We continue with me making my way into Devon Co. only to realise that I probably have to beat Roxanne to advance the story.

Okay, whatever. I'm feeling fairly confident with Oment at my back so I go ahead and smash the trainers with nary a care in the world. Life is good.

here's the thing about Rustboro gym. It has three trainers. All of which have Geodude and only Geodude. With Oment flying around messing these guys up with water gun it led to a stupid sense of overconfidence.

Bang.Bang.Bang.Bang.


Dead Geodude everywhere.


I went to the Pokemon Center and healed up, returned to the gym and shoved my challenge down Roxanne's throat.

She sent out a Geodude.

Bang. Geodude rekt.

This was all going swimmingly and I felt gloriously confident in myself and Oment.

She sent out Nosepass and I wasn't overly concerned. Y'see, here's the thing. I knew Nosepass would have rock tomb and it would wreck Oment given the chance but I was so overly cocky that I didn't think it would have a chance to land a hit.

Oment circled the gym, warbling out an annoying battle cry. I roared for it to use water gun for the umpteenth time and it swoops letting forth a torrent of water directly into the rock-jew's face.

Shit does like 10% damage.

Time slows and Oment looks back over its shoulder at me as a feeling of dread rises in the pit of my stomach. The look it gives me says, "Don't worry, Boss. I got this. Look at the trail of Geodude I just left behind me. This guy's just another lump of stone."



Rocks fall.







Now, if you think I derped hard with my treatment of Oment, think again. It was a masterclass in strategy compared to my next moves.

Tarsal gets called upon and it eats a rock tomb, barely surviving. I switch in Poytin to give me a chance to heal up. I'm panicking now.

As you're all aware my team is very limited in attacking options and all I can see is sweep city ahead of me. Instead of doing the logical thing and getting Poytin out of there straight away as it dodges rocks I think to myself, "Time for a hail Mary."

I use poison sting in the hopes of poisoning the stubborn little fucker. This is Nuzlocke though and I should have assumed the fates would be against me.

Rocks fall.




Farewell sweet prince.

The combination of losing Oment and Poytin shocks me into getting my shit together.

Sending Drome the little Whismur out is just more negligence and a plan hits me. Why I didn't start out with this, I'll never know.

Ollie motherfucking King takes the field.

It outspeeds Nosepass and uses Charm, harshly lowering its attack. Rinse and repeat with the odd potion in there.

I switch for Tarsal and despite it having the durability of your average champagne glass, it eats Rock Tomb fairly well and uses Echoed voice repeatedly until Nosepass simple shatters from sonic pressure.

I sigh in relief. That was pretty fucking brutal and I felt terrible about my run so far. I take the remainder of my team to the Pokemon Center and bury Oment and Poytin, feeling incredible shame as I do.

The Team Aqua and Peeko storyline plays out with little fanfare and less interest on my part.

I fuck off to Dewford.

What the hell do I do now? My team consists of two admittedly badass Zigzagoon, a Whismur and a Ralts. Brawly could end my run right on this shitty island.

I head to Dewford cave in hopes of a Zubat.

Plzplzplzplzplzplzplzplz...




Ohai.


This is a double edged sword. If it teleports I'm fucked. I have one chance. I take out my singular great ball and pray to all the Hax Gods.

Boom. Vira joins the team.

I grind some and decide to test the waters in Brawly's gym, knowing Vira won't be of much help to me unless I grind for a fuckload of time.

I'm quietly confident in Tarsal and his fairy type destruction though.


I'm gonna cut this one short. Tarsal went full fucking beast mode and wrecked Brawly's gym. I was afraid of my little glass cannon not being able to take a hit but it seems level 16 was enough.

Disarming voice fucking dismantled Brawly without a potion or switch used.


Maybe this won't be so bad after all.


LOL.






Current team.

Tarsal the Ralts - lvl 18 -M
-Shadow Sneak, Disarming voice, Echoed voice, Magical Leaf

LT2000 the Zigzagoon - lvl 15 - M
-Tackle, Headbutt, Tail Whip, Sand attack


Ollie King the Zigzagoon - lvl 15 - M
-Charm, Echoed voice, Headbutt, Sand attack

Drome the Whismur - lvl - 17 - F
-Pound, Echoed Voice, Screech, Howl

Vira the Abra - lvl - 15 - F
-Teleport


In Hades.

Lord Raven the Taillow - lvl 7
Oment the Wingull - lvl 13
Poytin the Beautifly - lvl 11

 

Well, thanks Seratin. I'll be sure to throw your name on some throw-away Pokémon.

So I actually don't have a BW/BW2 to use to Randomise, so I'll just break out Platinum. The Randomiser settings run from the obvious to the absurd, but I'm not in the mood to completely break the game. I'll keep it tame. Ish. It is a randomised run.

• All Pokémon are randomised. Static Pokémon are semi-random: Normal to Normal, and Legendary to Legendary. (So no Friday legendaries near the Valley Windworks). Trades are also randomised, but that's because I want to see what hilarious trades come up - I've had a Weedle for a Mewtwo before.
• For trainer settings: my rival keeps his starter throughout the game. All trainers with level 45+ Pokémon - basically the final Mt. Coronet run and onward - have fully evolved Pokémon, though that probably (have never played with this setting) also includes stuff like the Pikaclones. At least, I hope it does.
• Fixing impossible evolutions. There's a full list on the randomiser website, but the short of it is that the trade evos from Gen I now evolve at level 37, trade-with-item evos are now often level-with-item evos, etc etc. Pure QoL thing by not locking me out of, say, Slowking and Huntail.
• Nuzlocke rules: standard, must nickname, faint is death, yada. No gift Pokémon except starter. Personal preference: use Pokémon I've rarely used.

I'll get this show on the road later, gotta run now. Suffice it to say that I've checked the starters and it's not completely batshit - I've started with a Giratina before...

Spoiler

That Giratina run was fun, though, and tricky. Roark threw a Staraptor and Uxie at me, one of the Barry fights in mid-game had him use an Entei... Suffice it to say, I'll be keeping track of how many legendaries I encounter. The counter stopped at 83-ish in that run.

 

That Wingull was my lead, Oment. Respect the dead. D:

 

Its time @Vira . Your true sweeper is ready to be unleashed

Huh. I think this could result in the mother of all Nuzlockes.

 

Y'all inspired me to try my hand at Nuzlocke runnin for the first time, so here I go:

My journey starts with the camera following some slowly falling pink leaves. Enter dear old mom, stomping the pretty leaves while on the phone with her old gal-pal the pokemon professor. The professor needs a favor, so I am now homeless.
I don't even get the time to cry about the injustice of it all in peace because DLP comes up to me with his little sister and he starts following me around. I find the assistant who has my 'dex and starter at the top of the stairs (no thanks to DLP, who only bothered to tell me where NOT to go) and listen to her prattle on while I wait impatiently for my randomized starters.

Finally! This is the moment I've been waiting for since mom kicked me out 3 minutes ago! The box opens and I get my first look at the starters. The ball in the middle shows a Drifblim, the one on the right holds a Musharna, but I've already picked the remaining one. When you get the opportunity to have an Aerodactyl as your starter, you fucking take it.

