No, I'm not. I did compare canon and the latest chapter. There are slight differences, as I noted, but basically it's all the same. Tom goes on an egotistical villain monologue (tm), Fawkes blinds the snake, Harry kills the snake with the sword and stabs the diary with a tooth to kill the horcrux. Hermione sits there tied up. Lockhart goes oblivate crazy. The only moderate difference here is that Lockhart got dealt with after instead of before, and Tom's worldview is slightly tilted from canon.

Just because things are shuffled around a little does not an original plot conclusion make. It's basically like an character insert into cannon with the extra character is not really doing much and the same results occur.

The author has gone to all the trouble, for the entire story to subtly change canon without turning this into a Super!Hermione fic, and for the most part has done a really good job with it. He set up minor changes that made me think he was going in a totally different direction with each step and then at the end reverted back to cannon'ish form.

That's what I pointed out. That's what's disappointing and it's not an exaggeration, it's an observation.

 

It was quite similar but at least I noticed it day later, it was not an obnoxious canon rehash.

But yes, I would prefer more significant changes during/before fight (but results are massively changed).

 

Neville and Harry are probably obliviated, though the obliviate is possibly partial. Given that Harry was suspicious of Hermione already at the end of the fight, it's quite possible that this will really change things.

Also, Hermione was told AD uses legillimency on students, which means things will diverge on what she tells/etc, and she has access to Lockhart's stuff.

 

Quite entertaining for a HP story, a fandom I've found to be overall terribly boring for some time now. Hermione as the POV character works if you forget her canon character most of the time. The author is a deft hand with words, I enjoyed the dialogue just about everywhere. A few scenes and particular lines really worked and give this story and edge I wasnt expecting. Characters are well rounded and appear to have more depth then performing the action the story requires of them, in particular Lockhart displays more intelligence than canon and even exudes some menace in the latest chapter.

Heather may be right that the second year doesn't differ much from the original but I didnt mind it so much. Not to say there arent any problems. The author repeats a few phrases and themes rather a lot, like how Hermione mentions she doesnt need to watch over Neville's potions anymore about four times. Its not a masterpiece but a solid fic I think.

3.5/5.

 

Update.

Quickly becoming one of my favorite HP fanfics ever.

Hermione reminds me of Taylor/Skitter from Worm. The same position of having to put up a really cold, ruthless front to survive, which despite being false, slowly changes her. The aftermath of her killing Lockhart was done well. Just enough guilt without being too over the top. You don't forget she's still a young girl, but her resigned acceptance of the event also puts her apart.

Really didn't like the whole "Draco" kneeling in submission though without being prompted - just a bit too over the top for him. Even if he was terrified she was still going to do something to him. Apart from that, the scene was great and will set Hermione down a part where she'll need to act more and more ruthless to maintain her facade.

What I've really liked about the fic is it hasn't rushed her development at all (like I find many Slytherin!Harry fics do). She was a 12 year old dealing with bullying and school yard fights. The last two chapters have been the turning point that elevates her to join Harry in playing on a higher level of the game.

Upped from 4/5 to 5/5.

 

I don't like it (the latest chapter).

Too convenient how Harry got hit with Lockhart's spell and forgot everything he learned about Hermione's involvement. I fear that events will continue to line up in such a manner to benefit Hermione while preventing others from inferring what she's really like or on about.

In conclusion, I'm dropping the fic, ahead of schedule, before it turns to utter crock. It's solidly written, no doubt about that, I just don't like the way things are unfolding. I enjoy reading about the characters struggling, whereas for Hermione in this fic it seems it will be anything but.

Oh and the irrationality in confiding into Daphne and Blaise, while avoiding telling Dumbledore the truth, was particularly irritating. It just baffles me, 's all, seeing her so trusting in people she doesn't know all that well. I mean, they're more cardboard cutouts than actual characters, Greengrass and Zabini that is.

 

This is exactly how I see it too. I don't understand why Hermione trusts Blaise and Daphne when these two don't even have a character to speak of. I rambled about it enough in my review for that story.

