All these pokemon runs have really got me interested in trying a nuzlock of Firered Omega. I’ve never played through this ROM but it looks like a serious challenge. I’m not crazy enough for the randomizers, I want challenging not apocalyptic.

Start

My journey begins by bidding my mother farewell. During the walk to the professors lab I am drawn to the tall grass, but before taking a step into the field Professor Oak shouts at me from behind halting my no doubt fatal advance. I’m dragged to his lab and given the choice between a Magby, Smoochum, and Elekid. The tiny fire and ice babies have nothing to offer me. There are better fire pokemon in my future and the ice/psychic has never fascinated me. Elekid it is, the world will know him as Newcomb.


The two of us strike out on Route 1 and low and behold the first creature to cross our paths is a female Nidoran. Success! I capture her and name her Vira. She will be my ticket past Brock and hopefully survive long enough to clear Lt. Surge as a Nidoqueen.


Big hopes and dreams but I’ve still got a long way to go.


I clear my way through the rest of the route and heal up at Viridians pokecenter, giving Nurse Joy an enthusiastic slap on the ass as I make my exit. I head over toward route 22 in the hopes of finding a mankey when this tiny patch of grass appears on the screen, still in Viridian. This is new… I take a chance and am rewarded with a magnificent Houndour I name Nuhuh.


My steadily growing team and I make it over to route 22 and Nuhuh accidentally crits the Mankey I'd hoped to capture…


Oh well, it’s not a total loss. Vira can still carry me through Brock, easily.


Before the Viridian Forest, route 2 yields a little potential in the form of an adorable Swablu. It is named Cheddar. A Treecko and Torchick are presented to me. Seriously… it’s a sad day, but no more time or energy can be spared for those sad souls given to me. They’re both boxed.


I enter the Viridian Forest and metaphorically burn it down. Nuhuh is a beast that turns every grass, bug, and bird pokemon to cinders. Leaving a cadre of bug trainers cradling the remains of their pokemon and wondering why I had relieved them of their wallets. I can only hope the same fate doesn’t wait for me in Pewter.


Once I exit the forest training commences. A lot of training, enough so that Vira evolves into a Nidorina. Brock is going down.



Vira tears through the measly trainer guarding Brock. Before committing to the last battle in Pewter I double check my inventory to find 5 potions, 5 antidotes, and one paralyze heal.


It’s time. We throw our monsters and Vira is against a Geodude. She double kicks through the slaphappy rock and Brock uses a super potion. The next turn sees to the geodudes demise. An Omanyte is the next victim, Two turns and a tenth of Vira’s health later the shellfish is down. Kabuto is my next opponent and is swiftly finished.


Brock decides to throw out Vulpix, I counter with Nuhuh the Houndour. It’s a shaky back and forth with Vulpix using hypnosis, confuse ray, and substitute. After getting nowhere in 4 turns Vulpix is withdrawn and Onix takes its place.


Hurriedly, before Nuhuh meets an early end, Vira is back out. She takes a swagger and Onix digs next turn. Before Vira is annihilated from below Cheddar the Swablu is out. I keep up this interesting dance of swapping out Vira before she can be hit with dig while Cheddar uses growl at every opportunity.


Eventually the little bird gets hit with dragon breath. Vira takes to the field again and takes the weakened Onix out. Rhyhorn is my next opponent and falls quickly to Vira’s double kick.


And then there was one. Vulpix uses substitute but one kick destroys it and the second ends the wily fox. I leave the gym with only 1 potion and 5 antidotes, I thank Mew for leaving with my entire team. Mt. Moon is next followed by Misty.

Current Team
Newcomb the Elekid
Vira the Nidorina
Nuhuh the Houndour
Cheddar the Swablu​

 

As evening approaches the abandoned, once lush fields of grass east of Vermilion, the green now stands black and charred amidst a river of red equally as brilliant and bloody as the city itself is named after, with mounds of slowly melting white bobbing in the murky ooze just under the surface. Where once nests of wild Dragonair clung together, and Weezing congregated to fume up the Route alongside their ally Grimers, now nature has been restored to its proper order! Ah, the smell of justice. Lt. Surge really should give us a medal for cleaning up these unsightly pests.

With Vira and Aekiel now standing on their own, Seratin and Rehio cruise on through to a few more levels, and even Oment has acquired some fresh moves to ease his slower gains. Rep unfortunately has decided to sulk and oppose the genocide of his people, such an odd-(Psy)duck, that one.

Feeling much more chipper about the whole day we head on back to the docks and catch sight of a familiar and unwelcome yahoo by the name of Blue slipping past the crew. What is that madman up to now? Let's find out!

I flash my newly obtained ticket and board the S.S. Anne, but for the moment Blue has made himself scarce. Suspicious. Nothing for it but to head back into the mulling, mutineering trainers and warm ourselves up for another rematch issued out on our terms this time around.

As the sun begins to set a PA goes out that the Captain is feeling better and the tides are in fine retreat. Unfortunately there is no one else but us and the wise sailors who retreated from Hurricane Red who are conscious to hear the announcement, but at the least we didn't feel the need to kill too many other people... er, I mean, that International Police guy was obviously a foreign spy looking to bring down the Healthcare system, so really I was doing Surge another favor by drowning the old man in his own cabin shower, and uh, those flowery tourists positively reeked of communism.

So, ah, yeah. Conscious cleared! And that odd 'helix fossil' most certainly had nothing to do with it.

With a shrill whistle the S.S. Anne begins to rock and then roll. I crouch down as the ship lists violently and rights itself, and red warning lights begin to flash as the Captain himself comes on to announce that something has caught at the ship and departure may be stalled indefinitely until further notice.

Well. That won't do at all, and I've still yet to find where our elusive rival is hanging out. Three guesses tells me to seek out the man behind the wheel, but the path leading to his quarters has been frozen over. Seratin could Fire Punch his way through the permafrost given enough time, but the way the ship crunches ominously, I have the sinking feeling that it won't be long before this luxury liner becomes the region's most expensive coffin.

We beat feet out onto the open deck as the Anne shivers violently and begins to assume a forty-five degree angle, terribly loud gulping and gurgling noises rising from somewhere in the south, and the answer is the sudden ring of icebergs piercing her hull. Now I'm not one to mock fate too much, but what are the odds that such a catastrophe hits out of the wild Blue yonder at the same time as we're newly returned aboard?

Scrambling up the siding and over creaking glass windows as tall and wide as most homes back in Pallet Town, we make it to a relatively straight deck that has broken away from part of the remainder of the ship. Blue himself awaits with a frozen chicken at his beck and call, surprisingly chill.

There's no time for banter.

Rehio roars into combat and crushes Charmeleon, Geodude, Growlithe, and then in a shocking turn of events, Articuno itself.



Total scrub. All power, no refinement. It might be the real deal one day, but right now this Blue canary is nothing more than shattered feathers on the shaking deck.

Blue stumbles away without a word into what I realize is the Captain's cabin to take shelter as the entire area moans like an Arcanine in heat, lurching and thrashing violently. Sensing the wisdom in his concept we join him, and weather the sinking of the S.S. Anne from all around us... yet the cabin remains buoyant even as it keels up to offer the starlight down upon us all.

The bobbing waves splash in as Blue cowers in the corner and the Captain commends us for staying rather than departing as he (mistakenly assumes) the remainder of the staff and passengers have. Rather than inform him of his error we keep to ourselves and contemplate what to do from here.

The answer comes in the form of a large Fearow carrying a parcel marked from 'Cianwood City'. Cap downs the medicine gratefully and orders us to abandon ship while the ice on the underside of the doors holds. Before we go he presses a strange disk into our hands and makes us take a vow of silence not to share the power of the move within with anyone else.

HM01 GET.

Sure thing, Cap.

Rep gets his first hidden power, the power to cut down all things before his path. In hindsight delivering such a potent technique to a potentially vengeful specimen could prove troublesome down the road, though how exactly he plans to utilize Cut without anything short of his teeth...

With the last rays of the sun bobbing on the horizon like a fiery tribute to the lost souls of this day, I head us on over to Vermilion Gym. The fine Lt. and I have some matters to discuss... if he is in fact himself.

Once we've cut past the tangle of thorns and overgrowth leaching up from around the Gym's small patch of land, a ferocious stench emanates out of the cracked doors. Surely this isn't the source of those Grimers and Weezings who had holed up in the abandoned Route to the east?

...

Of course it is. All that garbage stacked up to the ceiling, sweet Mew-above. A few masked trainers await but their words are garbled by the intoxicating fumes, and I realize that we cannot stay in this dump for long. Rehio and Aekiel obliterate the underlings and 'Surge''s electronic locks are fried by my majestic thunderdragon.

'Surge' talks a good talk, citing many of the references to the War we were all taught about in history class. But his voice lacks the unwavering conviction of a true soldier. His Porygon, Farfetch'd, and Fearow all asphyxiate in no time at all and 'Surge' breaks-down.



Amidst his hysterics and ranting about a well familiar cult by now, something of the truth begins to come out. But exactly what he has to say is silenced suddenly, and a cold, feminine voice uses the fake Gym Leader as her mouthpiece.

"Come to Saffron if you would unravel the mysteries."