So there I go, moonwalking my way of the platform with my awesome Nuzlocke when DLP stops me for a battle. Shit. I have no idea what moves my Aerodactyl has. DLP sends out his Drifblim, that he "hatched from an egg" even tho I just had the option of taking it as a starter, coincidence much? I send out Nuzlocke and check my options; ice, normal, flying and rock type moves, but I have no idea what they do. Well fuck. I decide on the flying move because it only has 5pp so it should be good. So.... Something happens but I deal no damage and the next I know Aerodactyl has been hit by Ominous wind twice and he's dead.

I blink twice, think 'well, so much for my first Nuzlocke run', and black out.

 

Poor Evan the Voltorb. Died before he could use an Explosion vs something Vira would otherwise not be able to defeat.

 

Vira,

Any particular rules on trade evolutions? Without getting ahead of myself I'd like an Alakazam in the future and I'm sure you wouldn't mind Huntail/Gorebys.

 

Knowing my luck, it wouldn't kill anything because Self-Destruction / Explosion got downgraded past generation four. I miss my exploding competitive Heatran.

My rule on trade evolutions is that they're free, like any evolution that needs a particular trigger, though I've never bothered with trade evolutions, in and out of Nuzlocke. Because I'm lazy. <_<

---------- Post automerged at 09:13 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:00 PM ----------

To Fortree!

But first, the route east of the route to Fortree. I remember there’s berries here and a deadend, but I’m pleasantly surprised when I find there is an actual area over here. Nothing of interest, no Pokemon I can see, but huh. A trainer flags me down and after looking at my level 32 team, says, “Haha, noob.”

They send out a level 38 Vileplume.

Bwah? I look wildly in every direction. Am I not supposed to be here? Am I trespassing?

Thaum the Dragonair is out front and I yank him back so hard he goes flying. Instead, Font the Skarmory subs in to wall everything this Vileplume has to offer. Which happens, after Font gets paralyzed and loses half her health. I cheer at my victory and proceed to get the hell out of dodge. Nope, no more recklessness for me, I’ve learned my lesson after twelve deaths.

My teams stomps all the trainers that catch my eye until I make it to the research station. And by ‘until,’ I mean I took a short break before throwing the Aqua nerds out a window. The badgered researcher shakes my hand and gives me a Castform. Ah, another sacrifice for Wonder Trade. I give the courtesy of going downstairs before throwing that sucker away. In its place I get a level 2 Caterpie. Meh, can’t win them all. I name her Lyrium and box her.

Brendan demands a battle on the other side of the bridge, but I can’t remember what happened, it was too boring. Fortree is when things get good because after healing my Pokemon, I swung from tree to tree to the route beyond. New Pokemon, new Pokemon, new Pokemon!

It takes a couple minutes until the cry I was waiting for sounded, and a red alert comes on my screen. Extra special Absol ahead! Woohoo! I tackle that Absol, only to get slammed into a tree. Level 37, bitches! Geez, what are they feeding these guys? I send out Font, who could wall anything physical, but this Absol has no time for my nonsense and uses Night Slash, critting and taking out half of Font’s HP.

Jesus Christ. I heal, and the same thing happens. Hm, I wonder what ability this Absol has??? I heal again and Absol uses Mean Look to prevent cowardly behavior, but he has little to worry about on that front. This Absol is going to be mine. I feel good about using Steel Wing on this thing because it’s so powerful and it takes two to get it low enough to capture. Thus begins a battle of red light, green light. Every time he attacks, I heal. Every time he goofs off, I throw an Ultra Ball. It takes five until Absol recognizes my worth and bows down.

Yeah, that’s the spirit! I name him VanRopen, Van for short, and check his moves. Night Slash, Mean Look, some other move, and what’s this? A psychic move, physical, 70 BP and 100 Acc. Psyshock? That doesn’t sound right. I look at the move closer. Conte Psycho. Isn’t Cut named Conte in French?

Omg, it’s Psycho Cut. I ACCEPT THIS POKEMON.

After I catch Van, my game informs me my Burst Aura Capture thing has worn off, and I vaguely remember my game saying ‘Bravo!’ after trading my Castform. And when I went to my capture menu, my trading/battling menu kept flashing. Did someone give me a power up and that’s why I found this high level Absol? Or was it because it had the red exclamation point? Maybe both?

I don’t know. Whatever, he’s mine now, moving on.

As I cross the bridge, Steven gives me a Devon Scope. Sweet. I punt the resulting Kecleon, and go south down the route. Destiny lies ahead. The Pokemon I’ve been waiting for all game, my blessed savior, the best-

Wtf, who are you? I want to go- No, don’t push me! Who cares about the badge? You’re just some guy. You can’t stop me! I’m all powerful- STOP IT NO

Apparently I need a badge to go further. Fine, see if I care. ;_;

I go back to Fortree. I’ve always liked the aesthetic of this gym and someone must have downgraded the difficulty because I get through the puzzles and trainers no problem. Winona and I lock eyes, and five minutes later, I walk out of the gym, badge in hand. We can’t always have epic climaxes (don’t joke me, put down that keyboard, I SEE YOU DON’T YOU DARE), sometimes an entire team will go down in a couple hits. That’s life.

The border guy is gone by the time I walk back. Good, or I’d add him to my murder list, next to the Lava Ridge gym trainer. I proceed to dodge every trainer, following a light that shines down in the distance. So close. I only detour to the grassy secret base below Registeel’s resting place. This used to be my go-to base. It's right next to a beautiful pond and a small garden. Last Alpha Sapphire play through I was dissatisfied, though I don’t remember why.

Font, Secret Power! Let’s see- Oh.

Now I remember. This place is narrow, damn. It looks wider on the outside. Whatever, I’ll keep it for now. Onwards!

As I step into the grass, a wild Pokemon leaps forward. Shuppet. Was this a new route? Can I catch this Shuppet? She’s cute, I’ll catch her and figure it out later. Good thing Monkey the Gloom is out front, a great catching Pokemon. I’ll name this Shuppet Palindrone and love her and-

CRIT.

Dead.

… I forgot Monkey recently learned Giga Drain. My bad.

Whatever, my team has no room for a Shuppet. It only has room for destiny, and as I cross the lake, a misty mountain looms before me. I use a Max Repel to prevent tragic accidents and enter. A trainer blocks the stairs. You should know better than to stop fate, girl. She sends out a Sableye, but Monkey drains it dry. Good thing we are at a cemetery, little girl; you won’t have to travel far.

These trainers aren’t my problem and neither is the building itself. Only the patch of grass on the mountain's edge. I take a deep breath. Cold wind brushes my face. Here we stand at destiny’s door. My target awaits.

Or it would if the shaking grass would produce anything but Wingulls. Hey, fucktard, give me the main event!

There. There! I hear it!

I go into the grass and there it is. The one and only-

Meditite!




Nah, it’s a Vulpix.

Male. Level 29. Disappointing. I think my que of male names is empty. I might have to get creative. But first, Stun Spore-

Wait.