I can still see some potential in it, but as a story goes on, I have more and more issues with it. If author won't make Blaise and Daphne real characters, this story will be nearly unreadable quite soon. Last few chapters need a rewrite, imo. Whole event in the Chamber should be rewritten and Blaise's and Daphne's character needs complete revamp. If dark!Hermione stories weren't so rare, I would stop reading too.

 

They seem to be on the rarer side because people go way off the rails with Hermione, more so than they do with dark!Harry. I mean, the latter has more reasons to turn dark, as it were, than the former. It's another facet of this fic that I was starting to get fed up with, Hermione's whining about Harry, while continuously being oblivious that what little he is afforded in this world came at the cost of his parents, while hers are fairly still alive. And living with the Dursleys, albeit she doesn't know about that in this fic what with being in different houses.

 

Can't quite agree with you guys, it's obvious why she trusts those two rather than Dumbledore. Those two are her peers and have stood by her side at least a bit and she knows they will continue to do so as long as she is succeeding, whereas Dumbledore is the ultimate authority at the school and seemingly favours people who are not her and by now, she was influenced by certain prejudices and thus doesn't trust Dumbledore anymore to be impartial.

Coupled with little things like awarding Gryffindor an excess of house points every year, nudges from various people and stuff like that, makes it clear why exactly she would go to Dumbledore, especially with stuff that paints her in such a bad light. Not to mention that she killed a professor, even if it was in self defense.

Harry was there with her when she declined Riddle's offer and he still was so wary as to not return her wand in such a dangerous situation, why would she expect Dumbledore to react better, especially since he can make her life really difficult quite easily?

As to Harry forgetting, yeah, seems to be a bit of a lucky break but it was already set up that Harry will regain his memories at some point, coupled with the fact that Neville remembers the most important thing, that she gave him the diary, will add some extra tension.

My question is, who or what the next big enemy is going to be. Parkinson was her foil in year one and in year two, she was nothing to her. Draco was her enemy in year two and he knelt at the end of the year. Slytherin as a whole, although that would be a bit lame. I also doubt that she will get a time turner since I can't see Snape advocating for her to get one and I doubt McGonagall will do so for a student who is in her rival house.

Then, of course, there is her killing Lockhart which is going to have consequences as well, especially since Malfoy knows.

So yeah, still liking this fic and am looking forward for more.

 

Agree with Radmar that Daphne and Blaise are terribly boring characters who just play the role of being Hermione's friends. No personality, background or anything interesting about them at all. I think I'd much rather have Hermione a lot more isolated than having a close relationship with them. It'd give a better reason for her to fall.

Disagree with you on the matter of her trusting them over Dumbledore though. Even in canon, Harry regularly tells his friends everything which he keeps from the teachers. He has a bit more of a close relationship with Dumbledore, but then he also has a bit more of a reason to. From first year, Dumbledore does a good job to be Harry's friend, which he hasn't done with Hermione.

He still knows that Hermione killed Lockhart. I imagine as much as he'll try his best not to judge her, it'll just make him that little bit cautious around her, which coupled with the fact she doesn't want to talk to him about what Riddle offered her, will create a barrier of distrust between them.

I disagree on that. Harry was still a pureblood, and in the Philosopher's Stone is very much a blank slate - a lonely kid looking for friends and purpose. I think if he was primarily exposed to Slytherins (who weren't as Dudley-esque bullies like Draco Malfoy), he may have been happier with them. Most of his magical development early on was given to him. Harry also never really cared that much about large scale social issues and injustices the way Hermione did - his involvement was always more personal or clear black-white battles.

Hermione is immediately iced out of Slytherin due to her blood, and she does have an obsession with learning. Isolation and fear would only help to accelerate her magical development. She also strongly attaches herself to social issues (say, SPEW in canon), and Tom Riddle has just given her a great reason to go against Magical Britain.

 

I'm sorry, what? He's a half-blood.

Also, Harry never cared much for the bigger issues, as it were, because his own life tended to interfere, what with the shade/shadow of Voldemort lurking in almost every single one of the books.

