What. The Hell. I won't put the following in spoiler tags, because I don't want that anyone overlooks it, but please be aware that it contains spoilers.

How to fuck up a story's scope in less than 1,000 words, powered by The Sinister Man.
So, freaking House Elves are basically gods. No, not basically, they are Gods. Gods that create new universes and can drive humans insane by screaming out loud three universes away from them (what the hell, I don't even...). Gods that fight in space, cause supernovas and black holes and
WHAT THE HELL AM I EVEN READING HERE.

How is anyone supposed to be interested in a 12 year-olds political power play now that we know that some day a "Dark God" is coming that will most likely be able to reproduce the Big Bang without any effort (considering what happened just there)? How is this in any way related to a child's fantasy novel? Until now, there were interesting, creative ideas that sometimes stretched the suspension of disbelief, but this is just completely over the top, unbelievable and so unfitting in tone, it isn't even funny.
Author's creative enthusiasm run wild, I guess. I just hope he'll think about this, remove this section and never turn back to it again. But somehow I think it'll be an important plot point and this does make me very unsettled about where this is going to go.

 

Yeah, The metaphysical elf battle was weird, but I think it's another piece of the Wild Magic that has been sprinkled through this story. You can argue that the elves took a form that reflected their Masters as well.

Anyway this final chapter and the previous did a lot to set up the next year. It's going to be a long couple of months.

 

Ugh. While the elf battle was wtf-ish, it would be better served if written more as a dreamy result of Wild Magic and less of sort-of-scientifical mumbo-jumbo (alt. Realities, gamma rays, etc.)

The horrible Harry angst about natural legillimency was worst and completely OOC for me - Harry is more than intelligent enough to understand he's not doing any mind control, when Snape very clearly explains it the first time, I think.

Actually, while I felt that this fic had some weak moments for the sake of plot from start, it seems as author forces emotions and emotional reactions more and more on characters, which don't fit them, just because he/she wants to see them, regardless of how out of place are they.

 

Glad to see other people having the same reaction to me in the latest chapter. What on earth has just happened? 'Drake', Durmstrang and Dobby for a start. Harry freaking out at what essentially comes down to his magical intuition and people skill powers. Have loved this so far but I'm hoping we get some answers to this chapter fairly early in the next book, I am baffled.

 

Well, the Drake has been mentioned - it was mentioned by Harry as 'Drake' is name for a man, while 'Draco' is a pampered child. I think the negativity comes from not enough emotional investment into proclamations of young teenagers (drama!) and connection with shitty Draco fics.

Here, I think it's more of a 'teenage angst proclamation' of Draco wanting a clean start, and connecting it to Harry's teenage 'motivational speech'. Eh, whatever.

 

Concerning some issues I've seen mentioned:

Spoiler

Drake was brought up way before and Draco actually did complain about this before accepting it just in this chapter.
Him going to Durmstrang is actually close to canon, because it was Narcissa's influence that prevented Lucius from sending him to Durmstrang.
Pettigrew and Narcissa might grow more acceptable if we take into account what TSM said about Pettigrew. He's a) far better looking than in the movies and b) a completely different character, which I'm sure everyone who's read the story knows. To be honest, I don't see the problem with this relationship.

And The Sinister Man allowed me to quote him on his explanation concerning über powerful God!Dobby:

Spoiler

[The typical (in fact, nearly universal) depiction of house elves is that they are weak cringing wretches who have been cruelly enslaved by the evil wizards and either treated like crap by the Malfoys or with condescending indulgence by the Dumbledores until eventually the Great Emancipator Hermione Granger shows up at the age of 14 to suddenly point out that "SLAVERY IS BAD." For this, she is roundly mocked by the author herself who sticks Hermione with a ridiculous acronym like SPEW and has her pursue elvish freedom through silly and ill-considered means such as knitting socks and hiding them everywhere hoping to trick the Hogwarts elves into freeing themselves. Eventually, some time after the series ends, JKR (in response to reader queries) drops a throwaway line to the effect that "while working at the Ministry, Hermione greatly improved the lives of British house elves," a line as completely free of context as "Lincoln freed the slaves," which, while true, also tells us nothing about the Civil War, Reconstruction, Jim Crow, and the Civil Rights movement.

So, here's how I flip the script.

The house elves ARE gods. They're the Lares of Roman mythology. They're the genie in the lamp. They're guardian angels. They're every legend you've ever heard of about beings with vast powers that they will only use when ordered to do so by someone else. Because they are specifically gods OF SERVITUDE. They are the abstract concept of service made real. This is a "big change" to the house elf concept which, believe it or not, actually changes nothing at all. Because house elves who live in Reality and serve wizards are still bound by the rules of Reality and by their own inherent natures. The personas they display (Dobby's twitchy nervousness, Kreacher's apparent viciousness) are roles they play in response to the power dynamics desired by their masters (Sirius expects Kreacher to be treacherous, so he is. Harry is kind to Kreacher, and he acts better).

House elves generally love the ones who order them around, and when they don't, it is because the master pretty clearly doesn't want to be loved by the house elf. But above all, the power they exercise in the material world is a tiny fraction of their full potential, because they cannot use any more without breaking Reality and they Will. Not. Do. That. It is a fundamental part of the house elf's nature, more deeply ingrained than an Unbreakable Vow.

