My advice, stick to writing "A Chance Encounter".

 

My advice, stop trying to give advice.

 

Nah, I'm glad to give it to the needy.

 

Eat a dick and die? I'll write whatever the fuck I want.

 

I'm not a fan of rape fiction but isn't the point of fanfiction to write whatever the fuck we want about already established characters?

 

To be fair, lay off of Republic. It was a rapey scene, but it wasn't that bad, and I actually thought the second part redeemed it somewhat. Give him some constructive criticism and move on.

 

It would be perfectly OK with at least some hint of established relationship. Slight change would significantly reduce risk of "wait, I wanted to read about Harry, not polyjuiced Malfoy" from reader.

Something like "“Harry, this is not okay!”" to "“Harry, not now!”".

 

Do I really need to explain to you what a suggestion is, Rep? I'd very much appreciate it if you never took that tone with me again.

I still don't quite feel the characterization was right, but it did at least explain the previous scene and make it way less creepy. I think it's the line about "her unborn child" that makes no go "Hell no!"

The rest is good and I look forward to seeing where you'll take it.

 

Man, what the fuck, is this a writing thread or a fifth grade girls' gossip circle? Quit with the drama and get with the writing.

 

Look who the fuck is talking. I don't see Naruto fucking Tsunade anywhere in the thread. Do you?

 

You guys have very thin skin if that bothers you. What Republic wrote was very tame compared to what DLP used write. Because let me remind you in the past reading was the hazing for joining up.


Good old days.

 

Fucking this.

I think I'd better not mention that the original concept for my scene was outright rape, not the soft stuff I ended up writing.

Ohwait.

 

I'm all for harsh if honest criticism, but I really do not see how the weird shit that went on here in the past justifies rape threads, past or present.

If you want that stuff, fine, there's a thread for it. This one kinda isn't it and while I know it isn't my decision, I'd rather not see it here.

 

Lol, says who? I say it is.

 

There will be no fucking involved. You said 'Legendary Sucker', so you get Legendary SUCKER. :awesome

 

FINE. It better be worth it.

 

After reading Eroninja (skimming, mostly), I really want to see a good Naruto/Samui/Sakura/Temari foursome. No rape, but any other setup is fair game. Any takers?

 

I was planning on taking my sweet time with this (meaning several weeks before I started thinking of it again) but WalkingDisaster blackmailed/bribed me to get it done immediately. So here it is.

Zeelthor, this is for you. I present to you,

~~~
HARRY/HERMIONE CLOACK ACTION, PART 2
~~~
​

“This had better not be one of your pranks, Harry.”

“Your trust in me is almost tangible, Hermione.”

“I’m serious. I didn’t want to believe Ms Weasley, but after spending the summer with Sirius you’ve been insufferable.”

“Best thing that ever happened to me.”

Hermione grimaced. “That may be, but it says more about the rest of your life than this particular period.”

“Whatever! Listen, this is not a joke. You wanted me to make it special, and I finally know what to do. So trust me, okay?”

“But do you have to stun me?”

“I want our destination to be a surprise, and I don’t trust you not to count floors and turns.”

“And you said something about me having trust issues?”

“I don’t have trust issues. I trust that you will count the turns, given the chance. Hence the idea of stunning you.”

“You really are insufferable, you know that?”

Harry smiled. “Yep.”

“This had better be worth it.”

“You’ll love it, I know it.”

“And you better not do anything while I’m out. You’re still not forgiven for the previous stunt.”

Harry raised his hands in a non-threatening gesture. “I would never!”

Hermione’s glare showed that she was not amused. Harry sighed dramatically.

“Fine, I promise. I won’t even touch you, I’ll just levitate you. Okay?”

“Why did I ever agree to this?”

“I would answer if I wasn’t sure that you’d hex me. As it is, all I’ll say is that the sooner you let me stun you the sooner you’ll wake up.”

Hermione sighed, shaking her head slightly.

“Fine.” She got more comfortable in her chair, not wanting to hit anything when she was stunned.

“Do it.”

Harry aimed directly between her eyes, snorting in amusement when Hermione’s breath hitched involuntarily.

“Stupefy!” The read beam struck her, and it was almost like she fell asleep. She relaxed and slumped, melting in the chair as her eyes closed.

Harry regarded her unconscious form, tilting his head to the side. Her lips were pouting and her head was leaning forward as she was slumped in the chair, making for quite the cute image.

He honestly wouldn’t mind exploring Hermione’s body while she was asleep, as the thought itself sent a tingle down his spine and a surge of blood to little Harry Jr, but a promise was a promise.

