You're thinking too much.

 

It's been a few weeks since I read this and the fic is still pinging at my mind which usually means something.

Honestly I was shocked it wasn't here. I've hunted, more thoroughly this time, though it still might be hiding somewhere. The site is huge after all.

Since I almost exclusively read stories of 100k words or more I rarely get to rec anything but here it is. Also, I ship pretty hard Harry/Hermione so I might be a tad biased.

Harry Potter and the Witch Queen
by TimeLoopedPowerGamer
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8823447/
Words: 123,930

Harry never beat Voldemort, only barely managing a stalemate. Years later, Harry falls victim to a Dark ritual that sends him back in time to when he was 11. After Dumbledore discovers Harry's abuse by the Dursleys, things spiral out of control fast. His magical abilities damaged by the trip back, Harry's only hope is the Witch Queen herself, now known merely as Hermione Granger.

The title is pretty boring and the summary, as it stands, even more so. That is where 99% of my criticism for this fic ends.

A thirty year old Harry gets captured by his one-time best friend. Voldemort has all but won and Hermione Granger has become as Dark as he is. So she decides to send Harry back and fix it all with a ghastly ritual. The summary says it all but somehow dissuades people from reading. I know I skipped over this fic at least three times before I finally gave it a shot.

The ideas the fic comes up with are astounding. Particularly in regards to Hermione's self magic, and the elves, along with several other innovative ideas that I had never seen before, and all of it is tinged with this creepy thought of just how close young Hermione is to becoming the Witch Queen she was in the future. Honestly, I thought it was awesome.

The writing is superb. Even if you don't like Hermione, the writing is good enough that its worth a read, and Harry's character is well defined. Little errors every now and then but I don't recall many. Also, no Badass!Harry here. Its almost entirely character development, as they are in their first year.

If you've got nothing better to do, give it a read. I honestly have no idea how such a good story has skipped even the almost recommended for so long.

 

Magical Core, Random Abuse, and Hermione is so randomly god tier that even Joe would be proud.

What? How is this remotely logical? It might not be Badass!Harry but it is GodTier!Hermione.

 

And magical cores mean I won't read it. Sorry but no.

 

It's just... really bad. I'm a sucker for time travel stories but the writing is janky and unrealistic, the characters are godfuckingawful, and Hermione is literally bisexual wanking material.

Spoiler

It was almost offensive how hilariously bad the author tried to shoehorn in Ginny and Hermione's "relationship." Yeah, Ginny is some weird fucked up cat monster who has lesbian sex with a Hermione Granger. But can't forget that Granger, almighty witch queen that she is, is only the way she is because she lost the love of her life, who was, of course, the manliest of men, Neville Longbottom. It comes across as inclusion ending up more offensive by virtue of that inclusion.

It's just... incredibly bad. Got halfway through the second chapter and just quit.

 

Pretty sure that was meant to be played for the laughs.

I suppose its in bad taste to defend it though instead of letting it stand for itself. I guess all I can say is I enjoyed it, and sorry for wasting your time if you really find it that bad.

Sidenote: Magical cores have never bugged me though I realize most on this site seem to hate them more than Ginny.

 

The joke is that the author is not joking. Anyways, don't worry about wasting anyone's time. You enjoyed it and someone else will, and that is the point of the thread. I even got enjoyment posting on it, but mostly since I think it is just terrible instead of guilty pleasure.

Sidenote: Magical Cores are not what bugs me, it is just an early warning that the author is going to introduce other nonsense... that the author did.

 

Personally I see magical cores just as another world building device; you can use them well, but they're often just a crutch for why Harry is so superspecialawesome. I've got no problem with the basic concept however.

That said, the story was, well, um, yeah. We all have our own pleasures which don't translate well, so I'm not judging too harshly.

 

I enjoyed Witch Queen, but yeah, definitely something that falls more on the Guilty end of Guilty Pleasure. The writing is definitely readable so there's that.

 

They're more an anti-world building device.

Don't want to figure out how wizard duels work in an interesting way, or what factors contribute to the successful casting of a spell in such a way that two people who manage to cast the same spell can have different results? They all have magical cores and the person with the bigger magical core has better spells and they always win, unless they're also adding in magical exhaustion in which case that is used to make them fail at predetermined points without needing to create a legitimate and believable reason why within the plot.

If magical cores are a world building device, they're part of The-Lazy-Man's-World-Building-Kit, otherwise known as that collection of cliches that always make the fictional world in question less interesting and magical. Sure, they make magic very straight forward and understandable. They also make it more boring and generic.

 

You're blasting an entire concept for it's horribly misuse. Might as well say that lactic acid is bullshit because it makes all fights end when one side can't keep up with the anaerobic exertion (I haven't taken Bio in years but I think that's how it works). It's another muscle to train, a reason why wizards are different from muggles, etc. If the author uses it as an excuse for Super Harry then sure, it's bad. That's misuse of concept, a problem with the writing rather than any inherent negative properties.

 

I gotta say, I've never seen a single movie or read a single book where build up of lactic acid decided the fight. Because, you know, that would be a very long fight.

Anyway, the problem with the fic isn't the use of magical cores, which is annoying but can be ignored if the rest of the fic is good.

The problem is the absolutely absurd super Hermione. The massive boost the author has given to her intelligence is difficult to swallow. And she simply doesn't make a good villain, and certainly not in this way. If Hermione ever did go evil, I imagine she would be the "make sure it never comes to a fight" sneaky type of villain, not the "cause Harry to feel nervous in her presence because she's that much stronger than him" sort of villain.


