As always your chapters are great. The Harry may become a dementor idea is new as far as I know or atleast the way you have done it. Harrys strong and not afraid to kick ass. As always Susan reacts in a way that I think she probably would.
Snape vs. Harry duel I am more than ready for.

5/5 I like this chapter alot more than the last one.

 

I really hope that Harry would fulfill his promise to Snivellus to kill him for good next time he sees him. It is rare, that we can appreciate a good snivellus-killing.

 

Although the killer-patronus has become rather cliche, no author actually has Harry use it to his advantage as much as jbern does. This was a very captivating chapter with some excellent character development sneaking in amongst the action.

 

I'm loving this story, though I have to admit it was a little hard to watch Harry meekly allow Bill to 'take him to the woodshed'. I thought I was reading Bungle for a second there. He stuck to his guns for all of five seconds before he pretty much promised Bill he'd fight the war in a way that wouldn't offend his delicate sensibilities. Next time, I hope Harry lets the vampire finish his meal.

Still though, a small issue when you consider the cool stuff like Hagrid going out with a bang. I was talking someone's ear off about that scene a few days ago (and it's been how long now since that chapter came out?).
I don't think I've ever seen Harry try to use possession against Voldemort like that before in fanfic. So close, Harry, so close... Hehe.

 

Nice chapter Jbern.

The shit with Susan begging Harry to "stay in the light" was little disconcerting, I'm fairly sure I got what you meant though, I'm also fairly sure you won't just turn this ultra!lightHarry either so yeah, that's just me being a bitch.

The Dementor thing was cool but if Harry has the link and all how come he was affected in 3rd year and such? Did I miss something?

Only comment I really have is that when you first showed the Patronus killing a demntor it took quite a while, then he was he was able to kill 50+ without a dementor kissing him? That would take a long time and the dementors outnumbered him by so much you'd think he'd be physically overpowered by them. The Patronus might of been bigger because of the presence of so many dementors but it can still only take care of one at a time and dementors seem to be fairly powerful creatures.

 

Thanks for all the feedback. I plan to put as much thought into my Harry and Snape fight that went into the Dumbledore Voldemort fight a few chapters ago. Expect Snape to use copious amounts of wordless magic.

I don't know if Bill really won that arguement. Harry said he will do what he needs to survive. We'll see.

As for the Killer patronus and Harry's link to the Dementors. third year was his first exposure. The link was very weak and Harry was overwhelmed most everytime he was around them. In the end with so many present, he was able to summon a powerful patronus and drive them off at the lake. In his 5th year, he was aware of their presence quickly and was able to fight them off mostly without a problem. As he has matured and the link has strengthened it has allowed him to start drawing power from them. He was first able to summon the killer patronus with great effort on his part in the presence of roughly a dozen of them. He can still summon it, but with none around, it takes a lot out of him.

Dementors have a physical aspect to them, but they are not very physically strong. Mostly, they area a skeletal frame covered by some rags. They rely on their aura to weaken their prey and their kiss to finish them off. The aura no longer affects Harry and the kiss, well Harry doesn't intend to find out if it does or doesn't work.

In the warehouse his patronus was the size of a small dragon lets say 5-6 meters in size. It ran roughshod through the trapped dementors as a monster. Hope that makes sense.

Jim

 

I haven't had time to read that much fanfiction lately, but I finally caught up with this story and just wanted to say I still think you're doing a great job. I liked the Ginny/Wormtail possession idea, and Hagrid bum-rushing Voldemort was just cool. Keep up the great work.

-the Jack

 

Agreed. Hagrid getting so close and getting some revenge was great. Especially then using his letter as motivation for the students.

Hagrid is so underused in FF. You used him quite well, and his death had a good impact on Harry.

And it was nice to get rid of Kingsley and Moody early in the story. It avoids harry getting the whole.. "CONSTANT VIGILANCE" Bullshit. Mood like it or not was getting old. The fact that he was overpowered by a death eater in harry's fourth year proves this.


I'm eagerly awaiting your next chapter.

