SB has a small attention span

 

Probably school.

 

Yes, Lung is almost absurdly overpowered here. Another complaint with the fic is it doesn't explain why the hell does Lung pay so much attention to Taylor in the first place, especially considering the fact that Taylor seems much less competent here compared to her canon self. Also, the heroes seem much less antagonistic towards Lung than they are towards the villains in canon- which makes no sense considering how the Undersiders were viewed after they took over BB in canon. Still, there are lots of enjoyable parts- I loved the worldbuilding and Taylor getting to fuck Emma over felt very good.

 

Pretty much. That and not that many proficient writers. Hell just look at the "Idea thread" and bam you can see many short and sometimes interesting ideas.

But enough for a full story?

Noooot really.

 

Just got up to date in Atonement. Has just become my favourite Worm fic by a large margin. Cenotaph was a piece of art, but story wise I'm enjoying Atonement more. Definitely would recommend everyone read it and not to be put off by the main character being Madison.

It has so many things going for it. Unlike most Worm fics, it's not just a typical SpaceBattles fare of exploring singular concept like Taylor getting a new powers and seeing how she reacts to all the same scenes and events. It's a completely new story. All the events are completely unique, the alliances and relationships between even periphery characters are unique and one of the things I'm enjoying the most is that it explores many characters we only saw glimpses of in canon and in the fandom.

Another thing it has done good to this point is not accelerated the development of the protagonist too much. In most Worm fics, within a few chapters, Taylor is dealing with Cauldron conspiracies, plans to bring down the Endbringers, etc. In Atonement, as powerful as Madison is and as ridiculous as the people she deals with are, she's still not really operating at that level yet and pacing like that is what make it a proper story.

Spoiler

I love the whole Bonesaw/Dinah/Pandora/Emma thing. It seems like a retarded concept that would come out of SpaceBattles, but when they're these elusive side characters instead of protagonists, it suddenly becomes a really cool thing.

Speaking of Emma, I've generally never particularly liked Emma redemption scenes. But holy shit, that scene was one of the most emotional things I've read in written fiction in my life. The feels.

And the interactions and relationships: Battery/Assault/Madison, Rune/The Wards, Emma/The Abominations, Madison/Riley, Madison/Emma, Wards/Undersiders and let's not forget the my new OTP Worm pairing, Madison/Sundancer. Reading the interesting dynamics between characters (often former enemies) in Worm canon was one of my favorite aspects of the story and Atonement also has a lot of that, with a decent enough pacing for every friendship that it doesn't feel too much like SuperBestFriends.

Mixed feelings on the Birdcage arc. While I've always wanted to see more stuff from the Birdcage, and while Ruin is adorable, Glastig is awesome and the Trevor thing was actually done quite well, it feels like the story accelerated way too fast. There was that leap into world-changing events, epic prophecies and dealing with legendary figures too abruptly and with that over, I'm wondering how the author can keep the fic from losing its momentum. Ah well, we'll see.

Edit:

Spoiler

If I was to make one criticism, it's that since Coil, the enemies have been taken out just a bit too easy. Like Teacher could have been a way more interesting villain, instead of his plan being a complete flop. It almost feels like once the 'mystery' is solved, Madison are her friends have no issues taking out the bad guy. In that way, I suppose it is becoming a bit of a SuperBestFriends fic.

 

Thoughts on Atonement. Overall a 4/5:

Spoiler

Atonement is written well and is definitely exciting and original. But there are a bunch of elements that rub me the wrong way:

1. Pandora as a character sucks. Her original introduction as a Noelle clone is great and a nice original enemy-- but then she somehow frees herself of her 'must protect Noelle' compulsion (something of a SOD breaking moment for me) and becomes pretty boring. Her blank slate character bores me.

2. Coil is over the top evil in his alternate timelines. He was an asshole in canon and indulged himself occasionally (killing Pitter in one timeline) but it seems cartoonish in Atonement.

3. Madisoon/Sundancer is really weird for me. The biggest thing is the age gap-- they're 15 and 19 (IIRC) respectively, which is pretty strange, and the F/F pairing just feels like pandering to me since it comes out of nowhere (Madison doesn't check out girls before this or even mention their attractiveness in her internal dialogue.) The relationship, once it gets going, is also super cutesy, which is just strange to me. But I usually hate all shipping/pairing, especially in Worm, so this is a minor point overall.

4. Madison's fight banter feels wrong too.I get its supposed to be a coping mechanism or something, but fight banter usually feels off.

 

I have to say, every time someone comments on that story it makes me want to read it even less.

 

Your loss, it's great.

 

Hmm.

Personally, I find that godawful "Taylor is a lesbian mime" story idea to be a more compelling one than "Madison as a main character."

