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Questions that don't deserve their own thread.

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Quick Ben, Feb 1, 2012.

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  1. afrojack

    afrojack Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    If they needed to transport a lot of students, I'd imagine they have a fleet of those same carriages. Just a lot more Abraxan.
     
  2. Xantam

    Xantam Denarii Host

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    Now I want to read a fic where the Triwizard Tournament takes place at one of the other schools and the Hogwarts students arrive on a physics-bending Hogwarts Express.
     
  3. MonkeyEpoxy

    MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

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    That constantly lays tracks in front of it as it travels and it can traverse oceans and mountains and cities because fuck yeah magic.
     
  4. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Prince of the Dark Kingdom has a train like that.
     
  5. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    Yeah... everyone does.

    Beauxbatons doesn't even actually have a school, they have a fleet.

    The entire student body is housed within a fleet (squadron, caravan... convoy) of flying carriages and they just keep moving through Europe all year long, stopping only for the Abraxan to rest, or to resupply. Classes take place in the air.

    This is the reason no one outside the school knows where Beauxbatons is. The longest the school has ever been grounded was during WWII, due to the muggles having a distressingly high propensity for hitting carriages with flak, when they didn't even know they were there. It was a bad time to be an airborne school in Europe.

    The second longest was when the eligible students were separated into their own carriage, which then peeled off from the rest of the wing and stayed at Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament.

    The largest problem facing incoming first year students is a constant, pervasive, case of motion sickness, that not even potions can completely do away with (and, even if they could, you can't be taking a potion every day for seven years). Students typically spend the first day of school and of every vacation either flat on their backs, full of motion sickness potion, mercifully unconscious, or all three.

    This is the main reason the Beauxbatons students danced their way into Hogwarts that first night: If you'd seen them trying to walk normally, they'd have looked like a bunch of staggering drunks.

    Muggleborn students describe leaving Beauxbatons as being, "...like spending most of the year on a treadmill, then getting off and trying to walk normally."

    More than a few children in Europe have an unshakable belief in Santa Claus, because they've somehow seen the carriages in the sky, during the winter holidays.

    Of course, I could be wrong about all that... :nyan:

    I'm kidding, of course; it was written in micro-print on the flyleaf of the hardback edition of GoF, and I'll slap-fight anyone who says otherwise.
     
  6. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    Pottermore says that both Durmstrang and Beauxbatons have a larger number of students than Hogwarts.

     
  7. afrojack

    afrojack Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Did I misuse the word fleet? Either way, that was hilarious, but the specificity makes me think I made a mistake somewhere :p
     
  8. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    :awesome I died

    /10char
     
  9. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    So Beauxbatons students are gypsies?
     
  10. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    That's the romanticized version of gypsies. Gypsies in my country (and I imagine many, many others) tend to stand on corners begging for handouts or at traffic lights offering to wash your car.

    Wouldn't say no to Fleur Delacour doing the latter though.
     
  11. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    Not at all. And, thank you. :D

    So, Beauxbatons students were in Snatch? :confused:

    These crossovers catch me by surprise, sometimes...
     
  12. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    "--with Krum? You're fraternising with the enemy!" Ron said, spluttering.

    "Fraternising with the enemy? Zee Durmstrang champion?" Hermione asked.

    "We'll fuck me Ron, what have you been reading?" Harry added, surprised to hear the word 'fraternising' coming out of his friend's mouth.
     
  13. MattSilver

    MattSilver The Traveller

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    "There's Viktor Krum!" Ron said in awe. Turning to Harry with a grin, he continued, "They call him Viktor the Bludger Dodger."

    "Why do they call him the Bludger Dodger?" Harry wondered.

    "'Cause he dodges Bludgers, Harry."
     
  14. Aerylife

    Aerylife Not Equal

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    "Can't Dodge the Rodge, Harry."
     
  15. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Hrngh. Now I just really want to see a HP fanfic in the vein of Snatch/Lock Stock.

    oh wait, I already started writing one...
     
  16. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    Why did Snape want the Defence post? I mean, he had to know it was fucking cursed, after spending so many years at Hogwarts.
     
  17. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    I always thought it was mostly for bragging rights. I mean he was supposedly a prodigy in DADA as well as potions, but DADA was his first love.
     
  18. dmacx

    dmacx Groundskeeper

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    I've wondered that as well. Then again, Lupin made it out mostly whole.

    DADA might have been his first love, but I'm not sure about the "defense" part.
     
  19. Peter North

    Peter North Dark Lord

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    I've always thought things went hand in hand. He loved to study the dark arts so I'm sure he also learned quite a bit of defense.
     
  20. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Snape is canonically supposed to be a very smart guy and he is, no doubt. That said, he was also a dick and did some stupid things. Maybe he wasn't thinking straight when he wanted the DADA post or thought that the Dark Mark would protect him from the curse. Or he just didn't know about/believe in the curse in the first place and saw the things that happened to other professors as their own failures. Or his intervention, in Lupin's case.

    As for why... maybe he just wanted to corrupt young minds, maybe it was because he was sick and tired of Potions and wanted to teach something he really loved (and he did love Dark Arts, even Harry, or was it Ron? notices that in HBP IIRC).
     
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