How can I say no to an offer like that? 'Surge' ups and chokes on his own tongue we hasten on our way out of this rancid dump. Looks like the only way to proceed is to head back north.

Current Team.

 

I am the best Voltorb. I can bind without limbs. I can fight without hands. I can roll my way through walls like a motherfucking ghost ninja.

Fear me.

 

A quick summary of what has happened since last update.





Master balled Kyogre
Released Kyogre
Stomped all over Wallace
Caught a Lairon I named SteelierBaj

Forgot Battling Wally was a thing

Stomped all over Wally




Annnnd now.

The moment we've all been waiting for. Get ready for the next level in Poketaiiiinment.​

The Pokemon League challenge!​

***​

I'm gonna say it right now.

I'm nervous.

I forgot what stepping out onto this bridge felt like. Everything is howling wind, black clouds and glowing motes of light fluttering down from above.

I've been over leveled so far but I don't think that will save me now.

I'm not sure everyone will survive this, doubly so because I can't be arsed grinding before I go in. This is it. What will be will be. I step forward.

***​

Sidney is sitting across from me in a large empty hall. I hadn't remembered who it would be and hurriedly switch Omentwo to the forefront of my team.

Time to step up and take out this purple faux-hawked bitch.

He sends out Mightyena, I send out Omentwo the Machamp.

Mightyena is lvl 50.
Omentwo is lvl 49.

Omentwo outspeeds it and lands a Cross Chop to its spine, shattering it in one blow.

I can see the surprise and horror in Sidney's face but I've just made him take me seriously.

He sends out a lvl 50 Shiftry.

I order another Cross Chop but the evil forest wizard uses fake out and Omentwo flinches. It flies at my pokemon again, slashing it with Leaf blade butOmentwo survives and hits it with Cross Chop, killing it with one clean blow.

A lvl 52 Absol appears next and I take a turn to heal Omentwo which is when I remember...

I didn't stock up at the mart before the challenge. I hope to have enough to last me and use a Hyper potion.

Absol uses Psycho cut.

Omentwo barely hangs on and there's no way he's outspeeding Absol after using an item.

Fuck that noise.

I switch Cheddar the Gyarados in. At lvl 49 it eats a psycho cut with ease so I mega evolve and OHKO Absol the defiler with Waterfall.

He sends out a lvl 50 Sharpedo. My thinking is, Mega Gyarados is just a better version of Sharpedo so I take a turn to slap a potion on Omentwo, confident I can take whatever it throws at me.

It crits a crunch and I blink, realising I have to get Cheddar out of there. I curse and switch Omentwo back in who eats a Slash and kills it with a Cross Chop.

Sydney's last pokemon is a Cacturn and I switch to Drome who sends it into the red with a flamethrower. Cacturne responds with a needle arm but before I can roast it again, Sidney uses Full Restore.

And again.

I shout for flamethrower again and it uses Spiky shield.

I reason that he must be out of full restores and another spiky shield will fail so I switch to strength and knock it out.

​

"You... you murdered my pokemon... the blood. Oh jesus you monster!" - Sidney 2016​

***​

Despite the battle going well I'm worried.My lack of preparation could have cost me dearly in that fight and it's only going to be tougher from here on.

Dread fills me.

I stepped past Sidney with faux confidence and cross the lavender flowered bridge.

This one I know to be Phoebe, the ghost type trainer so I park Cheddarthe Exploud up front and pray to Hax.

She's... really bubbly and cheery for a ghost type trainer. She's clearly Alolan born and still wears her traditional garb of next to nothing. That suits me. She can flirt and smile all she wants, she's plotting the death of my friends.

I'll see hers dead first.

She sends out a Dusclops, lvl 51.

I send out Cheddar and Mega evolve straight away, ordering a crunch as I go.

It dissolves into ghostly dust.

Dusknoir is next and I know this guy to be a bit more of a wall.

Yep, Stab crunch sends it into the red and I eat a Thunderpunch for my hubris. She'll probably heal so I look to my bag. Yes! X attack. I pop it and sure enough she uses a full restore.

I crunch again and this time Dusknoir is destroyed.

Ched can't do much about the Sableye she sends out so I switch in Tarsal the Gardevoir. Level 56 compared to lvl 51. I fire out a Dazzling Gleam and Sableye is instantly obliterated.

She's worried now and sends out Banette. I respond with Cheddar and the Mega Gyarados OHKOs it.

Her last pokemon is another Banette and the result is the same.

Pictured above: Elite Four Phoebe depicting the last recorded time she ever smiled.​

***​

Two Elite Four members down and nobody dead yet. Dare I hope?

No... not yet. I can't afford the luxury of hope.

I cross the bridge to face what is evidently an Ice type trainer. Drome. You're up.

Her name is Glacia. She looks, regal, elegant, blonde and posh.

Wait a second. She uses Ice types.

Glacia is clearly an alias. I'm really battling Ice Queen!Daphne.

Regardless, her pokemon need to die.

"I came to Hoenn from far away but all I have seen is weak trainers and Pokemon."

Oh come on. You can't write this shit. It's Daphne fucking Greengrass. She sends out Glalie.

Drome's faster and hits it in the face with a flamethrower. It loses about 60% health and responds with Ice shard, taking out about 10% of mine. Another flamethrower and it's dead.

She sends in Frosslass and I respond by switching in Vira the Alakazam. I mega evolve and use psychic.

Overkill, thy name is Vira.

Another Frosslass, another broken hunk of ice. When Walrein comes out I decide to leave Vira to its work and see how it does.

Crit psychic. Dead Walrus.

Damn gurl.

Her last Glalie comes out and Psychic leaves it with %% health. Vira eats a Freeze dry and i anticipate a full restore so I use calm mind.

It uses protect.

I use psychic.

It dies.

​

- "How dare you, Potter!"​

***​

Hope bubbles in my chest. my tea is in good condition... relatively speaking.

I step out onto the next bridge and I see a room filled with lava and a door crowned with the skull of a dragon.

Great.

I switch Steelbadger the Rhydon to the front and head forward.

Drake is out to end my run. That epic mustache almost makes me want to forgive him.



Almost.

Altaria comes out first. I was expecting this and order a stone edge. It does 50% damage and I cringe, still, it shouldn't matter. It hits Steelbadge with a dragon pulse but the beast shrugs it off with about 40% damage and finishes it with another Stone edge. Kingdra's about to switch in and here's the thing. I have no way of effectively dealing with Kingdra.

I send in Omentwo and hope Dual Chop will be enough without stab.

ItsSurf does 40% damage to dual chop's 60% and I order a repeat. Thankfully surf doesn't crit and i get away with it.

Salamence incoming so I switch to Cheddar. We both have intimidate and lower each other's attacks but I mega evolveand launch an ice fang. Just in time too because it hits me with a thunder fang before Cheddar gets ice fang off. Thankfully Mega Gyarados is Water/Dark so it survives, bites Salamence and freezes it solid.

This gives me time ti use a hyper potion on Cheddar who was injured already coming into the battle.

Unfortunately, Salamence breaks free from the ice and dragon rushes me, causing Cheddar to flinch.

Fuuuuuck. Hyper potion.

It gets another two dragon rushes off before Cheddar can take it down with ice fang, barely clinging onto her life.

Flygon is next and I realise I'll have to keep Ched in the battle. Shit.

I open up with a hyper potion. Flygon hits me with... I missed it so I don't know what but about 15% damage. Ice fang sends it into the red as it uses screech to lower my defense.

Drake uses a full restore as I expected and I send it straight back to the red. Is another full restore incoming?

Yep.

Ice fang sends it back to the red. Surely he's out of restores...

He is and the dragon goes down.

He send sout another Flygon.

This time he's shit out of restores and I hit it with two ice fangs while it can only miss a supersonic.

Dragon ain't shit, bro.

​

- Lights a cigar - "Well fuck you, kid. Fuck you."​

***​

Steven awaits.

I prepare as best as I can.

It all comes down to this.


He sends out Skarmory.

I send out Steelbadger.

I order a smack down, it lays out spikes.

I order an EQ, it uses toxic.

Rhydon eats its Pecha berry and cures it, EQ hits and leaves Skarmory in the red.

Steven uses full restore. I EQ again.

He withdraws Skarmory and sends out Claydol.


Fuuuuuuuuuck. I forgot he could switch.

Okay.think this through. Against Rhydon Claydol should use EQ.

I switch to Cheddar. It uses reflect and tanks my waterfall.

It uses Extrasensory. and I tank it and reply with another two waterfalls. It finally dies.

He switches Aggron in and I reply by bringing in Omentwo.

Omentwo is lvl 52, Aggron is 57.

I use cross chop anddo 50% damage. It wipes out 3/4 of my health but I know Omentwo's faster. Another cross chop and it's dead.

He sends Skarmory back out.It crits me with steel wing and my stone edge misses. Shit. I switch for Cheddar to lower its attack. I mega evolve and use waterfall. Omentwo got hit with toxic but takes out Skarmory. I use full restore when it sens out Armaldo.


Biggest derp so far. It uses X-scissor and nearly kills Cheddar.

I switch Drome in and get crit'd by another x-scissor.

This is where shit gets real. The only pokemon I have that can take down Armaldo are in the red while the healthy ones are both weak to it. If I don't want my run to end I have to be in good shape for that Metagross.