He cast the locomotive spell on Hermione, floating her gently off the chair and into the air. He added a featherlight charm on her for good measure. Then, he straightened her and led her floating form behind him to lean on his back. He draped her arms around his neck in an imitation of a piggyback ride. This done, he threw the Invisibility Cloak around both of them.

He could have probably carried her even without the weight charm, but he wanted to keep his strength for what was to come and there were several flights of stairs between their current position and their destination.

It wasn’t past curfew yet, but it wouldn’t be too long now, and Harry had no intention of being seen. He exited the empty classroom he and Hermione had met up in, and walked with her on his back, evading people on the corridors that couldn’t see them, until he finally reached the door that he wanted.

He opened the door slightly to check if there was anyone inside. Seeing none, he opened it further and entered, closing it behind him. He walked with Hermione on his back through the class and reached the professor’s desk, empty for now.

He walked around it and reached the corner on the left hand side, barely five meters away from the desk itself.

He removed the Cloak and set it to the side for the time being. He carefully extracted his girlfriend from around him and set her lying on the ground. He layered a few comfort charms on the harsh stone floor, just to make their life easier. By the time he was done, the floor was warm and quite a bit softer than the stone it was made of.

That done, he untied and removed Hermione’s shoes. Then he removed her heavy woolen shirt, leaving her on the white buttoned shirt, which he didn’t touch, mindful of his promise. The, he extracted a long piece of red linen from his pocket, and magically tied it around Hermione’s eyes, blindfolding her. Then he sent a modified Petrifying spell on her, making sure that could move nothing besides her head.

Satisfied, he removed his own robe and bunched it and Hermione’s own in a ball and threw them on the corner, where they would be covered. He retrieved the Invisibility Cloak and opened it to its full extent, to the point where it resembled a sheet more than a cloak, and threw it over him and Hermione, making them invisible once again.

He checked his watch. They should be here soon.

He then set about methodically laying soundproofing charms on a small perimeter around them, then added them on the Cloak itself for good measure. No sound would enter or leave.

As an afterthought, he cast a spell on himself that rendered him sterile for twenty four hours.

All his preparations done, Harry resigned himself to waiting. He’d given himself plenty of time to convince Hermione, and she caved faster than he thought she would, so he had a few minutes to kill.

Finally, ten minutes later, they arrived. Harry saw them enter the room and go about their business, completely unaware of his or Hermione’s presence.

He called out tentatively, and was satisfied that he went unheard. Likewise, their own discussion did not reach his ears.

Satisfied, he turned to Hermione’s unconscious form, still lying on the floor of their cramped space.

“Ennervate.” He said, and felt Hermione jolt to consciousness. Her eyes fluttered open under her blindfold, and she turned her head this way and that.

“Harry?” She asked.

“I’m here.” He said.

“Why can’t I move? Why can’t I see?”

Harry was thankful she hadn’t gotten angry yet, so he rushed to explain.

“You can’t move because I petrified you, and I petrified you so you wouldn’t remove the blindfold before I explained to you exactly why you shouldn’t do that.”

Hermione, for her part, took this in stride. “Okay, why shouldn’t I remove the blindfold? And where are we?”

“We’re in a classroom, and you shouldn’t remove the blindfold because I want to keep exactly where we are a secret until the right moment.”

“A classroom?” Hermione asked. “… we’re not alone, are we?”

Harry grinned. “Nope.”

Hermione drew in a sharp breath as she processed this. She’d asked for this, so she couldn’t exactly berate him.

“Soundproofing charms?”

“They can’t hear us, we can’t hear them.”

“Alright Harry. I won’t look, so release me.”

“Finite.”

Now free to move, Hermione slowly sat up, mindful of the Cloak wrapped around them and patting herself over, noting her lack of shoes or outer shirt, but not commenting on it. Both were on their knees, but it wasn’t painful thanks to Harry’s earlier spellwork.

Her hands found Harry, and slowly found his own and took hold of them. She was breathing heavily, the knowledge of where they were building her excitement as had hoped it would. The blindfold didn’t bother her, surprisingly.

“Kiss me, Harry.”

Not one to keep a lady waiting, Harry did just that, holding her face tenderly in his hands and kissing her like it was their first time kissing. Slowly at first, unsure of each other, then steadily building in intensity until they were both left gasping for breath. Het tongue found its way to his mouth and he complied, savoring the taste of the lips he’d come to know so well this past term.

When they separated again, they were both panting heavily. Hermione’s cheeks were flushed, the blindfold adding to the experience.

