Well there is a story that did that...

But no, I just meant the idea of star-crossed lovers. Problem is doing it well while not making it a fluff fic and giving it a proper plot.

 

It's not the name that's important. Harry/Daphne, Harry/Tracey and Harry/Fem!Blaise are the same story. Done properly they could show a level of thematic and emotional maturity far greater than the boring everyone-pair-up-in-your-own-houses canon. That was, in my opinion, rather lazy and missed an opportunity to drive home a nice little message on tolerance to the kids reading.

Or it could be a tragic warning. Whatever. It would be much better than the Harry/Fem!Harry pairing we got in canon (Otherwise known as Harry/Ginny).

Of course most Harry/SlytherinPerson stories are Fix-it fics where the Slytherin's ambitious, intelligence and cunningness allow Harry to get the job done in record time. Oh well.

 

Agree with that except that they are not necessarily the same. They would have been, if we didn't have preconceived ideas of who those people are from common fanon development. I guess you could still write it in a way that contradicts what most other stories present as fact, but you'd confuse a lot of people.

EDIT:

For some reason I actually missed that the first time I read your post. You're right, as she wasn't really a canon character. However what I'm talking about is what fanon has established is her character. Basically, Slytherin, above average intelligence, pureblood, and friends with Tracey, that's about it tbh.

But yes, she COULD be whoever the author wanted her to be, because that wasn't canon.

You can say the same about just about any pairing that isn't Harry/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Harry/Luna though (I might have missed one). We really don't see much of any characters in canon at all.
EDIT: Clarification, much of any female characters Harry could realistically pair up with.

 

So, Harry/Umbridge is right out?

You're all welcome for the image now being stuck in your head.

 

Taking Umbridge?

 

So here's a thing that happens occasionally.

I see a fic with an interesting premise and open it up. The entire first chapter is a broad-strokes summary of the first 11-17 years of Harry's life. You know the thing. No characterisation, no details. Just a kind of list; 'Harry did x, then he did y, then he did z'.

That's vaguely annoying but I can generally life with it if its just one chapter. I usually just skim the chapter very quickly and skip to the good stuff. Those chapters are never actually important to the rest of the plot. Usually it runs 'yadayada betrayal, yadayada manipulations, yadayada bound magic, yadayada Harry leaves everything behind'. I can fill in the blanks myself.

What really makes me sad is when the entire fic is written like that. I've seen 60,000 word stories where the entire fic is 'Harry did x, then went to y, then killed z' with no pause for breath or reflection. Every now and then there might be a brief moment of 'small scale' stuff where Harry has a conversation with someone else or a paragraph long fight scene but most of the time we're told about Harry going to a place, doing a thing, then going to the next place.

It's not really a story, more like cliff-notes. If the premise is interesting then it seems like such a terrible waste.

 

I tried to helpfully critique a fic like that once. The writer ended up telling me that their style of writing was 'best' because it was easy to read and meant you could cover a large amount of plot quickly.

It felt so flat.

 

This takes me back. About a year and a half ago. I was doing the "all tell, no show" thing then. Not that I have a lot to brag about, but I've come a long way since coming to DLP.

To be on topic, here's a little tidbit that always has my rage level skyrocket to over 9000: when Harry (usually, can be someone else) is referred to as "young man" by the narrator in a specific way. For example:

Is it weird that I don't like it? For me, it makes the narrator sound like a pompous prick. Maybe it's just the fact that English is not my first language and I can't appreciate all of its intricacies, but I prefer to just go with "him/her" when referring to characters.

 

The author is forcing you to believe Harry isn't a kid and is extremely mature. That's the problem. It's ok if someone else says it, for example "What are you doing young man!". But yeah, when the author does it, it's just so forced.

 

You said it much better than I did. An while we're on topic of forcing a mature Harry down people's throats, I'm fine with that particular trope if there's a reason for it. It could be some event that makes Harry rethink things, some otherworldly reason, a spell someone put on him, whatever. But when it comes out of nowhere, it shows and it's jarring.

Also, how come that in most fics Harry never once has an episode where he just goes apeshit? He's a teenager with poor social skills (cuz Dursleys) who's pretty much told it's his job to stop Voldemort. Even in canon he got a few moments, like when he tore Ron and Hermione a new one after arriving in GP12 or went after Snape at the end of HBP with less than noble intentions. I actually wanted to see him just "Let It Goooo" so badly that I wrote it myself once.

/rant

 

I'd be really wary of dating Fem!Blaise. Who knows what her mom has taught her.

Because teenage rage and angst is so annoying? It can add to the character but it's really hard to do it well enough not to annoy the reader.

 

He used the cruciatus curse on a death eater for spitting on Mac Gonagal in book 7, I'd say he was close to letting go

 

It might be because I'm really tired, but this made me laugh exceptionally hard.

 

Someone writing *Scene Break*, shit that's annoying, completely breaks the immersion too. If you have such opinion of your reader, why even bother writing?

 

It's up there with ~start flashback~ and ~end flashback~

 

Some indication for a scene break is a semi-acceptable break from the flow in my book. Well, if we're talking about ff.net, which doesn't allow to skip a few lines, or has you use their default dash.

I've seen scene breaks of all forms and sizes, and I simply accept it as a given flaw of ff.net. Even if it says *Scene Break* each time, I'd be skimming over it and ignoring it entirely.

Now, people who have no consistent scene breaks forcing you to start reading each new one anew, they are an annoyance in my eyes.

 

Anger doesn't have to come together with angst though. I wouldn't even know how to write that (angst).

 

I can buy dots, lines and things like that. They are a need to the average. What I can't buy is SCENE BREAK, BITCH! It's like writing " Johnny kissed Marie, feeling the need for her growing. Marie responded to his hunger by laying him firmily on the bed, taking out her shirt with a newfound desperate hurry." And now instead of just fading out and such, then writing the after because I want to spare you my sad attempt to write sex, I write this:

"Then Johnny had sex with her. He took his penis and sticked it inside her vagina. In and out. Repeatedly. And then he ejaculated. Maybe she did too, I don't know enough about sex to know if that happens. They had intercourse and it was good. He fucked her. "

 

Using words for the 'scene break' is just jarring. They also need to no get lost in the text of the story; preferably they're centred or bolded or something. I have in the past been reading and gotten confused as to to why the scene changed only to find that the author written 'scene break' and had missed it

Personally I use 'o0o0o0o' and centre it. Nice and simple, and it does its job.

 

Why not just use the line breaks that most sites (ff.net, patronuscharm, etc.) provide?