 

Really nice story, and a very enjoyable new chapter. It took me awhile to get into your story, but I'm hooked now. The active Voldemort and use of Mulciber and Rookwood just capped it off. It's nice to see them get a bit more of a spotlight than most fics. Safe to say I'm looking forwards to Harry's fight with Snape.

 

Any clue about an update?

 

It is at the Beta's for final review. I am still trying to figure out if the current chapter is good enough or do I need to push on.

Real life has slowed me down along with the holidays. It will be up over the weekend.

Jim

 

From what you've said it's gonna be a hard chapter to pull off well. I say do your best and move on. Maybe latter you can come back and edit it. Just don't get in a rut and stop updating please. You updates every weekend are always a good way to start the week.

 

I like your sig.
And agree with you completely

 

I put the rough draft that I am awaiting beta response in the work by author section. Feel free to check it out. The final draft will be up as soon as I read what Kokopelli has to say.

Jim

 

Joke submission.

A goblin, a centaur, and a Dark Lord go into a bar. After a few drinks, the subject of females come up.

The goblin boasts, "Goblins are built to satisfy females of any race. It's all about girth. If you stretch them enough, they'll scream your name."

The centaur shakes his head, "Nonsense, we centaurs pride ourselves on satisfying our mares. Our length is second to none!"

The Dark Lord sits quietly as the two magical beings bicker for several minutes until he finally decides to settle it once and for all. "I propose a challenge. We shall each entertain a witch of our choosing while bartender judges when the witch screams the loudest. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

The goblin sequesters a young witch from a nearby table and takes her into a room. The woman shrieks in pain then slowly begins squeal in pleasure. The goblin exits the room and bestows a toothy grin to his companions. "Next?"

The centaur goes into the room, as the witch is heard saying, "Oh Merlin, what did I get myself into." Soon after, the witch is yelling in completion and the centaur exits with an air of superiority.

The Dark Lord enters the room and the woman starts to laugh. She finally calms herself then proceeds to scream her lungs out for several minutes. The Dark Lord finally exits with a satisfied smirk and walks down the stairs as the others stare at his back in wonder.

The Dark Lord casually informs them, "It's not about the girth or length of your wand. It's all about intent in using it. I consider mine an excellent instrument of torture that can loosen many a woman's lips."

Cheers!

 

Chapter 26 Author's notes

Pretty good joke Shaz. Rep point for you! Thanks for all those who reviewed in both the tease and the rough draft. I really appreciate it. I finally solved the communications gap between my beta and myself and now the absolute final version is posted, so if you go back and look at it, it may look slightly different. Not really much changed except for my abyssmal punctuation and word choice.

Okay here are the delayed author’s notes for chapter 26. The actual final version of the chapter is now up (several errors and corrections have been made by Kokopelli). So the chapter may have a slightly different look.

Scene 1 – It’s been awhile since we checked in on Neville and Coedus. I wanted you to see that they were still around and I haven’t just left them out on a limb.

Scene 2 – Ah, good old Black Widow Rush. If anyone wants to use it in their stories feel free, though I would like a credit. I thought it would be nice to give the Veela community a wonderful little potion to help ensure a successful breeding. There are potential side effects for half and quarterbreeds that take it. Most times it results in death. I’ll leave the whole question of whether or not there are male Veelas to others to answer. There would have to be otherwise there wouldn’t be any pure female Veelas left.

As to why they would even bother to make it, well if the magical community had a potion that would ensure that the children are born magical, they’d probably use it as well. Hey! No more squibs!

Scene 3 – Susan and Harry’s make up scene. Probably not the last one either. I like doing these scenes from Susan’s pov. Harry tries to put effort into their relationship, but he has other priorities. Susan has made Harry her only priority. One of the reviewers under the preview of the chapter mentioned that he wished he could come up with Harry’s ‘remember we’ line and that it might have salvaged a couple of relationships. Thanks TEOS.

Scene 4 – A number of people have said that Harry’s Animagus form seemed a bit rushed. Perhaps I am a victim of my own success in doing the Animagus thing from my other story. Harry’s raven form with its Dementor aura is important to the story, but not integral like Harry’s jaguar is in Bungle in the Jungle.