I realise what has to be done and harden my heart.


I'm sorry, Drome. I'm so so sorry.

I use hyper potion on Steelbadger.

Time slows and X-scissor lands.

I see Drome turn to me and as the light fades from her eyes she looks confused. She trusted me.

​

- I just wanted to be loved...​

I switch Rhydon in and hit it with an EQ. It does for half its health and a Armaldo's X-scissor bounces off its rocky hide, Rhydown grabs it by the throat, says, "RHY-RHYDON-RHY." Which translates to, "My friend died for this moment," and buries it beneath the earth.

Right. Two pokemon left. This is where things get brutal and I have to make tough choices to prepare.

I switch Tarsal the Gardevoir into Cradily. I open up with hyper potion on Cheddar. It uses confuse ray.

That could not be more perfect. I use Dire Hit and hyper potion after a sludge bomb.

I use Psychic whic crits and sends cradily to 20% health. In return, sludge bomb crits and poisons and I'm confused. I'm on 5%. I full restore. Sludge bomb poisons again but Psychic finishes it off.


Metagross comes out next and I send out Cheddar who's already mega evolved and who I healed last round.

Oh, and, did I mention?

Before I challenged the league I taught it Earthquake.

Metagross reacts to the Metagrossite and Mega evolves but EQ still lands doing 40% damage. That's not too bad. It uses giga impact and misses. I use crunch and send it into the red.

It uses giga impact and sends me into the red.

It's a stare-down.

Metagross has to recharge.

If I miss, shit goes south.

If I hit, I'm Champion.

Cheddar uses Earthquake.

​

It's over. It's done. Metagross lies in a broken heap of scrap metal and I'm Champion.

I'm Champion.​

It's... over.




Oh God... Drome... What have I done???








***



The Story continues next time in... Pokemon Blue Version.

 

Three slots need filling. I want more Pokemon, but as I exit the Pokemon League, I stop. Font the Skarmory is gone. I don’t have a real flying-type now. And even if I did, so what? There are no more Pokemon to catch outside of water-types. I’m stuck with my boxed Pokemon.

Cheddar the Loudred is the first to be chosen, then Sorrows the Sealeo, and finally, Sera the Golbat for Fly. I want Thaum the Dragonair to evolve, and if these Pokemon level up in the meantime, then so be it. I go back through victory Road to defeat all the trainers I missed. I do it without Flash and it’s interesting that in the dark, items are completely shadowed even though you can kinda see where you’re going. It’s a nice touch.

Those trainers proved not to be enough, so I went to plan B. have no Rare Candies, but with Sorrows knowing Waterfell, I know where to go. Fallador is my first stop and I pick a Rare Candy from the top of the waterfall then head to Meteor Falls. The trainers there are the only ones of their kind left, and I defeat them. The only casualty is Sera, whose corpse I’m still using to Fly with. Also, Cheddar evolves.

No Rare Candies are obtained here, though, so Thaum is still at level 54. Well, time for some manual labour, and after killing numerous Lairons, wings sprout from Thaum’s back and a Dragonite is born.

And that’s it.

I’m not wasting any more time.

I switch out the dead Sera for Oment the Lunatone, teach Waterfall to Thaum to replace Aqua Tail, stock up on healing items like whoa, get my 20+ Sitrus Berries ready, and face the final door.

Now let’s fight the Elite Four.

Current Team.
Thaumologist the Dragonite. L55, M. Waterfall, Dragon Rush, Dragon Dance, Extreme Speed.
Octopus the Ninetales. L52, M. Flamethrower, Extrasensory, Calm Mind, Will-O-Wisp.
MattSilver the Lanturn. L46, M. Discharge, Surf, Signal Beam, Confuse Ray.
Cheddar the Exploud. L44, F. Heat Wave, Other, Other, Does It Matter?
Oment the Lunatone. L35, M. Rock Slide, Psychic, Rock Polish, It’s Been Awhile.
Sorrows the Sealeo. L37, F. Waterfall, Dive, Rock Smash, Frost Breath.

Boxed.
Kalas the Drifloon. L1, M.
Halt the Clampearl. L25, M.
Lyrium the Caterpie. L2, F.
Lungs the Alohamora. L30, M.

Rest in Peace.
Kang the Silcoon. L8, M. I suppose some butterflies aren't meant to be.
Seratin the Zubat. L12, M. You tried your best and that's all that matters.
Tinn the Whismur. L18, F. Yeah, my bad.
Shezza the Zigzagoon. L18, M. You did your duty.
Aekiel the Grimer. L17, M. Couldn't you have lasted more than five minutes?
Cheddar the Wingull. L23, F. I'll miss you. Goodbye.
Lutris the Lombre. L26, M. Godpeed, you dancing fool.
Mage the Serviper. L16, M. Ty, bro.
Zenzao the Machop. L27, M. Without you, everything would have ended. Your sacrifice won’t be in vain.
Evan the Voltorb. L25, M. I didn’t understand and that’s my fault. I should have prepared better.
Froggie the Froginder. L29, M. Ughhhhh.
Poytin the Gyarados. L26, M. Eh.
TMD the Azumarill. L42, M. I took advantage of your courage and your death is on me.
Monkey the Vileplume. L41, M. THIS COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED.
Menace the Bannette. L42, M. You had a cool Mega Evolution, don’t ever forget that.
VanRopen the Absol. L49, M. Couldn’t you be just a little faster?
Font the Skarmory. L48, F. You led my team for half my game. May you have eternal rest.
Sera the Golbat. L31, F. I’m past caring. Let’s go.

 

I wish Serabat lived to fight for the cause but with what's coming up, she'd probably be a hindrance more than a help.

 

I'm going to be cannon fodder, aren't I.

 

You have massive balls.

 

Veilstone - Pastoria

Look, Mister. I know Porygon. I’ve fought with one, I’ve made sure it hasn’t tried to take over the world. That is not a Porygon. It is an Onix. Nor is that Eevee an Eevee, Bebe. It is, however, a Roserade. Not sure how you mixed those two up.

After a brief jaunt onto route 214 for TM28 Dig (plus a failed Primeape catch in the Ruin Maniac’s tunnel) and some training involving a Raikou plus various wild route 215 Pokémon, it’s Gym time. Nothing interesting happens during the trainers, except for me meeting my first Bidoof of the run. Maylene, here I come.

She starts with a Machoke, appropriately. That one Vital Throw crits Minion down to 8hp, and MattSilver takes the field. Maylene withdraws Machoke, sending out her ace: a Sceptile. It is faster than MattSilver is, and knows Pursuit, meaning I can’t switch. I try to build up a Confuse Ray – Double Team strategy, but a crit Leaf Blade kills poor Matt through two Double Teams. (The crit was probably superfluous, but eh.) Aekiel does clean-up with Fire Punch. Vira quenches a Ponyta through her usual Water Pulse confusion hax, and also takes care of Machoke, even if the Fighting-type survives on 2hp before Vital Throwing Vira once.

~~-~~ Ghostly appearance
Unmade in leafy outrage
Sorrowful parting ~~-~~
​

Before heading out to help Dawn, I run by route 214 for my catch, seeing if there’s something available. The answer to that is yes, and TMD the Electivire joins up after Drome inflicts ebola on him. Nothing like bonding over toxins. A few turns fighting Galactic goons and an HM02 later, I head back out to route 214 to start training him for real. I do some running around in the dark grass and encounter another fucking Arceus. Aekiel knows what to do. Despite TMD knowing Low Kick and Arceus weighing way over what gets Low Kick to 120 power, he’s actually not a good match-up for it, because Arceus learn Earth Power.

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth, etc etc etc.

Uxie and Mespirit are found on trainers – Drome whittles them down – and Suicune are also here, along with stuff like Kingdra, Espeon, Politoed, Gallade. Training on wild Pokémon is perhaps boring, but after Maylene, I need levels. The trainers do help, with the Collector boasting four Pokémon that wouldn’t be too out of place in a League-challenging team (Nidoqueen, Ludicolo, Camerupt, Exeggutor), and we don’t talk about the other two.

[Garbled static]

Great, LibreOffice crashed, losing me an hour’s worth of chronicling. Quick rundown then: Fought stuff everywhere, MattSilver’s corpse gave me Repeat Balls and a Heart Scale, caught Avery the Spearow, Cheddar the Pelipper, Rehio the Cranidos, found one Deoxys on a Tuber, and Barry had a team of Rhyperior, Altaria, Croconaw, Swampert. Quad weaknesses are bad, m’kay? On to the Gym.

The Gym Trainers are nothing too imposing, with the odd exception that is still easily dealt with, like a Latias that runs afoul of Minion’s tentacles. I’m sure her trainer – a Tuber – is either really grossed out or will grow up with some interesting… preferences. Or both. I'm sure the real Minion would be proud either way. There is a minor scare when GlaDOS misses an attack and gets High Jump Kicked in return, but 11hp isn’t 0hp, so it’s all fine.

Wake has a minor case of the Psychic-weakness. Grimer, Riolu, Seviper all fall before GlaDOS and her Nasty Plot attacks. The only attack that gets through is Grimer tossing a Screech out, but yeah, when you outspeed and one-shot, that ain’t a problem. Nor is the Galactic grunt, whose Kakuna I let GlaDOS obliterate with a +6 Hyper Beam. That’s what you get for messing with the Great Marsh.


