Thanks. Unfortunately I've already read them and have them under my alerts list.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8212573/1/Rewritten

Rewritten by Paradox Jast reviews
The Fourth Great Shinobi War is all but lost. A tip from the Tsuchikage causes a team to travel to Uzushiogakure to find out more. Not knowing what to expect, they come across a seal, but it's one that requires a bijuu to power it. Naruto gets an opportunity to go back and re-write the past in hopes of giving everyone a different future. -COMPLETE-

It's decent and it's complete

 

For currently updating Timetravel fics, I like:

Legacy Undone:
Naruto creates a seal, powered by him, Kurama, Sasuke and Sakura to send him back in time, and the others use up their very beings as fuel to send him back, meaning he arrives in the past in his younger body -with no Kurama.- The Kyuubi is functionally gone from reality. Sasuke and Sakura are still there, but they did not come back in time.

Additionally, the timetraveling caused a bunch of other ripples though the timeline, there are a ton of differences, such as Orochimaru still being with Konoha, Dan being alive and Jiraiya being dead. This results in tsunade being in Konoha too, and they all tend to look after Naruto. Well, try too. Orochimaru is still a creep and borderline psycho, and Naruto is well aware of this and does not trust him at all.

Timeless Value of a Mended Friend:
Team 7 all goes back in time. Except, they all think they're the only one who went back, and are all inadvertantly working against eachother, because Sasuke and Sakura are both goddamn idiots and psychos. Not the best, but a good time waster.

 

Just started reading this; decently written so far. Is there any explanation as to why they feel the need to remain inconspicuous if they believe that they're the only ones who have traveled back in time?

Edit: found a good answer later in the story.

 

@Nauro's Steal My Thunder God.

...no, this wasn't at all meant to be needling for an update, xP

 

I'm up to chapter 8 in "Timeless Value of a Mended Friend". It could be good but so far things seem kind of convoluted. No one has really accomplished anything even with the help of the time travel. Maybe I'd giver this a 2.5/5 maybe 3/5.

 

nvm not going into this again.

 

Timeless Value of A Mended Friend is alright. The writing is a bit immature but I really enjoy Team 7's Dynamic.

Tentative 3.5/5.

 

I finished reading Timeless Value of a Mended Friend, and I'm actually very impressed. The beginning chapters required quite a lot of suspension of disbelief, but I think that's because what the writer was trying to do - the comedy/tragedy of errors where no one figures out what the others are up to. Parts of that were written in a rather clumsy way and I think it's understandable because trying to write that kind of thing is balls to the wall difficult.

But in the later parts of the story where team 7 starts interacting, like WD said they actually have a really well-done dynamic. Each of their characters is very well-defined and unique, and they mesh together fantastically. It's fun. And then shit starts to hit the fan.

I was surprised at how emotionally invested I got in all of it. Some parts were still a little clumsy, but there were also a lot of really exciting or powerful moments. Overall, it's a good take on a very hard type of story to pull off.

I think this story is actually a solid 4/5 - sure it has lows of 2s in parts, but that should tell you all the more that there's plenty in it worth reading.

It looks like it will finish in a few chapters. I think we should put it up for review after that.

 

Timeless Value of a Mended Friend is written well enough, but it's plot requires an enormous suspension of disbelief. There are all kinds of unbelievable things:

Spoiler

1. why would Sasuke be okay with the Massacre happening?
2. Why would Sakura want the Massacre to happen? The explanation that she's trying to preserve the future makes no sense. That whole theme of them trying to preserve the future was absolutely god awful.
3. Naruto, given that Sakura helped the Massacre happen, should be absolutely, pants-shittngly pissed-off at her.

 

Hm? All of those are answered in-story.

1. He wasn't. He was trying to prevent it.
2. Because the alternative was the civil war.
3. He was, for a while.

 

I think that counts as a spoiler, Garden. Could you put it in tags?

 

Spoiler

1. Is that what it implies? Sasuke's thought process in story was too confusing for me to understand. I thought he was trying to get his clan killed, which admittedly makes no sense, but given the implication that he was making his father more upset and rebellious by telling him stories about the rest of the village hating the Uchiha, that was my impression.

2. Which requires enormous suspension of disbelief to believe that the only way to avoid that was to kill everyone in the Uchiha clan. For one, the Hokage could have tried to address their claims, or at least tried to negotiate with them. Or he could have ordered the crippling of the able-bodied ninja. In canon, my impression was that there was an implication that Danzo was subtly provoking/pushing for the attempted coup to happen so that he could get access to a nuber of Sharingan, especially Shisui's. If Shisui and Itachi were loyal to Konoha, which they were according to canon, they alone could have stopped the coup.

