Yep. God, I love that story. It has one of the funniest versions of Dumbledore I ever read.

 

I seriously don't understand this.

 

That's probably because you're obnoxious. You wanna sit on your high horse and say that DLP's established tastes are stupid, fine, enjoy the ride. I'm not saying you shouldn't argue with people - it's what many members do most of the time. But don't expect DLP to conform to you.

 

Simply put, Snape(in the books) is disgusting both physically and mentally. He doesn't deserve to have sex and it's vomit-inducing to imagine.

 

Snape is a disgusting human being, physically and mentally.

What the fuck is there more to know or understand?

 

I've always mentally likened Snape as a half Jew who joined the Nazis and got his Jewish crush and her family killed out of jealousy and spite.

That's something that's stuck in my mind since first reading the books as a kid.

Stand up guy

 

I take it you either haven't read/severely disliked Prince of the Dark Kingdom? Both Snape and Voldemort have an active sex life in that story- Snape has been shown (not graphically, thankfully) to have sex with multiple women while Voldemort is a confirmed bisexual who claims to have shared his bed with both Bellatrix and Rudolophus at the same time. In fact, Snape's love life happens to be a major and rather interesting subplot of the story.

Just because Canon Snape happens to be repulsive, both physically and personality wise, doesn't mean that he can't be written sympathetically while retaining the crux of his character. Prince of the Dark Kingdom is in the library with 146 votes and a 4.23 average rating, so there goes your Sex+Snape = Auto-fail! theory out of the water.

 

I have read Prince of the Dark Kingdom and I enjoyed it. I read it all in one day.

I still find Snape's character utterly detestable and despicable.

You can write him up any way you like, it doesn't change anything for me.

And I doubt that the people who voted so much for said fic did so because Snape was in it and had sex, it merely means they were willing to overlook something they didn't enjoy in favor of everything else that was done fairly spectacularly well.

 

I've heard the Knockturn Hags will help you bust a nut for a knut or two.

 

And they'll do the really sick stuff for a sickle.

 

You don't even want to know what a galleon will get you.

 

"Muh asskissing" "Muh appeal to Popularity".

---------- Post automerged at 03:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:36 PM ----------

According to what? Exactly? He is mildly snarkly for the most part, and the handful of times he is outright nasty? So? Shall I post some examples of human being that it actually is vomit inducing? You seem to have a weak stomach.

That this is basically a shit opinion. At worst, he has a noticeable nose and isn't all cherries and berries. Oh my gosh, he doesn't kiss Harry Potter's little ass and worship the ground he walks on. Oh no. Oh no, he doesn't think to highly of Sirius Black, regardless of how things turned out in regards to Pettigrew. Oh dear, its not like Black is an overgrown manchild, who simply hasn't had much time to grow out of what he was at Hogwarts, what with Azkaban and all.

Oh dear. He has no patience with a student who completely fucking hates his guts and has never made it a secret. How horrible. Oh dear, he may have lost his temper when Harry violated his privacy in a way that he should have grown out of at 10 YEARS OLD. Wow. Want me to go down the list in canon of nearly every interaction they ever had? Most of it is imminently reasonable, if not slightly humorous.

---------- Post automerged at 03:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 PM ----------

Liar. PotDK is a million word plus fanfiction. You're a goddamned liar.

 

Let's see. Entire day of constant reading without sleeping, eating, drinking, etc. It's 24 hours, or 1440 minutes, or 86400 seconds. That story has 1 253 480 words. That makes Odran's reading speed fourteen and a half words per second. Wow. Odran is actually some kind of genius.

EDIT: That's nearly nine hundred words per minute. According to google, top readers are able to read one thousand words per minute. So it's technically possible.