An artist's rendition of what the bomb that blew up the Great Marsh must have looked like.

Party:
Minion the Octillery, L32, M. BubbleBeam, Constrict, Psybeam, Aurora Beam.
Vira the Seaking, L32, F. Peck, Horn Attack, Supersonic, Water Pulse.
Drome the Meganium, L33, F. Cut, Razor Leaf, Petal Dance, Poisonpowder.
Aekiel the Hitmonchan, L33, M. Rock Smash, ThunderPunch, Ice Punch, Fire Punch.
GLaDOS the Porygon-Z, L34. Nasty Plot, Psybeam, Signal Beam, Hyper Beam.
TMD the Electivire, L33, M. ThunderPunch, Low Kick, Swift, Shock Wave.

Reserve squad:
Rehio the Cranidos, L27, M. Pursuit, Take Down, Scary Face, Assurance.
Avery the Spearow, L26, F. Pursuit, Aerial Ace, Mirror Move, Agility.
Zenzao the Xatu, L26, M. Peck, Night Shade, Confuse Ray, Defog.
Cheddar the Pelipper, L25, F. Mist, Water Pulse, Payback, Protect.
Seratin the Hariyama, L22, M. SmellingSalt, Rock Smash, Sand Attack, Vital Throw.
Fontisian the Marowak, L20, F. Bone Club, Headbutt, Leer, Focus Energy.

Antagonists in a future zombie apocalypse:
Republic the Larvitar, L5, M. Have a mint, Giratina, please.
Zeelthor the Glalie, L18, M. Ice did not suffice.
Naeblis the Typhlosion, L21, M. Thanks for glitching the Matrix for me so that the run may continue.
MattSilver the Rotom, L28. Cut down before his time.

Legendaries encountered: 6 (36 total)

 

Well I'm hopping on this bandwagon but I'll be using a new-ish hack called pokemon alchemist.
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The creator has actually completed the world and gyms as well as post game content. In fact all that remains is sprites and implementing some legendaries as well as general play testing. So in effort to play more pokemon and help a creative mind my journey will begin here. Nuzlocke rules are built in to the game due to running off pokemon essentials.
There will be pictures but not as many later on as this first post will have.


My journey begins in the beautiful Ocean Town.
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I was given a pokegear as a birthday present and my mother then oppressively misgendered me. "Respect my life choices!"
[IMGUR]4UzPPNR[/IMGUR]
After that silly mistake that she'll never make again I was off to receive my first pokemon.
For some reason Oak has both a lab and a beach house in this town far from the Kanto region but that doesn't matter to me because he has what I need. A Cyndaquil. He is promptly named Blaze continuing a tradition that dates back to my childhood. All others will be graced with DLP names.

To further my confusion my rival is nowhere to be seen, at least until he runs inside the lab cursing his poor sleeping habits. We do in fact battle a small time later and I only eke out a win due to the free pc potion. This does not bode well for me.

In a fit of arrogance (forgot about the first catch rule) I didn't catch the Lilipup on route one and proceeded to grind a few levels instead. This turned out to be more bad luck than initially accounted for as a helpful lady informed me that route 1 was full of water pokemon, route 2 full of grass, and the mountain beyond that fire. Hopefully I will be able to fish soon to make up for this lack of typing. A Ralts was also gifted to me through mystery gift to commemorate the 3rd beta but since I can't nickname him I sent him to the PC.

To my horror the first gym town is named Mountain city right after route 1. I can only pray no annoying old man will keep me from leaving until I defeat the gym leader.

 

Pastoria - Canalave (and a ton in between)

Route 212 is seventeen kinds of obnoxious, between the swamp, the Cut (normally, I rarely have Cut on my team by now), the swamp, the persistent rain quenching any Fire-type you may have along, and the swamp. Seriously, of all the mechanics Gen IV introduced, the ability to get stuck in terrain is by far the absolute worst, and the fact that they do this in multiple Routes and the Great Marsh irks me something fierce. You can skip route 212 and the Great Marsh at least, but route 216/217… Ugh.

Still, there is a lot of experience to be had here, and so I put aside my distaste and head out. Doesn’t stop me from ordering Minion to exterminate the local wildlife. Alas, poor Rattata, it was not to be.

There’s also a Move Tutor here, and finding him reminds me that I haven’t checked the Move Reminder yet. Back to Pastoria it is. After all, I have 5 Heart Scales and an unlimited supply of them if I want to spend time in the Underground. I spend two, teaching Vira Poison Jab for Peck, and TMD picks up Fire Punch for Shock Wave. The Move Tutor has nothing really interesting for now, though I make note of the Ice Punch possibility for TMD and Gunk Shot for Minion. Maybe if I need the extra coverage (TMD) or a hard-hitting risky move (Minion) I might come back here.

As per Bulbapedia, there’s more evidence for than against Phione being Legendary, so I’m going to count it for the Legendary count. Yes, I found one, on a Ranger to make it more amusing. At least there is no doubt about Jirachi being Legendary, and I am so sad I still have no Pokémon eligible for Amity Square, because that’s where the Amulet Coin is. The upper part of route 212 is very good money with the Vs. Seeker and that.

Aekiel takes on the Five-Maid-Exact-Turn-Challenge, but fails to one-hit several Pokémon (turn limit was 5…). Still good experience, even if he nearly falls to a Hypno and my overconfidence. We also relieve the owner of a Luxury Ball, TM87 Swagger, a Soothe Bell, a Protein, and Irene the Cloyster. We head to Hearthome, exchange Vira for Zenzao for Defog purposes, and go north to the Psyduck. Cynthia does what she does best – aka ‘But Thou Must’-ing us, and on we go to Celestic.

Question: how do you deal with a Wobbuffet? Answer: +6 Hyper Beam so it can’t counter you to death.

So, in a round of near misses: TMD Fire Punches a Breloom down to deep red, the Burn kills it off. Drome Petal Dances Mamoswine to the red as well, and Mamoswine retaliates with an Ice Fang that does 98 damage out of 101hp. Breloom thankfully doesn’t attack Drome, instead hitting TMD with Sky Uppercut. Swift puts an end to both of them, and I pass this round of dodging the dangerous Ace Trainers (even in normal Platinum, they have a nasty pairing: Gyarados/Raichu).

And then Drome doesn’t 2-shot a Medicham with Petal Dance, while Medicham does 2-shot her with High Jump Kick. Oops. I guess Zenzao is returning to active duty? I really don’t have the most varied of reserves. Maybe getting Surf will get me more varied options, but for now, he’ll get the Exp. Share. He gets good experience off of it as well, between the Cresselia, the Latias, the Heatran, and various other experience-heavy Pokémon.

Ah, it’s our resident omnicidal maniac. GlaDOS takes care of his Koffing and Budew, while TMD takes out his own evil twin. For my troubles, I get Surf, which is taught to Minion. I also teach Fly to Cheddar, and use her to quickly take me to Sandgem for routes 219 through 221.

Vira crits a Meowth on route 219, and like hell I’m going to try to catch Manaphy on route 220. Route 221 is at least useful, but I don’t think Poytin the Empoleon is going to make it onto my team. Maybe if Vira or Minion bite the dust. A route 220 trainer I accidentally swim into has a Regice and a Rayquaza to go with her Togepi, by the way. TMD and Aekiel provide the one-shots. The Fuego catch is nixed by Vira on damage range, but under one of my rules, Espeon wouldn’t have come in over Xatu. Zenzao is here to stay again, but he’s going to need a little… investment. I teach Return via TM, and Zen Headbutt via the route 212 Shard Tutor, and then it’s training montage time.



Right, so after many Trainers and Pokémon, including, but not limited to Moltres, Mespirit, Entei, Suicune, a wild Entei on route 221, Rayquaza, Azelf, and an underleveled Arceus (on a route 212 Policeman, paired with a Metagross. Vira took this one down), I head west to Canalave. Levels are pretty good thanks to the trained Pokémon bonus and the absolute insanity of facing so many Legendaries. (Reminder: the previous randomised run I did stopped at 83 after clearing the post-game out except for the second round of the Pokémon League. We’re in the 50s currently.)

Look, Barry, I like you as much as the next twerp, but the Canalave music is exquisite, probably second in the entire game behind Cynthia’s intro. In a word, fuck off.

Luxio is annoying between Swagger (TMD hits himself for 40 %) and Rivalry. His Quagsire gets off a Yawn before it is dead, and I decide to make it a starter-off between Minion and his Swampert. I win because I’m willing to burn Moomoo Milk. Aekiel takes out a Noctowl, the irony too perfect to not do it, and sod the type advantage Noctowl has, and Bonsly also falls to his gloves. Once more defeated, Barry drops a hint about Iron Island and runs off. I’m a good little sheepson and go there, catching Xepheria the Armaldo.

Before joining up with Riley, Aekiel has to punch out a Palkia. Again.

Drifblim is… Eh. I think its only attacking move is Ominous Wind, which means I’m boned in long fights. At least it can tank hits somewhat okay. Then again, I might be spoiled after Mira’s Azelf. Aekiel adds another Legendary to the list he has killed (Shaymin), GLaDOS takes care of a Rayquaza, and the Galactic Grunts have a nasty Staraptor/Sceptile combo that nearly takes out a few members of my team. Yay healing items and switching. Time to hit the Gym to find out what Byron has.

