Sure -- Just have Ron find out that Harry and Hermione were having sex while he was gone. It's a good starting point, because Ron would most likely feel responsible for it.

Add in a few things here and there, and eventually Ron's self-esteem would be so low that he would accept the situation.

 

I laughed so hard at this. I hope that someone at least writes a oneshot to this effect.

 

Unconventional romance: It turns out that Harry was indeed dosed with love potions in book 6 all along: he was dosing himself and taking draughts of forgetfulness as chasers. (The Half Blood Prince was a hell of an authority on better living through chemicals®.)

This lasts right up until Voldemort is defeated, when he no longer needs to tap dat power (or dat ass) and shit gets real.

 

Hence, Cuckolding at Shell Cottage, or whatever that fic was.
---------------------------
Unconventional Romance ideas:

Madame Maxime's and Hagrid's argument during the Yule Ball happened not because Hagrid said she was a giant, but rather, because he caught her getting a little on the side from Argus Filch.

 

Hmm, too bad Harry isn't attracted to Hermione at all.

Well I don't really have any ideas. Maybe Neville is a Dendrophile? Neville Longbotom/Mimbulus Mimbletonia.

 

Neville/Nepenthes lingulata

Yes, you know exactly what kind of mental image I'm trying to *puts on shades* plant in your head.

 

dude no

/10char

 

Yeah, for all those fanfiction stories of Harry Potter being a perfect gentlemen, and being with his "one true love," it seems they have forgotten that Harry was a bit shallow when it came to looks.

I mean, the first girl he was attracted to was Cho Chang -- the most popular girl in school, and an exotic Asian to boot.

He didn't even give Ginny Weasley the time of day, until she got some tits and ass.

There's no way Harry would go for an average girl like Hermione. Not unless he had a good reason for it.

 

Harry enters a slowburn relationship with Myrtle post CoS and later uses the Resurrection Stone post-DH to turn Myrtle more solid while active, which he uses to great effect for various... reasons.

He ends up declining becoming an Auror and instead becomes Defense Professor. Helena Ravenclaw also ends up becoming interested in Harry post-DH, since he actually did end up going through with his word.

EDIT: For a less humorous pairing -- Helena Ravenclaw and the Bloody Baron spend centuries reconciling in death. Super slowburn Grey Lady/Bloody Baron pairing.

 

I would have mentioned Harry and the Giant Squid, but to my horror, I have already found a few of them on FFN.
I should have expected as much.
I also would have suggested Snapex?, but he is far too myopic and fixated on Lily to even consider anyone else.
Maybe Grawp x Umbridge?
If Harry were a little more vindictive, he could have just left Umbridge in the forest around Grawp.
Though I don't know if even Grawp would find Umbridge attractive.

 

Umbridge's time with the centaurs leads to her developing Stockholm Syndrome. She makes surreptitious visits to the Forbidden Forest and becomes a stalwart defender of Centaur Rights at the Ministry of Magic. Later when Voldemort takes over, she works covertly to champion the rights of non-humans, especially Centaurs -- although muggleborns don't interest her that much. She participates in the Final Battle, fighting against the Death Eaters, and takes a Killing Curse meant for Bane.

 

That sounds amazing.
How about Fleur x Grindylows?

 

Better. Ghosts are not the souls of the dead, so when Harry uses the Stone it brings the soul of Myrtle back. It's like twins, but better. Except for the whole, you know, dead thing.

 

Fleur x Merepeople (specifically plural) - kiss of a meremaid saves one from drowning. Merepeople crossbreed with Fleur to raise a race of unstoppable mutants. The feed her the flesh of their dead and she turns into a horrible octopus monster.

 

Guardian of Azkaban has Katie Bell paired off with a Dementor. Looks to be a full series rewrite from PoA to DH, with a Dementor lead.

... Haven't really touched this much at all, so I can't comment on the quality or lack thereof.

 

It was actually Hermione who was responsible for leading Umbridge into the Forest to be taken away by creatures with a rapey history/backstory.

 

Being burnt out on all of the non traditional romances, I'd personally like to see more well written stories that have a Harry/Muggle summer fling pairing on the side. The key words are well written, seeing as how most of these fics end up as self-insert wish fulfillment stories with song lyric titles.

I can only think of one off the top of my head that does it semi-well: Harry stays in an "off the beaten path" town in a foreign country over the summer and meets a waitress while eating at a restaurant. I can't recall everything, other than the typical "Harry inherits a Black property and has Sirius' motorcycle" situation. I think it's in Almost Recommended but I don't feel like slogging through the pages to find it.

 

Not familiar with that particular story.

Here are a other few nice ones, IMO, that feature Harry paired with a Muggle OC.

Hocus Pocus, Adele Polkiss
Behind Blue Eyes
Grow Young With Me

Abraxan's Refiner's Fire also had a Harry/Muggle OC pairing initially, but she gets killed off to set up a Harry/Ginny, which was disappointing. (I don't mind H/G - I did mind the way he handled the initial pairing and the abrupt way it ended)

 

Ironic shitposting is still shitposting you guys.

 

I'd like to see one that parodies and twists fandom cliches.

For example, Harry does get a Contract... but it's with a smoking hot, older foreign (Russian or Scandinavian or Eastern European) girl, who seems pretty into him.

So, he's like, "Fuck it".

The humour would come from everyone else's reactions and actions, trying to get him out of it, etcetera.

All the while, he's metaphorically just staring at his fiance's tits/ass and is like to them, "Yeah yeah, take your time, Headmaster/Hermione. Hogsmeade, Svetta?"