Title: Reign of the Serpent
Author: AlphaEph19
Rating: T
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
Library Category: The Alternates
Pairings: None
Chapters: 14
Words: 120,279
Updated: November 7, 2015
Published: October 21, 2013
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: AU. Salazar Slytherin once left Hogwarts in disgrace, vowing to return. He kept his word. A thousand years later he rules Wizarding Britain according to the principles of blood purity, with no end to his reign in sight. The spirit of rebellion kindles slowly, until the green-eyed scion of a broken House and a Muggleborn genius with an axe to grind unite to set the world ablaze.
Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9783012/1/

I've been following this story for awhile now, and I think it's long enough to rate. Pretty much everything AlphaEph writes is high quality. This story is probably the largest AU I've ever read. I think over all it's a good story, although Chapter 6 is a bit...well, it's not bad. Couple of spelling errors but really minor for the most part.

Overall, I'd give it a 4/5.


Checked by Minion, Feb. 28, 2016

 

edit: dope.

 

This is excellent work.

 

I'm really loving the worldbuilding in this one as well as the excellent portrayal of Hermione and her intelligence.

 

I like the story although everybody is acting a lot older than the eleven they're supposed to be.

 

I like the fic, but Hermione is annoying.
Canon Hermione was smart and loved to learn. This one is calculating.
I love canon Hermione, but this one is annoying to read.

Other than that the fic seems promising.
Gonna rate it 3/5. If Harry gets some more screen time, it could go higher.

 

Wow, I like it. Hermione can be a bit too Slytherin at times, but the World-Building more than makes up for it.

At this point, I really want the story to bring out Dumbledore and Grindelwald. Even if they aren't working together (and/or Grindelwald's actually evil), it will certainly be fascinating to see what they're like.

 

Personally, I found it annoying. I read Harry Potter fanfiction for Harry Potter, not Hermione the Magic-est Muggle of Them All. The balance is too heavily weighted towards her and - ultimately - who gives a crap?

 

Read on. Harry will appear shortly. The first couple of chapters are just world-building for the most part.

 

I did read on. Hermione - who has relatively little training - can perfectly perform spells while Harry - coached by his magical father & godfather, and daily exposure to his mother working magic - struggles. *eyeroll* I can believe that Hermione is smart, but already built a natural foundation for occlumency? Perfect spells when she has just been exposed to them? Tries to lay low so as to not draw attention to herself, yet jumps at the chance to humiliate Potter in class? Maneuvers politics with Malfoy seamlessly, and to her benefit?

The author is building super!Hermione.

Not interested.

 

My thoughts exactly as of chapter 8. I want more Harry, and less Wonder-Hermione. Every other character seems at least semi-realistic for 11 year old's. Hermione reads like a 35 year old going through the motions in an 11 year old's body.

 

I won't try to convince you that this is a good story, but I want to point out that mastering spells quickly = Hermione. She actually has more training than in canon. Also, they're 11. I'd hardly call that political manuevering...

And just because Harry has been exposed to magic doesn't mean he will he'll learn faster. He doesn't learn paricularly fast in canon; creating a working shield charm, albeit a weak one, after the first lesson, is not struggling.

I don't think your problem with the story is a strong!Hermione. Your problem is it's not strong!Harry.

 

But don't you see? She's experienced such dreadful things, it helped mature her up.

Anyway, Spyder practically voiced my opinion on this fic. I want to read the story to its conclusion, I really do, but I'll be giving it after the next few chapters unless the focus shifts away from wanking up Hermione as it has been doing so far. The way things are going, by her second year she'll be crafting her own spells, seeing and sensing magic, creating her own Philosopher's Stone, taming manticores and hydras, become more knowledgeable about magic than canon!Dumbledore and Harry is going to be a submissive in their soul-bond which is really just her Horcrux molding him to her taste. Ultimately, I give it 2/5.

You sure about that? Because Hermione doesn't seem like it at all.

 

I absolutely agree with the Hermione-Wanking, where she is suspiciously good at Magic. But to be honest, what really bothers me is her personality. She just reads like an older, experienced, Slytherin. Hell, I'm starting to wonder if she's Tom Riddle's bastard daughter. It would certainly explain her personality, and Tom's interest in her.