The yelling starts when I enter. It is, paradoxically, soft at first, echoing down from up on high. I hear indistinct slivers that don’t become clearer, just louder, as I ascend in the Gym. Asking the disciples of Byron offers me no help, they smile knowingly, grin infernally, or simply tell me to go find out for myself. Once the last of them falls, I head back to the Pokémon Center, let Nurse Joy do her work, and then I step onto the final lift, marked helpfully in a red I am not sure is pure paint.

The moment I step off the lift, Byron assaults me, throwing a Pokéball my way. “I LOVE MAGNEMITE!” he yells, but my hand was already on TMD’s capsule, and the Electivire punches the magnet down. A faint tink is heard as it hits the floor far down, but Byron is undeterred. “I LOVE BLAZIKEN!” he shouts to the heavens, sending out his ace. With swift motions, I call TMD back, sending out Zenzao, who proceeds to Zen(zao) Headbutt Blaziken off the precariously perched platform. The sickening crunches as the chicken bounces betwixt platforms and beams remind me of that one time in Eterna Forest, just after Zeelthor had died. It is music to my ears. So lost am I in my reverie that I would have missed Byron’s last Pokémon, except for his shout of “I LOVE PACHIRISU!” TMD comes back out, and one rodent is promptly thrown into the wall, though it did try to sweet kiss its way out of TMD’s arms.

I take the Mine Badge and walk out, inspecting my handiwork on the way down. This lift, too, is red.

Yup, definitely not paint.

Party:
Minion the Octillery, L39, M. Surf, Wring Out, Psybeam, Aurora Beam.
Vira the Seaking, L40, F. Poison Jab, Horn Attack, Supersonic, Waterfall.
Aekiel the Hitmonchan, L40, M. Rock Smash, ThunderPunch, Ice Punch, Fire Punch.
GLaDOS the Porygon-Z, L40. Nasty Plot, Discharge, Signal Beam, Hyper Beam.
TMD the Electivire, L39, M. ThunderPunch, Low Kick, Strength, Fire Punch.
Zenzao the Xatu, L39, M. Return, Zen Headbutt, Confuse Ray, --*.

*Not sure what it'll be filled with yet, but I did make him forget Defog.

Reserve squad:
Xepheria the Armaldo, L31, M. Water Gun, Metal Claw, Protect, AncientPower.
Rehio the Cranidos, L27, M. Pursuit, Take Down, Scary Face, Assurance.
Avery the Spearow, L26, F. Pursuit, Aerial Ace, Mirror Move, Agility.
Cheddar the Pelipper, L25, F. Fly, Water Pulse, Payback, Protect.
Poytin the Empoleon, L23, M. Swords Dance, Peck, Metal Claw, BubbleBeam.
Seratin the Hariyama, L22, M. SmellingSalt, Rock Smash, Sand Attack, Vital Throw.
Irene the Cloyster, L21, F. Withdraw, Supersonic, Aurora Beam, Protect.
Fontisian the Marowak, L20, F. Bone Club, Headbutt, Leer, Focus Energy.

Performers in the Danse Macabre
Republic the Larvitar, L5, M. Have a mint, Giratina, please.
Zeelthor the Glalie, L18, M. Ice did not suffice.
Naeblis the Typhlosion, L21, M. Thanks for glitching the Matrix for me so that the run may continue.
MattSilver the Rotom, L28. Cut down before his time.
Drome the Meganium, L34, F. You can dance if you want to, but you left your friends behind.

Legendaries encountered: 19 (55 total)

 

The funny thing is, I only remember three members of the Elite Four.

Glacia, Drake, and Steven. Who are the other two? Nothing comes to mind. I try to think of the types not used by the gym leaders, but eventually give up. It doesn’t matter. I’ll know them as I see them.

I enter a bridge with embers falling down into the sand below. A door opens in the distance and inside I find a punk-looking guy. Dark-type, I know instantly. His name is Sydney. I place Octopus the Ninetales in front. I know my strategy for Norman didn’t quite work, but there’s no harm trying again. Will sends out a Mightyena and immediately, I order Octopus to use Will-O-Wisp. It hits and despite the Mightyena using Swagger, it is now useless. In the next few turns, confusion whittles down my HP, but the same goes for that burn. Mightyena keeps using an attack that’s either missing or not working, and once Octopus get a Calm Mind in, the other follows after. I heal with a Super Potion and a Full Heal and, not wanting to get Swaggered, release a Flamethrower.

The Mightyena dies. The Shiftry sent out after joins it in a turn and when a Sharpedo threatens to come out, I sigh and send out Matt the Lanturn instead. The Sharpedo’s Crunch does over half, but Matt’s Discharge hits true, killing it. Next is a Canturne that gets a Flamethrower in the face, and finally, an Absol. I know the power of Absols, and I send in Thaum the Dragonite, but my worries were unfounded. I outspeed and kill it with a Dragon Rush.

One down, four to go.

Now, I saw a glimpse of the next Elite Four member on the battle screen and I’ve seen her before. That funny flower girl outfit… I remember her type being weird. As I walk across the next bridge, I note the purple flowers. Purple… Purple… Oh, ghost. And any doubts are erased as a ghostly wind opens the door. I can handle ghost. Geez, this girl won’t stop smiling though.

Same strategy as before. No way she has a Jellicent, so it’s not like I can be walled. She sends out a Dusclops, and Octopus burns it. Now that that’s done- Oh, more Confuse Rays. Please stop. Good thing it’s not affecting my Calm Minds. Just need to do one Flamethrower, annnnnnnd-

Dusclops uses Curse.

Oh, fuck you.

… Wait, aren’t I still confused? FFFUUUUUUU-

I try a Flamethrower, but hit myself in Confusion. The Curse sends Octopus flying into red. Phoebe and I both heal our Pokemon, but this Curse is stupid. This Dusclops is stupid. EVERYONE’S STUPID. Fine. Your only attack is Shadow Punch, huh? Well, fuck you, talk to Cheddar the Exploud and see how you like that!

I get confused on the switch in. As I hit myself in confusion, Dusclops uses Curse again. I try to heal, but come the fuck on, this is ridiculous. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CALM MIND SWEEP? I get one Crunch off, not doing enough, before Cheddar’s curse sends her to the grave. Jesus.

I send Octopus back out and kill the Dusclops, winning fame and pats on the back everywhere. That was too annoying. A Banette is set on me next, and this time Octopus gets two Calm Minds off and finishes it in one blow. The Sableye and second Banette follow, and when the Dusknoir appears, it’s too late. A Thunder Punch is not enough, and Octopus puts it on the BBQ. I never knew that Dusknoirs taste like chicken. What a nice surprise!

Two down, three to go.

That done, I heal up, and find a blizzard on the next bridge. Hmm, I wonder what this type is??? It’s fine, I know what to do.

Glacia leads with Glalie, but dear Octopus is already on it. As always, he opens with a Will-O-Wisp and I’m lucky they always hit. I don’t bother with the Calm Minds because I know I’ll just get walled next Pokemon, so I make Glacia waste a Full Restore before blasting that Glalie into infinity. I don’t recognize the next Pokemon, but it’s 100% a water-type, so in comes Matt the Lanturn to save the day! Walreins look goofy, btw. It’s like they have clown hair on.

A few Discharges defeat it, and the last Glalie and two Froslasses are executed by Octopus and Matt in turn.

Three down, two to go.

Hey, this is easier than I thought!

Drake is next. I sense a Gyarados on the horizon, so I send out Matt first, only to be surprised by an Altaria. Shit. Can’t switch out without wasting a filler Pokemon. I try a Discharge only for it to do maybe a quarter. Uhhh. The resulting Dragon Pulse hits like a bus, but Matt's next Discharge paralyzes the Altaria. Okay, I need more power. Luckily, I produce a Special Attack+ from my bag, and boom, Discharge does a third. Yes, you waste that Full Restone, Drake, just gotta do another Discharge, annnnd-

Altaria’s dead!

And I’m out of Discharges. <_<

Whatever. I got this. It’s time. I send out Thaum, but the next Pokemon is Flygon. No time to Dragon Dance. DRAGON RUSH GOGOGOGOGO- It misses.

FUCK.

But Flygon’s Supersonic misses too.

Thank you lord.

Thaum Dragon Rushes that asshole, then proceeds to one-shot the rest of Drake’s team. Yes, even the Intimidating Salamence.

Four down, one to go.

I restore the PP in my Pokemon’s move, heal any superficial wounds, and turn to the last bridge. Ahead, a huge door opens, light shining in my face. Steven awaits me at the end, but I have no fear. Last challenger, last threat.

Let’s go!

Steven leads with Skarmory, and me, expecting this, sends out Matt. A couple Discharges sends the Skarmory to the grave, but I don’t recognize the next Pokemon up next. Whatever, steel is steel, and I sub in Octopus, only to back away as an Aggron materializes before me. SWITCH YOU FOOL-

I send in Oment the Lunatone as a sacrifice and he dies instantly. Matt is sent back in, but this stupid ass Aggron outspeeds and uses Earthquake.

Yeah, Matt dies hard.