Doesn’t Vulpix know Roar?

…

Oh no oh no oh no oh no OH NO

Don’t panic. Look it up. Level 29- Okay, no. No Roar. I was overthinking. I just need to figure how to, you know, lower his HP without killing him. Let’s see, Monkey is about to burn to death, Font maybe, Oment no, TMD no, Draco fuck no, Van oh hell no… Fuck it, to TMD. I have twenty-five balls, I’ll get him eventually-

Oh, first ball got him.

YESSSSSS!

And my name que isn’t empty! Please welcome, Octopus the Vulpix! May he live long and prosper.

Current Team.
Font the Skarmory. L35, F. Steel Wing, Fly, Secret Power, Air Cutter.
Oment the Lunatone. L35, M. Hypnosis, Rock Slide, Rock Polish, Psychic.
Thaumologist the Dragonair. L37, M. Thunder Wave, Dragon Rush, Dragon Dance, Extreme Speed.
Monkey the Gloom. L35, M. Poison Powder, Stun Spore, Moonlight, Giga Drain.
TMD the Azumarill. L35, M. Surf, Aqua Tail, Play Rough, Rain Dance.
VanRopen the Absol. L37, M. Night Slash, Detect, Mean Look, Psycho Cut.

Will Deal With Next Update.
Octopus the Vulpix. L29, M.

Boxed.
Kalas the Drifloon. L1, M.
Halt the Clampearl. L25, M.
Lyrium the Caterpie. L2, F.

Rest in Peace.
Kang the Silcoon. L8, M. I suppose some butterflies aren't meant to be.
Seratin the Zubat. L12, M. You tried your best and that's all that matters.
Tinn the Whismur. L18, F. Yeah, my bad.
Shezza the Zigzagoon. L18, M. You did your duty.
Aekiel the Grimer. L17, M. Couldn't you have lasted more than five minutes?
Cheddar the Wingull. L23, F. I'll miss you. Goodbye.
Lutris the Lombre. L26, M. Godpeed, you dancing fool.
Mage the Serviper. L16, M. Ty, bro.
Zenzao the Machop. L27, M. Without you, everything would have ended. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain.
Evan the Voltorb. L25, M. I didn’t understand and that’s my fault. I should have prepared better.
Froggie the Froginder. L29, M. Ughhhhh.
Poytin the Gyarados. L26, M. Eh.

 

I'll bet that Absol has Super Luck, you lucky bastard.

 

I've gotten really lucky with Abilities. TMD the Azumarill has Huge Power, and of course, Thaum the Dragonair has Marvel Scale. I can't ask for better, tbh.

 

Confined to mobile posting for this update. Sigh.

My team and I head to Slateport with hopes of new team additions and when we get there I carefully avoid every trainer in the beach and make a mad dash to the Route north of town. I dive headfirst into the tall grass and a sexy little Voltorb appears.

Lemme just say this. I love Electrode. The ridiculous speed, cocky grin... Dude's a baller. Lol. I made a funny.

Anyway in my enthusiasm I OHKO it and my heart sinks. I debate going for the route left of the puzzle house before remembering it's the other end of 103 where I caught Oment the Wingull and thus, not viable.

From Hell's heart Nosepass stabs at me.

Whatever I'll just focus on the gloriously unbalanced team I have for now.

I return to Slateport, clean up the beach and the cafe, deliver the Devon parts, mop up team Aqua in the museum and jaunt off. By the time I arrive in Mauville (After leaving an embarrassed and clearly horny May in my wake) my team consists of two Linoone, a Kirlia, a Kadabra and a Loudred.

I had horrid visions of Watson stomping me.

I move to the Route between Mauville and Verdanturf hoping for a Roselia. A Volbeat pops up and I sigh in disappointment before carefully balling it and naming it... Thaumologist.

I grind until it's almost on par with my main team and by then I've developed a strategy.

I'll use Thaumologist's confuse ray to confuse Watson's Pokemon and switch to Drome the Loudred who has rock smash and screech.

I get to the gym and before I battle Watson I remember my mistake. His Pokemon fucking love Volt Switch. I deleted Howl for Rock Smash and kept Screech to take down his defended but in reality I should have kept Howl.

Oh well, fuck it.

I challenge Watson with fear in my heart.

Strategy went right out the window as Vira OHKO'd Magnemite and Voltorb with one psybeam.

I hesitantly kept my little Kadabra in for the Magneton fight. I used psybeam and took half its health, if tried to Volt Switch but I just ate a chunk of damage and psybeamed again, knocking it out.

That was... Really fucking easy.

Surprised at not losing anyone I skip away North and again, fail to lose anyone in the Winstrate house.

For such a strange team combo I'm doing pretty well. Things get better on the way to Mt. chimney when I run into one of my favourite Pokemon ever. I never actually expected to get it but had smiled on me and I caught a little Numel I named Aekiel.

Fuck yes.

Okay so no drama at all in this update but fuck you guys, I'm happy without having to attend a funeral. D:


Current Team.
Aekiel the Numel lvl 16 M
-Tackle, Flame burst, Focus energy, Magnitude.

Drome the Loudred - lvl 28 F
- Bite, Stomp, Screech, Rock Smash

Ollie King the Zigzagoon - lvl 26 M
- Charm, echoed voice, headbutt, sand attack

Tarsal the Kirlia -lvl 30 M
- Psychic, Disarming Voice, Calm Mind, Magical Leaf

Thaumologist the Volbeat - lvl 20 M
- Struggle Bug, Double Team, Confuse Ray, Quick Attack

Vira the Kadabra - lvl 29 F
-Psycho cut, Reflect, Disable, Psybeam


In Daycare

LT2000 the Zigzagoon


In Hades
Lord Raven the Taillow
Oment the Wingull
Poytin the Beautifly

 

I've got some free time finally this summer, so before Sun/Moon comes out it's time for me to complete my Pokemon journey. I've played every single pokemon gen (and nuzlocke'd several), with the weird exception of DPP. I think it's something to do with not having a DS when it first came out or something. Anyways, I heard Platinum was a decent game so lets get this show on the road.

This will be a BLIND NUZLOCKE. I haven't played any games of this gen before, nor have I read any walkthroughs/guides or watched any playthroughs.
_______________________________

The RULES:

1. Any Pokémon that faints is considered dead, and must be put in the Pokémon Storage System permanently.
2. The player may only catch the first Pokémon encountered in each area, and none else.
3. If the first Pokémon encountered faints or flees, there are no second chances.
4. If the first encounter in the area is a Double Battle in dark grass, the player may choose which of the two Pokémon they would like to catch.
5. This rule applies only after the player gets pokeballs obviously.
6. Forced encounters like Snorlax in Kanto don't count, and those pokemon must be wonder traded if they are the first in the route, or killed if they are not.
7. Players must also nickname all of their Pokémon, for the sake of forming stronger emotional bonds.
8. A black out/white out is considered to be "game over", even if there are Pokémon left in the PC.
9. Battle style will be locked on 'set'.
10. No legendaries may be used.

