There's plenty of the time loops that aren't shown, I'm sure the occasional naughty thought has snuck in off screen. That said Zorian was pretty explicit in taking every loop seriously and not treating any of them as a plaything.

 

Nobody103 doesn't mention it but every other loop is a month of drug fueled debauchery. Priorities you know?

 

Or maybe he's one of those weird people that focus on trying to not die horribly instead of starting up a romantic attachment that can only last a month at most, and then gets reset back to how it was earlier.

 

I think it's a combination of Zorian's own nature (contrary to popular belief, not all teenagers are lust-crazed beasts), Taiven's traumatic rejection, the fact that building a relationship inside a time-loop is difficult, and the existence of so many other interesting and lethal things to occupy his time. Also, the degrading memory packet has been hanging over his head like the Sword of Damocles for a while now, pushing him to spend his loops in a manner that's at least somewhat productive.

 

You all have good points, but it's mostly his thoughts I have a problem with not his actions. I get that he's a serious person with a mission, but no one is that focused or without temptation.

I can understand why he acts the way he does but the way he thinks just seems sanitized. He should occasionally at least blush or think about what someone looks like naked. His purity of thought just feels unrealistic to me.

 

Granted, and he should probably have to take a shit at some point too. It's not relevant to the story however, and so thankfully, the author doesn't write about it.

 

Yeah, this isn't really a 'slice of life' fic DsRaider, we're reading a story about a time loop with unimaginably powerful enemies around every corner, and the young kid wizard thrown into the loop that starts with threadbare skills and develops into these powerful enemies demise.

I enjoy the story for what it is, not what it could be.

 

I'm also enjoying the lack of romance, and find it to make sense with the situation at hand. For one, anything he starts is going to be temporary. Now, that in and on itself isn't that bad, you could write a compelling romance angle around that, knowing everything inevitably resets and how he then deals with that.

That would, however, take up large amounts of screentime. there can't be a little romance, it's either not there at all, or it's a huge part, no inbetween.

So yeah. Whether it is because he has no romantic interest in anyone, or he simply doesn't want to start anything because of the time loops, I'm glad we don't see him pining over someone.

I do wish for more social interaction though. So far, his classmates have been fantastic.

Besides, it's one thing to use the time loop to gain skills, it is something else if he uses that to manipulate himself into a romantic/sexual relationship with someone, via trial and error. That would be distinctly uncomfortable and rape-y. I'm glad that the other people in the time loop are not mere props for him but real people. Real people he keeps at a distance for a reason, so that he doesn't get emotionally devastated every time they die.

 

So, I had this giant block of text with quotes and references and I was talking about how I was re-reading and found some things that blew my mind, I was about to post it, and then it got erased. So here's the shortened version:

1. Zorian might have had prophetic dreams (not unusual for those that are Open) before and not noticed, and his offhand descriptions (talking birds, floating pyramids, three-eyed wolves) may be hinting at what is going to happen later on in the story. Are the birds pigeon/eagle-shifters? Are the floating pyramids that key to unraveling the mysteries of the time loop? Is the three-eyed wolf the appearance of the primordial they are trying to summon?

2. The Dungeon isn't something isolated that only appears near Mana Wells. The Dungeon runs throughout the WHOLE WORLD!!!!! No one knows how far down it goes and what creatures inhabit those lower levels. That fact is suuuuuuppppppppeeeeeerrr scary to me. I would not be able to keep calm if I knew that there were millions of creatures that could easily kill me, living beneath my feet. Are the primordials living in the center of the planet?

 

Lazarus: Form Recovery

 

According to Ikosian belief, that is pretty much it. Well, it is hard to say if they are currently underground or in a different dimension, but according to the story of how the world was created, as written in chapter 20. A Matter of Faith:

According to Ikosians, the world was originally a swirling, shapeless chaos, inhabited only by the 7 primordial dragons. One day, the gods descended from the higher planes of existence and killed all of them save one. This last one they refashioned into the material world that humans now inhabit, turning her body into dirt and stone, her blood into water, her breath into air and her fire into magic. The vast networks of tunnels stretching beneath the surface of the world are dragon veins, now empty of blood that had been turned into the seas but still flooded with magic emanating from the Heart of the World – the fiery, still-beating heart of the primordial dragon that rests somewhere deep underground. Far from being content with her fate, the Dragon Below still rages against her bounds, giving birth to natural disasters like volcanoes and earthquakes. Unable to strike back against the gods themselves, the dragon takes her anger out on their favored creations – humans – by utilizing her heart, the one thing the gods have not seen fit to take away from her. Pieces of it continually flake off from the main mass, giving birth to horrifying monsters whenever they hit the ground, at which point said monsters begin their ascent to the surface to terrorize mankind…