The upbringing of Harry and Hermione is very different as well. While Hermione may have the comfort of a home with loving parents who, more or less, accept her for what she is, Harry lives with the Dursleys. He can't find it in himself to think about much anything else when he's assailed from all sides with problems that concern him more than... well, SPEW shit.

But I do agree that Harry, for all his initial awe and wonder at all things magical, was sorely lacking in his desire to actual study magic. Then again, he was just that desperate to find some friends who wouldn't reject him. Kind of makes me wonder why he wasn't sorted to Hufflepuff, at times, despite all that he accomplishes in the future as a Gryffindor.

Hermione attaches herself to causes because she has nothing going for her in life, that's about the gist of it. Without a cause, she might as well be a character as worthy of mention as Hannah Abbot. She studies because she is socially isolated pre-Hogwarts. In Hogwarts, that continues, more or less so, but I still find it irritating how events just happen to coincide with benefiting her the most.

Yes, yes, there's the inevitable tension with Neville, but I think it's a safe bet that he's only going to be mildly cold towards her, perhaps even wary, before gravitating towards her again, despite what she's done to him and Harry (indirectly).

As for Daphne and Blaise, I just get the feeling they're there solely for the sake of the author having Hermione having converse with someone and not feel some kind of animosity towards them. That's their role in the story so far as I see it. Why the two of them are even friendly with her to begin with is yet another unresolved mystery.

Oh and a question for you folks whose minds are more clearer when it comes to recollecting these things: why was Hermione even sorted into Slytherin to begin with? Different childhood? Sat with different people on the Hogwarts Express?

It's been a while since I read the story initially and I honestly forgot.

 

JacobK has established their [Daphne and Blaise] personality as that of more or less pure Slytherins, i.e. what Slytherins should be based of the given criteria, Cunning, Ambitious, etc.
Therefor they do not particularly care about blood purity, and as Hermione has proven she is not only Powerful and talented, but cunning and ambitious aswell, they have recognised her as someone you want as an ally.

Their role, to my understanding, is to provide Hermione with a (friendly) connection to pureblood society, and provide her with advice and knowledge in situations where it is needed, i.e with pureblood culture and law etc. Bliase especially looks to be almost akin to a Consigliere for Hermione (or her own future Lucius Malfoy).

Everything was the same up to the sorting, Hermione was placed in Slytherin because the Hat read her personality differently than cannon, instead of just seeing her Ravenclaw logic and gryffindor courage, it also saw her cunning and determination as well as her vast amounts of ambition. She tells the Hat she wants to match, or beat, Dumbledoor's academic record, thereby eventually become one of the world most powerful magicals'. That's quite ambitious.

Essentially Jacobk doesn't actually change pre-sorting hermione from cannon but interprets her personality differently, and, in truth, he has a point, cannon Hermione has many slytherin attributes. He just has the Hat recognise them.​

 

Yeah, it's clear that is their function as story elements.

The problem is that they don't function as characters.

 

I think the best part of Riddle's little speech to Hermione is how...plausible it is. What with Purebloods killing each other off at a spectacular rate. That, in addition to not having enough children, having most of your line in prison if not dead, and Pureblood beleifs being now associated with a Hitler-esque figure, would quite simply destroy Pureblood dominance in Wizarding society. Or it could. Depends.

My only major complaint, is that this could have been one hell of an opportunity for sheer ballsy ness. As in, in addition to slightly increased competence for Lockhart, Harry doesn't get to fight the Basilisk.

No, Harry simply gets executed while still bound in the restraints that Riddle had on Harry. As in, no fight, just a Cutting Curse to the throat and the Basilisk venom to quicken the death. And then Riddle seals the memories of everything within Hermione, sets up a few details, walks out carrying the real Diary, blast Lockhart, and disappears.

Or just Harry gets executed. And the story goes on.