And it doesn't help I have a small fear this will eventually turn into a Harry/Hermione story. I don't care how well it's written, I have an innate hatred of that Ship.

 

Doesn't the summary pretty much suggest that's what's going to happen?

 

This is what I see instead of summary:

Resurrection of the Founders. Again.

pseudopolitical!Harry, Harry-with-goblins, inheritance nonsences

OOC!fanon!Hermione

Two eleven year olds unite to destroy a world? powerful!Harry? Harry/Hermione done wrong?


I don't know whether that story is good or not, but that's how I read that summary.

 

I'm hoping it's strictly an Alliance, maybe a Friendship. And I like to think that even if it turns into a Harry/Hermione, by the time it does I could be too turned off by the story's relentless Hermione-Wanking to still be reading it.

 

It's better than the summary, really.

Super!Hermione is somewhat annoying. I'm hoping that Harry will put her in her place soon. Still, it doesn't seem to be that bad as people moan. If by her political manoeuevring you mean that one spat with Malfoy, you're exaggerating. There are fics with Harry as the smart-ass and complaining isn't that strong. I lay that at the feet of Potter Law and DLP's apparent dislike of Miss Granger. The one thing that annoyed me with regard to Hermione was that

Spoiler

Riddle just opened up to her so easily. Genius or not, she's still 11 years old, but that's Riddle being stupid, not Hermione being too smart.

I thought the sidekick characters were written really rather well. I very much approve of Sirius in this story. He has the vibes of Marauder awesomeness, a trend that seems to have started with A Black Comedy, and I don't think there's a better way to write him.

Writing is technically good, but I have to subtract from the final score for two things:

1) Hermione's a bit over the top characterization. I don't dislike her as much as the other reviewers seem to, but

Spoiler

11 year old girls thinking about revolution already seems far-fetched. I much prefer Harry's motivation - he just wants to restore his family's honor, which has a more real, grounded feel.

2)

Spoiler

Riddle just being stupid in chapter 7.

Overall, 3,5/5, rounded down to 3, but I'd be happy to bump it to a solid Library-worthy 4 if the author downplays Hermione in the future.

 

Another story that I like, follow and that was posted to the Library IMHO too early. As it stands now I give it 5/5 for potential, but I will downgrade in case of even stronger super!Hermione, lack of updates or some blatant stupidity (Salazar has a big potential here).

Characters, especially Hermione are not behaving like 11 years old. But with pretending that children are four or five years older it is not a problem (and I am doing it anyway with half of stories).

Characterisation is generally good to great (I especially like Lily and Sirius in recent chapter), effective Order is a nice thing, interesting wordbuilding etc.

But plot is just starting.

 

Or my problem could be exactly what I said it was. I'll make no further comment on the arrogance of presuming to tell me what I 'really' meant.

Actually, I don't think I am. What I said was "Maneuvers politics with Malfoy seamlessly, and to her benefit?". She did exactly that.

In the second scene with Draco, Hermione has already decided to 'fly under the radar' to hide her 'mudblood' status. When confronted, she avoids answering his question by lowering her head and purposely injects a quaver into her voice. After trying (in her words) 'simple flattery' and 'an innocent act', she readjusts her approach to a thinly veiled note of challenge and underlying sarcasm. She even goes so far as to describe it as "I'm a shiny little puzzle... Intriguing enough to play with for a while, but not important enough to get frustrated by". All of this posturing, mind you, is presented as 'instinctual', relying on his stance or the look in his eyes to determine her countermoves. As a final result, Draco is so impressed he offers her the right to call him by his first name.

An 11 year old? Adjusts her approach (not once but three times) to ultimately maneuver someone raised in the highest caste into allowing her to use his first name? And she's presumably (from Draco's perspective) in the lowest caste (and even lower in reality)? And did it subtly enough to gain his respect? In only their second meeting? The historical and social equivalent of a Brahmin interacting with a Shudra (who is in reality a Dalit) in 19th century India?

You may find it believable. I find it to be a bit ridiculous - not to mention the solid underpinnings of a Mary Sue.