LOL. The first chapter of that story manages to fit in every terrible Harry/Daphne trope in just a thousand words. I'm almost impressed at the concentrated terrible-ness.

The story also reminds me of Snakecharmer, which was the same cesspit of Harry/Daphne cliches, but with better writing.

 

Heh. I really can't believe that the irony of Daphne getting upset about Ron calling her a whore, right before admitting she's a whore, was lost on the author.

 

It has been years since I've read a story like this. Ah, the memories of my early fanfiction days. I'm almost nostalgic.

 

I like how he can "claim" all the Hogwart houses - except Hufflepuff.
Hufflepuff is not badass enough for this Harry, apparently.

(But hey, at least his name is Harry and not Harold/Harrison/Hadrian)

 

Just once, I want to read a Fic where his "official" name is Henry, like actual British royals nicknamed Harry usually are.

 

I would prefer if his official name is Harry, but whatever floats your boat.

 

I think my position is, "If you're going to give Harry a 'proper' name then, firstly, you're an idiot. But at least do it right."

 

Pretty much sums up what I was talking about.

The whole 'proper' name thing is stupid and should be left to royals. Hell, even they only give a shit about it for especially formal reasons: when was the last time anyone ever referred to Prince Harry as Prince Henry?

 

Are there any stories where Harry is called by a different name and it actually makes sense? The only one I can remember is rbackwards's Phantom Limb where he's called Deasil. The name (and the history behind it) fits the story and its themes very well.

 

When anyone but Harry Potter is part of a Crossover. It's the mark of a writer who has no self-awareness and tries to do too much.

 

Ehh what? It can actually be quite nice for a change if it is atleast well written.

 

Swimdraconian's Circular Reasoning. It's actually an important plot point and it's not in-your-face all the time.

 

A lot of the stuff already mentioned. Haven't seen this yet though:

Harry being short even in later teen years and as an adult, when he's explicitly stated to be tall by that point in the books. Sure he's described as small in the first book at least, but all 11 year olds are small. Worst of all is when the writer makes him absolutely tiny because OMG ABUSIVE EVIL DURSLEYS MALNOURISH HIM INTO MANLET.

I'm not saying the guy has to be 6'4"+, but the idea that he's some sort of midget is pure movie spillover. Same with Ron not being described as tall. Might as well go all the way at that point, and make his eyes (or 'orbs' if you're a 14 yr old moron trying to sound fancy) blue too.

Come to think of it, movie spillover is probably also partially responsible for all the fics where Hermione is described as ridiculously hot or even just one of the better looking girls in Hogwarts (instead of average at best normally, and quite pretty when she puts in a ton of effort and uses magic to help). Though I think ugly-duckling wish-fulfillment and fanboy/fangirling share equal blame.

 

Actually, I believe he's considered small at 11 compared to other kids his age (second book pretty much says this, especially compared to Dudley). And yes, that precisely could be due to undernourishment. We know he wasn't fed properly (although he wasn't starved, either, but he would go a week without food as part of punishment—see the first book).

 

A WEEK WITHOUT FOOD!! Can you quote the passage which says that?

For the record Harry in DH is the same height as James who has been described as a tall man. Personally I blame the movies for Harry being written as a short guy in the fandom.

 

As for Harry being tall, yeah, he does get tall. And that makes sense as he starts being fed good meals for 9 months out of the year, so his body makes up for it.

A week without food - Book 1. I admit it's taking literally what may have been a tad metaphorical, but after the snake incident, Vernon punishes Harry by sending him to his closet without any meals. Plural. In the beginning of chapter two, we learn it was the longest he's been punished as school is no longer in session. In chapter one, we've been told he was punished before for a week in his closet after his hair grew overnight.

So, putting those together, at least a week and a day without food. (Again, I admit it was probably a bit metaphorical, but it'd still set the tone for Harry being undernourished and thus, short and skinny until he got to Hogwarts and was able to recover from it.

---huh, just checked out a study. Seems catch up can happen even if malnutrition persists. Fascinating. Also, puberty may be delayed up to about 3 years in one study.

And that leads me to my Pet Peeve: unresearched stories. Read one that was well researched in one area, but completely blew it in another (one of the characters had ADD, and caffeine was supposed to have made them hyper. Um, no. Just the opposite, actually, and based on the same reasoning you give ADD patients amphetamines.

 

Yeah I doubt Harry was made to go without food for over a week just because he was confined to his closet. A kid really can't go without food for that long without needing medical attention afterwards, I don't think anyone can. Going seven days without food counts as starving and Harry was never starved, even if he wasn't allowed to have as much food as he would have liked.

James was described as a small eleven year old, albeit well-cared for, in DH. So, its quite likely that being short and skinny at that age was as much a part of his genetics as his relatively malnourished state.

 

If the Crossover is the type where two worlds are combined together, then yes, its okay for more than one character from the Harry Potter world to be involved. But if its the type of crossover where a character jumps to an alternate universe? Nope.

The biggest mistake any fanfiction writer can make is sending more than one character to an alternate universe. It's almost as bad as stories where more than one character, and anyone but Harry Potter, are sent to the past.

Most of the stories where Harry Potter is described as short are either slash where he is the submissive, or angsty stories created by teenagers who think the world is against them, and are using their stories as an outlet to relieve their frustrations.

 

While that may be your opinion mine still disagrees. I would actually like to read a fic (example) where a younger Dumbledore is displaced in time and re-appeared decades later in a much darker future.

 

Dumbledore is the exception because he is written more like an abstract entity -- J.R. Rowling's Plot Device -- than an actual character.

And I suppose skilled writer could make Voldemort and Severus work.

But I stand by what I said on alternate universes. If anyone is going to jump to an alternate universe, it must be Harry, and no one else.

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Fluff -- Angst -- Hurt/Comfort -- Family -- Bestiality -- Cutting -- Male Pregnancy -- Suicide -- Self-Mutilation -- Spanking -- Weak!Harry -- Dark!Harry -- Grey!Harry -- Demon!Harry -- Werewolf!Harry -- Vampire!Harry -- Whiny!Harry -- Creature!Harry -- Hypocrite!Harry -- Genius!Hermione -- Beautiful!Harry -- Good!Draco -- Good!Snape

Any summary that says "Marauders Era" -- Any story that says the "Marauders" were even pranksters, as nowhere in the books do I remember them being called pranksters.

Any story where Harry travels to an alternate universe and deludes himself into thinking the James and Lily Potter there are his parents. No Harry! Your parents are dead! They are just copies.

Any story where Harry travels to the past or an alternate dimension and becomes a crybaby.

Any story where Harry travels to the past and tries to "preserve" the timeline. AKA as Lazy Ass Writer Syndrome.

Any story where he has shoulder length or long hair. Any story where he doesn't have green eyes. Any story where he is not the biological child of James and Lily Potter.

Any story where he is a skinny midget, or a tall playgirl model.

Etc