I think most people have had an emma watson wank

 

Not from me Sir she isn't a pure blood.

 

Well I'd love to have an Emma Watson wank for sure.

Also, someone witty needs to abuse the shit out of these House titles in a humorous story.

 

Gryffindorks, slimy Slytherins, Ravencunts, and Huffelpufters. I see these names in fanfiction and it kills a piece of my soul every time.

 

I haven't seen Ravencunts, which makes it rather hilarious to me.

Harry Potter and the Diadem of Ravencunt seems like a good title for parts of book 7 tbh.

 

I was actually being facetious about Ravencunts, but I bet someone somewhere has a "failed" fic that refers to Ravenclaw's name in some stupid way.

A quick google search gave me this.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7125882/3/It-s-Not-Easy

Holy shit... Just google ravencunts and fanfction.

 

I hate... you. But more in a shoot-the-messenger way than anything about you specifically.

 

I try my friend.

 

How about "Noble and Most Ancient House" nonsense? I firmly believe that the Black family never actually referred to themselves as that, Sirius just used it to mock the pureblood attitudes they had.

 

Depends. It's very possible you are right and it was never really expanded upon in canon. But there's nothing wrong with using the idea in fanfiction. It just turns out most fics using the idea suck, either because A. most fanfiction sucks, B. it links in with marriage contracts and harems. Which actually ties in with point A.

 

2 words


Lunar Harmony

 

Wrong. The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black is the header of the tapestry hanging in the Grimmauld Place. Sirius never mentions it, mocking or not.

Whether the "Noble and Most Ancient" thing is a widely spread concept or just something invented by the Blacks is another thing, but the Blacks definitely were serious with it. The only other mentions of nobility (outside of "nobility of actions") that I could find with a quick search is Bellatrix referring to Neville as "coming from noble stock" as a part of recruitment speech, and the Gryffindor Ghost referring to his "noble blood".

 

Huh. I could have sworn it's only use was when Sirius was talking about the Black family. I guess it's been a while since I read the books.

In any case, I still think actual nobility probably never existed. Otherwise, you would think someone would actually bring up other families being of "The Noble and Most Ancient House of Something".

 

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a disproportionate number of actual nobles (or at least historical noble families no longer recognized/thought to be extinct by muggles) within the Wizarding families, as magic seems like just the kind of shortcut you'd want to have if you wished to embed yourself into the ruling circles.

For example the Malfoys used to be closely connected with the royalty before the Statute of Secrecy, and according to Pottermore were even against it. Hard to believe anyone could have had that kind of connections in the middle ages without being considered noble.

 

Harry Potter or any of his peers having an animagus form. Especially when they are in there younger years of Hogwarts. This is a trend in guilty pleasures that really needs to go away.

 

Making becoming an animagus as easy as meditating for a few hours and drinking a potion when it was clearly made out to be an incredibly difficult skill the master. Usually it's accompanied by a line like "well we, the Marauders, found a super secret methods that makes it super easy and everyone else s too dumb to figure it out!"

 

This is really fucking annoying. More so when some author writes about how you can choose your own animagus form. No, you fucking can't. And the number of people who can become one is very, very small, so when they make Harry, Ron, Hermione and everyone else associated with them, which tends to include Neville and Luna first and foremost, be animagi, it completely fucks up the point of such things.

I admit I've seen this only once done in a way that made me laugh: everyone could become an animagus, but they couldn't choose what they'd be, and most of them became something completely useless.

Like a centipede.

And speaking of non-standard forms, it's even worse when the animagus form is that of some magical creature.

 

Phoenix animagus is the best.

Especially when it turns out that Dumbledore has used some dark ritual to bind Fawkes to his will and Harry's new-found powers are the only thing that can free him.

Pet Peeve: Harry using super telepathic powers to communicate with Fawkes. It always comes across as an annoying and lazy plot device. Although, I didn't mind Jasmine ability to understand Phoenixes in A Long Journey Home, so may be it is fic-specific than anything else.

 

Yeah, but what if Fawkes is actually a girl and Harry's literal soul-mate? :^)

 

I think I've read that before. More common with Hedwig though.