The Psychic Serpent trilogy, three times. The writing is worse every time, but it still has some cool ideas.

 

The author's gonna find you and write here? As if that'd be so bad. If you don't like him writing here, have him banned or something like that.

 

Wouldn't be the first time.

It was pretty bad.

I think we did.

Some of the old Teen Titans fics I used to read have a lot of cringe-worthy, corny anime bullshit in them that becomes far more noticeable whenever I get nostalgic and look them up now than they did back then, but for some reason they still stick with me.

 

This is one of the first stories I read back then. I still think it's great. lol. Best part is the Rex coming out of the ground during the train ride. Just fucking awesome-sauce!

 

I don't remember the name of the story, but the plot involved Harry traveling back in time to hiss parent's time in hogwarts and having a pheonix. When I first read it I thought it was amazing. Later when I reread I realized it was completely horrible, filled with typos, and had nearly no redeeming qualities. I wondered how I had ever liked it.

 

Granted, it's been a while since I read these, but I don't remember the writing being particularly bad (for fanfiction).

 

The writing is not bad, it was actually excellent - there was a reason people thought the psychic serpent actually was the 5th HP book. And the 6th book gets a 9/10 rating from me, to this day.

The major problem was the ending. It rotted the series from the inside... why reread or recommend this to anyone once you know how it ends?

Barb, I think, had a different vision of the greater message of the HP series that JKR [or even any other ff writer]. I remember her defending the ending [paraphrasing] "I am certain JKR will end the series the same way I ended mine or

Spoiler

at most she will have Harry lose his life in the end, instead of his magic

.

I suppose one possibility is, JK read the PS trilogy and wanted to prove her wrong...

 

I want to read a fic where a classically Independent Harry calls them the Order of the Fried Chicken and Kingsley gets really pissed off and calls him a racist.

 

I've had this notion for a while that Fawkes' voice sounds like Barry White when heard by those who can bird-speak the way a parselmouth speaks to snakes, so really it'd be up to the phoenix to get offended.



(related scene I had stuck in a bad idea file)

"Hello, Fawkes."

"'Sup, bitch."

Harry snapped his head up to face the magical bird.

"Did... you just...?"

"Whassup? Don' you hear good? Fuck, bitch!"

"Umm, how many people can understand you, Fawkes?"

"First off, bitch, it's FOX! Stupid-ass butt-bangin' Elrond motherfuck is tellin' people my name's Fawkes, like I only been bangin' 'round this sad-shit hole of an island since the 1600's. Sheeeit!"

"OK, Fox. Question stands- am I the only one who understands you?"

"You don' understan' Jack shit! That musty wrinkled-ass cob-knobbler hears me fine an' I can lay down with the hens like a submariner outta vaseline, dig?"

"No, but then I still can't believe I'm hearing Barry White from a self-igniting pigeon."

 

I also re-read The Brave New World a few times a year. Vorlons Scorpion Sorcerer is atrocious at this point, I enjoyed it when it first came out. Anarkia by Naia isn't the most well written fic, but I will always enjoy it.

 

Why would Kingsley suspect Harry of using some relatively obscure American English racist insults, with the whole cultural isolation of Wizarding Britain?

 

Why is there that "she Fawkes like a porn star? What does that mean?" joke in A Black Comedy? Because it's funny.

 

Harry Potter and the Children of Change.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6764665/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Children-of-Change

It's my shame to re-read this on occasion, here's a little of what's in it if you haven't read this pedophiliac time travel story.

-De-aged Tonks to Harry's age
-Metamorphmagi Harry
- Ron/Dumbledore/ general Weasley Bashing
- Sometime after year two time makes no more sense
- Hermione and Tonks deciding to share Harry and date each other as well at the age of 12
- Flying Harry
- Harry Impersonating a native american mentor for himself (time turner enabled)

 

Probably Deprived by The Crimson Lord. I've re-read it 3 times. Even with all the cliches (swords, parents hate Harry but love his brother, super Harry, etc.) and 2D characters, I still love it.

 

Interestingly, it's the first time I've seen a genuinely remorseful Lily and James after the fact. Not that it excuses the absurdity of the situation in the first place, but still... Good guilty pleasure.

 

A Brave New World and Bellerphon's other fic " Harry Potter and the Final Straw"both are terrible but I've read each of them at least 3 times over the years.

Both fics use the same OC's with the same backstory and they play almost identical roles in both (I believe "OldCrow" also used to do this as well).

One of them has Nike making brooms, I have no idea why this bugged me so much but it did.

And both are the quintessential "oh my god Magical Great Britain is hated by everybody" fics where the author assumes they can create a better, more modern, magical society where everyone gets alone.

I think I was drawn to them because it's one of the few fics I could find that actively bashed Hermione, and that appealed to me a few years back for some reason.

I've also read Fettucini's "Knowledge is Power" about a half dozen times and that story has no redeeming qualities.

 

robst fics, well most of them i got to 2nd or 3rd year of harry crow before i gave u, near the part about training with weapons in the backyard

 

Harry Crow, Aspirations, Rise of the Wizards, and Thanks to a Snake. I'd like to think my tastes have improved since then.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7583739/3/Harry-Potter-and-the-Most-Electrifying-Man

Harry Potter as raised by The Rock.

Oh wait worst? Well that would have to be Changes, the ones with the ring powered Chaos magic siblings. Its just dumb.

I'm okay with both of these. I also frequent exhentai. The two may be related.

That doesn't make any sense. African Americans and the Deep South are a bit separated from the British Blacks.

Just a bit. By a small moat.

 

Harry Potter and the Hero's Path by TheJackOfDiamonds.
-) Super!Harry.
-) Runs away with two OC, one of them happens to be the heiress of Ravenclaw and learns magic on his own.
-) Evil/stupid Snape.
-) Slytherin house not living up to its name and following Draco Malfoy, despite his humiliating defeats at Harry's hands (with one or two exceptions).
-) Gryffindor house full of predjuced idiots (Weasleys look especially bad).