_______________________________

We kick things off with the default Professor intro. He offers advice, we tell him to fuck off because we're a pokemon master in like every other region. Remind him we're called TMD, and drop some quality banter by telling him our friend is named Wanker. Silly old man buys it.

We wake up at home, do the usual bullshit with mum and she tells me to go see my friend Wanker. Don't think she likes him very much. The guy in question has a brilliant idea of running into the tall grass without any pokemon, and i'm only too happy to sit back and watch the festivities. Unfortunately for me, the geezer from before stops him before a wild rattata can tear his balls off.

The geezer in his eternal wisdom decides it'll be a good idea to just give away some rare pokemon to Captain Suicidal and his handler; whatever, i'm not complaining. I take the briefcase off the girl who randomly appeared and check it out...Between the fungus infected turtle, the monkey version of Charmander and a baby penguin, i'm not too impressed. Still, the choice is fairly easy for me this time.

Welcome to the Party, Oment the Chimchar! True to his name, Wanker picks the counter and forces a battle as soon as Geezer and that random hoe leave. Again true to his name, he insists on spamming Growl the entire fight just to delay the inevitable but my fire monkey eventually smacks up his shite penguin. Seemingly upset at his loss, Wanker heads home to do what he does best.

I get up early the next day so I can hopefully get out of this hicktown prison before anyone recognises me, but it's in vain as Wanker is waiting for me and insists on dragging me to the lakefront. We see some creepy dude pissing in the lake talking about legendary pokemon and he does a runner when he spots us. Wanker runs off to find some privacy, so I continue along to the next town. I run into some birds and some ugly-ass beavers on the way which Oment swiftly deals with. He also figures out how to burn shit too with ember, and that makes killing things easier.

We arrive in Sandgem town, meet Prof. Geezer and he gives us more cool shit. Dawn still doesn't realise that we're the Champion of every other region and tries to teach us about pokemon centres and pokemarts, so we play along just to be nice. We head home briefly to tell mum we're running away, she seems cool with it. Our mate's mum bursts in halfway through exclaiming "is my little Wanker here?", and i'm reminded why I enjoyed these games so much as a kid.

Back onto route 201, and it's time to catch our first pokemon! Please don't let it be the ugly fucking beaver!

Thankfully we get lucky and it's a Starly. I tell Oment to give it burn one of it's wings off to soften it up...and he takes the command a little too seriously. The ember OHKOs the bird. Um. Fuck.

Ok new plan, run to Lake Verity, since that counts as a new area. We run into the grass and encounter the ugliest level 2 Bidoof ever. Oment (sharing my disgust) kills it. Hopefully there'll be something better later on, for now we're sticking with the day 1 team. Moving on, we kill some more ugly things and Oment learns Taunt. Dawn STILL hasn't googled us, and tries to teach us how to catch pokemon. We smile and nod, and our patience is rewarded with 5 pokeballs.

Our first encounter for route 202 is another fucking Bidoof, which immediately joins the line of dead beavers stretching back into the horizon. After crushing some scrub trainers, we head into the next town and meet a shady cop, then get dragged to school by Dawn. We muck around in class and I give Wanker the box of Kleenex his mum sent for him. He pays me for my services with a town map.

Deciding to explore town for a little while, we get involved with some marketing campaign to collect coupons and get a poketech in exchange. We also nab an Old Rod from a fisherman in a terminal building to the west, which gives us some options in what to catch finally. Pretty much done in Jubilife City, there are 3 routes available to us now. It's time to finally make some additions to the team.

_______________________________

Current Team

Oment the Chimchar - Level 11, M
Scratch, Leer, Ember, Taunt

 

Yo, TMD. I'll enjoy reading about your run but friendly advice. Take a Beaver. Srsly. Not only are they actually decent when they evolve when it outgrows your regular use it becomes the best HM slave aside from Mew.

Yeah this is a blind run so i'm not gonna tell you much but... You're gonna need HMs bro. Gen 4 is HM land.

 

My dramatic first attempt at Nuzlocke running has shown me that I am not ready for a randomized try yet, so Ima stick to the regular game for my second try. I've never actually played White 2 yet anyways, so here goes.

I'll stick to standard rules, so fainting is dead, only the first pokemon in each area is catchable, nicknames all 'round (Observant me has noticed a trend in naming here, so I'll stick to that as well). In addition, I'll roll sum dice for my starter and figure out the wondertrade thing as I go.

Once I've gone through all the tedious talking once again, the dice decide that Oshawott shall travel with me on my epic journey. I name her Sera because I just finished reading The Indigo Road and Sera is a pretty girly name when you think about it.

I beat my rival without any trouble this time. I get lead around by the hand for a while longer and then it's finally time to get this show on the road.

And the first pokemon I come across is... a lvl 2 Purrloin!!! Yay. He actually escapes the first ball I throw at him, but my second ball hits him right between the eyes and he stays down. I name him Thaum, cos happy birthday to you Thaum

And on that happy note, sorry Thaum but you died. You managed to get to lvl 3 before I went back to the pokecentre. Once healed up I figured you could take on a lvl 4 Patrat, but I was sadly mistaken. You scratched him twice while he just leered at you, after which he killed you in a single crit. I'm so very sorry.

I move through Floccesy Town following Alder and step onto route 20. My second chance has come. I run five circles through the grass after I beat some trainers but nothing is showing up. I run some more. Finally! It's only a lvl 2 pidove, but something is better than nothing, I always say. I catch her and name her Vira, just 'cos.

Floccesy Ranch, here I am. Now give my Riolu plz. I'll accept a Mareep as well. Walking, walking, nope, Azurill. It could have been worse, but I have Oshawott so I dont really need a water-type right now. I catch her anyway and name her Tide, because water.

I intend to move towards an item I see lieing in the distance, but then my rival shows up. I panic for a second thinking I'm not prepared for this, but he only has a lvl 8 Snivy and Vira is lvl 7 at this point. I need to use some potions, but Vira wipes the ground with Snivy and I'm safe once more.

I now have to go hunt a Herdier that's run off. I run around the ranch a bit and it has to be said, I'm gettin a shitload of value from Vira's Big Pecks what with everyone and all their friends using leer. Well waddayoknow, turns out the Herdier hadn't run off but instead had been pokenapt by a guy from team Plasma. I Lol'd when he threw the TM Frustation in my face, and the day is saved.

Alder makes me beat up some kids when I return to Floccesy (That's my story and I'm sticking to it) and I'm on my way to my first gym badge. I feel like I may be overleveling my pokemon at this point, but it's not like I'm trying to. Vira and Sera just lvl so fast!

Suffice it to say that I wasn't overleveled. Sera disposed of Patrat no problem but a crit from Cheren's lillipup got Sera sufficiently low that I figured I'd switch to Vira. Not a smart move, Vira took more than half her HP from a single move so I switch Tide in to buy time and use a potion on Sera. That worked. Minor issue, Tide was only lvl 5 and died pulling off this maneuvre. Totally worth it though. I have a Basic Badge

I'll probably update in a couple hours, really getting into it now. In the meantime, enjoy the read and here's my list of casualties.

