Comically good Dumbledore unwilling to kill with "edgy" Harry knocking off death eaters makes me want to take an edge to my wrists.

 

Fics that have Harry be related to someone from another fandom as the vehicle of a crossover.

 

James and Lily bashing. Literally the only relationship they have with Harry is dying trying to protect him, yet I'd wager over three-quarters of the fics they feature in (as Harry's parents, not Marauder-era) have them treating him like the Dursleys, because hrr drr not boy-who-lived.

And of the remaining quarter, 90% are probably pro Severus "I tried to kill your husband and kid" Snape and anti-James.

 

On a related note, Harry-raised-by-X fics where Harry is a miniature of whoever raised him. Because obviously every child copycats his caretakers and shares their characteristics, right?

Generally, authors overestimate the willingness of random vampires/mafiosos/superheroes/aurors/demons to raise some stupid kid they found on the streets.

And the willingness of children to commit to a rigid training regime, complete doctorates, and fight crime before reaching 11 years of age.

 

On a related note, Peter-bashing and/or nonexistence in Marauder-era fics. They liked him. He might have been the weakest of the four but he was talented enough to become an animagus at a young age, which is supposed to be ridiculously challenging magic, even if Sirius and James 'helped him along.' They trusted him enough to make him the Secret Keeper, even if they thought they were being clever and tricky about it.

He doesn't just disappear because in a decade he'll do a really bad thing. Lily and James don't risk their lives under Peter's protection but conveniently leave a will saying they suspected he was a bad guy all along. And he's not rubbing his hands maliciously in fourth year trying to 'rat' them out during whatever no doubt retarded prank the writer (I use the word in the most technical sense) has concocted for Sirius and James to attempt.

Bonus points if the prank is some sort of Imperious Potion that takes complete control of the victim's body and makes there clothes disappear in front of the entire school, and forces them to sing and dance a song that won't exist for another quarter-century and wouldn't be known by either James or Sirius if they had lived to that point, anyway.

Double secret bonus points if at the end a banner unfurls in the Great Hall saying, "Today's Entertainment brought to you by Messrs. Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, and Prongs." Triple secret points if it omits Wormtail.

 

Pre-GoF stories (or any story that occurs prior to Voldemort's resurrection) that refer to the first war against him as the First War. First implying, at least to me, that everyone thinks there's going to be a second one that they'll need to differentiate it from.

 

This is a small thing I hadn't really thought about. Thanks a lot, more things to hate!

 

When Harry's alternate love interest and her family automatically doubles as the device to defeat Voldemort.
When Fleur automatically wets her panties the second a male doesn't want to fuck her.

 

Harry leaves Hogwarts and goes to super school where he learns "True" magic instead of what was seen in canon. God, there are so many things wrong with those that I don't even know where to begin.

Also, this thread is just a way to get people to be even pickier readers, so many things I never knew I hated are being pointed out constantly.

Edit:

Could that strategy work in real life? One would think so after so many writes did that shit.

 

That's why I love this thread so much, it's a great checklist for things to avoid.

---------- Post automerged at 17:53 ---------- Previous post was at 17:48 ----------

Yes, but it would have to be part of overall game. It would not work as a single point of entry into her panties. You do have be forward if you want to lay someone, therefore you have to show your interest. That also means you have to show her the difference between wanting to do her and drooling over her. Dependency isn't attractive and being easily available is even less so. Harry has his fame going for him, but everyone hates him in year 4 so that makes him unpopular and very unattractive. He's also younger than her which means he would be disqualified by default. The fact that he mops the floor with her will work in his favor eventually, but there are just too many things that make the pairing unlikely in year 4.

 

Eh...I was being sarcastic, but it was a nice answer nonetheless. I was picturing the more extreme cases of that trope, where Fleur pretty much throws herself at him after he so much as glances at other girl in her presence.

 

Yeah that shit is unbearable to read. You already know what half the story is gonna look like. it's usually paired with unchanged tasks and her brilliant idea's help him become even stronger so that he can buttblast Voldemort with 3 months of boner induced training.

 

That actually sounds like a fic I've read before.

As for peeves, fics where the Malfoy parents are redeemed or specifically 19 years later Harry and Narcissa have a Harry Molly like relationship.

 

Dumbledore being trigger happy with obliviate is the worst thing ever.

 

I just remembered one of my most hated pet peeves in regards to crossovers.

It's when a character's power level is reduced just to keep the balance. For example, if Harry gets transported into the Lord of The Rings universe he might not have his wand in which case all you have is a scrawny kid with no self defence training. Or, even worse, the character loses his memory.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have cases where a character receives powerups just to be able to keep up with the characters of thatunvierse. For example, if Harry gets transported into the Marvel/DC/Naruto universe he might get all three Deathly Hallows, have Death as his summons and be immortal. Sometimes, they might just give the character a power from that universe in addition to their own powers which equally as stupid. Why is there a need to give Naruto Fucking Uzumaki a Green Lantern Ring (And after he's beaten Madara at that)?

Sure, I get the issue of power scaling but it is possible to write a crossover fic without there even needing to be a fight in which a character shows how weak the other universe is. Let's take nonjon's Browncoat, Green Eyes for instance. Harry never had to fight anyone yet in my eyes it is till one of the best crossovers ever written.

So next time you depower Harry and make him an NCIS agent, remind yourself, why do people read Harry Potter in the first place?

 

I'm in complete disagreement with you. Curb-stomp stories are boring as fuck. If you're going to write a crossover you need to have both sides balanced.

 

When people use "lopsided grin" instead of "smirk".

 

The two might mean the same thing but they have different connotations, a smirk sounds like smarmy and smug smile, almost fake, a lopsided grin sounds more lazy or goofy, not mean spirited, or cutting.

 

I assumed people would just write goofy/lazy grin instead of lopsided when they wanted to convey that reaction. For example if Ron saw his first porn magazine, I would describe is grin as goofy and not as lopsided.

 

People use lopsided grin because it's trademark Harry™ in fanfiction, not for any other reason.