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WIP Displaced by TheMountainJew - T/M (?) - Spiderman / DC

Discussion in 'Anime, Cartoons, and Comics' started by DerHesse, Sep 5, 2016.

  1. DerHesse

    DerHesse Unspeakable

    Joined:
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    Male
    Location:
    Frankfurt/Main
    Title: Displaced
    Author: TheMountainJew
    Rating: T/M (?)
    Genre: Action
    Status: WIP
    Fandom: Spider-man/DC crossover
    Length: 2 chapters, 20k+ words

    https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/displaced-spider-man-dc-crossover.410660/

    Summary: It's a new story featuring a seventeen year old Spider-man suddenly placed in Gotham during a Joker plot, which kicked of an unprecedented gang war. The first two chapters cover the first 24 hours in Gotham and introduce a number of characters.

    According to the author a lot of the story is already planned and there is currently a poll regarding the update rate.

    How do you prefer your updates?



    1. 10k+ word count but update every month or so
      4 vote(s)
      5.9%
    2. 8k word count but every couple of weeks
      3 vote(s)
      4.4%
    3. 6k word count and lower but updates at least once a week
      46 vote(s)
      67.6%
    4. 3k word count but updates every couple of days
      15 vote(s)
      22.1%

    What I've read so far I greatly enjoyed and I am hopeful, that the author will keep it up given his in my opinion great characterization of Spider-man and Gotham itself.
     
    Last edited: Sep 5, 2016
  2. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Solid story, if short at the moment. Grammar and punctuation is decent although not perfect. Peter's 'voice' falls a little flat at times, and the author doesn't have the best grip on his humour/snark.

    Beyond that, the story is well written and the plot is gearing up to be interesting. Seeing the first meeting between Spiderman and Bats should be pretty good. Cautiously optimistic.
     
  3. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    Eh, it's hard to write humor, so I'll let that slide. He kept Peter in character, and that's what's important.
     
  4. Legend3381

    Legend3381 Seventh Year

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    I like it so far, there are not many good spiderman crossovers, so this story can stand out as long as he continues.
     
  5. DerHesse

    DerHesse Unspeakable

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    Last edited: Sep 7, 2016
  6. Legend3381

    Legend3381 Seventh Year

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    My biggest critisms of the story for far is:

    There hasn't been a major event that pushes the plot forward yet and I think that will add some more excitement into the story, like facing off against batman or meeting and fighting batgirl. Fighting villians are sort of common thing for superhero.

    I also think the past couple of chapters could be condensed into one. Meeting the doctor, creating identities, and hunting through garbage should not be 2 or 3 chapters.

    I also feel that the heroic nature of Peter's character is being overplayed or in other words he is being to much of a goody too shoes. Who really care about the legality and ownership of garbage. Peter, in this story, is a 17 year old teenage who has only been spiderman for about 2 year. He should be panicking and desperate from being transported to another earth. Instead he is calm and pick up where he left off in NY. Logically, trying to find a way home should be priority one not instead of starting a life and setting up roots. If cannon peter was transported to an alternate reality, he would definitely either steal what he needs in the beginning (he is desperate) or take it from a criminal. His next step would be to break into a lab and try to analyze the event that brought him here and try to reverse it. When he could not he would then either seek out a magical means or try to establish a base to operate from.

    I want to see Spiderman meet the bat family. The seems to be the heart of the story so bring it no.
     
  7. DerHesse

    DerHesse Unspeakable

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    In the last chapter it's implied that something or someone wants him to stay in Gotham. For example the way he couldn't remember the Green Goblin.

     
  8. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The derail in there is pants on head retarded.
     
  9. Invictus

    Invictus Master of Death

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2013
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    3,882
    Usual space battles shtick then.
     
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