Current Team

Sera the Oshawott, L14

Vira the Pidove, L11


My bad guys

Thaum the Purrloin, L3. Someone had to be the first, sorry it was you.

Tide the Azurill, L5. This Basic Badge is for you.

 

Part 2

We kick things off by heading west to Route 218, which prevents us from going further than the bridge unless you have surf. But we're not worried, because we came for a different reason! After spending a while figuring out how lures and such works, we get a bite on our Old Rod and a few minutes later welcome Palindrome the Magikarp to the party!

Eager to continue at a high pace, we head back to the pokemon centre to heal up and instantly dive headfirst into the grass north in Route 204, hoping for a grass or bug type (and not another fucking Bidoof). Surprisingly, we encounter a dog like thing with a spark on it's tail. A scratch from Oment later and we welcome Vira the Shinx to the party! At level 6 and 4 respectively, our two new teammates aren't exactly in a position to help Oment out, so we head down to route 202 for a spot of beaver murder. I mean..."training".

Back onto 204 going northbound, we crush a few more scrubs and come across a cave called The Ravaged Path - sounds ominous. Going inside, it looks like the path is blocked by smashable rocks, so presumably we'll be back here in the near future. In the meanwhile though, we look for a pokemon to catch. I'll admit, I was hoping for something cool and sturdy like a Geodude or Onix but I wasn't too disappointed to encounter a Zubat. A bit of fumbling in the dark, and pleasant surprise to see that it knows supersonic and we welcome Fontisian the Zubat to the squad!

A lengthy timeskip later, the team is looking pretty powerful in their own right. Moveset wise, all apart from Palindrome (for now) can hold their own. We're still unsure what type the first gym will be, but undoubtedly we can figure it out when we get to the next town. For now, we head east on Route 203 and are immediately accosted by Wanker who wants to have another go at us. He opens with a Level 7 Starly. Tut tut, how disappointing. Vira, now knowing Spark at level 12, OHKOs his jumped up pidgeon. When he sends out his water type penguin, the result isn't much different. We head on to the tall grass for our first encounter of the route, and lo and behold it's a Bidoof.

It dies.

A few trainers try to be brave and challenge us, and Oment crits at a surprisingly high rate to send them back into the dirt. After the third one, he hits level 14 and suddenly, a bright flash of white erupts out. Our little old Chimchar evolves into a Monferno! And better yet, he gets rid of the trash Leer and replaces it with Mach Punch.

Things are really swimmingly along without a problem in sight, which in my nuzlocke experience is exactly when bullshit strikes. Bullshit in this instance turned out to be of the annoying kid, when I stepped into the grass to grab an item only to encounter a wild Abra. Cursing my luck after endless Bidoofs, I sadly burn it to cinders as we're still on Route 203. Not that i'm unhappy with my current team...but come on, who doesn't love the Alakazam line?

Fortunately, I see a cave ahead, a perfect chance to get something good for our 5th member. I run around for a good few minutes in between destroying trainers, and I'm starting to think this cave only has Zubats when (as if heaven sent) a Geodude reveals itself to me, clearly wanting to join my sick team. A few leech life from Fontisian later and - really running out of female names now - Iron Rose the Geodude joins our motley crew.

We wander about Oreburgh city briefly, before heading down to the mine to find the Gym leader and tell him to get back to work so we can take a badge off him. The mine counts as a new area, but despite walking around for a while all we found were Zubats and Geodudes so no new pokemon unfortunately. While in town, we get a Heal Ball off some fat dude who was desperate to see my Geodude (and no, that's not a metaphor). In the same house some girl offers to trade an Abra for a Machop but sadly Nuzlocke rules prevent me from going back to the place I ran into one last time and catching it. I decide to explore Route 207 to the north before going to the gym, and it turns out it's just one patch of grass and the rest blocked off by a slippery path that requires a grass.

Initially I walk off, thinking that i'd rather get my Route 207 pokemon on the other side but after consulting the Town Map, it seems like quite a small route so I decide to roll the dice and get my encounter. A couple of geodudes try to join us, but we've already got one so they die quickly...until...

Boom.

Machop.

It takes quite a few pokeballs to catch him, because I wasn't willing to risk a crit kill under any circumstances, but soon Taure the Machop joins the party! From the looks of it, the gym here is a rock type and so my plan is for Oment to Mach Punch the shit out of everything, but having Taure for low kick would be a handy backup and means the rest of the team can just chill. Sorry little girl with the Abra, you'll have to wait a little while longer.

We spend a little time training on Route 207 just to reduce the chances of any first-gym fuckery. Honestly, for a Nuzlocke, i'm really pleased with the team I have so far. Some extra type coverage wouldn't go amiss, but evolutions will make a big difference to this team so it's mostly a case of keeping everyone alive.

Onto the gym, and Oment straps on his boxing gloves. The two plebs on the way to the leader just have Geodudes and an Onix, which get wreced by Mach Punches. Onto the Roark...and he turns out to be trash. 2 Mach punches deal with his geodude, another 2 deal with his Onix and he sends out a Cranidos last. Knuckles unphased, Oment gives him the one-two and he goes down to win us the first badge of Sinnoh.

Slightly bemused, we head off to see a kid about an Abra.

___________________

Current Team

Oment the Monferno - Level 18, M
Scratch, Mach Punch, Ember, Fury Swipes

Vira the Shinx - Level 13, F
Tackle, Leer, Charge, Spark

Iron Rose the Geodude - Level 12, F
Tackle, Defense Curl, Rock Smash, Rock Throw

Palindrome the Magikarp - Level 10, F
Splash, Empty, Empty, Empty

Fontisian the Zubat - Level 13, F
Leech Life, Supersonic, Astonish, Bite

Taure the Machop - Level 14, M
Low Kick, Leer, Focus Energy, Karate Chop

The Shadow Realm

A thousand Bidoofs
___________________

Shit bro, I wish I saw this earlier - I didn't even know they evolved! Hopefully another decent HM slave comes up soon, if not i'll have to manage with what i've got. I plan to teach Gyarados Surf, and Golbat Fly. Geodude will probably take Strength, and we'll work out the rest as we get there.

 

The Beginning

Did you miss a few evolutions in your post (Linoone, Gardevoir) or did you plan to keep them unevolved, Seratin?
________________________________________

A random Nuzlocke. The rules are a few posts up (see here), and so it’s on with the show, er, textboxes. Thank arceus I’m playing this on an emulator, allowing me to uncheck ‘limit framerate’. It’s a bit faster that way. After being fined into Chapter 7 bankruptcy, I am offered the choice of these three Pokémon.

Marshtomp the Turtwig, Snubbull the Chimchar, Octillery the Piplup.

Now, personal preference says I want something I haven’t played recently, and Swampert was MVP of my previous Nuzlocke, so he’s out. Snubbull isn’t terrible – Granbull hits suprisingly hard – but I’m going to go for a Pokémon I’ve only played with rarely because it shows up in the weirdest of places. Please welcome Minion the Octillery. Relaxed nature is pretty useful for Octillery, speed is shit anyway.