The Rules imposed by this nature are fairly straightforward. A house elf does what its master tells it to do. In the absence of specific orders, a house elf acts in its master's best interests. He can twist specific orders judged not to be in the master's best interests or under certain highly specific circumstances I'll clarify later (basically having to do with Harry's personal weirdness -- even in canon, Dobby implied that he would not have betrayed Lucius for anyone other than Harry). A house elf can never kill or seriously harm anyone unless specifically ordered to, and even then, he'll try to twist the instructions EXCEPT for exceptions like Kreacher and Mogli who have been twisted themselves by years of service to insanely cruel masters. But above all, a house elf will fulfill its orders with the absolute MINIMUM of magical effort.

Consider: We KNOW that Dobby can snap his fingers and send a wizard flying the room. But in Deathly Hallows, he didn't do that to Bellatrix, opting instead to drop a chandelier on her. House elves can clean a room or cook a meal instantly, but we regularly see them doing it by hand. Why? Because doing it the hard way is more work for the house elf.

Viewed that way, the fight between Dobby and Mogli was nothing more than two butlers serving rival houses taking their coats off and stepping outside before engaging in fisticuffs because it would have been unseemly to have gotten into a fight in the front hall and doing so might have damaged the furniture.

[...]I expect the only house elf encounters will be within the confines of Harry's Reality, which means you will never ever see house elves doing anything beyond what you've seen them do in canon. Anything more than that would be indecent.

For those that want to avoid reading that much: No, superpower house elves won't play a big role from now on. Which I think is good for the story, though you could argue whether this scene was at all necessary then. It only serves to highlight what team Mysterioso already showed - that there's much wizards don't know.

As for the change in tone:

Spoiler

RE gamma rays and scientific stuff. The reason I wrote it that way is to accentuate the alienness and power level of the house elves. [...]The goal was to illustrate how the true nature of the house elves is beyond the comprehension of wizard-kind. Wizards think they understand and control house elves and indeed magic itself, but there is so much more that they don't see. I sort of wanted it to be a bit jarring and unsettling[...]

Specifically @James but others also raised the issue that Harry's angst outburst over Legilimency was unrealistic. The author's response:

Spoiler

Harry is highly intelligent (and some people have claimed /too/ intelligent, but he's still 12, and his intellect doesn't trump the fact that he spent ten years with literally no friends. The fear of "do my friends really like me for myself?" is a perfectly common fear for kids of that age and especially with that sort of traumatized background, and it also ties in with the way that I've been using Parseltongue as a metaphor for being gay. (Harry is NOT gay, but he's still in the closet even with many of his best friends.) That was why I immediately had Neville and Theo give him a talking to. He won't be angsting over it in the future, though he is now aware that it's not just natural charm that enables him to wrap people around his finger like he's been doing since his first day at school.

I'd never have noticed that he used Parseltongue as a metaphor had he not pointed out, just saying.

 

[spoilers for chapter 82]

Okay I read the author's explanation about House Elves.
I have nothing against House Elves as Gods of Servitude, if he puts it that way, and if it won't be major.
The fight scene was still bad. Yeah sure it gives an "alien" feel. Because it was bad.

 

Godlike House elves is simply bad subversion of trope. And while connection to Wild is a nice touch, the scene with fight is IMO bad not because it's jarring, but because it has no connection to Wild previously mentioned. It's simply out of place.

Except, you know, it is. At least until he controls it completely. And that's precisely how Snape explained it. What it sounds like really happened was that author got scared that Harry is too intelligent and needed to 'peg him down a little'.

And selected bad place for it.

Don't get me wrong, I like this fic, but this all around sounds like either bad writing ("I wanted to do…") or just bad justifications.

 

This isn't the first time aspects of Harry intelligence has been called into question. Luna using her abilities was able to point out Harry despite never having read any of Oscar Wilde's works was able to point out Wilde's words being quoted.

 

From reading other people's reaction to chapter 82, I'm probably very much in the minority here, but I actually liked it. I really liked it. I can definitely see where you guys are coming from but I have enough faith in Dicra's man the Sinister Man to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I'm not sold on the elf battle but it seemed to me like a contained episode that wouldn't bleed out into the rest of the story. My impression initially was that the elves were fighting using magic and all the scientific jargon was how he chose to represent the clash, more of a metaphysical kind of thing but Dicra's conversation with the man himself shut the door on that interpretation.

As for everything else, Peter was an utter boss. The black plague bit was such a great moment for his character, and even bad guys need a bit of action. I think the pairing of Narcissa and Peter, however fleeting, is quite ingenious, especially the way it was handled. I like how it's come about, it shows their lack of morals, and I'm kind of convinced that this was not the first time they've gotten it on.

I thought that Harry's actions were quite consistent with his character, he basically found out he has powers to heavily influence people to his line of thinking and he started questioning the reality of his relationships. That's not as angstbonerfest as some people would have you believe, it's a perfectly legitimate reaction with his characterisation. Look at the chamber of secrets chapter, Harry became so incensed with his brother he forgot about Riddle. He does have that 12 year old kid lurking inside him.