“Touch me.” She commanded, and Harry was all too willing to comply. His hands found her breasts through the fabric of her shirt and bra, and he started kneading them. Hermione let out a contented sigh as she leaned further into him, her hands working on the buttons of his own shirt. Harry stopped his ministrations momentarily so that she could remove his shirt with hurried movements. Now bare-chested, Harry endeavored to bring Hermione to a similar state, slowly undoing the buttons of her white shirt, before outright removing it from around her.

Hermione’s slender fingers found his belt and Harry jolted, not expecting such dexterity from the blindfolded girl. She undid his belt and pants in an instant, and was pushing the clothing away. Harry shuffled awkwardly for a few moments in order to successfully remove them and Hermione snorted, imagining his efforts.

Now mostly naked, they resumed their exploration of each other as Hermione straddled him fully, resting her rear on the tent of his boxers. Through both of their undergarments, Harry could feel the heat emanating from her pussy. They resumed their fevered kissing as their hands roamed, Harry’s unzipping Hermione’s skirt and tossing it to the side before settling on the contours of her ass, softly squeezing the soft flesh through the fabric of her panties. Hermione ran her hands through his chest and back, eventually settling them around his neck as they kissed.

The heavy make-out session ended when Harry reached his right hand further behind Hermione, bringing his fingers to rub along her covered pussy, her panties already incredibly wet. Hermione hissed in approval, and her own right hand reached between them and grasped little Harry Jr through the fabric of his boxers. Harry held a breath as she started rubbing him through his boxers, and he intensified his own rubbing of her pussy, his other hand finding and releasing the clasp of her bra, which Hermione swiftly shrugged off, letting their bare chests touch. Harry’s now free hand found her nipple and rolled it between his fingers.

After a while, Harry wanted to taste more, so he extracted his lips from Hermione’s own and hoisted her a little higher. Hermione obligingly leaned backwards, touching her shoulderblades to the wall so that Harry could lean in and take one breast on his mouth, sucking and licking as he continued his rubbing of her special place.

Hermione didn’t take too long to finish, Harry’s ministrations and her knowledge of what they were doing enough to bring her over the edge. Harry let her ride it out as she shuddered and held her breath. When she relaxed, she raised herself slightly and reached down to fully remove her underwear. Harry took this opportunity to do the same.

Harry thought that they were about to get to the main act, but Hermione had other ideas. As he tried to stand up higher she pushed him back down. Gently, but he took the hint and sat, looking at her inquisitively.

She lowered herself to her knees and leaned down, finding Harry’s member with her gentle hands and slowly rubbing it with soft motions. Harry decided to trust her and relax, content to postpone the second act of his plan for a while.

She gave him a handjob for a bit until he was as hard as he was going to get, before lowering herself further and bringing herself eye level with his member. Harry could hardly believe his luck, and held his breath as her tongue reached out of her swollen lips to give him a tentative lick. He shivered at the sensation, and she took it as encouragement because she became more certain in her movements. She started licking him from the base to the tip, taking special care to wrap her tongue as far around the head as she could. After a while, she reached forward and took the head in her mouth, her tongue continuing to lick from inside.

Harry caressed her hair as she started giving him a proper blowjob, slowly taking him deeper into her mouth until he was almost reaching the back of her throat. At the first sign of her gag effect she stopped and pulled away, before taking it again up until the same spot. Harry was mesmerized that though she couldn’t possibly have had previous experience, her teeth never once touched him.

It felt amazing to Harry, who was unused to blowjobs and particularly special because this was the first time Hermione had handled him this way, so it didn’t take too long for him to feel like he was about to finish.

He told her so, and she kept the head of his dick inside her mouth as he grew rigid and grunted. He released his seed in her mouth and she accepted it, keeping a firm lid around him so that none trickled away.

When Harry was finished he sighed and relaxed, and Hermione pulled herself away from his cock before swallowing audibly. The sight of her swallowing his seed while kneeling in front of him, blindfolded, was enough to immediately make him hard again.

“That was amazing, Hermione.”

She smiled at his praise, and followed his lead when he rose to his feet and pulled her with him. Her juices were running down her thighs, and Harry was ready. He kissed her again as she wrapped her hands around his shoulders, and her heaving breasts were rubbing against his chest in wonderful ways.

“Did you use the spell, Harry?”

“I did.”

His erect member was pressed against her belly, and Hermione lifted one slender leg to wrap around him. Harry took things a step further, taking a good, long squeeze of her ass before using it as a handhold to hoist her up and against the wall. He pressed forwards, so that Hermione’s weight was divided between being pushed against him and being held up by his hands. She obligingly wrapped both of her legs around his waist, holding him there. Her hand reached between them in order to guide him to her entrance.

As soon as his tip reached her lower lips, he spoke out.

“Wait.”

She froze, his dick remaining in her entrance but no going further than half an inch in.

