead.

Celadon is the best city, I swear guys. Sure, it has its gang problems, but look at this shopping center! Best city or best city? I go on a shopping spree, picking up a couple of Elemental Stones, and visit the rooftop. I make a deal with a little girl and sneak her drinks in exchange for three useless TMs. I remember in generation one, she gave me Ice Beam. Oh well.

With no further ado, I evolve my Eevee into a Vaporeon. I might have gone Jolteon if I didn’t have one in my Heart-Gold, but my god, Vaporeon has a lot of HP. Double the amount my Vulpix has.

Anyways, training. It’s all very boring and all you need to know is that no one died during it. I taught Tinn the Vulpix Dig just to make her semi-useful, because damn this Vulpix, I think I want to return her for a Growlithe. I teach my Vaporeon Water Pulse because it know no water moves, and I think he missed Aurora Beam too. I also stop at Saffron, but the road’s closed! I try to give the guard a Fresh Water, but he’s not going for it. Fuck, I can’t remember, I think I need a different item in this gen. This suuuuucks.

I wander into the casino. People are giving me coins left and right. Come on guys, I’m obviously underage, don’t give me a pre-teen gambling problem. Some weirdo’s looking at a poster at the back, and I investigate. “What’cha doing?” I ask in all my youthful innocence, and the guy spazzes out and challenges me to a battle. What the fuck, I was only asking a question. The casino people don’t even blink as my fire fox kills his Pokemon. The guy says something about warning his boss, rushes at a wall, and disappears.

I think I just saw a ghost guys, I’m scared. ;_;

Oh, there’s a button under the poster, and it reveals a staircase, leading downwards into darkness! How can I refuse?

There’s a lot of Rockets in this place, I need to do some tidying. As I beat Rocket people, I’m slipping and sliding on this floor, and damn are these slide mechanics better than in gen 4. The faster the slide, the better, ty.

I make it to the boss’s room and he reveals himself as the gym leader of Viridian City, Giovanni! *gasp* *shock*

I can’t remember his Pokemon, does he have a Persian? I don’t know, but Rapscall’s up first. He Water Pulses the Onix and Rhyhorn away, leaving a Kangaskhan. Ah, shit. I stay in and use Growl, while Kangaskhan Mega Punches me nearly into yellow. Oh god, ow. I keep up the growling in between healing, but damn this Pokemon. Water Pulse does nothing, so I switch into Cheddar. Spore is useful here, and I proceed to Bullet Seed until it dies.

Giovanni absconds, leaving behind a Sliph Scope. Finder’s Keepers, amirite?

Alright, Lavender Town, Pokemon Tower, let’s go.

Green challenges me, but he’s swept aside with a wave of my hand. You know, his Wartortle always uses Withdraw, and it’s so stupid, it’s a waste on Green’s team. Though why am I surprised that Green doesn’t know how to battle?

On the third floor, I find a wild level 15 Gastly. I think this is the lowest-levelled Gastly the game could find me. I name her Banner, and box her because I don’t need another fragile speedster. All these ghost trainers mean that I can’t use Tinn against them, and she’s the one who needs experience. Oh well.

Within fifteen minutes, everyone’s dead. Welp, that was easy.

At the staircase to the top floor, a ghostly image emerges.

“Get out,” it hisses.

“Fuck no,” I say, and my Vaporeon kills it in two Water Pulses.

I skip up to the top floor. Regular trainers, thank you. Tinn the Vulpix takes care of the first, and in the second battle, she takes down a Pokemon when-

‘Vulpix grew to level 29!

Vulpix wants to learn Flamethrower? Y/ N?’

Yessssss, finally.

The last battle contains only ashes and scorch marks where my opponent and his Pokemon once stood. Victory is mine. I use my Fire Stone on Tinn, and she evolves into a gorgeous and deadly Ninetales.

Fuji tottles back to his house and gives me the PokeFlute. Later, as I’m preparing for my trek to Fuchsia, an old lady gives me some Tea, which I pour onto one of the Saffron City guards, thereby sneaking into the city. I’m only there to get Psychic, and while I consider going to the fighting gym and getting a fighting type, I don’t think my Pokemon are high-levelled enough.

Now, I stand before a Snorlax west of Celadon. My team is godly, everything is going well.