We can see that all monsters are creatures that originate from the World Dragon's flaking heart. And the primordials are basically the first monsters to ever be created. As Batak (Note: The word 'Batak' in BHS, stands for drumstick, as in leg of poultry, kinda funny) the priest said in chapter 26. Soulkill:

Primordials can't be summoned, since they're down here with us already. Bound, forced into sleep and locked away, but still with us. What they can be is set loose.

Which pretty much says they are sleeping somewhere. Deep under the earth would be my first guess if they were bound who knows how many years ago. Also, the reason why they picked Cyoria might be because the Hole (yeah I know.. that's how it's called) is actually the entrance to the resting place of one of those primordial monsters.

 

"Sympathy for the Spider" Ctrl F "prophetic"

Also, yak, what is Lazarus: Form Retrieval?

 

The plot seems like it's moving along nicely at the moment. We're finally done with invading the mansion in the woods, and now we've brought Xvim into this whole mess. I'm pretty interested in learning more about the mayor, though I fully expect that plot point to be shelved and brought back a little bit later. In my opinion, there is definitely some sort of tragic story here. My guess is that the mayor took up necromancy after his wife died and is trying some desperately stupid gambit to bring her back to life. The Xvim ending to this chapter is definitely really nice though. He's been such a cool character, despite us not being able to really explore his personality up until now. Now that he knows about the time loop I fully expect plenty of interesting things to happen.

-----------------------

Anyways, as for a full review, I just binge read this over the last few days. This story is great, and I hate that I like it so much.

The world the author throws us into is simply massive and incredibly detailed, and I am constantly left wanting to know more. The story is pretty intricate as well, and there are so many different unresolved plot points that I'm interested in finding out about. The large plot points are interesting, for example, what is in the Matriarch's packet? When will he meet up with Zach? Who is Red Robe? But also the small plot points that are left as sort of "sidequests". I really want to know more about the witch in the woods. I want to figure out the mayor's motivations and soul thingy. I want to see more interactions with classmates. I want to eventually explore the secret government research facility. I want to learn about the cat shifters. Maybe we'll even find time to go abroad and we can meet Damien. There's just so much opportunity for this story.

However, the technical aspects of writing leave a lot to be desired from me. The author has a terrible, terrible habit of switching randomly between past and present tense, and it just breaks the flow of the story so much. Some sections also seem to flow poorly to me, but that's a minor concern compared with over forty chapters of random tense switching throwing me for a loop. It just pains me so much that such a good story is marred by this mistake, and if the story was any worse I would have dropped it much sooner simply on principle.

 

I tend to notice tense switching, and I don't recall encountering much of it in this story. I find it odd that I would have missed it since it's one of the things that completely drives me up a wall. That said, I actually agree with Silly that the writing is somewhat sloppy at times, and the author would benefit from having someone give it a solid editing pass. I think I've noticed a few glaring mistakes in nearly every chapter, and that was without really looking for them.

 

I'm in the same boat, Ched. I don't think I notice this error often.

As an example, here's one from the last chapter: Zorian's explanation winded down

I gave you enough information to google it without going further off-topic. It's the cure for what ails you. Lazarus: Form Recovery is a browser extension that saves and recovers text you've typed. When I hit the Lazarus icon in this text box I'm given a list of the last dozen posts I've typed on DLP.

If you click away, or close the page, or it fails to send, etc., then you can recover it near instantly with Lazarus.

 

It's something that personally bothers me a lot. I tend to notice grammar mistakes pretty easily. One or two mistakes I can dismiss as typos, but when it happens frequently I just assume the author is incompetent (it's not always true, but is much more common when they don't know how to use proper grammar).

I think it's gotten better in the most recent few chapters, but the beginning chapters especially are littered with random tense mistakes periodically.

 

Well, that reveal sure gave a new spin to some things. The plot thickens! And it's pretty damn interesting.