Isn't pre-Hogwarts Harry kind of pathetic and sad? Even if not, his life so far has been described as boring and/or time spent being bullied. Why would a play around him be interesting?

 

Uh, what? I'm trying to decide if you're implying that Tennessee Williams is bad, and I hope for your sake that's not what you mean.

That being said, I can't imagine this will work, really. It feels entirely unnecessary.

 

I'm wondering if it's meant to be some sort of "anti-bullying" message or special. Unless there's more from what was going on in the wizarding world around that time, it feels like it'll be a social message kind of play.


Oh yeah, don't hate on plays without at least reading a couple and then watching them on stage. It can be amazing.

 

When I first read about this, I thought, "That sounds depressing." But you're right, Harry wasn't the little emo bitch most writers depict. Still, I'm not sure I want to see a play about an abused orphan who occasionally turns his teacher's wig blue.

 

I don't honestly see the point, it will be a play going in one of two directions.

#1, nothing will happen we don't already know of, and it'll merely show how Harry became the way he was in PS, which means that we know the beginning, most of the contents of the middle, and the conclusion, leading to a fairly boring play to be honest.

#2, they have a wild adventure, reveal magic before Harry is 11, ext ext and then he is obliviated at the end. He also wouldn't run into anybody we know from around his age bracket, otherwise they would have gone up to him in PS and revealed that they had met. Meaning that the play is, at best, irrelevant to the plot of the whole HP series, and at worse, it feels like the HP series would have gone much better had Harry remembered this experience.

I can completely see #2 happening, and Harry being obliviated for some stupid reason like "He couldn't cope with his fame and so asked to be obliviated." And to be honest, that happening would just irritate me, and would make me feel that JKR was doing it purely for extra publicity, and by proxy extra money, and is cheating the fans into getting an extra part of the series that means genuinely nothing. That would feel like a punch in the face, given that we had to suffer through HBP and DH and get an ending that felt woefully lacking to our earlier expectations.

I'm still going to go and see it mind.

 

What we could end up seeing is a story in which it turns out, though he was oblivious, Harry's youth was in fact highly active magically -- assassination and kidnap attempts, secret admirers and the press, etc. Harry blunders through the lot without ever really noticing, his accidental magic occasionally saving him from trouble without him realising, but in fact he's surrounded by wizards like Diggle who are working hard to keep him alive.

 

That's actually a great idea!

After all, just because he's safe inside Privet Drive #4, doesn't mean he's safe outside. Who knows, perhaps in canon Death Eaters and other people were attempting to kill him, crazed fans were trying to kidnap him. Perhaps the Order was functioning all the time, albeit in a different form and with different missions.

 

If Harry's not the main character, this has a lot more potential.

I still think she should at least wait until the Fantastic Beasts movie comes to fruition.

 

I actually spoke directly to JKR and she said that the play is entitled "R. Kelly's Trapped in the Cupboard." In a strange twist (and some would say an even stranger marketing choice) the role of Young Harry Potter was given to R&B singer R. Kelly. I asked her about it, she said, "Well, you should have seen his audition. It was haunting. Like he really knew the pain of being stuck inside a small space usually used for storage. Plus, he's not shy, and there is going to be some full-frontal going on... He promised not to pee on anyone."

The play will apparently detail Harry's rich inner life as he struggles to find amusement within the small confines of his cupboard (which is where the full-frontal comes in). I'm told the first half hour will consist entirely of Harry (Mr. Kelly) tugging on his weiner in a futile attempt at amusing himself. The second and third act revolve between more of this weiner action and a bit of abuse from the Dursleys.

James Avery (the late, great, Uncle Phil) was being considered for the role of Vernon. The role of Dudley is going to a little-known rapper from the American Southwest by the name of See-more Black'back (perhaps you've heard his hit single, Ding-a-ling-dong: Shawties in Thongs). Petunia Dursley will be portrayed by Flavor Flav.

It should be a fun-filled romp with enough light-hearted humour and raunchy excitement for the whole family to enjoy.

tldr: its going to suck