Improved version:

 

I have seen the future. It has ten pages of Polandball.

And I've seen them all.

 

Yeah, someone should put a stop to this.

Anyway, here's something different. Some chuckle-worthy bans from 4chan.

 

Congrats to Amy Winehouse!

3 YEARS SOBER!

 

LKAB while PMC at a SBBQ.

 

Link

 

How many times have you self-raped yourself so far, DLP?

 

I Hell exists and masturbation is a sin, well, I'm fucked. Let's put it that way.

 

The thing is though, that in the particular Bible story the anti-masturbationists draw their inspiration, Onan, goes like this: Onan was told by God to knock up his brother's wife (his brother was already dead). Onan and his sister-in-law do the deed, but he finishes on the ground, not in her. God strikes him down for doing this.

I don't know about you, but that seems more of 'God told you to do something, you disobeyed, he killed you' than 'masturbation is evil' to me.

 

Its-a... y'know, a cheap sin. Mebbe thirty-five cents a pop. You-a cut-a back a bit... you might-a be okay, okay?

Talk to dis guy.

 

Hey friends, hate to burst your bubble, but the site http://stopmasturbationnow.org/weather/17-year-old-girl-stuck-by-lightning-when-masturbating/ is pure troll. They have a Rev. Leroy Jenkins, and the "Blackfriendfinder" is a dead give away. The same fake link is used in troll site http://nationalreport.net/ which attracts real commenters.

Or maybe you already knew all that and I have trolled me. If so, kudos.

 

I think we all worked out that it was fake pretty quickly. Anyone who's read The Onion is going to be familiar with that level of parody.

 

Man, Afterlife with Archie is pretty nuts.



Not pictured - Jughead breaking down over a zombified Hot-dog.