Also known as teenage rebellion.

I imagine reading manipulative Dumbledore ranty Harry is kinda like having a teen child.

 

The story will be about 2000 words long and ends with Harry dying in an accident.

 

I should probably thank fate that I didn't get into fanfiction until my teenage years ended.

I shudder to think what I would have read.

 

There are in fact fanfics that have this. The thing is this scenario is used mainly to extend the bashing to other characters, like, when everyone ignores Harry, he begins accusing them that they are either being paid by Dumbledore or they are just stupid 'sheep'. Oh yes the word sheep is pretty common in such fics.

 

So Indy!Harry/'Dumbles' authors are in league with keyboard warrior libertarians/Alex Jones watchers? Not that surprising, really.

 

Want to hear a weird one? I found a Harry/Dumbledlore that starts in OoTP

 

That sounds even worse and more disturbing than all the HP/SS, HP/DM, or even HP/LV out there...

 

That is a weird one.

Do you have a link?

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5033126/1/Last-Words

Not it but one I found

I reeaaalllllyyy need to get off FF.net

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3950379/1/Extended-Vacation

I think I might cry

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4869860/1/Stolen-Treasure

I don't think I can go on any more

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8132571/1/Old-Scars

 

Never thought I'd hear these words.

 

That's nothing. I've read multiple fics where Snape is Harry's father and James is his OTHER father. Hell, I found a HP/SS fic where Snape and James are Harry's parents.

Spoiler

Butter Mountain, Curdled Mountain, by Rinsbane Snape/Harry, brief past Snape/James, NC-17, ~19K words. Warnings: Snarry Severitus, i.e., incest. Orgasm denial. Drug (potion) use. Chan (sexual awareness year 4, observed and ordered masturbation years 5 & 6, no touching). Dub-con. Mpreg (all 10 words of it). Summary: Life as a zero-sum game. If Snape has nothing else, he will at least have Potter.

 

I didn't want to believe...

I mean, obviously I know of father Snape fics - though I've never read one. But this...this is new and unwelcome.

 

Anyway, let's get back on topic:

- fics that go on way too long. ESPECIALLY if they are WIP. If you can successfully wrap up your story in 5 chapters instead of 10, do it! I don't care how good your prose is, the readers will get bored after several chapters of absolutely nothing happening.

- When the author doesn't update for 5 years and then one day out of the blue updates the story. ESPECIALLY if the update is just an author's note stating that the story is abandoned.

- Fem!Harry fics. They are to me what slash is to you guys. I cannot read them, I don't care how well written they are or how interesting the plot is. I know it is irrational but it's still a pet peeve.

- Next gen fics. I've only read a handful that I can stand. This is because in 99% of next gen fics the characters are just clones of their parents. Fanfic writers just cannot be bothered to put any effort into developing these characters.

Also, they all follow the same plots: A)One of the Potter/Weasley brats falls for Malfoy jr. B)The Potter/Weasley brats go back in time and/or read the books. C)One of the Potter/Weasley brats is sorted into Slytherin, or Malfoy jr is not sorted into Slytherin. D) One of the Potter/Weasley brats fall in love with another Potter/Weasley brat.

- Founders era fics. I hate these for the same reasons that I hate Next gen fics: fanfic authors are too lazy to give the founders well rounded and developed personalities. This is unforgivable to me because we are essentially spoon fed their traits in canon. How hard can it possibly be to look up the qualities of each house and compile each of them into 4 developed characters?

- Fics that try to justify Snape's actions and portray him as a saint. Where do I begin with this?

1) It was a rivalry, not bullying. I'm 100% sure that if a student who was quiet and minding their own business was repeatedly publicly humiliated over the course of 7 years, SOMEONE in the school (Dumbledore, or McGonagall, or Flitwick, etc) would put their foot down and say enough is enough. At the very least McGonagall would do something because she would NOT tolerate someone from her house behaving like this.

2) What bullied kid would act like he does? 'Hmm, my bullies have left me alone for a day, time to go hex them!', 'I know this guy has bullied me for the past 5 years but I'm going to follow his advice and go into the forbidden forest in the middle of the night to a secluded area'. No kid who has been bullied would EVER go into the forbidden forest (a place that that is home to god knows how many creatures that are actively trying to kill them) on the word of their bully. No kid would ever provoke their bully. If your bullies leave you alone you throw a fucking party, you do not seek them out. Bullied kids are afraid of the bully. Snape wasn't afraid of the Marauders. He was angry and wanted revenge but he was not afraid of them.

3) Snape didn't just stumble into the death eaters one day. He knew what the group entailed and he knew what he was doing. It'd clearly shown in canon that he doesn't feel bad about any of the terrible things he no doubt did as a death eater. He only felt bad for Lily dying. He didn't give a shit about James or about having caused a child to be orphaned. That is unforgivable. He will never be redeemed in my eyes because the first steps to redemption are not only acknowledging that what you did was wrong but also feeling bad about it. I don't care how much he wanted to bone Lily; he's a putrid cunt. Always has been, always will be.

