Hindi, man. Try it. Kicks English in the ass.

/drunk

 

Ich auch

German officialese is much worse.

Russian is worse. Believe me, I know it. It's my mother tongue.

 

I assumed as much. Russians seem to think life is only worth living if they make it as hard as possible. Portuguese is firmily on the medium-easy languages, english and spanish at the easy. Others, don't know.

 

Portuguese-Canadian, can confirm portuguese is pretty easy to learn, even to a tounge tied idiot like myself.

My brother, who's turning into quite the polyglot, tell's me Korean was suprisingly easy to learn, but then he's a gifted little shit.

 

To get things back on topic, I just tried reading Time Turned Back and holy shit is that fic horrible. I barely made it past the first chapter but here are some time travel pet peeves of mine:
Evil!Marauders. Yeah, they might be jerks at times, especially concerning Snape, but they're good at heart. Making them out like they're the ultimate school bullies and that they routinely endanger the health of people is ridiculous. (The fic even has a self absorbed and uncaring Lily, which is utter nonsense.)
Harry being unfazed by travelling back in time several decades. It's all cool man. I'm just never going to see my friends and everybody I know again, but I'm not even going to acknowledge that because it's hard for the author to write about. That being said, I do hate it when they spend 50k words on angsting about getting back etc. so I might be hard to please.
Snape's a bastard. He was a bastard to Harry and he was a bastard when he went to school. Don't sugarcoat it and don't make him friendly. It's unnatural.
Harry changing his first name to something else. Why is that necessary?! Sure, change your surname but unless you have a damn good reason you should keep your first name because, oh I don't know, you might get confused when people start calling you Gabriel.(gag)
Adding recent events to the universe. It's set in 1991-7 you imbeciles! Don't make references to your favourite show or fandom unless they belong to the time period. Even then, you better have a damn good reason for Harry to be aware of any popular culture since I doubt he got to see a lot of TV, read comics or play video games.

 

Inserting Snape into fanfics for no reason whatsoever. I'm working on a common cliche parody. If nothing else this should be fun.

 

I'd like to see a cliché slash parody with Snape, Malfoy and Voldemort in it.

 

I don't write slash sorry. I refuse to need brain bleach for my own work.

 

Hogwarts is somehow alive and can take the form of a beautiful woman (who usually sleeps with Harry).

 

Or at the very least becomes a substitute for his mother.

Oh and the RoR conveniently providing a copy of some book that's otherwise hard or near impossible to reach is just a minor pet peeve. I've read, in one fic or another, how Harry used the RoR to circumvent needing a pass for the Restricted Section, and the books, or copies of them, just appeared in the room itself. At the time, I thought it neat. Then I started encountering it in more and more fics.

 

Slash parody.

 

I've never come across her sleeping with Harry.

This is all too common. Too many damn variants of "Hogwarts taking the form of a human, and bitch-slapping Dumbledore back to the stone age" 'cause reasons.

 

It was pretty funny the first time around. But that's probably the reason why it became a cliche.

I'm actually not against a sentient Hogwarts in itself. The idea that a castle, where witches and wizards have passed through for over thousand years, reaches some kind of awareness is neat, if overdone. It's just the part where the author tries to make it a person that bugs me.

Mhh. Now that I think about it, I can't remember ever reading about a male Hogwarts. The Sorting Hat as a 'male' spokesperson, but never the castle itself as male.

 

But that would be icky when Harry has sex with Hogwarts!

 

"Icky"? Well, that's a matter of taste.

 

You know, Harry carving a hole into Hogwarts' walls and sticking his dick into it sounds like an interesting oneshot. I have to ruminate about that.

 

It's a thousand year old castle, saturated on a daily basis with god knows how much magic. I think it can form its own holes whenever and wherever it pleases.

Did you really think that all of those were actually just doors? Hah!

 

Gives the word 'trapdoor' a whole new meaning.

 

I am sad now. =(

Also drunk.

 

The power be knows not ending up being HarryP getting a Demonreach like symbiotic connection with Hogwarts sounds like a pretty awesome idea imo.

Would give a whole new reason for V to hate Harry, especially if him trying and failing was the actual reason why he didn't get the DADA position, culminating in him being cast out.