Things are looking up.

Current Team
Cheddar the Parasect (lvl31).
Stojil the Kadabra (lvl31).
Drome the Dugtrio (lvl31).
Tinn the Ninetales (lvl29).
Rapscall the Vaporeon (lvl30).

Box
Kang the Bellsprout (lvl13).
Sesc the Sandshrew (lvl13).
Andro the Geodude (lvl13).
Banner the Gastly (lvl15).

Rest in Peace
Font the Metapod (lvl7). I was stupid, I’m sorry.
Decoy the Charmander (lvl13). Goddamn it, Rock Tomb.
Klackerz the Rattata (lvl12). That fucking Onix.
Ash the Nidorina (lvl20). Starmie paid for what it did to you.
Kalas the Pidgeotto (lvl21). Too bad.
Lucky the Meowth (lvl10). You were the unluckiest coolest cat I’ve ever met.
Xion the Voltorb (lvl16). We could have avoided this.

 

You just need to get the tea from that old lady in Celadon to get past the Saffron gate guards.

 

Famous last words...

 

So yeah. Streaming a Yellow Nuzlocke on my stream.

So far the only casualty is ChaosGuy the Pikachu. Also just beat Surge like he was a redheaded stepchild with Proudboar the Dugtrio.

EDIT: And game complete.

Pokemon Yellow:
Naming theme: DLPeeps

ChaosGuy - Pikachu - Level 20 - Mankey is a critwhore apparently. Jesus'd.
ChaosGuy - Pikachu - Level 24 - One-shot by Starmie. Dead for realsies this time.
Ashaya - Charizard - Level 38 - Venomoth was too much.
Proudboar - Dugtrio - Level 41 - Venomoth was too much.
xion - Nidoking - Level 40 - Venomoth was too much.
Mindless - Marowak - Level 52 - Geodude decided to Explode.
Oz - Snorlax - Level 60 - Critical Raticate.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE WON! CELEBRATE WITH THOSE WHO HAVE SURVIVED!

Vira - Zapdos - Level 66 - Thundershock and Thunder.
Seratin - Blastoise - Level 66 - Ice Beam and Surf all day.
Syaoran - Primeape - Level 59 - You made that Jynx submit.
MattSilver - Venusaur - Level 65 - Made Lorelei your bitch.
Vash - Kadabra - Level 67 - You're a Gen 1 Psychic. You want a cookie?

 

Ah, Snorlax, what a magnificent creature you are.

I use the PokeFlute and wake said creature up, only to flee. I don’t want a Snorlax, I can find better Pokemon elsewhere. I continue ahead, exiting the check point only to find myself in a maze of bikers. God fucking dammit. Out of the way people, I don’t have time for your battling shenanigans right now. I need more teammates and I know just where to get them. I make a stop in the grass at the bike path and pick up a Doduo, Poytin.

I arrive in Fuchsia City without battling a single person, a miraculous concept. I heal, get some stuff at the mart, and there it is, the Safari Zone. Standard Nuzlocke rules apply, I can catch any Pokemon I want but I’ll be locked in as soon as I throw a ball. So here’s hoping.

For the first run through, I pick up every item I can find, ending in HM03 at the end. I looked at the Pokemon available thanks to Serebii, and there’s only one Pokemon I want here. With my errands out of the way, it’s time to fish! Good Rod gogogogo.

So many Poliwag and Goldeen, but where are all the Dratini? I demand a Dratini. A Dratini, however, doesn’t come up, and I start to suspect the Good Rod won’t due in this instance. Arghhhh, fine. I leave the Safari Zone and take a detour to the grass before the bike lane. I wonder what dull as shit Pokemon I’ll find here. Oh, it’s a Fearow. Fine, I’ll take you, name him Eido, and then it’s time to take the long road back to Celadon. You know, the bike mechanics of going uphill is really good, I can feel the weight behind the bike, pushing it down. Anyways, I somehow get pass the mass of bikers and get HM02 from the house above the bike path. Then it’s to the Pokemon Center! I have two potential flying-types, Poytin and Eido, and I choose Poytin because flying on a wingless bird is cooler.

I fly to Vermillion, and kick the Snorlax into the water. The Super Rod is waiting for me, just south of here. After acquiring it, it’s back to the Safari Zone and to the water.

