Making fun of Albus Severus Potter's name is always fun.
Good, wholesome, fun.

Clearly, Harry was trolling someone when he came up with that name. I'm just not sure whom...

Spoiler

"...so I named him, Albus Severus Potter-"

"Harry, why on earth-"

"-after two of the bravest men I ever knew."

"Yes, I know, and I guess that makes sense... of a sort, but-"

"But it still doesn't explain why your eldest is Tom Fudge Potter, or why you'd name this new one Dolores Bellatrix. Fuckin' barking, that is. Though Tom Fudge does sort of have a ring to it..."

"Ron!"

"What?"

"Have a little tact, would you? Not that you're wrong, exactly... about the first part, not the second. Why would you even begin to think that those are appropriate names, Harry?"

"Seventeen years with a horcrux in the noggin, Hermione! What's your excuse for naming yours 'Hugo?'"

"Harry..."

"Look, mate, I admit I wasn't especially keen on it at first -naming my son after some muggle author- but it's not a bad name at all, and he is her favorite."

"Her favorite author or her favorite quidditch player?"

"Harry!"

"Huh? Quidditch?"

"Victor, Ron. The author's name is Victor Hugo..."

"Hermione?"

"It- It's not even remotely the same name, Ron. O- One has a 'C' and... the other has a 'K.'"

"You bitch!"

"Ron! Ron... damn it all. Well, there he goes. Are you happy? I've had those books on our shelf for nearly a decade, with the name staring right at him, and he never even so much as blinked. I suppose I'll have to obliviate him, now, or he'll be simply impossible."

"At least I didn't tell him why you insisted on giving Rose a flower name. If you think he's flipping his shit now-"

"Why do you have to be such an ass!?"

"Seventeen years with a horcrux in the brain-pan, Hermione! Seventeen. It took Ron a few weeks of wearing one -with two other people taking shifts, mind you- to turn into a worthless sack of irritable, feckless, shite. I got seventeen years with mine -complete with interactive live videos of Tom's greatest hits- and, lest we forget, that means I was also doing double duty when it was my turn with the locket."

"Still doesn't explain the names."

"Just my subtle way of letting Ginny know I'm as impressed with the last three little monsters she's let out of the Chamber of Secrets as I was with the first one."

"Please, remind me why I let you fuck me."

"Because your husband's dick is as limp as his wit; now get your kit off. If we make this a quick one, you can still catch up to Ron before he goes and whines to Molly."

"Humph... Fine. What are you doing here, anyway; your wife just gave birth?"

"She was 'expressing' and... Arthur was there. I can't stand the way he stares at his own daughter's baps."

"It's the pump I bought for her; you know how he is about muggle gadgets."

"Still creepy as shit.

"Yes. Yes it is. A little to the lef-"

"I'm getting there, bossy - no backseat shagging. You seem to be forgetting that my Elder Wand is unbeatab-"

"Yes, yes, please spare me the disturbing euphemisms comparing your penis to something called 'The Deathstick.'"

"We prefer 'Wand of Destiny.'"

"We?"

"Shut up; it's the royal 'We.'"

In all fairness, he has eaten up a lot of time I could have spent doing more worthwhile other things...

I couldn't agree. more.

Spoiler

Here, have a few pics that have probably already appeared in this thread.

 

Now write something about Hermione wandering through Diagon and wondering at the influx of all those redheaded kids in a single generation, along with their single mothers who are so eager to learn about the wizarding world. And then have her bemoan Ron's fate at having been designated as their liaison.

 

You know, I'd read that. Good humor fics are hard to come by. And awesome asshole Harry.

 

It's kind of like Awesome McLaggen, it can only be written in small doses or else the author will literally die of coolness. Like, they'll freeze to death.

Also, Warlocke, you really should write Fanfiction more. or do one of those stories which are just a collection of shorts you've written with a quick prompt to explain the scene. It'd be set in my alerts almost immediately.

 

Oh my God. Genius.

 

That was excellent.

Also, now that I think about it, a really excellent example of how you can write a scene with just dialogue (no character action or dialogue attribution) and not lose anything.

 

Wow, that was really funny

 

Aaaaa ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA.

No, really, I died right there.

 

I'm both confused, impressed, and strangely aroused.

 

You mean you haven't seen this?

 

I have the ten hour loop on my phone...

But the confusion is more on how someone actually thought to combine the two. It's like Oreos and milk. Women and men. It doesn't seem like it would work but it does.

 

That just feels so RIGHT. Hermione is a trombone player. Head canon.

 

Sometimes it's easy to forget just how big a phenomenon Harry Potter is.

And then... you are reminded.

Bitches literally be hanging out of windows.

 

I really want to sig that.

 

Hahaha, fuck you Hermione.

 

http://i.imgur.com/8qGftne.png

 

Troll Dumbledore comp.

http://i.imgur.com/IltpEwK.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/CUAkcBL.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xGK9N1p.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/JNXTKQA.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/UonNBRv.jpg

http://media.tumblr.com/b461ff5e3a267c4d623d48526d44bd47/tumblr_inline_ne2cj0PrJL1rfft28.jpg