One from a childrens book. It is a rather common plot device.

 

I'm from the school of thought that the war didn't end with Voldemort's disembodiment and that outlaw Death Eaters roamed free for several years after the way, never mind the ones like Lucius Malfoy. So Harry was, to my thinking, in very real danger even before Voldemort came back.

I won't quote the whole family/blood protection thing for the second because, frankly, at this point I can't remember what's fanon and what's canon. We do know, however, that unknown numbers of people were under the Imperius Curse so Dumbledore couldn't be positive that the person he was asking to watch Harry wasn't actually a Death Eater's puppet.

For the last point I favour the explanation that Dumbledore used this thing called magic to protect him while he was on the doorstep, even if it's not stated in the books.

New pet peeve: Dawlish.

In the books he gets stunned by Dumbledore and hexed by Mrs Longbottom. Lots of fanfics take that to mean that he's incompetent and show it by having Harry hex, curse and generally beat the crap out of him. This is despite Dumbledore stating that Dawlish scored highly in his exams (something like 9 NEWTS) and that he was sure that he (Dawlish) was a perfectly fine Auror.

My point is, I'd like to see a competent Dawlish, one who, when confronted by a canon-esque Harry, proceeds to smack him down.

 

Dawlish's lack of competency in the last book — for instance he completely misses the fact that the Death Eaters have taken control of the Ministry and that is the year he has his dust up with Mrs. Longbottom — is likely because of a Confundus Charm cast upon him in order to aid Harry's escape from Privet Drive. He, apparently, remained under the effects of that spell for a very long period of time.

And to be honest, it's not an unlikely result for many Aurors. Over time injuries and curses may snowball to the point where they are no longer able to be as functional as they once were.

 

Movie. Stan's subplot of misunderstanding Chef's advice.

 

He's not often shown as competent, but when he is, he's usually also a death eater.
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I still can't stand it when people shorten Chamber of Secrets to COS. It's perfectly understandable, it's just that I'm afraid Crown of Swords got there first, in my case. So, every time I see COS, that's what pops into my head. Then, I have to mentally correct myself, and it eats up another few valuable seconds I'll never get back.

I'm getting really tired of fics that say Snape invented Wolfsbane potion. This would bug the shit out of me even if we didn't have proof to the contrary in canon, but we do, and so that pisses me off even more.

Firstly, Snape is not the end-all be-all when it comes to potions. Are people's fantasies about sucking Snape's gnarled, untouched, pixie dick so all-consuming that they must compulsively give him credit for every potion in the Harry Potter canon, or is it just that they're too lazy and/or creatively barren to come up with a name for a character that doesn't even need to appear on the page, beyond mentioning that they invented a potion?

Secondly, if he were going to research and invent a potion, it would be to make himself wealthy and famous/respected, not to help people - if this hypothetical potion was something that helped people, that aspect of it would merely be an afterthought, next to how stinking rich it could make him and how many people he'd have kissing his ass over it.

Thirdly, helping werewolves? With Snape's personal history? Not a chance. Even people who have never seen a werewolf don't give a shit about them, but someone who was nearly killed by one... who was someone he already didn't particularly like? No.

Fuck Snape; it was Damocles Belby who created Wolfsbane (the only reason Marcus Belby got invited to the Slug Club), not Severus, so knock that shit off. :facepalm

 

lol, why in the world would she give a name as awesome as Damocles to such a throwaway character? I was planning on using that one myself at some point.

 

Right? I'd hate to have that hanging over my head.

 

Any Harry/Bellatrix pairing-centric fic that has the latter 'Oh I was totally under the Imperius, in addition to being beaten and raped every day, when in truth I'm a great fan of muggle music and wearing jeans'.

So far, only "Control" and "Only Enemies" do this pairing right without doing a complete personality shift. Shame about them both being abandoned.

 

I agree with everything you said with the possible exception of this bit. I don't think Snape gives any shits at all about money or what people think.

It seems to me that Snape loves potions for the artistry. Yes, any beneficial effects from a potion made by Snape would be purely circumstantial, but only because he cares about potions, not people. A potion is worth making if it's 'fascinating' or difficult.

If Snape designed any potion it would probably be one with a really obscure and specific effect (Make the toenails of people with names beginning with P flash green and yellow on every 7th thursday). I see him as something of a blue-sky potions researcher.

 

Wasn't he majorly pissed in PoA about losing his chance at an Order of Merlin for capturing Sirius Black? That smacks of wanting notoriety or perhaps respect, something along those lines.

 

I think it has more to do with having one over Black, than the recognition itself.

 

I suppose you could read anything into it you wanted. I prefer to read it for what it was.