Goldeen, Goldeen, Dratini! What a cute little thing. I throw a ball, it breaks out. I throw a ball, it breaks out and flees. FUCK.

All that work for nothing. Fine, fuck you, I can find better Pokemon.

Time! For! Training!

I hate these bikes and their goddamn Koffing and Machop. For one battle, I send out Drome the Dugtrio to fuck over a Machop. I use Dig, Machop misses, I hit and almost kill it, only for the Machop to Reversal, and KILLS DROME, WTF. Fuck these fighting-types. I’m not too upset about it, though, because I’ve never been the biggest fan of Dugtrio. Still, I lay my loyal Pokemon to its rest and shed a single tear.

My Parasect has trouble against poison-types and it makes me sad. If only I had better movesets, but no, I’m stuck with Scratch and Bullet Seed. This will not do. I need a better move… TO THE CELADON GYM!

*Insert Batman Scene Change Card Here*

Why is there a guy peeking into the gym? 911, there’s a weirdo bothering the probably underage gym girls, uh huh, yeah I’ll hold.

This gym smells like ass, I fucking hate perfume, someone get me the gym leader. Oh hey Erika, you’re sending out a grass-type? GO TINN. FLAMETHROWER! FLAMETHROWER! FLAMETHROWER! Okay, done, bye bye.

Yes, I did kill each of her Pokemon with one Flamethrower, what of it?

Giga Drain has 60 base power and five power points in this gen, this is insulting. I teach it to my Parasect anyways because I’m a nice person. I go to the docks to get some water-type people, only to find sucky electric and flying-type nerds. This is pathetic. I kill them anyways.

I think my narrative is degenerating somewhat. OH WELL.

I use the Super Rod and pick up an emergency water-type, a Krabby I name Minion.

I have a good idea of what my next Pokemon should be, but I need Surf, sooooo-

My Pokemon are severely under-levelled but whatever, I have a Kadabra. I enter Koga’s gym and challenge him to a battle. He’s so disappointing, he doesn’t even have a Venomoth, what it this. Stojil Psychics his Pokemon to death, leaving me with a badge and new destinations to explore.

First off, I fly to the Pokemon Center outside of Rock Tunnel and Surf south to the Power Plant. I walk back and forth before a level 22 Magnamite pops up. Just what I wanted! Spore, then Scratch, then ball. Hello, Zev, welcome to the team. I immediately repel and begin picking up items. Ugh, they’re everywhere, I’m going to be here forever. Suddenly, my screen flashes and a battle pops up. What the fuck, I have repel- LEVEL 34 MAGNETON. Wait, I could have used Repel and caught this bad boy instead of my sucky Magnamite? ARGH.

I run away and sulk my way through another hallway. I touch an item only for it to be an Electrode! Fuckfuckfuck. Okay, no need to panic, I’ll just run away- ESCAPE FAILED. Electrode uses Self-Destruct. As the fireball erupts, I see my poor Parasect in the way of the blast.

I reach out for her. “Cheddar, noooooooo!” I scream in slow motion.

Cheddar the Parasect is consumed, burning up, and I fall to my knees.

Fuck. This. Place.

I leave, not bothering to get the rest of the items, not with this Electrode infestation. I Fly to Pallet Town and Surf south, picking up Sacro the Tangela on the way. When I reach Cinnabar, I hand the Old Amber over to a scientist. “Give me something good,” I say. The scientist sees murder in my eyes and complies. After waiting for five minutes, he gives me an Aerodactyl and begs me to leave the premises. I name my new flying-type Matt.

I’m going to kill everything.

Current Team
Stojil the Kadabra (lvl36).
Tinn the Ninetales (lvl35).
Rapscall the Vaporeon (lvl35).
Zev the Magnamite (lvl22).
Matt the Aerodactyl (lvl5).

Box
Kang the Bellsprout (lvl13).
Sesc the Sandshrew (lvl13).
Andro the Geodude (lvl13).
Banner the Gastly (lvl15).
Poytin the Doduo (lvl26).
Eido the Fearow (lvl22).
Minion the Krabby (lvl17).
Sacro the Tangela (lvl24).