Okay, so. I send out Thaum because he’s my only hope. Relying on Stone Edge’s awful accuracy, I watch two of them miss while Thaum uses Dragon Dance twice. That should do it. I select Waterfall only for text to scroll across the screen. I catch the word l’eau (the water) and I think, confused, if Aggron is negating my water attack.

But all is explained when Thaum dives underwater.

…

I taught Thaum the wrong move. -.-

It’s no surprise the Dive doesn’t kill the Aggron, but because of Multiscale, Thaum lives the next Stone Edge by a lot. As Steven heals, I use Dive again, sending Aggron to the red, and dodge another Stone Edge. One Extreme Speed finishes it off, and goddamn, that should have gone wrong.

Steven’s next Pokemon is a Cradily. Wtf, this isn’t a steel-type. CHEATER. Oh god, please don't know Ice Beam. I keep Thaum in and heal, setting his Multiscale back up, while Cradiliy uses Confuse Ray. No, fuck that. I use a Full Heal. I’m not playing that game. An Ancient Power does little to Thaum as Thaum spreads his wings and Dragon Rushses that bitch to hell. A Claydol is sent in as a replacement. KILL IT THAUM, NO MERCY. And no mercy is given, not to the Claydol, and not to the Amaldo.

One left.

Metagross.

I don’t trust this asshole and I use a Super Potion for Multiscale. Ice Punch? No, Mega Evolution! Smoke fans out and from it comes a Meteor Punch- but it’s not enough, even without Multiscale. Does Meteor Punch sometimes give an Attack+ to the user? Hm. Doesn’t matter. It’s time. Let’s see how much this does…

Thaum!

Show him!

DRAGON RUSH.














Not even half.

In return, Metagross puts its arms together. I hear from across the stage:

“Metagross! Giga Impact!”

Oh nooooooooo.

Metagrosses charges. I put my hands over my face and hear a crunch. After a moment, I peak through my fingers.

Thaum lives with 37HP.

I throw Thaum a Hyper Potion while Metagross can’t move, and Dragon Rush it again, taking the second Giga Impact with little damage. Metagross can do nothing now. Final move.

I call the attack. Everyone’s lives and sacrifices have come to this moment.






DRAAAAAAGON



RUSH!






















Metagross falls.

Silence descends upon the arena.

I’ve won.

People congratulate me, but it’s all a blur. As soon as I can, I go off on my own. Three Pokemon remain on my belt, and I send them out to walk beside me. In the distance, the sun sets, red streaking across the sky. It was a hard journey, but we pulled through. Me and my Pokemon…

The Pokemon who have fallen pass through my mind, one-by-one. It’s like I’m still there, like they never left.



Kang the Silcoon. L8, M.
Captured: Route 101.
Death: Crit hax by a howling Poochyena.
Achievements: First Pokemon captured; first Pokemon to die; successfully disguised himself as a Cascoon while he was alive.

If you had lived, you would have been great, but you were the first casualty. Rest now, it’s over.



Seratin the Zubat. L12, M.
Captured: Route 103.
Death: Seismic Tossed into the grave by Brawdy’s Machop.
Achievements: Named Nosferapti in French; walled four critical hits from a Machop.

Well, we tried and that’s all that matters.



Tinn the Whismur. L18, F.
Captured: Whismur Cave.
Death: Slashed into ribbons by Pikachu clones.
Achievements: Echoed Voiced the shit out of many Pokemon; only reliable non-water type for early game.

Fuck Pikachu clones. You deserved better.


Shezza the Zigzagoon. L18, M.
Captured: Route 117.
Death: Sacrificed to Wattson’s Magenton.
Achievements: Took one for the team while I healed Lutris.

Worth it.


Aekiel the Grimer. L17, M.
Captured: Fiery Path.
Death: Leafed by a Roselia.
Achievements: Died within five minutes.

FIVE MINUTES.



Cheddar the Wingull. L23, F.
Captured: Route 103.
Death: Leafed by a Roselia. Those damn Roselias. <_<
Achievements: Killed many prospective team members; came so close to evolving; nearly got me in jail for dying suspiciously.

You helped early game. I’m not sure what I would have done without your typing. Ah, the drawbacks of an almost mono-water team.



Lutris the Lombre. L26, M.
Captured: Route 102.
Death: Fire Punched into mush by a gym trainer’s Meditite.
Achievements: Killed Roxanne’s water-negating Nosepass and evolved after the battle; tanked Watton’s team despite typing.

Your death shouldn’t have happened, but it’s okay, I got revenge.


Mage the Serviper. L16, M.
Captured: Route 114.
Death: Took an Overheat for Froggie.
Achievements: Was vaguely interesting.

Perhaps in another life I would have found a better use for you.



Zenzao the Machop. L27, M.
Captured: Route 112.
Death: Chipped into pieces by Norman’s last Slaking.
Achievements: Made me retire my hopes for a fire-type for a while; destroyed the family of trainers that took Aekiel’s life; pulled me through the first battle with Archie; nearly took on Norman’s entire team by himself.

I always forget how useful Machops are. Your death created a hole in my team and my heart.



Evan the Voltorb. L25, M.
Captured: Route 110.
Death: Killed trying to avenge Zenzao.
Achievements: Avenged Tinn’s death; the boogieman to Pikachu clones in general; avenged Lutris’ death.

No one was ever faster than you. Perhaps you could have outsped that Gallade.


Froggie the Froginder. L29, M.
Captured: Littleroot Town; Wonder Trade.
Death: Died to confusion hax while defending a Latias; will live on in my heart.
Achievements: Gained after trading a female Mudkip; being my starter; had Protean; was a Champ; killed countless Pokemon.

Good night, sweet starter.


Poytin the Gyarados. L26, M.
Captured: Route 105.
Death: Pelipper’d.
Achievements: Existed.

Eh.



TMD the Azumarill. L42, M.
Captured: Petalburg City.
Death: Squished by Kyogre while I was trying to capture it.
Achievements: Came fully evolved; Font’s partner in walling; murdered Mossdeep’s gym leaders.

Your typing couldn’t have been better. I never found a proper replacement for you and I suffered for it.



Monkey the Vileplume. L41, M.
Captured: Route 119.
Death: Iced by Kyogre while trying to avenge TMD’s death.
Achievements: Filled a hole in my team that I didn’t know needed filling; took forever to find a Leaf Stone for; Giga Drained the fuck out of things.

TMD’s death was a tragedy; yours was my bad.



Menace the Banette. L42, M.
Captured: Route 123.
Death: Murdered by Wally’s Gallade.
Achievements: Took a stupid long time to evolve; only Pokemon to Mega Evolve.

No matter what I could have done, you were doomed either way. Take solace in that.



VanRopen the Absol. L49, M.
Captured: Route 120.
Death: Destroyed by Wally’s Gallade while trying to avenge Menace.
Achievements: Being stupidly high-leveled; killed every single Mossdeep gym trainer; avenged TMD and Monkey’s deaths by finishing off Kyogre.

I don’t think I will ever find a weirder Pokemon in a Nuzlocke. Dear god, were you captured high leveled.



Font the Skarmory. L48, F.
Captured: Route 113.
Death: Broken by Wally’s Gallade while trying to protect the rest of her team.
Achievements: Defeated the bombshell Aqua admin in a double battle; walled everything; prevented the potential sweep of an Attack+ Zangoose; avenged Zenzao and Evan’s deaths; team leader for the second half of the game.

The MVP of my playthrough. All hail.



Sera the Golbat. L31, F.
Captured: Underwater Cave.
Death: Crunched by some dragons.
Achievements: Wouldn’t let me leave until I caught her; was my Fly slave for a bit.

I hope you flap happily with your brother in the afterlife.



Cheddar/Tinn V2 the Exploud. L44, F.
Captured: Victory Road.
Death: Thrown at Phoebe’s beast of a Dusclops.
Achievements: Seemed like she’d be a good team member; called Cheddar despite my Whismur being named Tinn; kill me.

You were late to the party so I didn’t much care, but that’s life.



Oment the Lunatone. L35, M.
Captured: Meteor Falls.
Death: Sacrificed to Steven’s Aggron.
Achievements: Destroyed Flannery; was a rock-type when I needed one; saved Font’s life by staying in and taking a Flamethrower; briefly retired from my team in the place of Octopus.

So close to surviving. But maybe you were happier being of use.



MattSilver the Lanturn. L49, M.
Captured: Route 126.
Death: Fell into a crevasse caused by Steven’s Aggron.
Achievements: Murdered many swimmers; learned Discharge at a great time; beat most of Wallace’s team and earned me my final badge; avenged Font, Van, and Menace’s deaths by defeating Wally’s Gallade; tanked and defeated many Elite Four Pokemon; took down Glacia’s Walrein and Drake's Altaria; murdered Steven’s Skarmory; the last casualty.

You pulled your weight. I’d be dead without you.



I also can’t forget the Pokemon who were cheering me on, who did not truly battle, whether from the box or at my side. They were here and I won’t forget.


Kalas the Drifloon. L1, M.
Captured: Lavaridge.
Achievements: Gained after Wonder Trading a Wynaut.

I really had no use for another flying-type. Perhaps another time.


Halt the Clampearl. L25, M.
Captured: Latias Island.
Achievements: None.