Relevant text:

While I'm sure he was more than satisfied in seeing Sirius captured, the previous quote indicates to me that he was quite happy with possibly receiving the award. Well, as happy as Snape ever is anyway.

No telling on this one since it's secondhand accounting and Remus tends to downplay Snape's hatefulness on numerous occasions throughout the book.

I don't think there's been any time that I've read where he's concerned one way or the other about money, but he's shown a few times that he wants or specifically deserves certain things for whatever reason.

 

Huh. That bit boggled me quite a bit later on in the book series, as I seem to recall that Snape was sworn to secrecy about Lupin's werewolf status. Or was that just fanfic stuff that I seem to remember? Or maybe the oath simply expired upon his departure from Hogwarts as a student. In any case, I find it quite odd that Snape went unreprimanded by Dumbledore for that (telling students Lupin was a werewolf), as far as we know. Also, how the hell do you even slip something like that? Does he just ask Lupin to pass along some silverware and then goes "Oh right, your lycanthropy, my bad"?

Remus probably felt guilty, even though it wouldn't have been really his fault, for almost killing Snape.

Snape's problem is, in essence, that he feels entitled to a lot of things. That and he's just a plain old bitter asshole.

 

Unless it was an Unbreakable Vow, there's no canon evidence to support that Oath's are worth anything more than the person's willingness to keep it.

There aren't any, "I swear on my magic, so mote it be!!!" KRACKATHOOM! oaths.

And I highly doubt Dumbledore would subject a student to an Unbreakable Vow. He just isn't the sort.

 

Oh dear, magical oaths.

Now that's a pet peeve for many people that read fanfics, I trust. I see it most commonly in fics that talk about Harry's fourth year, and they all have him almost jumping up on the Gryffindor table in the great hall and proclaiming his innocence to the world in the whole affair of his name coming out of the Goblet.

I think I read some fic last summer where Harry kept swearing so many magical oaths, he was rendered a squib.

 

The entrance to Ravenclaw being a riddle has annoyed me for ages, canon or not. Especially when some of the riddles are insanely complicated, then they expect children to be able to solve them. Smart is not defined, because you are placed in Ravenclaw doesn't mean you are a genius at word games. By those fics standards, it's entirely likely children will spend hours trying to solve a riddle. Curfew? What curfew.

It would be better in fics if they made the riddle optional, but like the other houses, still have a password to gain entrance. You could still do the riddle of you choose to, but it's in no way compulsory.

 

I'd always sort of assumed that a- the riddle is pitched at your level and b- that riddles similar to the one McGonagall got don't have definitive answers and any sufficiently well-reasoned response would suffice.

 

Hadrian James Potter.

How I hate this. A passion burns inside me, a passion that demands the still beating hearts of all those who make this Harry's 'real' name.

How I loath thee, let me count the ways.

1) Harry isn't a shortening of Hadrian. If you want Harry to have a 'sophisticated' name so that he can go be Lord Potter Peverell Emrys Skywalker Ketchum Black then call him Henry. Y'know, the name that actually shares a common root with Harry and for which Harry is often used as an alternative.

2) So you want a name that communicates Harry's new power and influence. I know the perfect name! It means power, or ruler. Henry. That's why it was rather popular among kings (Henry, Henri and Heinrich).

3) Why do you even want to do that anyway? You've probably completely changed Harry's personality already. If you change the name too then it's not really Harry Potter anymore in any way. No, giving him a name beginning with H does not make it better.

Ok. So there's not actually that many ways. But I think I make up for it with the level of annoyance I gain from this one thing.

Changing Harry's name in a tired attempt to drive home how 'manipulated' he's been always annoys me. Changing it to Hadrian drops me off the deep end.

Please, for my sanity and your continued good health, stop doing this.

(Also: If Harry is too common, surely James would also be too common? After all, James shares Harry's heritage, so if Harry is actually Hadrian does that mean James is actually Justinian?)

 

It's a bit of an odd thing. Some wizards and witches have unusual names, names not quite so common: Severus, Qurinus, Albus, Hermione, Alastor, Draco, Lucius, Narcissa (plus the whole Black family) and so on. Some have them quite common: James, Ronald, Harry, Molly, Fred, George, Neville, Lee, Terry, Cedric, etc.

There's no rhyme or reason to dictate these things, except in the case of Blacks, who were obsessed with constellations.

Now shut up and be happy it's not Harold or Harrison or, dear god, Harriet.

 

I think that if you have to go with a longer version of 'Harry', Harrison is probably the least offensive option in my opinion. I've never heard of anyone named Henry calling themselves Harry (and am rather confused as to why you would nickname yourself something that takes the same amount of effort to say as your full name), Harold doesn't sound main character-ey, and Hadrian is cringe.