As for the motivational speech, that wasn't entirely altruistic. He get's in the good books with some people because let's face it, generosity does have it's perks, whilst testing out his newly revealed(?) power, while exerting little to no effort on his behalf. And let's look back to previous chapters, this isn't the first time he's helped out Ron or given him advice. He informed him of Dobby interfering with Jim's mail, and gave him advice on how to proceed. Plus this time, he feels kind of guilty about nearly killing Ron.

And hey, he imposed some limits on Harry's power by not allowing him to be able to influence people who he either has little understand or desire to conform to he way of thinking. Case in point, Tiberius Nott.

TL;DR Give The Sinister Man the benefit of the doubt and reel in those knee jerk reactions. I have faith he knows what he's doing.

 

I did forget that scene actually, but now that you mention it I remember thinking it was stupid then, too. I get what it means for the character, just seems stupid to me. Similar to other stories where Harry's name is changed to Hadrian - sure, it makes sense in the context of the story, but it's still dumb.

Yeah, that specific scene wasn't all that egregious like some of the other stuff I mentioned - it wasn't so much a "wtf" moment for me, and more that I found it incredibly cheesy (though definitely the type of cheesy Ron would eat up without hesitation). The brotherly hug that immediately followed did not help in the cheese department.

Based on the first chapter, Jim and Harry's relationship is going to downhill at some point in the near future, so hopefully I'm not going to have to put up with much more of them getting along, because I enjoy both of them more when they're at each others throats.


A lot of people are looking at some of the odd stuff in the recent chapter, and waving it away because it's consistent with the rest of the story. And while that's all well and good, something weird and stupid doesn't become not weird and stupid just because it makes sense in the context of the story.

This chapter isn't enough to change my view of the story, or anything (I still view this as a 5/5, for sure), but this chapter was definitely a low point for me, as a whole.

 

For me, it does.
Say you've got dragons that can breathe butterflies because those are poisonous parasits that both protect the dragons and at the same time only can live because of them in my universe.
Normally, breathing butterflies would be weird and stupid. In that context, not so much.
That said, it does become weird and stupid when you change the tone of a story for it.

 

Sure, but I thought a lot of those things were weird and stupid even in the context of this story. As a counterpoint to your example: In the context of Twilight, it makes sense for vampires to sparkle in sunlight. That said, while it does make sense, it is still incredibly stupid. And yeah, it ultimately comes down to subjective views of what counts as weird and stupid, but I don't see how one can say that as long as something makes sense in the specific story and setting it takes place in, it's definitely fine.

After all, following that logic, anything that any story does is absolutely fine as long as it fits the rest of the story, which I just can't agree with at all.

I'm not saying that something weird and stupid can't become not weird and stupid because it fits the story - just that it won't necessarily do so in every situation. And this is one of those situations where it didn't, at least for me.

 

There really was a reason why they sparkle? Because if there was not, it doesn't make sense.

It depends really, was a bit too radical in the first post. But if you can make me see why it is that way in the context of the story and why it could be that way in a real scenario where the story's rules are applied, then I think nearly every concept can be believable.
Note: Nearly every concept, and the more stupid it is, the more reasons the author should give for it.
We have a fanfiction on a German fanfiction site which is basically the German "My Immortal" where it is described that one of the most ingenious torture methods in hell is to force people who don't like cocoa bathe in cocoa for eternity.
Seeing as there are scenes where Harry is tortured for hours with a stick with nails in the very same fic (by the Dursleys and Dumbledore, of course), this wasn't that believable.

And of course, you can't really save concepts like this, but this particular fic does take stupidity to the extreme.

 

Agree with you all about the house elf battle scene, was a real head spin. I guess the genie thing does make some sense so I'm prepared to give him some leeway. I wasn't a huge fan of the dialogue either. Interested to see where he's going with that list of Azkaban escapees!

 

End of book two review.

I think the most interesting part of chapter 82 was the headline, because the author could take it in SO many directions. He could do a good!Bellatrix which I normally like, but don't think would work well in this fic, or as a mistake by Regulus.

However, have read the first two books I think the first chapter could be required to change a lot more because, Jim and Harry were trying looking past how badly James treated them both and form a real connection.

 

One of the things that stood out for me in the Regulus Chapter was him discribing Bellatrix as shy, which is so at odds with how she is usually characterized. And with such a large breakout from Azkaban, I can't even begin to guess where the author will be taking things.

 

I have to agree with you on this, but it´s not only Bellatrix but also the Lestrange brothers and Augustus Rookwood who escaped with Sirius Black. To say that Sirius is on the "good" side seems only logical for all hp fans and some like you like the concept of a good!Bellatrix, which can work, but most of the time it feels wrong (just my opinion). However if the author wants to say that these inner circle members have now been turned (or have been framed in the past, or the like) would be out of character and more than just ridiculus. Regulus has been shown as a character who is able to think more than just one or two steps ahead. So it could be a diversion that he freed more prisoners than he initially needed. Or he still sees them as people from the past he could get along with (with Bellatrix beeing shy, idk)