Rest in Peace
Font the Metapod (lvl7). I was stupid, I’m sorry.
Decoy the Charmander (lvl13). Goddamn it, Rock Tomb.
Klackerz the Rattata (lvl12). That fucking Onix.
Ash the Nidorina (lvl20). Starmie paid for what it did to you.
Kalas the Pidgeotto (lvl21). Too bad.
Lucky the Meowth (lvl10). You were the unluckiest coolest cat I’ve ever met.
Xion the Voltorb (lvl16). We could have avoided this.
Drome the Dugtrio (lvl33). Reversal is the worst.
Cheddar the Parasect (lvl34). No Electrode will escape my fury.

 

Update: training went well, no deaths. Well, except for Klael the Hitmonchan, who died to a Goldeen in a preventable accident.

I go to Saffron and pay a visit to the grand Sliph Co., only to find the building invested with Rockets. I clear three floors before becoming board, and I skip to Green. He’s not much of a problem, aside from his Blastoise, which did nearly half to my Magneton with a Water Gun. I beat it though. Some guy gives me a Lapras, which I name Raine. She shall be my replacement water-type if something horrible happens to my Vaporeon.

Sabrina’s gym is dumb, and her room doesn’t contain a warp tile back to the entrance. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Matt the Aerodactyl beats all her Pokemon with Fly, and that’s that. Next is Cinnabar. I proceed to the Cinnabar Mansion. It’s invested with high-level Raticate, but I leave with the TMs to Blizzard and Solar Beam, and a Secret Key. Ooooh.

The Secret Key opens the door to the Cinnabar Gym, which is a lame prize. I empty it out anyways and Rapscallion the Vaporeon murders Blaine with a couple of Surfs. As soon as I step out from the gym, Bill grabs me. KIDNAPPER! SOMEONE CALL 911. No one does, however, and I’m blackmailed into finding some stuff for Bill’s mad scientist friend. All the islands are dull with dull Pokemon, but I need a sixth teammate. I go to Two Island and find a Weepinbell.

It’s a girl, to my dismay, and I can’t think of a girl DLP name. Fuck, I knew this would happen eventually. BUT WAIT! I forgot about Shezza! Ah, that was a close one. At least I don't have to train her.

Current Team
Stojil the Kadabra (lvl40).
Tinn the Ninetales (lvl39).
Rapscall the Vaporeon (lvl40).
Zev the Magnamite (lvl39).
Matt the Aerodactyl (lvl39).
Shezza the Weepinbell (lvl39).

Box
Kang the Bellsprout (lvl13).
Sesc the Sandshrew (lvl13).
Andro the Geodude (lvl13).
Banner the Gastly (lvl15).
Poytin the Doduo (lvl26).
Eido the Fearow (lvl22).
Minion the Krabby (lvl17).
Sacro the Tangela (lvl24).
Raine the Lapras (lvl25).

Rest in Peace
Font the Metapod (lvl7). I was stupid, I’m sorry.
Decoy the Charmander (lvl13). Goddamn it, Rock Tomb.
Klackerz the Rattata (lvl12). That fucking Onix.
Ash the Nidorina (lvl20). Starmie paid for what it did to you.
Kalas the Pidgeotto (lvl21). Too bad.
Lucky the Meowth (lvl10). You were the unluckiest coolest cat I’ve ever met.
Xion the Voltorb (lvl16). We could have avoided this.
Drome the Dugtrio (lvl33). Reversal is the worst.
Cheddar the Parasect (lvl34). No Electrode will escape my fury.
Klael the Hitmonchan (lvl25). I’m dumb. -.-

 

Do you guys start out with a nuzlocke when you buy a new game or do you play it through without any extra rules first?

 

I play the game without extra rules first. I only do Nuzlocke when I'm bored with regular game play.

 

Blind Nuzlockes are actually so good though. Going in with minimal spoilers is heart pounding.

 

I go in blind for hacks and I plan to go in blind for X/Y

 

Have any of you guys tried the Zeta or Omicron rom hacks? It forces Nuzlocke apparently. I'm downloading it now.

 

didn't know these were out, could you link a wiki or home page that has all the basics of game structure?