4) He will never be justified in treating Harry and Neville like shit. Anyone who even attempts to justify his actions towards them needs to kill themselves for the benefit of all mankind.

5) Snape is a terrible person. He's an obsessive, cruel, miserable cunt. Even if he had never joined the death eaters, or told Voldie about the prophecy, or bullied innocent children, or murdered innocent people, or generally been a cunt to everyone he met, he'd still be an obsessive, cruel, miserable cunt. It's his personality. I still believe that he's incapable of truly loving someone because he is too selfish. If he had genuinely and truly loved Lily he would have been happy for her. Instead he tried to have her husband killed.


- When Snape sympathizers bash Lily. yeah, how dare she not be Snape's punching bag. No, he doesn't deserve her. If he had truly wanted her back as a friend and potential lover fire) he would have given up his dark lifestyle. All he had to do was stop leaning towards the death eaters, stop being a cunt to everyone, and stop being racist. He lost any and all chance to ever deserve Lily when he chose the death eaters over her.

------------------------

Side note: I can't believe it took me an hour to type all of that.

 

The fact that there are 10 full threads of this is why I almost stopped reading HP fanfics.

 

On a related note, I can't stand when authors portray a canon character's anti-Slytherin bias as unreasonable, frothing-at-the-mouth bigotry. Even when ninety-nine percent of said characters' interactions with Slytherin characters involve the Slytherins vocally endorsing murder/racial bias/terrorism/dark magic/etc., mocking and harrassing others without provocation, or even outright attacking other students.

 

Ridiculous! How dare anyone dislike a group of people who have constantly and relentlessly been dicks to you for the entirety of your school years. That's just mindless prejudice. Especially since the person accuses of this is usually a teenager, who are some of the most intelligent, reasonable, and downright sensible people on the planet!

 

To me the perfect example of what being in Slytherin can do is Snape. He arrived at Hogwarts as a kid who didn't believe in blood purity, he left Hogwarts as a fully fledged death eater.

That's why I believe in abolishing the Slytherin house. I don't care what anyone says, a child that is surrounded by outspoken racists for 7 years IS going to become more racist themselves. Even if unconsciously or if they only begin to dislike muggles/muggleborns. There is no way that being in that kind of environment isn't going to affect a child at all.

Why does everyone believe that Slytherin house has changed in the next gen's time? The wizarding world has been oppressing muggleborns for centuries, Harry Potter isn't going to do away with racism in 19 years.

I don't think it's coincidence that the only good slytherin we see in the books is Slughorn, who was in Slytherin about 100 years ago. After Tom Riddle attended Hogwarts Slytherin became breeding grounds for death eaters.

---------- Post automerged 08-16-2015 at 12:40 AM ---------- Previous post was 08-15-2015 at 09:33 AM ----------

Isn't this canon though? I'm not even trying to troll. All throughout the OotP book I was questioning why Harry expected everyone to believe him right away. What Harry doesn't understand is that when you make huge claims (like Lord motherfucking Voldemort is back) that people don't want to believe you need a lot of evidence to back it up. The only proof that Harry has is that Cedric was killed and Crouch was a death eater. That doesn't prove that Voldemort is back, it proves that an escaped death eater arranged for a student (Harry) to be killed and another student was killed instead.

There's a reason memories aren't used in trials: they can be tampered with. It's not hard to imagine someone screwing around with Harry's memories after killing Cedric to make him believe the Dark Lord is back. I think that people who don't believe that Voldemort is back and don't think Harry is a liar think that Harry's memories were screwed with.

-----------------------------

NEW PET PEEVE:
- Fics where Harry gets sent to Azkaban. People, there's a reason why after GoF newpapers weren't proclaiming, "Did the Boy-Who-Live kill Diggory?". People see it as simply inconceivable that Harry could go dark. He famously risked his life to save others 2 times before he was 14. His parents were murdered by Voldemort. He is the viewed as the Wizarding World's savior. He is the epitome of everything the Light Side stands for.

If you are going to have the wizarding world suddenly start believing he is evil you better have a good reason (a mountain sized pile of false evidence, a government conspiracy, etc). Even after a student was murdered and he was the only witness and he gives an outlandish explanation that nobody believes, they STILL never even question whether he could be dark. Something fucking major has to happen for these people to even conceive of the thought that Harry might be evil. They aren't just going to toss him into Azkaban every time he steps on somebody's toe.

 

Would that be stories where Harry is born a girl or stories where Harry is somehow changed into a girl?

Or both?

Because, for me, those are two vastly different genres (even if they're often both ultimately just an excuse to ship vulnerable!Harry/CD or clearly-brain-dead!H/DM or something equally offensive).

I can.

 

I like Fem!Harry fics... If they're Fem!Slash.

---------- Post automerged at 20:27 ---------- Previous post was at 20:26 ----------

I guess that's even more off-putting for you?

 

Both.

I don't mind fem!slash if it's well written.