Molly Weasley and Voldemort's secret love child.

 

Not the summary, but the AN at the beginning of the first chapter:
Heart of Iron by Cavalyn
Fate/stay night & Sekirei Xover
This isn't based on "In Flight." Personally I love the fanfiction, and think Gabriel has a great style of writing, in fact it was his work that made me want to write a FSN Sekirei crossover, despite (and this will sound INSANE) not having watched/played either of them! So yeah… Wikipedia for the win people.

... Gabriel_blessong is already generic trash responsible for making the F/N a cesspool of generic Shonen Protag! Shirou, but this guy is something special. He doesn't even seem to be self-aware of the parody that he became by writing this.

 

His Own Man
By: jamnaz79
A more confident Harry decides to enter the Goblet of Fire to prove that he is not just the boy-who-lived. Instead he is Harry Potter, a young man that his own legacy to live up to. What can a properly trained Harry Potter accomplish when he decides to take the reigns of his life. Weasley and Dumbledore bashing. Political & Adventure - Multi pairing No Slash
Rated: Fiction M - English - Adventure/Romance - [Daphne G., Harry P., Susan B.] - Chapters: 13 - Words: 56,680 - Reviews: 591 - Favs: 2,148 - Follows: 3,016 - Updated: Aug 5, 2015 - Published: Dec 8, 2014 - id: 10876492

 

Let me guess, there's a charm that relays all this information on a piece of paper. And every healer other than Madam Pomfrey knows it.

 

pfsh... Goblin ritual knife with blood on parchment you dofus. Honestly...

 

The best part of that is the "born August 1st 1980 12:02 Am"

Clearly, this is a very blatant setup for Voldemort going after Harry due to a simple clerical error, and that Neville is the real BWL.

 

It is telling how much we can all tell about the plot just from reading this retarded charm output, isn't it?

 

Shut up you all, Henry is just that awesome.

 

/10char...

 

A Perfectly Imperfect New Year by Kurai the Scarlette Kitsune Harry and Draco have been talking and getting to know each other since their initial meeting in the boys' lavatory. A friendship began budding. Now that New Year's is upon the world, Harry finds himself wondering what traditions the wizarding world has and asks Draco. In return, Harry offers to show Draco one of the New Year's traditions among muggles, but only if Draco trusts him.Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,688 - Published: 3h ago - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete

I...Don't think I've ever met anyone in the toilets. Just standing at the urinals and looking to the guy to your right.

"Hey mate, how's it going?"

"A little rough but I'm forcing through it."

"Life always pushes you down, the important thing is getting back up."

"Nah mate, I'm on about my pissing. Cor blimey, you got a big one there, don't ya?"

"Yeah. Hey, you wanna hang out some time?"

 

The Fall of the Veils by lettered Kedavranox
This is the fic where Muggles find out about wizards, wars are fought, Apparition is abolished, political conspiracies abound, Draco is asexual, and Harry has Legilimency sex with him.
Site: Archive of Our Own | Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling | Published: 2014-03-20 | Words: 60501

 

Was going to make a horrible pun but found this gem

Despicable Me: The Other Sister by Zombie-aft-kicker
How is Aurora gonna be able to handle being adopted by an Villain, being a witch, and keeping her sisters out of trouble? read to find out. Rated T to be safe
Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,846 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 24 - Updated: Aug 11, 2014 - Published: May 14, 2014

 

See, I was curious and wanted to read this, so I googled "Kedavranox" and this was a snippet in the first result:

Thanks, mate

 

This... actually sounds awesome. I'll add this to my list.

 

Now you've got me really curious about the cigarette what about it? Does it burn Harry? I'm almost afraid to read this fic and find out.

 

.....I swear I read this exact same thing in a completely different fic. It even had the random foreign properties (in Salt Lake City of all places). Are badfic writers all part of a (really stupid) hive mind, or what?

 

"... And then, shocked by the revelation that Draco wasn't just a slightly masculine girl but actually a dude, the cigarette fell from his mouth before landing on his erect cock."

 

Correct me if I'm wrong but according to some survey made on DLP i read some time ago it was discovered that from the whole fanfiction demographic, only ~10% are female. THEN WHY THE FUCK 70% of fanfiction stories are about Harry and Draco waving their dicks at each other?

We must somehow return justice to the world.