 

Look, Knoq, it's obvious you're a butthurt Snape fanboy, who will go beyond reason to justify why verbally humiliating (while also being physically imposing and mentally intimidating) an 11 year old child is a perfectly sane response to his own childhood issues which should have died along with James Potter. Yes, let's blame the kid that doesn't even remember his parents, that sounds completely logical, for the things one of his parents did when he was a kid himself. I'm sure Snape never did anything wrong, right? I bet it's just because Sirius and James were mean to him that he turned to Voldemort. I bet without him he would have ended up with Lily. That's sarcasm by the way.

Right from the start, Snape knew what he wanted and had no qualms about joining up with the same crowd that wanted to either kill or enslave the likes of Lily, simply because they thought her blood somehow was less worthy than theirs. He had no qualms about other muggleborns getting fucked up by either Death Eaters outside the school or getting bullied and tormented by the Slytherins within Hogwarts. He's one of the most selfish cunts. Even his help against Voldemort was fueled by extremely selfish desires, about wanting to get vengeance on the man that killed Lily. That's all.

Snape's an asshole. Plain and simple. No one expects him to worship Harry Potter's ass. Least of all Harry himself. Harry didn't hate him from the start because he got some gut feeling about him. Harry didn't like him because Snape was an outright cunt right from the very beginning.

I never said I read the Prince of the Dark Kingdom in one day as it is now. Back when I first read it had between 700-800k words. I tend to reread it from time to time, to refresh my memory before another update strikes. Also, it's not like I kept close watch on the clock to measure the exact time I spent on reading it, but I do recall that I went without sleep for one night before I finished it on the next day. But you go ahead and take everything literally.

 

I've always associated Snape with Joffrey Baratheon.

Both are cruel and both are immune from punishment because they hold a position of power.

Joffrey Baratheon fucking sucks, but at least he was just a kid.

 

I feel as though it'd be good to remember the words of nonjon.

Returning to topic: almost anything that fanfiction has showing Goblins as high society and really just misunderstood creatures. They're vicious bankers- not kind.

 

More of a Pet Peeve.

 

As is most of this thread.

Also, anyone using Prince of the Dark Kingdom to shore up their argument needs to realize this one, truly important, piece of information regarding that fic: it's a piece of goddamn shit.

 

I'm reading it now, and just finished Second Year.

I honestly am not sure if it's a reasonable story, or a Cliche-ridden piece of nonsense.

On one hand, someone put an insane amount of dedication to write it, there are aspects to the Universe I find interesting, the Author subverted Hermione/Draco and Hermione/Snape in a decent way, and I'm guessing it's one of those Fics that started Cliches (like 'kidnap Muggleborns and put them in Orphanage')

On the other hand, you have "Pagans Good, Christians Bad" Cliche, "Bash Ron to the Ground while making the rest of the family good people" Cliche, "Sirius/Remus Slash" Cliche, Harry's official name is Harold (why is it so hard for people to understand that his name isn't Harold, Harrison, Hadrian, Henry, or Lord Potter-Black, but Harry fucking Potter!), constant references to how amazingly tolerant Wizarding Society is with gays and lesbians without ever actually talking about it while never properly dwelling on how bigoted they really are to Muggles (to the point where they kidnap children from their parents, force squibs to live in perpetual servitude, arrest Arthur Weasley and split the family apart for the horrid crime of tinkering with Muggle stuff, and all muggleborns end up with an inherent stain for the rest of their lives, even if they spent most of their lives with Wizarding families), Voldemort is unnaturally interested in Harry from their first meeting, even though he's freaking eleven, Tom clearly lusting for Harry for most of his screentime to the point where I'm surprised he didn't actually do anything sexual, "Harry is obsessively devoted to Hermione almost immediately" Cliche, and my perpetual fear that it will lead to Harry/Hermione (a Pairing I have a natural aversion to).

So while I can't bring myself to say it's a terrible Fic, I certainly have mixed feelings about it.

 

I thought that too. Then I kept reading.

It gets worse.

Or, a better way of looking at it is: It jumps the shark entirely.