(Also, it's kinda easy to see how the summary doesn't lead to reads. Super Hermione and disabled Harry in the summary? No thanks...)

 

I was using it as a stand in for "your muscles getting tired due to exertion." So yes, you've definitely seen plenty of fights end up that way. Especially if you watch boxing and enjoy Mayweather wearing down anyone and everyone. Hell, Dresden has plenty decided because one side runs out of oomph

 

Yay magical core discussion. Cut that shit out please D8

Edit: As for the fic itself, lolno. Amazingly, it is even more terrible than the summary made me think.

 

Witch Queen is at best a guilty pleasure tale with an "amped to eleven" super!Hermione. It'd have been a far better story (and even a believable one after a fashion, as it's one of the novel ideas the author introduced that I like) if she were only gifted with her unique ultra-mega-intelligence and not similarly made ultra-mega-magically powerful on top. The combination makes her so ridiculously overpowered that Harry is put in the role of pacifier and appeaser (even more annoying given how much Harry's been nerfed) and, I suspect, triggers an immune response in most DLP readers, particularly since the story seems to be heading toward Harry/Hermione in one of the least healthy relationships in memory.

 

+1. Glad I didn't even bother.

 

You seem to have missed my entire point being that it's boring and generic. Yes, plenty of magic systems use similar concepts, Dresden being one of them. Doesn't change the fact it's not really magical. The magical, interesting parts of The Dresden Files are all the parts that aren't involved in fights. The I have moar power than you because lol magical energy power levels so bigger explosions kinetic force thunderbolts and lightning very very frightening is so fucking dull compared to all the other subtle magic in the series it's not even funny. It's straight forward, it's understandable, but goddamn is it generic.

 

I'm hesitant to post this one, but I'll let you guys decide:

The Merging
Post GoF. The Dementor attack on Harry leaves him kissed with his wand broken in an alleyway. In a body that once housed two souls, only one remains, and it's not exactly what began either. What else can he do but keep moving forwards, forced by a fate he never wanted, fighting for a life he never got to live. And fight he will. Novel style fic.

Chapters: 11 - Words: 126,111 - Published: Sep 27

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9720211/1/The-Merging

The bad:

Lots of cliches (custom wand, super trunk, sneaking out to Diagon Alley, Ice Queen, Noble and Ancient House of Potter).

Very slow pace. Not in the "never leave summer" sense but in the "a lot of ordinary Hogwarts life and little plot" sense.

Some pretty absurd turns of phrase and conversations between characters. Memorably, apparently the students of Hogwarts know Daphne as "as beautiful as winter itself".

The good:

Many of the cliches are briefly mentioned and then cease to be important, almost like the author felt like he had to include them but begrudged their presence.

The fic premise is interesting and original, but even after 120k words we're not much further along that plotline than you get from the summary (see: pace).

The real star of the fic is are the characters. The author flirts briefly with Ron bashing at the start but then seems to change course. That's the only instance of poor characterisation. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hermione are all done well. Harry himself, while rather uncanonish, is consistently and entertainingly characterised. Various characters who are minor in canon are fleshed out here, and most notably Tracy Davis and Daphne Greengrass are actually interesting.

The latest chapter (eleven) was especially good on that front, and I think the author's writing is visibly improving with each chapter. The "no pairing, multiple possibilities" romance is keeping the fic afloat at the moment.

Competent Harry.

Very good update rate.

 

I'm on chapter 6 of The Merging. The first several chapters are quite bad. The following chapters are also bad, but in a somewhat charming way. For example, I found the detailed walkthrough of Harry's super-trunk to be more amusing than tiresome, probably because I haven't read a straightforward application of that cliche in a while. Spelling and grammar are good, and I agree with Taure that the author is perceptibly improving with each update. However, the author's no genius with a pen for sure - 6 chapters in and I haven't come across a single example of the type of memorable or clever passages that distinguishes mere writers from wordsmiths.

A very solid example of an almost recommendable story. 3/5.

 

I'll be honest, the summary of The Merging gave me very strong Partially Kissed Hero vibes, and I almost didn't read it. I'm glad I was bored enough to decide otherwise.

It does take a while for the author to lift themself up to a high enough competency to be enjoyable, but they do manage it. The first chapter has a few timing issues that confused me for a minute; The first scene is Harry being attacked by the dementor, and in the next he's showing a few indie!Harry cliches and hopping the Knight Bus to Diagon, without explaining that the latter actually happened first.

The indie!Harry cliches are at first pretty rampant, what with Harry fuming at Dumbledore for not telling him anything ever, finding out he's the heir of an Ancient and Noble house, and getting immediately emancipated by the very helpful Goblin he just promoted to Potter Account Manager. I think the thing that saves it is that the worst cliche is a joke from the outset. The super trunk. Harry doesn't wander into the trunk store wanting the best trunk they have because trunks are the be-all and end-all and all that jazz, he walks in and tells the store owner to make the most ridiculous trunk he can think of because he has money to burn and wants to do something outlandish. He acknowledges it's ridiculous, and all but admits it's a conveniently useful flight of fancy.

That said, after a few chapters the story comes more into its own, gives some pretty good characterisation to everyone, and neatly avoids any character bashing. I just finished chapter eleven and I'm really enjoying the interaction between Harry and Tracy, as well as between Harry and Tonks, in particular.

3/5