Of course, the coup and Konoha's response didn't make any sense in canon anyways, so whatever.

3. He should be upset for a lot longer than that. We're talking about helping facilitate the murder of at least a couple dozen completely innocent children, questionably innocent adults, etc.

Its fair to say the fic tries to address these issues-- my point is that it mostly fails. The author and characters are clearly trying to railroad a semblance of canon into the fic, when all it does is make the characters and plot unrealistic.

 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11030096/1/Doeskin
Harry MoD is reborn as a Nara doe. Yes you heard me right a female deer. Basically it's about his shenanigans trying to live with the Nara clan. So far it seems to be based around Yoshino and Harry.
Found this fic a while ago and finally decided to give it a read. It's mildly entertaining and I'm hoping Harry becomes his human self again.
The author has another fic with only one chapter so far where Harry gets transported to Naruverse by Dobby. I hope that proves to be as good in the coming chapters.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11532187/1/Harry-Potter-and-The-World-of-Shinobi

 

Doeskin had some promise as a feel-good comedy piece. The moment that kills it for me was Harry, a two-hundred year-old, Dark Lord slaying Wizard, seeing a blond for the first time and apparating away in front of a group of ninja. The fic goes into the unbearably mushy category when it dedicates several thousand words to the "Eyebrow Kid" and has him crying into "Harry-doe's" hide. A shame as I really wanted it to not turn into one of the never-to-be-finished tumblr-like soppy snippets.

 

Why would he apparate because he saw a blonde?

 

My mistake, he saw Ino who apparently is a spitting image of Malfoy. What a fright.

 

Doeskin was surprisingly quite enjoyable, for what has to be one of the most crack ideas I've come across. But yes, him freaking out over Ino looking like Malfoy completely ruined it. Even with that attempt of a justification that as a Doe, his/her fight or flight instincts are a lot more pronounced. If they wanted him/her to Apparate, why not just do it as a result of an actual ninja attack or something?

Timeless Value of a Mended Friend was really good. Absolutely loved it. Most time travel fics lose their steam once the big reveal is out and the characters can start more openly act to change things for the better, but this is the first fic where it actually got more interesting at that point.

All three of them wanting to reaffirm their relationships, wracked with guilt over the unforgivable acts they've committed against each other. But at the same time, Sasuke still despises Konoha, Sakura is willing to do whatever is necessary to stop him and Naruto just wants them to get along this time. The fic did a reasonable job of building all three into people who might clash ideologically, with Naruto's idealistic view of the world, Sakura's ruthless pragmatism of being the ROOT Commander and Sasuke enmity of Konoha. There's quite a few powerfully emotional scenes in there.

The whole dynamic reminded me a lot of Ricochet (though obviously, not nearly as good).

Spoiler

Scenes like the Chuunin Exam were a great example. Rather than having the three S-rank time travelers completely smash down the Sannin, you have Sasuke trying to get the curse seal, Sakura trying to stop him and Naruto trying to hold down Orochimaru. The conflict actually steps up a notch with the time travel reveal between Team 7.

Everything pre-reveal wasn't too bad either. It was cool seeing all three of them working against each other (without even realizing it) to manipulate various events.

The two major issues I have with it are:

1. Their attempt at manipulating events wasn't done well at all. What 5 year old goes to the Hokage and starts suggesting measures to integrate the Uchiha Clan into the ANBU more? If I was Sarutobi, my first instinct would be to think an Uchiha had put the ideas into his head. But there seemed to be little suspicion on this front. Same with Sasuke, and the way he worded his own "schoolyard observations". Sakura was probably the only one that felt subtle enough to be a little bit believable.

2. Sakura is a bit inconsistent. At times she's written as that ruthless pragmatist and at other times she seems very emotionally driven, and its not always written in a way that feels natural (eg, out of all three, she's the one who makes the most verbal slip ups - surprising for an ex-ROOT commander). Like, the way Sasuke and Naruto are written, I can completely imagine them subconsciously ignoring all the clues that there are other time travelers. They are both emotional types, and don't want to confront that. But it just doesn't seem natural for Sakura.

Overall though, while full of small issues, I really enjoy it as a whole and would probably give a 4/5. It is not a typical time travel fic at all and is quite refreshing.

 

Jarik, you should be putting this up for review instead of letting it be buried in this thread. You've got some interesting things to say about it. Don't mean to pick on you, but you're the latest one to bring it up.

Perhaps Doeskin as well if you guys think it's 3/5ish.

 

Doeskin? Really I thought that was only for Harry Potter fics. Not cross overs.