 

http://www.reddit.com/r/pokemonzetaomicron/comments/1mbfh9/modpost_zetaomicron_beta_v100/

In a subreddit, apparently

 

DID SOMEBODY SAY POKEMON X NUZLOCKE RUN? I CERTAINLY DID.

Yes I'm doing Pokemon X for Nuzlocke entertainment in my first playthrough of it. I don't know any of the gym leaders, only knew like twenty Pokemon in this gen going in, so I don't know what to expect. I first did this sorta blind run Nuzlocke for Pokemon White, and that was literally my favourite Pokemon gaming experience ever. For Black 2 run it was painful but had a happy ending involving superlevelling a Ferrothorn and Zoaroak to sweep the E4 and Champion. Good times. The latter's in this thread with my Platinum run, as told in the moniker of The Traveller. This time there's no The Traveller.

SPOILERS BELOW. If y'all want me to tag them I will but for now I'm just gonna go wild as is. Okay? Okay.

~ BIG THUNDER POKEMON X NUZLOCKE RUN ~
​

Let us clear air. This is not a The Traveller tale with pansy whining and obnoxious third person speak. This is the BIG THUNDER X RUN. BIG THUNDER is a legend amongst legendary men of yesteryear and still to come. To know of BIG THUNDER is to know taste of fine cognac chilled by cubes of iced virgin blood. BIG THUNDER is not just name, it is mantle, responsibility, great Nordic beard. Is not obnoxious when third person speak is with the words BIG THUNDER, no. Is earned. Listen closely Little Thunders, Dear Girl Thunders, and my heir MORNING THUNDER. This is my story speaking time.

Warlock approach BIG THUNDER other day. There to appease BT. BT dislike six thing most in world, one of which the French. BT like nine and a half thing most in world, one of which animal cruelty for blood sport purposes. Warlock know these things. Says to BT he can transport BT to Pokemon world. Warlock speaking continues, say that the region BT can transport to is inspired by France. Is there for taking, ready to be razed by blood sport animal. BT very much like these things, does demand it done. When BT speak, Warlock nod. Ritual needs virgin sacrifice; BT find young girl in nearest village and cut her heart out with teeth. Girl turn out to be Warlock's younger sister. BT and Warlock laugh it off like real men. Ritual underway by lunchtime. BT travel to dirty France-inspired Pokemon region. BT ready for pillage and such.

BT in Vaniville Town. Foul smell of baguette wake him. Trapped in inferior beardless body, will work on beard. Mother of this body speak to BT, BT tell her to shut her wenchly parts. BT leave house, two Dear Girl Thunders waiting outside. As should be. But bah, BT have no chance performing for week straight without beard, so have to settle for five days with those two. DG's leave for next town over before the ravishing, say Pokemon there waiting for BT. BT follow. Baguette stench intensify as BT travel north.

BT in Aquacorde Town. Cafes everywhere; many-headed hydra of dirty French propaganda. BT hope not bad sign for more thing to come. BT meet two DG's and two Little Thunder men. BT reluctantly learn names: Serena (Promising specimen, easily conquered), Shauna (Brainwashed by cafe machine, but hiding kinky side maybe), Trevor (Will never grow beard, no use), and Tierno (Useless fat LT, BT will cut him open and live inside come harsh winter). Tierno give over starter Pokemon without warring, so not all bad maybe.

BT choose noble LT Froakie. Frog knight of old in new form much like BT, BT can tell. No Frank in utterance, BT relieved. Named Glenn in honour of Chrono Trigger frog knight of old. Yes, BT will accept and leave fools behind to start the razing. Before he can, Shauna come willingly. Yes, BT will allow it if she shower. Shauna challenge BT to Pokemon battle, her Fennekin against Glenn. Glenn destroy Fennekin with Bubble. BT offer no consolation, for he not beardless LT on inside like he seem outside. BT press on.

BT capture LT Pidgey on Route 2. Old soul, bearded soul. Is named Errol. Glenn and Errol decimate trainers and wild Francophile Pokemon. Capture Pansage in Santalune Forest, is named Caesar for delicious salad with tiny fried bread marvel cubes. No need for him. Glenn Thunder and Errol Thunder help with burning of forest. Bidoof on Route 3 killed by Errol beard power. BT see no loss. BT arrive at Santalune City, more cafes. Heads east as respite. Azurill DGT on Route 22 captured, named Siren for her annoying wailing. Is irony, see. BT invent irony once, somebody else claim they did it first. BT disembowel that person. Is ironic.

