Honestly. Anybody who refers to written smut as "Lemon" automatically writes shitty porn. I have never seen a case where the opposite has been true.

 

"Magic", "Wizard", etc. as a modifier for basic things.

I get it when Ron calls it Wizard's Chess: he has to explain to Harry and Hermione, both muggle-raised, how it differs from chess as they understand it. And behind the scenes, Rowling had to do the same for us.

But now, everybody reading an HP fanfic understands this, Harry understands this, Hermione understands this. Draco Malfoy should call Gringotts either by its name or "the bank" not "the magic bank". Quidditch is a sport, not a "magical sport". Wizards have no reason to either want or to need to make the distinction. The modifier implies that there is a more well-known version out there, which to pure-bloods in particular makes no sense.

 

You might get some push-back from Ron on that one.

 

Thankfully, despite mellowing considerably over the years in regards to the character, I still have no concern over Ron Weasley's opinion on anything. And other than claiming he's neve had a naughty thought about Hermione, I like to think Harry's more or less on the same page.

 

In canon they tend to refer to things like this. They have the ministry of magic, care of magical creatures, etc. Wizards like to to talk about how magical everything they do is I suppose. I can understand why its a pet peeve because it is rather silly.

 

• Luna's hidden value is discovered, but old habits die hard. "Loo–Luna," they say, catching themselves at the last moment, as though her given name and its diminutive did not lead with phonetically identical syllables.
  
  
• An adult (one of Hermione's parents, perhaps, or a sympathetic professor) silently reflects that something about Harry makes him seem so much older than his age; it's probably the look in his eyes. His suffering is immeasurable! Their very heart breaks.
  
  
• Daphne Greengrass has no relevance to plot or bit role better filled by someone with greater canon presence; is shoehorned in anyway.
  
  
• "Harry/Draco is insipid fangirl wish fulfillment," says the discerning reader. "Any new Harry/Fleur fics?"

 

Omg u shut yur hor mouth rite nao.

Actually, quoted for somewhat truth. Far too much of Daphne as written is utter shit.

 

I wanted to post a piece of Harry/Daphne dialogue, that recently made me ragequit a fic, but fuck, it's painful. Fuck.

Edit: nevermind. Here it is.

Spoiler

Note: corvo corleone is 15, NY mob boss. i know.

Guess who?"

"Daphne?"

Corvo turned around to see Daphne smiling playfully at him. He stood up and reached out to her.

SLAP!

Corvo touched his stinging cheek in shock while Daphne smirked.

"Rule number 1 Mr. Corleone with dealing with women is that the woman always has the last word. Understood."

Corvo nodded dumbly, completely flabbergasted at the slap. Alexander, Vitali, and Sonny were holding their napkins to their faces, trying to stifle their laughter.

"Well Ms. Greengrass I guess I deserved that after abandoning you at the tango," Corvo said smoothly. "But I sense there is something else you are agnry about as well signora."

"You damn well I'm angry. Now you follow me and you WILL eat lunch with my mother and sister," Daphne commanded. Corvo straightened indignantly.

"Pardon my language but who the hell do you think you are? I am Corvo Corleone and I will not be commanded about like some dog."

Before Corvo could react, Daphne reached out and twisted his ear, causing him to bend down painfully.

"Now listen here Corvo, you abandoned sweet little me after molesting me in the middle of a party if I so recall, offering money to silence my protests. I refused your money knowing that you owe me one. I'm calling in that favor now so you will bloody well sit with me and my family, even if I have to pull you by sagging gonads you call testicles. Do you understand?"

 

Damn, I cringed while reading that dialogue above. There's terrible and there is that.

One pet peeve of mine is when authors change Harry's name. Harold, Hadrian, Haraldas, Henry. Damn, what's wrong with Harry?

 

When Harry has his name changed and the author can't be assed to remain consistent.

 

Do they realize that a gonad is the overarching term for a reproductive organ, not a put down. So every guy's testicles are sagging gonads- at least when it's hot out.

 

That is your biggest problem with that dialogue?

 

It's a very common name, and doesn't sound "magical". Remember how Tom Riddle hated his name because it was so common, and changed it to some grandiose French one? that's what those authors are doing, though they don't seem to realize the vanity of it.

Also, I just saw "Harrell Potter" today. I shit you not.

 

For me, it's because it doesn't set it off as speech, but rather, make it part of the author's narration. I tend to read those with a different voice.

 

Still better than Rahkesh Asmodaeus.

 

How can you be aware of the presence of the comma before you get there in the passage though?

"At this point you should be reading in a 'character voice' until you get to the lack of a comma" said Wildfeather, confused as to how you divined the lack of a comma at the end of the sentence while still reading at the beginning.

 

I think perhaps a lot of us revise the voice we read in based on the punctuation at the end.

"Look, mister... Potter, was it? I'm going to have to ask you to leave, since you're scaring the customers?"

The question mark on the end of that doesn't fit. But I'm willing to bet you read with a questioning lilt on the end just because it was there. It's the same thing with the lack of punctuation - you look for that key to tell you how the sentence sounds, and when there's none to be had you instead read it in this weird monotone.

This is a pet peeve of mine all in its own. Authors making characters laugh at things that aren't funny. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

 

Yep. Plus, I think those of us who are native English speakers (and probably many others as well, but I can't speak to that) actually hold the sentence in abeyance in our mind until we finish it, then apply the tone and force when it's finished. That's part of the reason long sentences, especially those not properly punctuated, are so difficult for many to read.

 

Damn. I left fandom for a few years it's like I've blocked out the worst elements only now they hit back like a bloody freight train.

Tracey Davis or Daphne Greengrass making a reference to some mundane film or band in order to let the audience know the author's favorite bit of pop culture that not all purebloods are hateful to muggles and muggleborns.

There ought to be some sort of aptitude test required before you're allowed to put your story anywhere near Daphne Greengrass. Said test would not be difficult to write:

1. Daphne Greengrass is the ____________ of Slytherin.

Guarantee we can knock out 90% of applicants right there.

 

The answer is "sexiest", right?