 

I don't think Harry dying would work. You need him still playing the hero, being drawn into these events because he's the BWL. In comparison, Hermione should be the type to make a conscious decision to start involving herself in these worldly conflicts. And I'm seeing a lot of subtle conflict between the two in the future.

I wouldn't have minded if diary Tom Riddle had survived, however. I can imagine him trying to involve Hermione into his plans more and more against her will. Deliberately setting up confrontations where he'd allow her to pull off Harry-esque wins. It'd put Hermione in this really awkward emotional position.

Without his diary memories, don't think Voldemort proper will have that relationship with her at all.

 

Not really no.

Again, no you don't, also what is a BWL in long hand?

Yes and? Frankly, while I love the series to death, lets call the spade a goddamned shovel already. The Harry Potter books are truly a work of artistry.

In the Ye Olde Arte of Deus Ex Machina. It is perhaps the most glorious and successful example in the last 100 years, probably longer. It is utterly magnificent in its awe and scope. But, at its core, its is started, fueled, sustained and finished, by asspulls of such depth and magnitude as to be utterly astounding and, truly, impressive in how they are crafted and the manner in which they pay homage to the Deus Ex Machina as a tool of story-telling. But it is what it is. No more, certainly no less.

As an aside, you can only read so many fanfics, until they start to blend together. You can only read so many stories until the patterns start to rehash. Which is why the Potter laws are, mostly, stupid. Some are silly and that's that, but the "srsbizniz" ones are mostly stupid. Why not kill Harry? This Voldemort demonstrates some social understanding of both Magna-Human Reactons and Social Trends and such, and apparently learn at the heel of Hitler and the reaction to him. Of course he would have been bullied for at least the first three years, especially in Slytherin. Why not drop the other Bond Villain stuff, execute poor Harry, and just go with it. Or hell, even drop the great announcement regarding Ginny's disappearance, and just send a letter to Hermione and Harry a day or two after the fact.

Gets Distracted.

I swear, one of the main, and most understandable and forgivable, weakness in the series, is the fact that Harry gets into so many blatantly suicidal situations, and makes a mockery of the Auror Corps reason for existence. Successfully fighting the Dark Lord in any way, hell, not being curbstomped into the dirt by the Death Eaters on the spot?

Really?

I guess the 5th movie got that right. A bit.

Back to it.

Even going pure known canon, go post story a bit. Now, recall that Voldemort, regardless of what many say, is not actually a complete idiot. Did he waste a year on the prophecy? Um, its not really a waste, since the prophecy got him killed. And he made use of the time to build up forces and use Lucius and such to manipulate things even further in his favor. Now, remember as he is panicking about his Horcruxes and goes "Well of fucking course" in regards to Dumbledore getting the Cave/Lake Horcrux?

Doesn't that read a little bit like someone who is guessing at what was going through the Dark Lord's mind?

And to think, of someone so utterly paranoid, trying to protect objects that mean as much, exactly as much, as his own life, would not only hide them in the same country, but hide them in places people could backtrack to him. With nothing more than his name and public records. Much less having known him personally like Albus FREAKING Dumbledore. Especially with the example of Ravenclaw's Diadem being in a tree half a continent away, the sheer distance apparently protecting from most would be thieves. Until Voldemort strutted along and busts up a millenia old secret with nothing more than flattery and good looks. To a ghost that can never hope to have a real kiss or make love.

That...just THAT. Damn, man, Dark Lord got some GAME. PUA ain't shit on Tom Marvolo Riddle.

Now think, why would Voldemort want to allow Mr. Chosen One access to his mind? And how long would it take him to deduce what Harry was? A damn site shorter than Dumbledore, who could only suspect until 2nd year. Now also think, exactly how do you get that connection stomped on? Completely? Destroy the connection. At all cost. The Battle of Hogwarts is so far from Voldemort's MO of fighting that its utterly absurd. He didn't win the war, or fight it, by waging pitched battles against bloody fortresses. He fought and won it through Guile. Now, having demonstrated and learned of the effectiveness of having supporters remain free and having great influence and no longer being suspected openly, and having seen the catastrophic damage that just a single year's of preparedness with no-one watching you, nay, not even caring enough to watch you, in fact, avoiding you, why not do it again?