But hell, I'll give it a shot.

Edit:

I got to chapter 3, don't think I'll keep reading.
Bad dialogue, unfunny jokes, bland writing, uninteresting plot/characters. 1.5/5

 

Agree 100%. Except I'm probably behind you and hoping that something interesting happens with 1.

On Point 3: It's funny that we get this sort of thing in a fandom where the author deliberately came out and have a huge argument explaining how and why Point 3 is pandering and why he avoided it. And yet...we still get a ton of said pandering.

 

There's the Butchers Bill on ff.net (and spacebattles).
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10836861/1/The-Butcher-s-Bill

Butcher is allergic to bee stings.Taylor accidently kills her and becomes the next Butcher, though her superpowered multitasking allows her to keep control for now.

The fic originated from FF.net, but migrated to spacebattles after a spacebattler found it and invited the author over. It's a pleasant change of pace, many fics from spacebattles carry the same general feeling and this ones from outside.

The positive side is Taylors monologue. Much more in character then usual. The other characters are in character too.

On the negative side, it's really not far along, the plot hasn't even started yet and I'm doubtful the author can pull of internal shizophrenia struggle against the Butchers well enough (really, I can't recall anybody who pulled something like this of convincingly).

 

Yeah, the problem is that the internal monologue will always be compared to Carnage's, which was great.

Also: bee stings and multi-tasking were a bit goofy.

 

A Worm fanfic has been in the works, but I'm still undecided as to how much of Taylor's personality and character to change.

The dilemma:
The more that I change, the less like canon it is, and the more I'm allowed to write interesting and novel stuff. Else we get a lot of what-if-Taylor-had-X-power. But of course, the more you chance, the less people are able to see the character as Taylor.

It's that same problem that HP had many years ago - we're used to Harry-but-not-really by now, but I'm not sure to what extent Worm tolerates such a thing - given the strength f the original story in general, and the distinctness of Taylor's own personality in particular.

 

Considering how insane the Worm universe is, all you need is one small change to go truly crazy. I very much disagree with the idea that the more you change the more interesting it can be, as it can already be quite interesting.

 

The difference between Harry and Taylor is that Taylor is a canon!bad-ass. Harry isn't.

So if you change Harry, you are changing a wimpy character into (probably) someone the reader can respect a little more. If you change Taylor, you (probably) aren't.

Still, if you can do it, and make it compelling, then go for it.

 

I'm not sure I'd describe Taylor as a bad-ass. To me a bad-ass is the type of character that walks into a room and immediately knows they are the most dangerous person in it. Someone who can kick multiple arses at the same time without breaking a sweat. Lung would be the stereotypical bad-ass of Worm.

Taylor's character is more nuanced then that. She is very similar to Harry Dresden in a number of ways. The kind of character who so long as they believe they are right will fight tooth and nail to achieve their goal. At times Taylor can be remarkably short sighted (ironic given she wears glasses). So focussed on her immediate goal that she misses the bigger picture happening around her and as a result ends up out of her depth and over her head.

The whole bullying plot is a pivotal part of the series and its an important part of her character. At the start of Worm Taylor has placed super heroes up on a pedestal. She has this idealised version of everything a hero is supposed to represent, she plots out everything in her notebooks but doesn't take any assertive steps towards achieving anything, becoming a hero is a form of escapism for her. After she bumbles her way through the fight with Lung the Undersiders become another form of escapism, out of all the members of the Undersiders Taylor's motivations are by far the most selfish.

It is not until she encounters Dinah in Coil's base that she begins to take responsibility for her actions and her character starts to grow up.

One of the problems I have with fanfiction portrayals of Taylor is that they tend to gloss over her flaws. They are in too much of a hurry to make her a badass and so they attmept to magically fix all the other problems in her life like her social skills and relationships with her Dad and the school.

 

I assume he means Harry's complete and suicidal lack of interest in training or expanding.

However I'd say that there's a ton about Taylor that you can change to make her more respected. Her aforementioned passivity. Her decision-making and rationalizations (culminating in believing that saving a little girl is a form of ablution that will cleanse her of her sins) etc.

 

I'm amazed that you're still complaining about this 2 years later. Taylor does eventually stand up to her bullies. She punches Emma in the face after her concussion. She also gets in a fight with Sophia in a book store. Let's also not forget she traps Sophia with electric wire and has Regent gain control of her body, which is quite fucked up.

Meanwhile, Harry Potter actually names ones of his sons after his bully (Snape).

Of the two, I am far quicker to call Taylor a badass. I mean, she does kill Alexandria after all, over pretty much nothing. Harry Potter kills Voldemort with the power of love, and only after he tried to be a martyr (though burning Quirrill to actual ashes with just his hands is pretty badass).