The fact that Octillery have amazing coverage might also have been a factor. Shit gets crazy fast, yo.

Unfortunately, Suction Cups, but at least I won’t get Roared away. That’s got to count for something, right?

More frame-skipping through dialogue – and one save state because I missed the nickname dialogue – later, I head out into Route 201, 10 Pokéballs and one Premier Ball in hand. Let’s see what’s behind door number 1…

Okay, this is acceptable. Lots of Constricting happens, and eventually Republic the Larvitar joins the party. Level 2, needs tons of babying, but I’m not going to pass up on this. On the other hand, I don’t need a stinking Oddish. Sod off, you weed.

Dawn’s capture tutorial involves a Cresselia. Okay. No, that doesn’t count for the Legendary Counter. I get five more Pokéballs, bringing my total up to 15. Knowing my luck, I’ll be out of them by the first time through Mt. Coronet, if not sooner.

Right, so, trainers. Normally, the first trainer has a level 5 Starly, which is nothing your starter can’t handle. This youngster has a level 5 Nidoqueen, who does me the kind favour of fucking poisoning Minion on the switch in. -1 Antidote already. The grass near this trainer gives me my Pokémon for the route, but Republic crits as I try to get it to deep red, after using some earlier Pokéballs as well. Bummer, but no Bastiodon for me.

I really could have used that fucking Bastiodon, too. Second trainer, I kid you not, has a Giratina.



Crit hax are included, and Republic dies without getting an attack off. Oops. Minion takes revenge with a couple of Aurora Beams, but this is probably the earliest death I’ve ever gotten in any Nuzlocke. Bad (Dragons)breath kills, people.

Told you shit gets crazy fast.

Several breadcrumb quests later, I decide to catch two more Pokémon before I head out east. Barry is waiting there, and if I’m not mistaken, he’s going to challenge me. I pick up Vira the Seaking in the grass on route 204 after far too many Pokéballs, grab myself an Old Rod in a gatehouse, and go fishing.

That isn't the music I was expecting...

Apparently, the route 218 waters are Darkrai-infested. Good to know if I need to powerlevel something, but not helpful for catching. Something something 3 catch rate. One dead Darkrai later, I return to the school, beat up a Yanma and a Happiny, and save. I’ve seen enough Legendaries for one day.

Party:
Minion the Octillery. L10, M. Water Gun, Constrict, Psybeam, Aurora Beam.
Vira the Seaking, L7, F. Peck, Water Sport, Supersonic, Tail Whip.

Put On Ice:
Republic the Larvitar, L5, M. Have a mint, Giratina, please.

Legendaries encountered: 2 (2 total)

 

Part 2

I've made my way to Virbank and nothing really happened becos it was just route 20, where I'd already caught Vira. I did have my first double battles and got some great balls, but that's it.

Once in Virbank I run around for free stuff, but there's not much outside of this mysterious 'Complex' everyone's been talking about all game. I decide to go see what all the hype is about.

I'm careful about stepping into grass outside because I know there's also an 'inside' from talking to some random guy in town, and past experience has tought me that inside usually means fire/electric/fighting pokemon and I could really use some of those. Inside turns out to be some kind of powerplant. The supervisor asks me if I would like to do his job for him by making sure his employees actually do stuff. Oh what the hell, I'm here anyway and maybe there'll be something in it for me.

I take a single step and I'm immediately assaulted by a Magnemite. Not bad, not bad, I'll take it thank you very much. I'm so focused on making sure I don't accidentally crit him to death and throwing balls at him, I almost forget Sera is a water-type and electricity tends to hurt them pretty bad. Sera is at half health when Magnemite switches from supersonic and tackle to thundershock. Oh god, oh god, oh god. YESSSS, Sera survives with 4hp. No probz, I wasn't worried. I use a super potion and continue throwing balls. Poor Magnemite never stood a chance really. I name it TMD, because I reckon that's a suitable name for an it.

It is at this point that I ponder the question of whether 'inside' and 'outside' Complex are seperate zones. I decide no, wouldn't want to make it easy on myself of course.

I track down the idle workers and beat them into submission, training TMD as I go. Once I've beaten them all, Sera evolves and I allow myself a smug smile. This second gym is going down. Also, there was indeed a reward for doing the foreman's job. He gave me Rock Smash. Big whoop.

I move over to Roxie's dump/gym and give TMD free reign to beat the shit outta some koffings. Vira comes in when various bugs are sent out to slaughter and Sera finishes off Roxie's Whirlipeed. Second badge? Check.

I get invited over to the local filmstudio because my awesomeness has been recognized. I get the VIP tour while bossman himself goes to prepare himself for a momentous meeting (with me). The management ropes me into being in one of their films. My scene was solid in a single take. Although I'm obviously a natural at this, I decide to bounce because I just enjoy being a trainer more than I do acting.

I make my way over to the ship that's supposed to take me away to my next adventure but what do I find? Some guys from Team Plasma squaring off with Roxie and my rival. We remove the obstacles, but instead of hopping on the boat and sailing off into the sunset, Roxie and Rivalboy insist that I help chase the Plasmapeople. Whyyyy? Fine fine, I'll help, but this better be quick.

Roxie gave me Cut before she gave chase, but Sera is the only pokemon I have that can actually use it. Damn it, there better be someone who can help her forget it somewhere!
I teach Sera how to cut down puny trees and move over to the only cuttable tree I remember coming across so far.

A super potion. A fucking super potion? Are you kidding me? I scarred Sera for life by teaching her Cut and I get a super potion for it? Ah well, now if she dies somewhere along my run, I'll only be throwing away 3 good move slots.

I run over to route 20 and find a Plasmaperson pretty fast. I beat her and my rival comes over to tell me we should check out the docks we just came from. For fucks sake.


Current team

Sera the Dewott, L17

Vira the Pidove, L16

TMD the Magnemite, L16


My bad guys

Thaum & Tide

 

Part 3

Taure, thanks for coming to us when we needed you. Sorry we couldn't be together longer, but for the good of the team it's goodbye. Stuffing him back into his ball, I barely contain my excitement as we welcome Seratin the Abra to the party! Seratin only knows teleport for now, so a quick bit of grinding on Route 207 and poof, Abra becomes Kadabra and learns confusion. Our team is looking very promising, and i'd even wager that the fully evolved versions of Oment, Iron Rose, Palindrome and Seratin could take down the E4 as long as they survive that long.

Heading back through Route 203, we arrive in the big city and run into Prof Rowan, Dawn and some Team Galactic scrubs who end up in a double battle with Dawn and I. Naturally, they send out 2 pokemon that i've never seen before, and uncertainty in a nuzlocke worries me. Fortunately, Mach Punch always goes first so Oment makes short work of them. Dawn still hasn't evolved her shitty fungus turtle, ending all hope of having a competent rival in this game.

Immediately after the fight i'm accosted by a fat man in suspenders who wants me to dress up my pokemon and endulge in all manner of (in the words of Lamora) pokefaggotry. We move him along and north we go, smashing some rocks on our way. Our arrival in Floaroma town is delayed only briefly by low level trainers who smell like a mixture of roses and horse shit.

