Strange brain path:
Scamander tracks down the nundu that breathed out the Spanish flu. Turns out nundu can talk.

"Why would you kill your countrymen if they did nothing to spite you?"

"I'm not Spanish, I'm Egyptian," replied the massive feline.

"You said you came from Spain! You are a liar!"

/ObscureHighlanderReference

 

Last two posts cracked me up.

When I first heard about the story, I was reminded of How to Train Your Dragon. It should be a book about classifying beasts in the magical world, with the amazing CGI that HP is known for, and I doubt Albus plays a part at all. Actually, I hope is a better word than I doubt.

Surely there will be an antagonist, but I hope she stays away from Grindelwald completely. Then again, she'll probably do just as enembee said and ruin everything.

 

My imagination goes like this:

It starts off with the view of a bright red magical train travelling. You see in the windows children waving wands and one reading a newspaper with the year and date on it. It zooms out to show that it's not the Hogwarts Express, but instead travelling across magical America.

Inside on of the carriages Newt Scamander is trying to hunt down the Thunderbird. On the train it introduces Newt and a few of his characteristics by him meeting an attractive female passenger (lets call her Evelyn Nanch) and describing his job as a magical naturalist.

Getting off the train, he goes with a group of magical cowboys to hunt down the creature (big old chase sequence) and almost captures it, but Evelyn randomly turns up, gets to it first and rides off to the East on the Thunderbird.

At that point he goes to a saloon to console himself with Firewhisky and sees a newspaper talking about how the Muggles have almost wiped out a species of magical creature that lives in Northern France and Germany. Whereupon he rushes to Western Europe in the middle of the First World War amidst trenches to try and capture some for a zoo. Cue action scenes.

Once he brings some back to the zoo he arrives just in time to see Evelyn ride off on a Nundu. It accidentally causes devastation across Europe before he captures her. It turns out that she has friends in Africa where the Nundu came from and she just wants to take the Nundu back to it's parents. So, Newt and Evelyn tries to take it back to Africa.

During the trip back they strike up a real romance, brave hazardous dangers and fantastic creatures, and leave the Nundu with it's parents. Heartwarming moments and all that.

At that point Evelyn dares him that she'll find the Crumple-Horned Snorkack first and it ends with Newt agreeing to the challenge. Fade to Black.

 

No.

<filler>

 

I keep hoping it will be shot by the same folks that crewed for Steve Irwin, staring someone who can pull off a magical Bill Nye x Steve Irwin type. And I hope there's plenty of CGI monsters, too. Screw it. Get Bill Nye to do it, he would if some of the movie's proceeds went to the Planetary foundation.


Also, for the record, I am high as a kite on benedryl and dramamine due to food poisoning, so I am just chock-full of good ideas.

 

So this is real, then? Well fuck.

My expectations are extremely low but I trust you guys to slog through this and let me know if it's worth the time when it comes out. I know spinoffs aren't always terrible but for every Colbert Report there are a dozen Joanie Loves Chachis.

 

I don't believe in optimism. In my experience it invariably leads to depression. If you have no expectations, you will never be disappointed. So as a matter of principle, I am going to assume this movie will be flat out terrible, and probably go watch it anyways.

 

I am approaching this Movie with Caution.

On one hand, it could provide a fresh Canon perspective on the HP Universe. And judging by the years this roughly takes place, they could bring Grindelwald (the most underrated and least discussed character in the Story) in.

On the other hand, there really isn't that much plot you can add to a textbook about animals. The Quidditch book can make a more viable movie.

If it were up to me, they would be working on a Grindelwald Movie, which would explore his rise to power, his former friendship with Dumbledore, and that great duel between the two. Based on the little Canon we know about him, Grindelwald is arguably a better villain than Voldemort (in his Prime, of course, and not as an old repentant man who spent 50 years in jail).

 

I just hope they don't try to do too much. Honestly just show Newt Scamander dicking around with awesome deadly animals.

 

Honestly, as much as I like this Movie Idea and the thougths that follow, I can't help but really really want a Movie or TV series of based around Quidditch.

 

The series about Quidditch would have to take care of the 150 point snitch being too useful - as it would be a glaring thing to make stories around it. Unless they display a huge amplitude of scores, the difference changing rapidly, well over the bounds of the 150 point comfort zone.

Otherwise, if this movie has Steve-irvin like documentary feel, with Newt poking his head at dangerous creatures and going "well, this seems to be a Nundu. A deadly creature. Now, don't ever try to tickle it like this, it gets them angry." Cue a chase with spells flung the creature's way afterwards.

Well, you get the idea - that would work.

 

Personally, I'm holding out for a Marauders/first war (origin story) or Grindelwald War series. Though, a movie about Newt could be interesting.

 

Grindelwald would be nice, but i think it would be just a bit of a drag to write due to coherence issues with an already fairly detailed world. Creatures and Quidditch have no real impact on the actual HP 'verse, so it would just be a tale around the making of the book, i suppose.

Just imagine the battle scene between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, and how much of a mess JKR seems to have made for herself in (to my mind) implying rather strongly that Dumbledore beat Grindelwald in a fight, that they were roughly equally talented, and that Grindelwald was using the Elder Wand. Also, unless you put in a fair bit of slash drama (which the public in many places may not tolerate) The slight complication that Grindelwald has no real compunctions about killing Dumbledore, who ends the fight by restraining him, seems like a strategic nightmare.

That is, however, what would make it such a gorgeous story to try. Sometime.

 

No HP movie is complete without a kick-ass fight scene.

What better scene than the greatest duel between two wizards.

Newton can lead the creature attack on Numengard by riding a Hungarian Horntail.

 

Nurmengard* Why is nobody able to remember this?

 

It's going to be a trilogy. Thoughts?