So...

• The summary tells almost nothing about the story
• petty shipping slapfighting
• pretends that bashing is completely fine, perhaps even good

I'd suspect this was trolling, but 230k words would be a lot of effort for that...

 

Uh huh...
Didn't know the average girl-who-lived was into writing FF. Guess you learn something new every day

 

...I have no idea what that summary says.

 

This is actually something I'd report to the FF.net mods as a spam fic. At least write a shitty summary that we mock instead of this.

 

This is the first paragraph of the story:

 

I'm so confused right now. I just have so many questions.

 

Birth of a Dancing Star by asecretchord
After the fall of Voldemort, Harry Potter fell in love with Severus Snape—and that is where our story begins. All Harry wanted was a quiet year to finish his education, but when the Sorting Hat raises the spectre of Voldemort reborn and Luna is telling him he's going to change the world, a quiet year becomes impossible.

This fic was recommended on Reddit and I have no idea why anyone would want to recommend something like this. I'm not sure what's worse Snape/Harry or the fact that one or both of them might actually become dancing stars.

 

I didn't really register the title so the only thing I picked up at first was Harry/Snape, which are are a dime a dozen. If this is actually about dancing, and dear god I know dancing AU's are a thing that exists, then yeah this just got so much weirder.

 

I decided to crack it open to see if there where any other gems in here and it turns out it's an mpreg as well. Although I did misinterpret the title it actually has nothing to do with dancing. Not that it would have helped the fic either way.

---------- Post automerged at 09:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:37 PM ----------

Dance!
By: Naia
AU Hogwarts is the most famous ballet school of Europe, and Hermione is proud to be part of its graduating class. But this year, the young prodigy Harry Potter, son of two ballet stars is coming to Hogwarts... This is a year everyone will remember.
Rated: Fiction K - English - Romance - Hermione G., Harry P. - Chapters: 12 - Words: 90,758 - Reviews: 1,164 - Favs: 1,296 - Follows: 527 - Updated: Oct 22, 2008 - Published: Aug 28, 2003 - Status: Complete - id: 1497453

Need I say more about how terrible this seems.

 

For a full five seconds I was convinced the author's screen name was asscrotchlord.

 

That sounds like something straight out of Sirius' mouth in Black Comedy.

Sorrows this author has another fic that I think might have been recced on DLP and that's why it's so familiar. It's called:

Anarkia

Abandonned by his guardians, Harry Potter vanished from existence. Years later, a young man graduates from one of the most elitist and secrete Magical schools and makes his way through Magical societies. Fate or Fatality? Ancient Greeks called it Anarkia.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 100,637 - Reviews: 1872 - Favs: 4,957 - Follows: 5,159 - Updated: Mar 16 - Published: May 19, 2005 - Harry P.

That being said some of this authors favorite's leave a lot to be desired in terms of proper summaries.

Under suspicion by Ottilchen reviews

Harry Potter certainly never expected to be visited that night, but he learns he is needed, and he is needed now. He becomes a new person so he is safe while he is helping. What will being home again be like from an entirely new perspective? Can he help?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 34 - Words: 190,436 - Reviews: 1106 - Favs: 773 - Follows: 494 - Updated: Oct 24, 2010 - Published: Mar 5, 2002 - Harry P.

 

What if we tried to put into summary, as much "what ifs" and cliches as we can?

 

The bolded bit speaks for itself.

 

I choked on name of the fic.

---------- Post automerged 27th Dec 2016 at 16:14 ---------- Previous post was 26th Dec 2016 at 23:41 ----------

There is zero chance of the Dursleys being able to stop Harry from going to Hogwarts

 

Burn it with fire

 

Daydreams -:- By : BitterWind -:- Published : January 4, 2017
Updated : January 4, 2017 4:34 am -:- Rated : Adult + -:- Chapters : 3 -:- Reviews : 0 -:- Dragon prints : 131
Located : Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female> Draco/Hermione

Draco takes a potion and learns about Hermione as he views her daydreams. This will be a longish story, and will build slowly. If you are patient, you will be rewarded.

Somehow I don't think there will be anything rewarding about this fic.

 

I'm just surprised at the fact it's meant to be long. I could understand the premise as a oneshot smut thing...

 

Adultfanfiction is cheating