So from this summary I gather that: Harry has some kind of idea (happens in pretty much every fic), his world is going to change (happens in pretty much every fic) and he'll face danger (happens in most fics). I have absolutely no idea what this story is about, and nothing draws me to read it.

 

Clearly, this is a crossover with the Tick.

 

The Wish
By: the dork knight
Entered into the tournament and feeling abandoned, Harry Potter uses a special wishing stone that had been given to him by a mysterious old woman. What does he wish for and how will his wish change the course of history?
Rated: Fiction M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,095 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 581 - Follows: 799 - Updated: Dec 21 - Published: May 25 - id: 11271762

While the summary isn't particularly terrible. I felt I had to post this excerpt from chapter 12 of this fic:

"Very good," Ollivander said as he returned the wand to Krum.
The wand maker then moved on to Fleur, who handed him her wand.
"A beautifully crafted wand," Ollivander said. "Though, I must admit that I am unfamiliar with the maker."
"'et was made by someone who 'ad recently started making wands," Fleur said.
"Ahh, I see," Ollivander said. "A new talent… Vine wood, and…"
Ollivander brought the wand up to his nose and sniffed.
"Is that…" he started to say.
"Zee 'air from the 'ead of a vella," said Fleur. "My grand-mère."
"How interesting," Ollivander said. "I don't use vella hair in my wands. I find them too temperamental. However, I am
guessing that since the hair is a blood relation, it suits you quite well."
"Oui," said Fleur.
With a flourish of the wand, Ollivander produced a bouquet of flowers, which he handed to Fleur, along with her wand.
"Ah, now this one is familiar to me," Ollivander said as he moved on to Cedric, who handed him his wand. "Ash and
Unicorn hair from a very honorable steed. I see you've kept it clean."
"I polish my wand every night before bed," Cedric said with a self satisfied smirk. "Sometimes my girlfriend helps me
polish it. She's quite good at it. Always manages to rub it just right to get the desired results."
Harry looked at his wand and noticed finger smudges and bacon grease on it, and quickly tried to clean it with the sleeve
of his robes.
"Very good, very good," Ollivander said, He gave the wand a wave and produced a series of smoke rings. He then
conjured a sailing ship out of smoke and directed it to fly through each of the rings before handing the wand back to
Cedric and declaring it fit for use.
"And Mr. Potter," Ollivander said. "Our mysterious champion."

 

Paws On My Heart by ConqueredKing reviews
Harry divorces Ginny, leaves his job as an Auror and studies to become the Wizarding World's first muggle-style vet. Harry has a plan to raise his son, make his new business a success but falling in love with his assistant Orpheus Lovegood and his partner Elliot Bode was never the plan and could ruin everything. HarryxGinny to start. Ends HarryxOCxOC. Slash and more warnings inside
Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 38,157 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 77 - Updated: Dec 9 - Published: Oct 27 - [Harry P., OC] - Complete

 

Twilight would've been cool if he said stuff like that.

 

Twilight should never have happened period.

 

...................

 

A very complex plot that includes time-travel, secret missions for their government and entangled relationships. 5/5.

 

Deadly Eyes of a Phoenix Reborn by Watermelonsmellinfellon reviews
In the summer after his second year, something unexpected happens to Harry. Changes are occurring, though he doesn't know it. What will he do when he realizes that the Basilisk venom and the Phoenix tears are turning him into something new entirely? How will this change the outcome against Voldemort? A/N:Eventual SLASH/Almost rape/rape aftermath later on. UNDER REVISION, BARE W/ME!
Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 198,688 - Reviews: 1902 - Favs: 2,269 - Follows: 2,813 - Updated: Dec 25 - Published: Aug 10, 2014 - Harry P., Voldemort, Tom R. Jr.

 

His Hidden Heart by sure_as_elle

Harry Potter is not like other boys. He's not even like other wizards. Everyone thinks they know the real Harry, but they're wrong. He has a secret even his friends Ron and Hermione don't know about, a secrets that he fears they would never understand or accept about him. But he may have found someone who understands and accepts him completely; someone who shares his secret. (AU)
Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Harry P., Luna L., Gabrielle D., OC - Chapters: 5 - Words: 35,294 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 153 - Updated: Nov 13 - Published: Jul 15 - id: 11381604

The secret is pedophilia.

 

Jesus christ fucking kill me.

LOL. You do have to wonder about some FF writers though...

 

I just finished reading chapter 3. Luna takes a de-aging potion for Harry which turns her 9 again and then they do anal. They are also grooming a first year for a threesome. I can't wait to find out how they intend to beat Voldemort with the power of pedophilia.

 

Wait what. What? No fucking way. Now this I've NEVER seen. I ain't touching that with a 50 foot pole.

 

All the closed perverts go to ao3.

 

Don't forget the grooming, which is arguably worse. The fact that the summary also pairs Gabriel in with them means that its probably turning into a harem.

 

By freaking him out so much that he kills himself? I mean, he could be seeing it through their connection, and even Voldemort has standards.

 

Yep, that's probably much worse. For some reason I assumed Luna was like 10 before she was 9.

God that's so fucked up, why are you reading that trash.

 

I wonder how old the author actually is? Imagine if someone actually walked in on him while writing that crap.

 

Because this might turn out to be the most offensive thing ever.

 

What kind of 11 year old thinks anything like this the first time they meet someone? Also, who takes nearly a year to write 10k words? And just to show the reading level of his fans, here's the first review.