In honor of Alan Rickman, Severus Snape IS Metatron, on vacation, fucking shit up. I would read it. Then cry into my pillow.

 

That is completely up to your interpretation of that part of the story. It can go either way depending on how you interpret the end of that passage. I think both ways of looking at it are completely valid, and I haven't really seen enough to tip the scales either way in which I think is more likely.

 

"So, Potter," the blond Slytherin - Darla... no Daphne, that was it! - purred. "It seems there were quite a few things I didn't know about you."

Harry rubbed the back of his head, looking slightly put out.

"Can we talk about this later," he asked. "It's just that I hardly know you and maybe we could take some time to..."

"Go on," she whispered, her mouth suddenly rather close to his ear.

"I'm sure you're a very nice girl," Harry said, pushing the svelte blonde off and ignoring her pout. "But I'm having a bit of an existential crisis here, and I am not going to get into a relationship with any of you birds - you, Susan, Fleur... Until I get to the bottom of magical cores."

 

Contemplating a sort of SMT/Harry Potter Crossover/Mashup, bringing elements from both universes together, but that's just sitting in the back of my mind as I binge play Devil Survivor 2, whether I actually ever make a concerted effort at doing it is still undecided.

 

What's SMT? All I'm getting from Google is an interactive whiteboard company.

 

Shin Megami Tensei. Basically Satanist Post-Apocalyptic Pokemon.

 

So I was walking home and suddenly had the idea of a real-life crossover (?) fic where Donald Trump becomes Hogwarts Headmaster.

This would either be the best or worst thing. Either way, it would be a privilege to witness.

"When's the last time we beat, let's say, Durmstrang in a Triwizard Tournament? I beat Durmstrang all the time."

"Are Squibs even wizards? I don't know."

"I have a great relationship with the Muggleborns."

"When people go to Slytherin, they don't come out as our best. They don't come out as you. They don't come out as you. They come out as people who have lots of problems, and they get those problems in Slytherin. They learn illegal curses. They learn how to make deadly potions. They become Death Eaters...And some, I assume, are good people."

"Gilderoy Lockhart is a low energy loser."

"Somebody's doing the cursing."

"When did we beat Beauxbatons at anything?"

"Laziness is a trait in Slytherins."

"Why is Fudge playing Quidditch today?"

And on and on and on.

 

Horace Slughorn would love Trump.

 

Instead of the Statue of Secrecy there would be "The Wall", a big, beautiful and powerful wall separating them from muggles.

 

Not just the wall it's "The Secret Wall". Perhaps Trump has some history in the Game of Thrones.

 

I still maintain that Ron Swanson would be the greatest Headmaster ever.

 

Set the Trump story in OotP and you can add in a forbidden romance with Umbridge.

 

A forbidden romance that ends with two incompetent people trying to kill each other through subterfuge.

 

Instead of Umbridge you could put in Sarah Palin.

 

The Dark Lord Returns

In the year 2021, Albus Severus Potter is in his fifth year at Hogwarts.

For years, he has proven himself a capable Slytherin and has brought his house pride. Though for his father Albus was a disappointment due to the boys interest in the dark arts.

Albus and his closest friend Scorpius Malfoy have learned from Harry what happened to Lord Voldemort. They learned that the Dark Lord was trapped in limbo, unable to pass on or come back as a ghost.

And so the two students decided to try to contact him, ask him to teach them the dark arts. After searching for a long time in the Forbidden Forest, Albus and Scorpius find the Resurrection Stone Harry discarded there all those years ago.

Using the stone along with certain dark spells, Albus manages to summon Voldemort's shade.

And predictably, it all goes terribly wrong.

Voldemort, desperate to return to the world of the living, latches on to Albus' soul like a parasite.

Back in the world, the Dark Lord decides to be cautious. He turns Scorpius into his first follower and slowly begins returning to his former power.

 

My first thought is: Why would Harry share that information with a pair of dark arts obsessed teenagers?

My second thought is: He wouldn't.

 

As a warning? "Son, Voldemort fucked up and he can't even reach heaven. Be careful what you do."

But even if that is not plausible, they could have overheard him talking to Ginny. Problem solved

 

That whole plot bunny is nonviable, for the simple fact that anyone named Albus Severus Potter would commit suicide at first opportunity.

 

He is trying to get revenge at his parents by reviving Voldemort, duh.

An idea I haven't given much thought to yet - Harry is bored. He uses the Resurrection Stone to summon the shades of dead Death Eaters and have them confront Voldemort, who's in his aborted fetus form. Then just to make it interesting, add Dumbledore, Snape, and a bunch of other dead people, and have one big ghost party where they talk things out with their post-canon knowledge.

 

Yeah yeah, cool dude. I get the joke

But the idea itself of someone reviving Voldemort and getting possessed seems appealing to me.