“What?” She breathed huskily, annoyed at the interruption.

“You can take off the blindfold now.”

She didn’t move for a few seconds, as if considering his words. Was she wondering if she really wanted to find out who else was in the room? Who else could have, potentially, found them out and either watched them or busted them? What was she expecting? A class in session? A staff meeting?

Hermione reached a hand up and removed the red linen covering her eyes.

She saw a classroom. One she recognized immediately.

As soon as Harry saw Hermione’s eyes widen in realization of what was going on, he pushed forward and entered her in one smooth move. She was incredibly wet already, so his entrance was easy, though she proceeded to clamp down on him to almost painful levels as her hands wrapped around his neck and scratched at his back.

There, sitting on her desk, was professor Mcgonagall, lecturing the single other occupant of the Transfiguration Classroom that was writing lines.

Mindlessly nodding his head as he served detention was none other than Ron Weasley.

It took a few seconds before Hermione relaxed her muscles enough to allow him to move, and when she did he grasped the opportunity with both hands. Rather than starting slow, which would seen tire him out at their current position, he started thrusting in small, rapid moves that had Hermione crying out immediately. Pushed as she was against the wall, the professor’s desk was right in front of her and try as she might, the only way to get their two forms out of her line of sight was to close her eyes.

Fucking against the wall was a new experience for Harry, but he had to say that he quite liked it. Holding Hermione up by her soft rear, he pumped into her with steady, controlled moves. He slowed down his pace and switched to long strokes, pulling out almost completely before slamming back inside. Hermione kissed him firmly, and if Harry felt pain by her nails he voiced no complaint.

A few minutes of this and Harry felt his muscles burn, for although they had found a comfortable rhythm the strain of both holding her up and thrusting continuously was making his muscles burn. Hermione noticed this.

“Let me down.” She said, and he did, releasing a sigh as his hands were unburdened.

“Lay down.” She told him, and he complied again, resting his back against the wall as Hermione straddled him once more. It took some maneuvering with the Cloak, but they managed it. This time, it was him that could, if he leaned to the side, see the detention taking place. He much preferred the view of Hermione’s naked form, however.

Hermione grasped his member in her hands and lowered herself on it, letting out a contented sigh when he was fully sheathed. She started going up and down on it, and Harry held her hips as she slowly raised the tempo of her movements. Soon, she was bouncing on him, one hand rubbing her own clit and the other scratching his chest unconsciously. Harry was mesmerized by the view of her breasts, bouncing in tandem with her movements. He reached up and grasped them, squeezing them in his palms and playing with her nipples.

Hermione’s efforts were not in vain, as her breaths got shorter and faster, until Harry felt her pussy clamp tight around him as she let out a yell. She came, dropping forward on him as if she’d lost control of her muscles. Her sudden clamping was enough to bring Harry over the edge, a place where he’d kept himself at even before they’d changed positions, waiting for her own release. His seed surged into her, filling her insides and spilling out around his dick, leaking back down around him.

Hermione’s collapsed form on his chest let out a happy sigh, before laughing. A melodious, short sound that seemed more amused disbelief that actual humor.

“I can’t believe we did this.” She whispered, her head being next to his. Harry rubbed her back absently.

“We did, though.”

“Are they gone?”

“Just about.”

Indeed, Ron’s detention appeared to be over as he rose. Mcgonagall leveled a stern look his way and imparted a few words on him, to which he mindlessly nodded before being allowed to leave.

Harry watched as Mcgonagall herself collected her things and rose to leave.

“They’re gone.” He said. Hermione gathered the fabric of the Cloak and threw it off of them. Both shivered as they felt air brush against their sweaty forms.

They stayed like that for a while, Harry still inside Hermione, though he’d gone soft by now, and her all but lying on him.

Harry was feeling particularly relieved and satisfied. His sixth year at Hogwarts was turning out to be the best by far, and half of the reason for that had his dick still inside her pussy.

“How was it?” He said a few minutes later, when both had relaxed and were simply enjoying each other’s company. Hermione was running a finger absently over his chest.

“Well, Mcgonagall was a nice touch.” She said conversationally, in a pleasant tone. Harry smirked in satisfaction.

Her sweet voice did not change, nor did her playing with his chest stop, as she spoke again. “But if I so much as hear Ron’s name when we’re like this ever again, I’ll personally make sure you never have children.”

All Harry could do was nod mutely.

~~~​

 

Combining these two pieces makes this entire story mor fun, and mitigates the rape-y feel from the first one. Also I would like to see a new, well written sixth year HP story.

 

It still doesn't feel at all like Harry and Hermione though. The bickering more resembles Hermione's relationship with Ron.