We pass through quickly, and out the other side some kid instantly starts whining about her dad being captured by the Galactic Goons over at the Valley Windworks. Sigh. I guess it's a good opportunity for some levels, so we head over and crush the grunt by the door who then locks himself in out of spite. The grass outside counts as a seperate location, and we catch a level 9 Pachirisu named Thaum who we send over to the PC, since Vira will be our main electric type for now (purely based off pokemon coolness and not stats or anything serious).

Heading back quickly to Manure & Roses Town we dispatch two more Galactoscrubs, grab the spare key off them and make our way back to the Windworks. Given that they mostly have Zubats and trash tier pokemon, you can imagine what happens next. We go from room to room, owning fools as fast as we can. We discover an issue however. Our new friend Seratin seems to have a bit of an ego issue and frequently ignores orders, being a level 19 Kadabra. The next gym badge needs to be gotten ASAP, as this ill-discipline bullshit won't stand for long.

We make our way to the Galactic Admin, and his pokemon are whack. During the process of crushing them, Oment gets poisoned and I nearly shit myself because I used my only antidote on Seratin earlier in the building...thankfully I have a berry in my bag which I picked up on the way, and he's cured.

Onwards and upwards through Route 205 and we run into a bunch of trainers, who pose no issue except one annoying fucking Apom which spammed sand attack and astonish and made me switch twice because all my attacks kept missing. Seratin keeps ignoring orders still, and it's starting to get frustrating to not be able to psychically obliterate things.

Moving swiftly on through our journey, we head into the Eterna Forest and pick up some groupie loser who can't get through by herself. At least she offers to heal us, so carrying her 3rd percentile Chancey isn't that bad. I speedrun her through, and while im rooting about in the dinge, we welcome Newcomb the Budew to our team! I'm not much of a fan of the Roselia line, and if it's not bulky like Venasaur I avoid grass types because of the prevalance of high power fire and flying moves, so into the box he goes.

For a while now, we've been starting battles with Palindrome before switching out for some exp sharing, and it's paid off. Looking completely out of place in a massive forest, Palindrome the Gyarados appears and intimidates the hell out of everything within a 3 mile radius.

We arrive in Eterna City and after a quick healing stop, we go check out the gym to see what kind of preparation is needed. It turns out to be a pure grass gym - so Oment will basically be spamming flame wheel till we get the badge. That means we can head back into the forest and even out some of the team's levels. Our exploration heavy playstyle comes in useful too, because we get the EXP share meaning that we'll save some time during the upcoming training montage.

For now though, let's go stomp on some bugs.

________________

Current Team

Oment the Monferno - Level 25, M
Scratch, Mach Punch, Flame Wheel, Fury Swipes

Vira the Shinx - Level 14, F
Tackle, Leer, Charge, Spark

Iron Rose the Geodude - Level 20, F
Rollout, Magnitude, Rock Smash, Rock Throw

Palindrome the Gyarados - Level 21, F
Splash, Tackle, Bite, Empty

Fontisian the Zubat - Level 16, F
Leech Life, Supersonic, Astonish, Bite

Seratin the Kadabra - Level 19, M
Teleport, Confusion, Empty, Empty

In the PC

Thaum the Pachirisu
Newcomb the Budew

Gone to a better place

Taure the Machop - Status Unknown

 

Jublife - Oreburgh

After last time’s shenanigans with the RNG, I make sure to sacrifice two Gogoat and make a ritual necklace out of their intestines before leaving the Pokémon Center. The screams of terror as someone discovers the eviscerated corpses are music to my ears. Why can’t all days be like this…

Apparently, this is now a Monotype run. Barry sends out a Crawdaunt to go along with his Marshtomp. Between Supersonic and AI derping, I take 0 damage the entire fight, so straight into the grass on route 203 it is. Will it be another Water-type, or another Legendary, or will it be some crap-tier Pokémon I don’t even want?

It’s none of those, and after a short deliberation, I decide to catch this one. Please welcome Zenzao the Xatu. Now to fight the trainers, but not before running into a Tentacruel in the grass as well. There are also Octillery on this route, so I apparently did end up dodging a Monotype run.

For added randomness fun: The first trainer has a Togepi with Metronome. We must go deeper into this den of RNG. Zenzao ends up eating a Frenzy Plant off of that. Yes, Frenzy Plant.

This run is trying to kill me. Note to self, sacrifice seven Gogoat next time.

To wax philosophical for a moment, randomising Pokémon has advantages and disadvantages. The main advantage of is that your Pokémon tend to grow a lot faster than in a regular game, on average. The odds of getting the same shitty xp Pokémon are decently low, after all: even a mid-tier Pokémon is just plain better than endless hordes of Kricketot and the like, with not a lot of added difficulty. It takes no time at all to get everyone to at least level 10 with only a bare minimum of grinding in the grass, and even so, Xatu and Tentacruel are good experience. Zenzao picking up Teleport at level 9 even makes the threat of poisoning no issue – just Teleport back after the battle.

The downside, of course, is that you might encounter really annoying Pokémon really early on. Looking at you, Double Team spamming Gardevoir…It also turns the Breeders and other high-Pokémon trainer into somewhat of a roulette. Take, for example, Lass Kaitlin on Route 203, with the following level 4 team: Groudon, Lairon, Mewtwo, Spinda. Zenzao luckily no-sells both, and the level differential is huge for now, but you simply can’t fall behind on training in a randomised run.

Nothing I have can learn Rock Smash, although I’m not beyond digging up Republic if really need be. The capture in Oreburgh Gate isn’t helping, because 1. it’s a Zubat, and 2. in a stroke of glorious meta-irony, Vira one-shot crits with Peck. Note to self: use Zenzao, who has Night Shade. Then again, Crobat are some of my favourite Pokémon.

Also, one of the trainers here has a Mew. Fun fact: Mew suck for experience, giving 96 at level 7. Trained. This is roughly on par with a regular unevolved starter if I’m not mistaken.

Seratin the Hariyama makes sure I can smash rocks legit, especially after I stuff him in the box so he doesn’t die. I also catch Zeelthor the Glalie, though I’m unsure if he’ll make it to my team… I already have Ice-type coverage on Minion. He’ll stay in for now, if only to give me someone who isn’t weak to Electric. He’s also holding a Babiri Berry, which is nice enough I suppose.

After a short training buffet on a diet of Hariyama, Jumpluff, Probopass – I would have loved that one –, and Noctowl over on route 207, I walk over to the Oreburgh Gym. During that time, Zenzao learned Nuzlocke’s best friend move, aka Lucky Chant. (Okay, it’s still a shit move, but rather more useful in a Nuzlocke.) The rest of the team is adequately leveled for now. If I recall, Roark has a level 14 ace, but I’m confident my coverage has it, well, covered.