Not interested in trade evolutions.


Lyrium the Caterpie. L2, F.
Captured: Research Facility.
Achievements: Being the worst Wonder Trade.

Nah.


Palindrome the Psyduck. L25, F.
Captured: Safari Zone.
Achievements: Forgotten from my Pokemon tally list.

<_<


LT2000 the Wailmer.
Captured: Mossdeep City.
Achievements: Forgotten in my Pokemon tally list.

>_>


Lungs the Alohamora. L30, M.
Captured: Route 131.
Achievements: None.

No thanks.



Sorrows the Sealeo. L37, F.
Captured: Shoal Cave.
Achievements: Good HM slave; made it to the Hall of Fame.

Thanks for being a potential sacrifice! Glad you made it through.



And then there are the true survivors, who followed me to the end.




Octopus the Ninetales. L55, M.
Captured: Mt. Pyre.
Achievements: Taking a long ass time to get on my team; taught me that Vulpixs are weak; killed two of Wally’s Pokemon; killed nearly all of Sydney’s Pokemon; Calm Minded his way through Phoebe’s team; tag-teamed Glacia’s team with Matt.

I waited for you for a long time, and let me tell you, it was worth it.



Thaumologist the Dragonite. L60, M.
Captured: Route 111.
Achievements: Gained from a Wonder Trade after someone sold their soul for me; became the ace of my team; took over as team leader after Font’s death; evolved just before the Elite Four; nearly swept Drake’s entire team; avenged Matt and Oment’s deaths by killing Steven’s Aggron, finished the game by way of Dragon Rush.

Our partnership was fated from the moment you were traded to me. Let us continue this relationship, wherever it might take us.





The end is here. I see a road up ahead. I’m just glad everything ended happily. I put my Pokemon away as I get closer to the road, and find myself running. What should I do after this? I don’t want to do another journey right now, but I’ve always wanted to try a stream. That’d be fun… Maybe-

Hm?

Oh, it’s a police car. H- Hello officers. Nice evening, isn’t it- Yes, I’m Vira, the new Champion! I just won. I couldn’t have done it without-

…

What? When did I go to Lava Ridge? N- Not that long ago, I guess. You know what, I think that’s my ride, I’ll just be going- What? T- That picture… No, I don’t recognize it! I’ve never seen her before in my life! A gym trainer at Flannery’s gym? Well, yes, I know I said I was there, but it wasn’t me, it wasn’t-

No, get your hands off me! I’M INNOCENT! I WANT MY LAWYER. Don’t- You know what? FUCK IT. I’M THE CHAMPION. Octopus, Flamethrower! Thaum, fly me away! YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE.

SO LONG SUUUUCCKKKKKEERRRRRSSSSSSS





















Name: Vira. (MIA; wanted for murder, please call the police if you see this person).
Survivors: 9 / 30. (30%).
Deaths: 21 / 30. (70%).


Yes, I did make images for every single Pokemon. Yes, the forum did tell me that I had too many images and to go fuck myself.

 

Okay, now the physics of sound isn’t exactly my forte, but in real life, the equivalents of Canalave and Lake Valor are in the ballpark of 300km apart. For the explosion to be heard in Canalave with such intensity, you’d think there’d be more damage done to the actual stuff around the lake, but no, the Seven Stars restaurant is standing (and its patrons fleeced out of their money with the help of an Amulet Coin) as I come by before heading to Lake Valor.

I love the smell of flopping Magikarp in the morning. Maybe some of them passed away; I am low on bones for any rituals I may or may not need to perform in the near future. Unfortunately, the ones up top are all alive and flopping, and the Galactic Grunts make sneaking off with one to closely examine a Magikarp’s bone structure impossible. There IS something strange going on here, though, as TMD missed four Fire Punches in a row. On a Metapod. (Fucking get Sand Attacked once…)

Saturn comes with a Groudon as a starter, and it is, for once, a Legendary Aekiel can’t kill. Earthquake… Ice Punch and a Hyper Beam from GLaDOS finish it off. Too bad her other Pokémon are weak.

A suspiciously full backpack later, I fly over to Twinleaf. Hi Mum, can you wash my clothes? No, that’s not blood, what are you talking about? I was helping repaint the Canalave Gym. Some Magnemite chipped the paint in our battle and I felt responsible. Aren’t I a mature little boy? I hear Professor Rowan calling, bye!

The irony of Mars having Uxie is not lost on me. It is also an incredibly annoying fight: Uxie has Yawn, Future Sight, and Endure. Her second Pokémon Flygon has Supersonic. The third Pokémon is Manaphy. All of those Pokémon have solid defences, and by the time Manaphy rolls around, half my team is asleep due to Uxie’s shenanigans. I’m not in danger of losing anyone, but it is tedious. Time to restock on Moomoo Milk, Max Repels, and head to some of the worst places in Sinnoh.

Thaum the Staryu joins my ever-increasing troupe of Water-types, though he’s probably back of the list for replacement options. I’m lucky I got him, actually: Vira’s Poison Jab poisoned and between poison and hail he was left on 1hp or so.

The first Pokémon I face fills me with dread. Claydol is one of those Pokémon that have a couple of incredibly nasty moves from level-ups. I know they get Self-Destruct, and on evolving, they learn fucking Hyper Beam. I’m caught flat-footed with Zenzao out – he’s not exactly tanky – and I switch to Aekiel, because he is the best wall I have. The Power Trick is a very unwelcome move to see, switching Claydol’s considerable defences for its okay-at-best attack, but the critgods are, for now, on my side, as Ice Punch sends it to its grave. One bullet dodged, quite a few to go. The Pokémon here are my level or higher in some cases, and if RNG lands on the high end – hi there Azelf in the very next fight – it could end up really bad.

Of course, there are Mewtwo in the route 217 grass. I nope the fuck out.

A Walrein crits a Body Slam on Minion, leaving him on 1hp from somewhere in the high 40s. I could have healed him from there, but I figured I was safe. I was, apparently, wrong. The Hail goes off, Minion killing the Walrein with a Psybeam before that, and down the octopus goes. Goodbye, my starter, you were appropriately gross and useful. Deliberations about a replacement start immediately.

I skip the Acuity Lakefront catch with a Max Repel. I need healing and a visit to the graveyard first. I heal up, fight an Idol to warm up a tiny bit, and then head out to Acuity Lakefront, where I find Monkey the Chimchar. Yes, I could not resist the name.

Infernape are fun, but they don’t exactly fill a niche I don’t already have filled. The same goes for my many, many Water-types: Vira can Surf even if she’s a physical attacker. In the end, I decide to go with a Pokémon I have never used – mostly because Fossils come way too late in most games to be actually useful or have shitty types. Xepheria, you’re on, now sit on the sidelines for a while. Calm nature irks me, but Battle Armour is lovely. I also throw the X-Scissor and Rock Tomb TMs his way, and after a very annoying fight with a Miltank in the Gym, I also teach him Rock Smash so I can free that spot up on Aekiel’s moveset for Sky Uppercut.

Of course, it’s an Articuno in the Ice-type Gym, and one that procs AncientPower too. Luckily, Vira poisoned it beforehand, and AncientPower isn’t that powerful anyway. It was one of the few Legendaries I hadn’t seen yet, so that’s something at least. By my count, it’s just Celebi, Regirock and Registeel, Kyogre, and Latios I haven’t seen yet.

I’m underlevelled for Candace, but let’s do this. She starts, appropriately and annoyingly, with a Walrein. It Swaggers Vira, who proceeds to hit herself, and while I feed Vira cookies to heal her, Hail goes up. TMD comes in, gets Swaggered, hits himself, gets healed, hits himself again, gets healed, and finally snaps out of Confusion to OHKO the walrus. Geodude is less of a problem for obvious reasons. Aekiel takes his new Sky Uppercut for a spin on a Sneasel, and Zenzao butts heads with a Golbat. This is worse than you might think because it’s one of those annoyer-bats: Poison Fang, Mean Look, Confuse Ray. I still win with careful cookie application. I head to the Center, heal up, open the TM/HM part of my bag and pick Rock Climb, ready to teach it to Xepheria. Surely he can learn it, he has claws and all, he’s a Rock-type...

One flight later, TMD knows Rock Climb and Xepheria knows Strength. Off to Lake Acuity.

Well, guess who forgot you don’t fight the Galactic Commander here and who also put his flyer in the box… Goddammit deep snow. Off to Veilstone, then.

Looker charges right in, I follow suit. I do have to thank Cyrus for blowing up Lake Valor after all. They’re pulling out the A-team for their defence, though: first Pokémon in is Deoxys. Of course, the second and third are literally Minun and Plusle, but as Vira will tell you, those are nasty all of their own.

Warp panel puzzles, another one of those mechanics that should probably have been retired. I hated the concept of warps before I ever played a Pokémon game, and the nearly twenty years since I first encountered some have not diminished that one iota. At least these are reasonably simple, if annoying.

