I swear to fucking Merlin, if one of you motherfuckers melts a cauldron like Longbottom, I'll curse your ass. Dumbledore won't do shit!

...now that I have got that out of the way, welcome to NEWT level Potions. Please, if you are some sort of retard, do not attend, or you will surely die.

Question number 1: How long does it take to brew Felix Felicis?

I want an answer by this time tomorrow, or you all fail.

 

I believe that would be better asked in the "Questions that don't deserve a thread" thread.

And I think it was six months or something. Edit: five seconds on Google and apparently I'm right.

 

MOTHERFUCKER, DID YOU JUST CHECK THE WIKIPEDIA!

10 points from Hufflepuff, Mister Teabag.

Now then, onto question number 2: Name three ingredients of the Polyjuice potion.

Also, another 20 points from Hufflepuff, Mister Teabag, for being a cheeky little arsehole.

 

Sweet Jesus, you're actually doing this.

 

Boomslang skin, lacewing flies, fluxweed

... sir.

 

...correct.

10 points to Ravenclaw. Class over. There will be a quiz tomorrow!

 

Go play with your chemistry set Snivellus.

 

I have spoken with the Headmaster. You have been given detention. Also, 10 points from Hufflepuff, Mister Erotic, for not spelling adventures properly.

 

This thread is godtier.

Sir.

 

Sir, are you aware that you are in fact a muggle?

 

I dunno about you guys but I think Snape's up to something. I mean, have you ever seen him give more than one or two points ever to someone not in Slytherin?

Therefore, Voldemort.

 

It's obviously Sirius Black with Polyjuice.

 

I Claim that this is in fact Hitler disguised as a goat and then polyjuiced into Severus Snape

 

I would bet my two knuts dis nigga straight ices Dumblehizzle by the end of the yurr.

 

Umm....Professor, why are both your N.E.W.T. level questions ones that a first year could answer?

 

Felix Felicis is not a first year potion. o.o

Neither is Polyjuice, for that matter.

 

...do not let Lyrium near a potions set, she will kill us all. And I thought Neville Longbottom was bad. 10 points to Sloth for having some sort of brain.

Quiz time, you little fuckers.

1. How long do you remain transformed from one mouthful of Polyjuice Potion?

2. True or false - Felix Felicis is toxic if taken in large quantities.

3. Give me two possible side effects when taking an Elixir to Induce Euphoria.

4. Tell me how fit Lily Evans is.

That is all. You have several days.

 

1. One hour.

2. True. If taken in excessive, but not lethal, quantities it also promotes recklessness and overconfidence, which can be dangerous to the user.

3. Excessive singing of the latest Weird Sisters song. Over and over again. Off tune. Also nose tweaking, because some idiots think that is funny.

4. Too fit for you.

 

1. One Hour.

2. True.

3. Who Cares.

4. Why don't you ask James Potter, Snivellus.