BT storm first gym in Santalune. Siren, Caesar useless. Glenn and Errol not. Bug Pokemon every which way. Bug go splat under BT boot. Gym Leader Viola a worthy DGT for later enjoyment. Has sister too. BT will have them both. For now, however, she is to be battled. Glenn rip Surskit legs off. Errol pluck both Vivilon wing. BT has Bug Badge. BT celebrate by acquiring trophy from local boutique. Trophy is a new hat. BT likes his new hat.

BT continue on. Sarissa the DGT Flabebe caught on Route 4. Is fairy type with flower, remind BT of the least crazy Summer Lady he know. Sarissa dainty, but strong. Fairy type have power. BT will use that power. Glenn evolve into Frogadier on Route 4. BT approve. Route 4 soon left in dust, Luminose City ahead.

BT hate Luminose City. Is central hub for filth. Beacon lighting up the sky like Eiffel but less impressive. Eiffel smaller than average BT penis. Kalos impostor smaller Eiffel make BT laugh until sides hurt. What DGT would find pleasure in that? BT would not want to meet such woman. BT led to lab in Luminose City owned by Sycamore. Sycamore dress well enough to forget he has no beard. BT will allow it if he is on BT side. BT laugh at that joke; they are all on my side and my side only. Other option disembowelment. BT laugh more. BT finding bright side of horrible impostor French life.

BT defeat Scyamore in battle, Scyamore offer another starter Pokemon from Kanto region. BT pick Charmander, named it Red Thunder after old legend who freeze to death on mountain. BT laugh again. Is irony again, see. Old legend is beardless and cannot survive winter, and this Charmander is of that stock. No, BT not desperate enough to use that. Glenn, Errol and Sarissa strong. BT take them to local restaurant with battles before BT leave Santalune. BT let them kill owners. Errol evolve into Pidgeotto. BT let them kill patrons to celebrate. For more celebration, BT let them kill chefs only after chefs cook owner and patron corpses. BT having fun. Good meal. BT share with Pokemon. BT leave rest of city intact, for later razing. BT have to discover Mega Evolution secret first.

BT head west to next town to learn secret. Route 5 BT find DGT Bunnelby and capture it. Named Lola Bunny. No use at this time for BT. Into box with Caesar, Siren, and pitiful Red Thunder. On Route 5 BT have trouble with horde of Scraggys. Trouble for but two second. BT shit on their corpses afterwards. Tierno and Trevor appear on Route 5, Tierno offer battle. Sarissa squash Corphish, BT consider eating Tierno for dessert. BT does not for now. BT get to next town. Shauna appear, but BT have no time to explore her potential kinks. BT busy with Mega Evolution. Mega Evolution secret can help BT have more fun. Beard growing too slow for liking.

BT face first loss on Route 6. Sarissa evolve into a Floette. Stronger now, strong as her knights. Unstoppable trio. Then PokeFan Family Jan and Erin appear for battle. BT acquiesce. Double battle. Furfrou DGT and Frufrou LT, they use. Glenn and Sarissa, BT use. Sarissa's first battle as Floette. Sarissa hit with critical Headbutt. Dies in puddle of blood. Errol come in, he and Glenn tear Furfrou apart. BT bury Sarissa in dirt. Burn Furfrou corpse and PokeFan Family with them. Does not eat. Out of respect.

First blood for BT and team. Knights Glenn and Errol lost their Lady. The French have taken from BT once more. But loss to BT is fly on arm. Squash it. Find fly spray and swatter. Be ready for next fly. Kill before landing. BT will move on now to find Mega Evolution secret. BT have work to do.

- - - -o

Bam. Current Team: Glenn the Frogadier, Errol the Pidgeotto. Damn. Charmander time?! I didn't want to use it 'cause it felt a bit, I dunno, easy to use two starters. And I wanted to focus on more sixth gen Pokemon and stuff, Errol aside. But then again, I am playing X, so duh, MegaCharizard X has to be a thing for BIG THUNDER.

Anyways, that's round one of THE BIG THUNDER X RUN. Hope you enjoyed! More to come!