Party:
Minion the Octillery, L12, M. Water Gun, Constrict, Psybeam, Aurora Beam.
Vira the Seaking, L12, F. Peck, Horn Attack, Supersonic, Tail Whip.
Zenzao the Xatu, L12, M. Peck, Lucky Chant, Night Shade, Teleport.
Seratin the Hariyama, L6, M. Tackle, Focus Energy, Sand Attack, Arm Thrust.*
Zeelthor the Glalie, L12, M. Powder Snow, Leer, Double Team, Bite.

Dancing with the dodo:
Republic the Larvitar, L5, M. Have a mint, Giratina, please.

Legendaries encountered: 3 (5 total)

*Not in actual party for safety's sake. Will join after Roark.

Also, yes, for those keeping count, I've encountered 4 legendaries [Darkrai doesn't count] on 13 trainers with maybe 25 Pokémon between them. (First Barry fight not included.)

 

Last time we left off, I had captured my new beloved fire-type, Octopus the Vulpix. His inclusion in my team is inevitable, but that begs the question: who do I box?

It’s not a hard choice. With Van the Absol knowing Psycho Cut and Octopus soon learning his own psychic-move, I have little use for Oment the Lunatone. However, his record of good service should be held as a testament on how team members should behave themselves. Let’s hope Octopus learns from his good example.

Now that I had Octopus, one more thing needed to be taken care of. Monkey the Gloom learned Giga Drain last update and could now be evolved. But I don’t have a Leaf Stone or know where to find one.

Google, help me!

Leaf Stones are apparently in two routes. The route before Fortree, in the river somewhere, and the route below Mt. Pyre that I had been before. After searching the former route, however, I couldn’t find a Leaf Stone. It's not that surprising when you considered all the unpassable Waterfalls. Therefore, the Mt. Pyre route is my only choice.

Let my quest for a Leaf Stone begin!

I pass a girl standing by the flowers and give her a wide berth. I’m on a mission, I don’t have time for trainers. Unfortunately, this route is filled with ledges, making me Fly back to Mt. Pyre constantly to try again. Bushes are also numerous, and I reluctantly teach Cut to Font the Skarmory, making sure not to touch Secret Power. If Font learns a super good move in the future, I’ll have something I can delete.

For the next twenty minutes, my team and I explore the entire route. Every time an item taunts me from beyond a ledge, I Fly back to grab it. While I have no time for trainers, they have time for me, but I kick everyone’s ass. My team isn’t like before, we’re powerful. But the Leaf Stone is like a dream; I pick up every item in vain and soon, I stand there, confused. Where’s my Leaf Stone? Since I’m playing at a restaurant, I can’t look it up to confirm I’m on the right route, but I’m pretty sure this is the right one.

Where is…

Oh no.

Please god no.

That girl next to the flowers I’ve been passing every time- please don’t tell me she has the Leaf Stone. Please don’t tell me I’ve searched this route for nothing. I fly back to Mt. Pyre and approach the girl.

“Do you like grass Pokemon?” she asks.

Ughhhhhhhh.

She pays no mind to my groans and gives me an item. Because it’s in French I can’t read it, but I go to my inventory to evolve Monkey and-

Wait. Hold up.

This is a root. What the fuck.

Where’s my stone?

… It must not be here. I’ve been tricked. GOOGLE WHY

I mean, what am I supposed to do? It’s not like I already have-

…

There is a Leaf Stone in my inventory.

When did this get here. I didn’t pick it up today, I would have remembered-

*AWFUL FANFICTION FLASHBACK*

*END AWFUL FANFICTION FLASHBACK*

You know what, it doesn’t matter. Here, Monkey, have your stupid stone. Yes, you’re a Vileplume now, very nice. Moving on…

These trainers all over the place are looking too happy. Too not-dead. This looks like a job for my team of great Pokemon!

It takes two battles with Octopus out front before I get concerned. Some idiot grass Pokemon used Flatter twice on my Vulpix, raising his special attack twice, but when Octopus used Flame Burst, I couldn’t even do half. I’m only like three levels below, what the heck? But when I check Octopus’ stats, everything becomes clear. 32 Sp. Attack. Font has better special attack than that and she’s a Skarmory. Jesus, Vulpixs suck. But I can’t evolve him until he learns Flamethrower, which will be level 36.

Well, I guess my team will be on babysitting detail for a while.

But once I get into the groove, my Pokemon level like crazy. So many trainers, so many experience points. After killing everyone, I turn my sights to Mt. Pyre and halfway up, Octopus learns Flamethrower. Finally. Then it’s just a quick Fly to Fiery Path, and a Fire Stone is in my grasp. Octopus evolves and his special attack grows to 60+. Excellent.

Not sure how happy Octopus is, though. His tails are bigger than his body, it must take tons of steroids to drag those things around.

I defeat the rest of the trainers at Mt. Pyre and when Archie fucks off with the Blue Orb, the elderly couple give me the Red Orb. They say something about getting the Blue Orb back, but I’m too busy admiring my new red shiny thing. Do you think it’d be too flashy if I wore this as a necklace?

Ah, the joys of victory. Nothing can go wrong now.

An aside:

I caught Palindrome the Psyduck in the Safari Zone. I think I did something wrong though, because when I went in, the attendants let me through without giving me special balls. I hope I won’t get in trouble or anything. If I got arrested, the police might start digging in that missing Lava Ridge gym trainer case. I can’t Nuzlocke from jail, that'd be terrible.

Also, the number of my living Pokemon almost equals my dead Pokemon! Progress~

Current Team.
Font the Skarmory. L38, F. Steel Wing, Fly, Secret Power, Cut.
Thaumologist the Dragonair. L38, M. Thunder Wave, Dragon Rush, Dragon Dance, Extreme Speed.
Monkey the Vileplume. L38, M. Toxic, Stun Spore, Moonlight, Giga Drain.
TMD the Azumarill. L39, M. Surf, Aqua Tail, Play Rough, Rain Dance.
VanRopen the Absol. L37, M. Night Slash, Detect, Mean Look, Psycho Cut.
Octopus the Ninetales. L38, M. Flamethrower, Extrasensory, Hex, Will-O-Wisp.

Boxed.
Kalas the Drifloon. L1, M.
Halt the Clampearl. L25, M.
Lyrium the Caterpie. L2, F.
Oment the Lunatone. L35, M

Rest in Peace.
Kang the Silcoon. L8, M. I suppose some butterflies aren't meant to be.
Seratin the Zubat. L12, M. You tried your best and that's all that matters.
Tinn the Whismur. L18, F. Yeah, my bad.
Shezza the Zigzagoon. L18, M. You did your duty.
Aekiel the Grimer. L17, M. Couldn't you have lasted more than five minutes?
Cheddar the Wingull. L23, F. I'll miss you. Goodbye.
Lutris the Lombre. L26, M. Godpeed, you dancing fool.
Mage the Serviper. L16, M. Ty, bro.
Zenzao the Machop. L27, M. Without you, everything would have ended. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain.
Evan the Voltorb. L25, M. I didn’t understand and that’s my fault. I should have prepared better.
Froggie the Froginder. L29, M. Ughhhhh.
Poytin the Gyarados. L26, M. Eh.