As for the scene, I thought it played fairly well. Part of Harry’s abilities in this one is the ability to ‘learn by doing’. In this case he had possessed Peter and learned how to trigger the Animagus transformation.

As Harry is more in touch with his primal side in his raven form, he is closer to the link with the Dementors.

The raven was a recommendation from ChuckDaTruck. It’s not particularly dangerous, but then again Dumbledore is a goat Animagus in this one so not everyone is some kind of ubercool dangerous animal.

Scene 5 – The first part has Harry fulfilling his ‘window dressing’ obligations for Rufus. The second part, I wanted to demonstrate that Goblins have their own society. Again, this isn’t all bow down and prostrate themselves to Lord Potter friend of non-humans everywhere. I hope I stayed clear of cliché territory by not having Harry fight in the Goblin trial by combat.

Scene 6 – The Peter powered nightlight is the brainchild of IP82. Massive kudos to you! Voldemort had a decade of waiting for his ‘loyal’ followers to come and help him out. I am sure he didn’t spend every moment of his existence plotting to kill Potter and Dumbledore. In my version he had a custom torture for each and every one of his ‘inner circle’.

Scene 7 – I’ve got a soft spot for Lavender. She’s always portrayed as a ‘loose’ girl with no brains and questionable morals. Just like arranging a visit by Voldemort to Fred and George’s shop a few chapters back, I found myself wondering what a conversation between Lavender and Voldemort might sound like.

As for the joke contest, Nukular Winter and ChuckDaTruck have combined for a very nice version of the Dark Lord, Goblin and Centaur coming into a bar joke. Though, I have also received the recommendation to not tell the joke as it will probably be funnier if left up to the reader’s imaginations. We’ll see.

Aberforth bites the dust. Combined with the rest of the fatalities, I have gotten a good number of reviews wondering how many people are left. Rest assured, the HP-Lexicon tells me that there are still plenty of people left for disposal.

Scene 8 – Poor Sturgis, death by Delacour.

Scene 9 – I wanted to go further and do the fight between Snape and Harry. Most have already guessed that the two masked Death Eaters are the brainwashed Hestia Jones and Emmeline Vance. The problem was more text took away from Dobby’s death and Harry’s unintentional slaying of Fleur. Harry has shown that he can kill his enemies, in cold blood if necessary. Now he has to deal with killing someone who he didn’t intend or want to kill. Some said he should gone ballistic with Dobby’s death. The point was he knew Fleur wasn’t responsible for her actions. He was trying to save her. One version I toyed with was him saving her only to have the drug in her system kill her anyway. I liked this one better. Heroes and bad guys don’t always succeed. Sometimes they fail.

The floor is open for your comments…

Jim

 

It would be a cruel twist, but sometime after he beats himself over the head about Fleur's death he finds out that it was very likely no matter what he did (short of letting her have her way with him and snacking on his liver in the process) she would have died anyway.

Maybe, Mama Black should explain it to him...she obviously knows what was happening (or should have happened).

As far as Harry's Animagus transformation (or is that animage) goes, what's wrong with it? I thought you were being painfully obvious in showing that Harry pilfered that little tidbit from the Rat's 'gray matter'...Harry is not a 'theory' guy. He's much more, 'show me what you want' and then he produces the desired results.

 

Death List to date

Out of morbid curiosity, I have compiled a list of all fatalities from this story and credit the person responsible for their death. I've been getting so many "Is anyone going to be left?" reviews that I thought a summary was in order. According to the HP-Lexicon, I still have plenty of characters to dispose of.

Jim

Chapter 1 – Dana Bones (Snape), Amelia Bones (Voldemort) and at least one Death Eater(Susan)

Chapter 2 – Rodulphus Lestrange (Harry)

Chapter 3 – Amazingly enough no one died this chapter.

Chapter 4 – Kreacher (found dead at the foot of Mrs. Black’s portrait) Several people die in Voldemort’s flashbacks to the 1950’, 60’s and 70’s.

