Don't be shy, give it a try.

 

Please just stop. If you really want to discuss this further go use one of the existing threads. No one wants to see this thread derailed by it.

 

I wouldn't mind moving on. Here, talk about this instead:

During the Battle of the Seven Potters, a strong dose of Applied Phlebotinum sends Alastor Moody back in time about six months.

He wakes up in Harry Potter's body in the Gryffindor 6th-year dorm just after the Christmas hols. Immediately suspecting he's been Polyjuiced and Obliviated for reasons unknown, but inevitably nefarious, he captures and interrogates the first person he comes across.

Ron and Hermione fear for their friend's sanity when they walk in on Harry magically waterboarding Dean Thomas.

Moody never quite gets over his paranoia that everything around him is a Matrix-level conspiracy, and doubles down on his standard "shoot first, shoot second, fuck questions" attitude.

Romilda Vane slipping him Love Potions? Burgeoning Dark witch; better waterboard her.

Slughorn being a bit shifty about a memory having to do with Voldemort? What have you got to hide, "Horace"? If that's even your real name. Aguamenti!

Ginny throwing herself at him after a Quidditch match? Obvious victim of the Imperius Curse. Stunning Spell to the throat!

Some blonde ponce throwing a Dark curse at him in a girl's bathroom? Accio Draco Malfoy's eyeballs!

...and so on.

 

That could make for a decent Crack-Fic. I'm assuming, of course, that this was intended as a Crack-Fic and not something serious.

Also, what a coincidence you're talking about a waterboarding-happy maniac after that Senate report was released.

 

Magical waterboarding. It's totally different.

 

I'd be interested to see a fanfic focusing on Ron as a literal Chessmaster. Instead of becoming an Auror post-Hogwarts, Ron decides to devote his time to becoming a chess grandmaster, in both the Wizarding and Muggle world. I could see it written in the style of Jbern's Number Games, except with chess instead of Quidditch. Bonus points if you manage to pull off a Hikaru no Go fusion - again, with chess as opposed to Go. Tentative titles could be Searching for Ron Weasley or Ron Weasley Against the World.

 

I remember reading a one-shot about Harry getting annoyed at Ron bragging about always winning at chess and going to a park to learn how to play. The Patil's were involved, and Ron kills himself in the end IIRC.

 

Perspicacity's Adventures in Child Care and Other One Shots Ch. 5: Wizard's Chess. It's a subversion of the "Ron as brilliant Chessmaster" trope in that Ron actually sucks at chess - it's just that everyone at school is worse than him.

 

Rorschach Blots' Lord of Caer Azkaban parodied it.

 

To be fair, we did hear that "wizards are terrible at logic" so it would make sense that all the other wizards are terrible at chess since it's a logic based game.

 

An idea came up. See if you lot like it.

Part 1 (for now):
Starts some months post HP epilogue.

An otherwise uneventful day until the goblins of Gringotts contacted the Ministry and actually ask for help. Hit-Wizards were called, but almost as soon as they arrived they called for more backup - much more backup. A fiery creature of great magical power was rampaging from the depths of the wizarding bank. Harry, Ron and the Aurors were mobilized and joined force with the goblins, but even so it was only after hours of pitched battle that they subdued the creature.

Afterwards, the Ministry demanded answers. The goblins were tight-lipped about their secrets, so the wizards had to investigate this themselves. Experts were brought in, including magical zoologists Rolf and Luna Scamander; however they couldn't make much headway. Meanwhile, Harry and his (surviving) Aurors were sent to St. Mungo's, then the Department of Mysteries, for an emergency checkup due to off-the-scale dark magic. Hermione, another leading investigator, took Harry's memories and viewed it in a pensieve. She noticed something that Harry hadn't, in the heat of the battle; the creature was bellowing words. It was speaking, and two words clearest of all:

"Dagor Dagorath".

The end of the world is at hand. The battle of battles was about to begin.

---
A HP/LotR fusion. Thoughts?

 

HP is so fucked, it's not even funny. Better to make this at least several decades post-DH, when Harry has had some time to grow into his own power, rather than have to rely on the power of extraordinary luck and friendship.

 

Strangely familiar...

https://forums.darklordpotter.net/showpost.php?p=691653&postcount=298

 

Oh swell. :facepalm

 

The "end if the world" bit is different. The problem there is that we already know the good guys win. It would be hard therefore to give the conflict meaningful stakes.

Would also be hard to maintain Harry's significance once the army of the Valar descends on the Earth. An army including every elf that ever lived, including dead heroes such as Feanor. Not to mention a host of Maiar, eagles the size of mountains and the Valar themselves...

 

I don't know why, but this sort of calls out for a Lovecraftian eldritch abomination. Somehow, digging deep and finding an Old One gives me the shivers. He's even given a sort of background for such a tale through the story, "The Festival".

 

Fic where someone has kidnapped Snape and successfully replaced him with a giant animated turd... and no-one notices.

M Night Shyamalan twist: you get to the end of the fic and it was in fact Snape all along.

 

Actually, my idea was that

Spoiler

All living wizards were descended from the two Blue Wizards that disappeared in the East. Thus, though they only have an inkling or a hint of the Maiar in them, that would be enough to keep them in the fight.

Additionally, Harry's role wasn't to stop Dagor Dagorath (at least, he'd try to destroy the Gate of Night, but would be sure to fail); his is to be the gatekeeper that opens the way for the army of light to return to Arda Marred. He is also the ultimate sacrifice: he has to die and be reborn as the returned Blue Wizard to open that portal.

(Whether he joins the fight afterwards, as the Blue Wizard or not, is optional.)

Doing so, however, has a terrible price: he will be separated from all that he loves, as he is forever severed from the Gift of Men - truly becoming the Boy Who Lived.

 

Now THAT would be a good read. I'd love to see it in a 70k story, which is shorter than I usually like, but I think would do better for a fast-paced story.

Spoiler

It would also give a nice redemption twist to the blue wizards' story since it is implied in several places, if not outright stated, that they did not follow the directions that they were given by the Valar.

 

Tolkien actually changed that in later years. Initially he was of the inclination to say that the Blue Wizards failed like Saruman, and that various eastern cults were based around them. But in later letters he decided that actually they had succeeded: if not for the Blue Wizards' interference in the East, Sauron would have had an even larger army of Easterlings.