No I mean phones and computers that run on magic. Fics that have this usually just descend into pure muggle wank with nukes and guns and so on.

 

So, communication mirrors aka "portable skype" are ok then, as is magical radio.

 

Yeah, I've not really got any problem with that and the wizarding radio is canon. I only get annoyed when it's full on complex computers. I've seen fics where Harry gets a magic laptop and from then on types all his essays on it.

 

The biggest problem with Muggle electronics working in the Magical world is that most authors write about cell phones and laptops working at a time when cell phones and laptops just weren't very common. So instead of making it believable (say have Bill Weasley modify a portable radio to work at the Quidditch World Cup) they move up the timeline just so Harry can have an Iphone.

 

One could achieve most of the effects authors seem to want computers for (data searches, text editor) with pure magic anyway, by modifying stuff like dicta-quills to store text, and adding search spells for libraries. A dicta-pen that can erase and replace text on a verbal command could replicate the function of a screen in many cases. We also know that one can charm parchment to function like a computer screen - see marauders map - so having a "Magic parchment" displaying whatever book was "scanned" is entirely possible in my opinion.

Edit by Minion: User was tempbanned for one day for this post.
This post doesn't add anything to the topic of this thread. Starfox was warned before by Sesc, that he shouldn't derail this thread. Nevertheless he did it, and now he is out for a day.

 

Basically the opposite of this post for me. Muggle wank makes me X out of a story, and portraying the wizarding world as this post does means that the fic is almost certainly terrible, with Harry getting a Ferrari with perfect quality speakers and ignoring the wizarding world to wank over the stuff that I already know instead of FUCKING MAGIC.

 

I hate stories where Harry insists on bringing ballpoint pens and notebooks to Hogwarts and makes a huge deal with a teacher, usually Snape, that they're better.

 

I'd love If due to hogwarts regulations they could only accept parchment with quill writing, everything else is void or fail

 

One of the cliches I hate the most, is multiple (if not all) girls falling for the main character left, right and centre. A common theme for harem fics, but sometimes used elsewhere. It is not portrayed as mere attraction either, it has to be love.

 

I will say, something I don't like is the 'insane Voldemort' thing. There's no evidence that Horcruxes cause someone to lose knowledge.

World War II had those two bombs, you know - the ones that leveled cities...

Otherwise, fully agreed. If you want magic in the mundane world, go fucking read dresden, not HP fanfiction.

 

My personal head canon on Muggle products at Hogwarts is this:

Anything that is overly Muggle in nature cannot function at a place like Hogwarts. Just like how electricity won't work a ball point pen that might have lasted for months will only work for a day because the magical nature of Hogwarts overrides the "mundane" nature of the pen. I extend this to muggle paper too. I like to imagine Hermione being being the one who thinks she is smart by doing this only to find that her notes have turned to ash overnight.

Another cliche that'll make me quit a fic in a heartbeat is Harry having more than one special talent. Parseltongue is cool and should stick around. The only leniency I would give is if he became an animagus (one form only)

 

That doesn't make any sense and sounds utterly ridiculous. Do muggle clothes also disintegrate because they're too mundane? What about Harry's glasses, why don't they spontaneously combust? Would a pencil work if it was created by a wizard or does magic somehow determine that these inanimate objects are muggle inventions and thus tainted? There's literally no canon evidence to support this as far as I know and it doesn't make any logical sense considering all the muggle shit that's already at Hogwarts, so I really don't understand how you can have this as your head canon.

 

Meh, the ideas being put into use by Wizards is fine to me. But I'd imagine a Wizarding equivalent would literally be a Notebook, made out of paper, and you can "type" if you wish or just auto dictate. As far as trawling for information, I'd imagine a really advanced magical library would have small paperback/hardback notebooks with blank pages. And with those, you could perform a library search of sorts. With regular words, or because Magic!, just describe what you are kind of looking for and the pages makes some lists of stuff, and you can read a bit of them to see if thats it.

And then if you find what you are looking for, you can read it through that little copy book. But you can't take it out of the Library. Doing something like that would require a different sort of copy and maybe some rent money or something.


Also, just putting up a mirror and using it as a Skype TV should be cool, as is Totally Spies style make up mirror for a phone equivalent. Of course, for small package delivery, Owls are pretty darn neat.

Quick Question, are HP Magical Owls faster than regular Owls? Or do they just have super stamina? And I heard somewhere that Eagles, most likely Golden Eagles, were used too.

Hmm....just awesomely good stamina, like dog/human level or beyond, would make Owls impressively efficient. At a mere 30 mph, an Owl could cover 600 miles in a single day, with time for rest and grabbing a snack/water. That's nearly anywhere to and from the British Isles in 24 hours. Fairly efficient and speedy, especially considering a large portion have their own delivery service. It also reveals how efficient the Daily Prophet's set up is. Sure, Apparating wizards and witches could do it faster, but Owls can do it safer.

---------- Post automerged at 12:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:05 AM ----------

I assumed Rich Purebloods donated assloads. Malfoy canonically did.

And yes, I would presume the Wizarding World has taxes. It's plain stupid not to.

---------- Post automerged at 12:27 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:23 AM ----------

I might almost be ready to murder a virgin to have a good fanfic of Sirius Black taking Harry away by force from Hagrid, and kicking the door in to Grimmauld Place and then saying "Looks like you get to have a Grandson after all".

And maybe Sirius' part of the bargain to uphold is actually marrying, settling down, and continuing on the Black name by blood. In exchanged for not being murdered on the fucking spot.

 

I think that in HP owls are just magical in general, but some are raised and taught how to handle post. They must be more robust than your average owl, though, when you consider all the stuff Hedwig has delivered for Harry in the past.

Only owls carry post, I think. The Malfoys had an Eagle Owl, though.

On that note, one thing that immediately makes me stop reading is the word Thunderbird. I'll stop, skim to the part that one appears and if it becomes Harry's familiar/Animagus form/'true' form then I'm done. Any magical Animagus form, really, though a Flobberworm might be useful for escaping undergroung or something.

 

Might as well just throw out good fanfiction entirely. Because much of the stuff? Helped world building and establish things about the story and helped the reader give a fuck about the place and its people.

YCSMD. Because IDGAF.

EDIT:Warning Received and noted.

 

In GoF, Sirius sent the messages to Harry using 'tropical birds', not owls.

 

They are better. They just are. Especially paper, which has been around for literally centuries by this point. At this point, they are just being outdated for its own sake and literally no other reason.

 

Surely Snape would use the Muggle paper and pen if it was better seeing as he is half-blood and has used both

 

The head of Slytherin using muggle things? What would his Death Eater friends and their kids be thinking!

If paper wasn't better we'd still be using parchment as much as possible.

 

Voldemort used muggle paper bought from a muggle bookshop and liked it enough to make a horcrux out of it. Also the newspaper and presumably the books too are printed on paper.

Parchment and quills are used in canon simply because of Rule of Cool, and because the HP universe pretty much by definition is based on every fantasy cliché available.