Chapter 5 – Augusta Longbottom and all living Longbottoms except Frank, Alice and Neville, Zack Smith and immediate Smith Family, Anthony Goldstein and immediate family (Deaths by various Death Eaters)

Chapter 6 – Harold Travers (Death by Knightbus summoned by Neville)

Chapter 7 – Percy Weasley (Voldemort)

Chapter 8 – Another chapter where nobody dies, I must be slipping.

Chapter 9 – 10 Muggles and 1 Squib sacrificed (Dementors) Harry learns that Petunia lost 3 unborn children to the Blood Wards at #4.

Chapter 10 – Spanish speaking Auror (Voldemort), female Auror (Pettigrew), two other Aurors in the central chamber (Death Eaters), Auror Taber (Necrodragon snack), two Death Eaters on brooms (Tonks), large numbers of Aurors and some Death Eaters (Combat at Azkaban), numerous Muggle rescue workers and the Muggle family in the car wreck, Mundungus Fletcher (Dementors), two Dementors (Harry)

Chapter 11 – Kingsley Shacklebolt, Alastor Moody and a house elf (Voldemort), Several dead Muggles (Dementors and Vampires)

Chapter 12 – Bellatrix Lestrange (Tonks), three Vampires (Bill and Harry)

Chapter 13 – No one directly dies though Igor Karkoff’s body is mentioned.

Chapter 14 – Another Death free chapter, I don’t understand all the comments that is so brutal?

Chapter 15 – Yet another chapter devoid of senseless death. *Sigh*

Chapter 16 – Death Eater Nott (Ministry Ambush)

Chapter 17 – No one dies yet again.

Chapter 18 - Several flashback victims of Fenrir Greyback including the werewolf that bit him, Fenrir Greyback (Hagrid), two werewolf lieutenants (Lupin and Hagrid), Lee Jordan, George Weasley and Katie Bell (Voldemort), Luna’s father (Pettigrew)

Chapter 19 - 5 or 6 goblins (Flint), Marcus Flint (Gargoyle), 4 human customers of Gringotts (Gargoyles), 1 Gargoyle (Susan), 1 additional Goblin (Gargoyle that injured Susan)

Chapter 20 and 21 – Approximately 50 Arcromantulas (including Aargog), 30 Werewolves, 5 Death Eaters (Including Walden McNair), 1 Necrodragon, Fluffy, Norbert and Hagrid. I really should have called one of those chapters “Destroy All Monsters!”

Chapter 22 – The Arcromantula Nest was destroyed resulting in large numbers of Centaur and Arcromantuala casualties. Scrimgeour hints of several skirmishes between his Aurors/Auror Auxiliaries and the Death Eaters but notes that casualties have been ‘light’. Unnamed Eastern European Death Eater and Lucius Malfoy (Harry).

Chapter 23 – Nagini (Harry)

Chapter 24 – Piotr Levski (Harry), two additional Death Eaters (Aurors)

Chapter 25 – An unspecified number of Dementors, the larger of the two remaining nests – if you really care I was thinking somewhere in the neighborhood of 150-200 (Harry), both Scrimgeours Auror bodyguards and a handful of other Aurors from the ministry strike force (Dementors)

Chapter 26 – Three unnamed Goblins (Spinebreaker), Chippedfang (Goblin warrior), Aberforth Dumbledore (Voldemort), anyone else that had been in the Hog’s Head at the time (Death Eaters and Voldemort), there are also implied deaths of people from Rookwood’s, Mulciber’s and Rastaban Lestrange’s attack groups, Sturgis Podmore, Daedulus Diggle and Dobby (Fleur Delacour), Fleur Delacour (Harry)

Jim

 

OH MY GOD!! LIKE TOTALLY AWESOME CHAPTER!!

What's going to happen with Harry? Are he and Susan REALLY in Love?!

Oh mY Gawd! Could you imagine if Susan and Harry were your best friends in real life! That would be SO kewl!

God! Why won't my boyfriend be more like Harry? Bastard is SO SELFISH! All he does is play video games! You know he camped out for that "We" the other day? Can you imagine? He won't eat my pussy, but he'll sit there and play "SOCOM" even though the blisters on his thumb have popped twice all reaady!

P.S. Sorry about that. Spur of the moment. Probably won't happen again.

 

At least not until the next weed night?