Greeting's DLP Knowledgable's

What I'm after in this gorgeous little thread (Courtesy of Mister Spartan), is for any talented writer to supply me with gigantic nugget's of gold.. Quite literally. The community seem's like my daily cup of tea, plentiful sexily cooked egg's (knowledgeable banter), with a slice of burnt toast due to inattention and ?????????.. Key word yo (The burnt toast is the one we all perhaps hate.. The stupidity which is 10 letter's merhaps?.. I have confidence that you'll know if you're a sexy egg birthing new life or a bit of burnt toast ready for the life fail bin and if anyone's offended.. Well, I say, I'll do what I want and damn the peon's as it's not my intention to p*ss people off, but if some self righteous pr*ck get's on my case I'll cast crucio at them and scowl at their pitiful self righteousness as they try to cast their failed banter/failed crucio at me because it's so bloody hard to read and laugh and of course the fact that they'll be burnt toast.. Most people don't like burnt toast so the scowl is justified. Long bracket's I know, get used to it bro's).

Burnt toast is burnt toast and unfortunately it's everywhere, it always pop's up somewhere and I scoff every time, but those amazing egg's (I'm talking about Mister Jon especially, let me squeal in a bit of non gay fan boyism) restore my faith in the world,... Haha, it wasn't the fix that got me interested in DLP, but Mister Jon, some post popped up one day and I watched as he destroyed some SRP (Self Righteous pri*k), actually got me interested in seeing the banters egg fiend's on here (After the IRC read's) and for a while I've always wanted to be a part of that, but unfort never got around to it.. I respect people who put self righteous p*rick's who don't have a justifiable reason down as it always lol's my lol center.. Sorry if I'm off the main topicano but I have a tendency to rant uncontrollably, bad habit I know in my personal opinion, people tend to get annoyed when they can't get a word in edgewise in rl conversation's but this is the internet yooo.. So I can rant all I want, but it's still uncontrollable on the keyboard so expect every post from me in the future to be long and ranteous with lot's of irelevant information. (Sorry for the Egg's and toast, but I'm a culinary student, nowadays I always reference burnt toast to idiot's, and sexy egg's to my inspiration's and interest's, bit a banter between my mate's in the past.. Now it's a cursed habit, although I've pulled quite a lot of losses by referring them to a sexy egg and making up many reason's why they're perfectly cooked.. Strange I know, but whatever work's and I'm sure any intelligent person know's what I mean ).

I'm not even on the reason I even posted this thread to be honest but we will be getting there soon mmkay?.. Anyhow, what was I saying.. Yes, I was going on about the egg's and toast.. Let me elaborate somewhat.. When I read I came across egg's and burnt toast, I'll let you guess which is which, but truly I'm rather becoming tired of it, the burnt toast usually overshadow's the sexy egg's and it's rather tiring and let's not forget disgusting and for the last somewhat 5 months my interest in Harry Potter fanfiction has dwindled exponentially and why? Well, because once you've eaten all the egg's all that's left is burnt toast.. You lose interest.. You try to keep interest, but when your mind mock's the burnt toast and you want to turn away in disgust your left with nothing but a plate of burnt toast and a few newly created or updated egg's. And that's what in my OPINION (Understand that all.. Let's say it all together O P I N I O N) turned me away, I really couldn't be arsed to sort through the burnt toast to find the sexy egg's because I have a life you know? I've read fanfiction since I was eleven (It is Hufflepuff, Loyalty beat's all) and even though I've never wrote anything (Even though I want too, and I could with the numerous plot idea's I have after year's of reading and thinking, but unfortunately it'll resemble burnt toast with my current experience level and I'll never destroy a plot to produce burnt toast as so many people do) destroyed'd my interest.. I remember the last fanfiction I read, (Resorted to character destroying slash unfortunately) but Jaded Eye's of Prodigy, I enjoyed, and got numerous idea's from it that don't correlate with the actual.. brilliant story, but I can only think of numerous way's it could be better (Not arrogance, I have no doubt I'll be destroyed in an author off, just saying because.. well we'll get there eventually. Barring the fact that if it was het, then it'd be brilliant, and I've dreamt many a time since I stopped reading that the actual story itself would have been better as het).. Ah, if only Tom Riddle was born as a female dark lady in Rowling's imagination (Female power FTW, Respect that) but in my OPINION even though it's slash and I can't immerse myself into it like I would a het, well all I can say is it's better as a slash because Het just doesn't fit with it you know? At least Hocrux harry is believable in the slash term of thing's, getting jiggy with Mister Riddle (OPINION) which is why even as a heterosexual male with the utmost respect for the female genitalia, I can appreciate such a work of art, and read most Harry/Riddle slash because it's the most cannologically sensible slash option (Harry/Draco, Snape/Harry, WTF, let me welcome you to ctrl+W).. No hate on gay's, I actually have several mate's who are gay, it's only the flamboyant one's that piss me off that believe they have to make a pathetic statement by acting as gay as possible (2 people when I was in school, got outed as gay, used to speak normally and now?.. how do they speak.. Helloooo Hawr awe yuuu duing tudayyyy?, well, some of my mate's are gay and they're like any regular bloke, without the hand waving and annoying speech, sorry if that's actually what you like (Flamboyancy) just speaking about the general term of thing's but anwho, how do's Drarry and god forbid Snarry make sense? At least a bit of a soul imprinted in your mind since birth make's it somewhat realistic.. Well, getting off topic again, sorry all.. .