Aekiel adds Groudon to his kill list thanks to a crit, sparing me a lot of trouble, but the other Pokémon leading up to Cyrus are weak and barely worth my time. Cyrus starts with a Dewgong, and Aekiel dodges a Sheer Cold on the switch away from Zenzao before dipping into deep red after an Aqua Tail. Alakazam is second, and it is level 46 and Cyrus’s ace, meaning that I’ve officially entered the part of the that features only fully evolved Pokémon – sort of. Kind of straddling the line for now. I resort to Confuse Ray trickery, heals, and an X-Special Defence to let Zenzao beat it, but it goes down. Close though – at +1 SpA and +0 SpD for Zenzao, it did more than half with Psychic, and Zenzao is my best Pokémon against that. Spinarak is… an odd choice for a third Pokémon, though it does know Psychic as well. (One of the line’s oddities.) Xepheria still eats it alive, and we get a Master Ball for our troubles.

Saturn, again, does the whole two-weak-and-one-Legendary thing. This time, she’s got a Cresselia, which at least is a tad easier to deal with than Groudon. To wit: Xepheria is six levels down on her, and he still wins easily. However, the minor scare with Alakazam does weigh on me, prompting that most exciting of events: the training montage.



There was a pocket of trainers left on route 213 that I hadn’t fought yet (Surfing SE of the main beach), which netted me fights with Celebi, Darkrai, and Registeel. Otherwise, I just went around, collected items, and occasionally used the Vs. Seeker, though only one trainer had actually improved Pokémon. Easy training, if nothing else. Off to Route 207 and Mt. Coronet with a level 44 party.

A wave of dizziness sweeps over me as I approach the remnants of the painting, and I hear, rather than see, Looker approaching from behind. He is either oblivious or ignorant of my condition and informs me that I must be the one to battle the Commanders, for he cannot. He gives me a mysterious flute, all black, but I do not feel anything inside it. It must be a regular flute. Shame.

The first of the grunts falls, his face aghast as TMD burns his Christmas tree Pokémon to a crisp. I pause to collect the ashes and then leave the shell-shocked man to the International Police detachment coming up from behind. A second grunt is also remanded into custody, his Pokémon sadly inconsequential.

It is strange to see Sharpedo floating here, on the wintry slopes of Mt. Coronet, but I do not question my luck. TMD punches it out, and at my command, breaks off the largest sharp tooth found in its mouth. This, too, is put into a part of my backpack as purple energy emanates from above, soothing yet strange. An Absol’s sickle is collected next, the strange shape comfortable in my hands.

I wield it as more Galactic Grunts fall before me. Strong Pokémon. Weak Pokémon. They matter not. All fall before my might, from the lowest Torchic to the mightiest Uxie. I flit in and out of caves, the jaunts outside revitalising me, the time spent inside draining. One Grunt asks me: “Where do you get all this power?” In truth, I neither know nor care. All I know is that it is mine, and mine alone.

It is not infinite. The caves stretch on, battles devolving into blurs. A dusknoir lays a Curse on Vira, and though her symptoms vanish as she retreats into the solitude of her Pokéball, the drain remains on me. A final trainer… Weak Pokémon barely prob… Light up a…. O.. Mo… Step!

Party:

Vira the Seaking, L45, F. Poison Jab, Horn Attack, Surf, Waterfall.
Aekiel the Hitmonchan, L45, M. Sky Uppercut, ThunderPunch, Ice Punch, Fire Punch.
GLaDOS the Porygon-Z, L45. Nasty Plot, Discharge, Signal Beam, Hyper Beam.
TMD the Electivire, L45, M. ThunderPunch, Low Kick, Rock Climb, Fire Punch.
Zenzao the Xatu, L45, M. Return, Zen Headbutt, Confuse Ray, Future Sight.
Xepheria the Armaldo, L45, M. Rock Slide, X-Scissor, Rock Smash, Strength.

Reserve squad:
Monkey the Chimchar, L33, M. Nasty Plot, Torment, Facade, Fire Spin.
Thaum the Staryu, L33. Camouflage, Swift, BubbleBeam, Minimize.
Rehio the Cranidos, L27, M. Pursuit, Take Down, Scary Face, Assurance.
Avery the Spearow, L26, F. Pursuit, Aerial Ace, Mirror Move, Agility.
Cheddar the Pelipper, L25, F. Fly, Water Pulse, Payback, Protect.
Poytin the Empoleon, L23, M. Swords Dance, Peck, Metal Claw, BubbleBeam.
Seratin the Hariyama, L22, M. SmellingSalt, Rock Smash, Sand Attack, Vital Throw.
Irene the Cloyster, L21, F. Withdraw, Supersonic, Aurora Beam, Protect.
Fontisian the Marowak, L20, F. Bone Club, Headbutt, Leer, Focus Energy.

Names in my Death Note:
Republic the Larvitar, L5, M. Have a mint, Giratina, please.
Zeelthor the Glalie, L18, M. Ice did not suffice.
Naeblis the Typhlosion, L21, M. Thanks for glitching the Matrix for me so that the run may continue.
MattSilver the Rotom, L28. Cut down before his time.
Drome the Meganium, L34, F. You can dance if you want to, but you left your friends behind.
Minion the Octillery, L41, M. Flattened and put on ice.

Legendaries encountered: 12 (67 total)

 

Anybody interested in taking this a step further by recording their gameplay? I've been tinkering with OBS and while the video quality is good, without investing in a mic other than my standard laptop the sound quality is pretty poor.

 

I'd have to stop being a lazy ass and finish my FireRed Nuzlocke that I've been doing on my Youtube channel first. Extremely lazy since that Nuzlocke is currently post 7th gym.

 

So I am a mediocre writer so I decided not to go through the whole process like all of you, but I figured I'd show you some pictures of my current Fire Red Advanced Nuzlocke. It's an awesome hack so far.

I started with a Fennekin, which has been conveniently turned into a sprite for this hack. I have never liked its line before, but I figured I'd give it a go this time around.
[IMGUR]nrb6Gno[/IMGUR]

Aekiel the Exeggcute, Vira the Pidgey, and Font the Sentret also helped me get past the first couple of badges. Monkey the Combee joined up in the Viridian Forest with Pick up as its ability. Monkey picked up some great stuff (2 Leftovers and a bunch of Protein, Carbos, Zinc etc.). Oment, the Tynamo joined the team in the Pewter electric garden

The guy at the front of the gym gives you a Tyrouge before you battle Brock (Zenzau), who ended up being my only casualty (only one up to Fuchsia so far).

Here's the squad before Misty:
[IMGUR]KJkqDXX[/IMGUR]

Soon thereafter Locke the shiny Porygon popped out of Bill's computer:

[IMGUR]SPfYyrr[/IMGUR]
I used the shiny clause as an excuse to use him.

[IMGUR]X4MPqzm[/IMGUR]
Yes, Bill is a Luvdisc (still is to my knowledge).

Aekiel died and I added Palindrome the Shroomish (grinded up to Breloom) to the team before Surge. The guy at the front of the gym is super helpful yet again:
[IMGUR]0lEoW3C[/IMGUR]

Seratin turns into this badass soon thereafter: (Way better in sprite form IMO)
[IMGUR]OlrJsDo[/IMGUR]

There are some great additions in this hack:
- many sprited gen 6 Pokemon
- some Pokemon have been re-tooled (Weezing is Poison/Fire, Goomy is Poison/Dragon, Feraligatr is Dragon/Water... there is way more cool stuff)
- useless moves like Flash have been buffed, and other cool moves have been added
- and the creator has his own brand of humor:
[IMGUR]vxRjUaT[/IMGUR]

I stopped taking screenshots for a while, but here is the squad before Koga:
(See below)

So forgive me for not torturing y'all with a long rant-like novelized Nuzlocke! I'll let y'all know who makes it to the end.

Boxed Pokemon:
Taure the Roggenrola
NTD the Venipede
Cheddar the Ralts
Custer the Klink
Monkey the Combee
VanRopen the Phanpy
Hermione the Zubat
Vira the Pidgeotto
(the rest are randomly named, I was having trouble finding more usernames in this thread).


EDIT: Hmm, depressing... looks like the links expired or something? I am not an experienced user of imgur. I'll try it again, but with less images because I don't want to blow up the page.

Unfortunately, there was a tragedy last night. Palindrome the Breloom died suddenly and unexpectedly to a Pidgeot's flying priority move. I was careless. I'm sorry...

Thuam the Eevee (gift in Fuchsia), and Poytin the Pawniard (Route 15 capture) join the team. I've also done some serious grinding because I don't want my friends to die.
[IMGUR]E6Tpa8r[/IMGUR]

Current Team:
Thaum the Vaporeon, Serious Nature: Surf, Ice Beam, Wish, Scald
FlyingOcto the Flygon, Bashful Nature: Earth Power, Bug Buzz, Dragon Claw, Quiver Dance
Seratin the Delphox, Quiet Nature: Flamethrower, Psychic, Will-o-Wisp, Calm Mind
Locke the Shiny Porygon-Z, Careful Nature: Tri Attack, Recover, Discharge, Ice Beam
Oment the Eelektross, Quiet Nature: Discharge, Crunch, Thunder Wave, Wild Charge
Poytin the Bisharp, Hardy Nature: Night Slash, Swords Dance, Cross Chop, Psycho Cut

 

Is it just me or are the pictures in sildet's post not working for anyone else?

 

Nah it's me too, getting nada.

 

I re-tooled the links, and I think they should be working now. There are less of them though because the pictures are pretty big.

 

Aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm the first to die. Again.