So let's think. Crush the connection, and then play the quite waiting game. If Voldemort was still alive, and likely had most of his Horcrux's, in actuality intact and to the far ends of the Earth, then he has at least one major thing going for him

Time. And hundreds if not thousands of eye witnesses who saw him "die", leading to a whole planet fully believing he is dead. An Entire Planet. To Work With.

Voldemort was no idiot. He was fucking ingenious and utterly brilliant. It's just that no matter how much power, brains and brawn you have, Deus Ex Machina trumps all. Possibly. I prefer stories where someone who has put in that much effort and work, gets rewarded. Went on a bit didn't I?

Yeah, I can't really stand having the Trio reform for little reason, its a terrible cliche. It would be better if Malfoy, after say a...pointedly shameful confrontation on 9 3/4 with Lucius led to Draco being basically forced to drop it and show some dignity and honor. I won't go so far as advocacy of Hermione/Draco, regardless of the potential hilarity, but a Detente with Snape forcing the two to actually work together in potions and such, like, I dunno, telling them to Alternate who leads and decides in every other class or something.

Oh yes. Delicious fodder for new/original story. (I don't count shit writers who can't even perform spellchecks and proof-reading. Mizuni-Sama style stuff notwithstanding)

Hmmm....true. If the Diary lives and talks and saves Voldemort, they might have a discussion and stuff regarding Hermione.

 

We'll Harry is the Dark Lord Equal, so he is the only one who can challenge Lord Voldemort, and the diary memory can't kill him because it's only a shade of Voldemort

 

I'm still waiting for Hermione to step onto the Dark Path. I ain't seeing it and it ain't sit well with me. Oh, sure she got her first kill, but it's not like she wanted to do it. When the author marries the genius of Hermione Granger and the Cruciatus Curse in the summary, you kind of expect something to have happened after almost 100k words.

I'm not saying the story is bad, on the contrary--it's one of the better things I've read in the last 2 years, but I wish the action moved along a little bit faster. I suppose some people may enjoy playing the long game and I don't mind it if it's well written. That said, I think a time skip, perhaps to fifth year, wouldn't be an unwelcome sight.

@Knogg--it took me until almost the end of your post to figure out what point you were actually trying to get across. It has a very stream-of-consciousness vibe and also I don't feel too good, so my reasoning skills may be temporarily impaired.

There is at least one Potter Law that is absolute and must be followed and enforced at all times, without mercy or exception. Number 17. It's right and you know it.

 

Let me break this down for you. Fuck the Prophecy. Its nice, but thats it. It is not necessary for every fanfiction.

With all the Horcruxes destroyed, and possibly Harry too, Voldemort's shade might very well just disappear. And if it doesn't, then he would ne to make another Horcrux and quickly, or the first person to hit with an Avada Kedavra kills him. Technically, you could say that Harry fulfilled the prophecy well enough when Voldemort stormed Godric's Hollow as far as in-story writing goes.

She showed more immediate remorse than when Harry killed Quirrel. Different situations though of course.

Hmmmm, yet another intellectual Slytherin goes down the Dark Path? Hmmmm...

I wold prefer a Goblet of Fire story without a 4th or more contestant. Write something original to be happening during the year, give Harry a break and see how he handles a year off. Come on. Just once.

I either type as it comes to me, and come out with decent sized post, or...I just kinda blurb. Its a challenge/weakness/feature of mine that I have developed over nearly a decade of online pissing matches. Oh and understood.

You implying that someone with Alan Rickman's voice couldn't get laid? I mean seriously, ugly people get laid too. Or else they wouldn't be around anymore! Just remembered an idea I had about a drunk Severus and Lucius, trolling Muggle Bars after a Dark Revel, and a Petunia Evans out for the night before she finalized the hook up with Vernon.

 

I'll drink to that.

I don't care if he has Alan Rickman's voice. It's Snape.

edit: post 777. I like pretty numbers.