Anyway back to the main topic, what I'm basically here for is for any experienced member to provide me with tip's, knowhow, on how to write a bit of fanfiction because even though I've had other more important thing's to do in my life than learn to write and create any story, it's still something I've always wanted to do because fanfiction has been a part of my life since the beginning of my teens, and after reading for year's I've alway's wanted to take it to the next level with my personal plot's, but burnt toast should never be made, and I'll never give them to other people because their MINE!, the daily session's of my current life like to take over any other aspect and I humbly ask you if you could care to share any tip's, link's, site's, and inspiriation, that could actually get me started on the creation of fanfiction.

The time's I've read fanfic and I've turned away in disgust.. because ya know glaringly obvious stuff that you could correct make's you want too.

I know how I'd want to make something better, but just assume I'm a retard, an imbelice, because I don't know how to write (Creative is easy, just the proccess that is involved in writing, setting up everything) and that's alway's been a problem for me because searching the internet to learn how to write just doesn't help, I'm a lazy creature at heart (Too much smoke) and I really can't be bothered to search for any relevant information to what I want and suffer the 1-10 minute's it take's to read a pile of crap, when I can be learning programming languages or out with my mate's, and story creating if that's what it's called has been on the backburner since i've finished highschool which was 3 year's ago, and the substance abuse has regrettably turned my past knowledge into swiss cheese..

But now, I'm tired of reading what I don't want to read and want to get writing what I want to write, so any pro informatiom, link's, and whatnot that relate to everything about creating a story or fanfiction from start to finish would be absolutely gorgeous,

I truly can't say I actually know how to write fanfiction, or anything for that matter to be quite honest :/ .. I'm an eighteen year old lad that got out of school with my qualification's and found myself interested in other pursuits, not all of them good so when I say I can't start a story to save my life I mean it, everything else was forgotten about quite horribly, my own fault, but not really my own fault, just the effect's different thing's had on me, I got stuck in the present with the daily session and new thing's, and when I try to recall my cute little interest's, it elude's me completely.

Any info any of you DLP's can provide me would be absoluletly brilliant and you'd have my uptmost thank's... Smile's

 

Are you incapacitated?

(Also, you are allowed to curse.)

 

Is that you cocaine?

 

Can I buy drugs from you

 

Well, I'll be incapacitated all I want and with an unimaginable toot up my nose, which is actually rather true to be quite honest, but any relevant info would be grand.. Mister Swiftie replies

 

Oooh, popcorn time!

 

Drug's for sale.. Drug's for sale.. 10 dollah, you want kitty yasshhh?

---------- Post automerged at 01:08 ---------- Previous post was at 01:06 ----------

I didn't actually know I was allowed to curse, because I can't be arsed to find out whether I'm allowed or not, so I moderated myself like a good little wippersnapper

 

To answer your question:

There is no secret to being good at writing. The only way to get better is to practice (though you can increase the speed at which you get better by immersing yourself in the kind of literature you want to write). First, though, you need to start with flawless spelling and grammar. Many people never graduate from this step, which is beyond pathetic. Style comes with experience.

Have fun.

 

What the fuck is this?

 

I've so run out of thumbs up but + to all the drug comments.

P.S. I need a new supplier for substances and like burnt toast BC buttered slightly burnt toast is totally crunchyum.

 

To answer a facetious question seriously: The best way to advance your writing is to observe what people like, critically. Then, pick it apart. Where are the critical words placed in a good sentence, how do good sentences flow, what are good words to use and when; you need to figure that all out. Then, there's the plot side of things, which I find infinitely more challenging.

The "true secret" might be something like, "The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made."

 

The secret is to realise there's a difference between demonstrating verbosity and being an overly wordy dill.

 

But Ozzeh, troll feeding is fun!

 

Damn.

I just glanced through is Wall-o-text, and came across this:

Son, let me make a suggestion: DLP probably isn't for you.



Oh, and inb4 wall of shame!