To my eternal shame, my new flatmates have got me watching a trashy TV show called Millionaire Matchmaker. As part of the show, people are encouraged to lay out their "five non-negotiables": the five things they look for in a romantic partner, the lack of which automatically disqualifies someone from consideration.

As trashy as the show is, this is also kinda fun to think about. So: what are your five non-negotiables?

For me, a potential partner must:

1. Be well-educated.

2. Be physically fit (healthily fit, not necessarily athletic).

3. Want to have kids one day.

4. Be career focused.

5. Have liberal values (in the sense of being non-conservative as opposed to the sense of being left wing).

 

Well, non-negotiables are harsh, but I guess I have strong preferences. I prefer my partner to be:

1) Healthy. I'm not interested in obese or suicidal people.

2) Intelligent. Well, average smarts and common sense is fine. I just don't date stupid people.

3) Broad-minded. Religious or political fanaticism is a no-no.

4) Functioning member of society. Needless to say, a homeless person with no future is impossible.

5) Female. I'm straight.

 

A potential partner must:

1. Speak English. This already erases majority of people I know IRL.

2. Not be morbidly obese, chubby is fine but more than that is just tiresome.

3. Be against having children.

4. Be interested in the same or at least similar pointless pop-culture bullshit I am.

5. Be younger than me.

 

My potential partner must:

1) Be left-wing, but not a fanatic

2) Be at least a little loose with monogamy

3) Have a solid grasp of mental health issues, or willing to learn

4) Like fantasy

5) Not want biological kids, unless they're a woman and willing to carry them.

Oddly enough I don't really care about their intelligence.

 

1. Be well read, and generally have intellectual curiosity, willingness to change her mind.

2. Be attractive. Equal or greater than me.

3. Be fit/healthy.

4. Be good. Not nice/boring, but good. A little bit of arrogance is fine (perhaps even desired).

5. Be outgoing/social.

 

1. Must have a strong character
2. We need to be able to debate for hours about even the most pointless things.
3. Must be trustworthy. (Also no history with cheating in her previous reletionships)
4. She can't be an extremist about political or social view points( This goes fpr my close friends as well)
5.She needs to be a rational person.

 

She must:

1) Be able to take a joke. Especially offensive humor.

2) Read good books (Twilight on the fav list is a red flag!)

3) Get along with my best friend. He's like my brother. If they don't get along it won't work out.

4) Doesn't drink a lot. Some girls I know want to party and get trashed every weekend and I don't drink, so...

5) Can't be morbidly obese. Being "thick" is okay, but not unhealthy big.

 

1) Not a mudblood

2) Not a blood-traitor

3) Not a half-blood

4) Not a Muggle

5) Less than 40 galleons an hour

 

The fact that no one has said "Must be a Harry Potter fan"...

1. Needs to know how to banter. I dislike the word but it covers what I mean.

2. Be at least sligtly attractive, a 6.5/10 is enough for me.

3. NOT be taller than me.

4. NOT be high maintenance. Special days (such as Birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, etc.) will get the high maintenance but don't expect that every single day.

5. And of course, must, atthe very least LIKE (With the potential to love) me. I was in a relationship for far too long where I am now pretty sure my partner didn't like me all that much.

 

After 20 years of marriage all of the little things such as looks and weight don't really matter in the long run. Both of us have gained and lost way too many pounds to count over our time together. Laying in bed at night next to someone that you know is a good person that loves you is worth so much more. Knowing that you can trust them to be there when you need them and knowing that you want to be there when they need you is an awesome feeling. Not sure how to put this into 5 but here goes.

1. A decent person
2. A caring person
3. A trusting and trustful person
4. An intellectually curious person
5. An easy going person

 

1) Able and interested in pulling me out of my shell.
2) Not interested in shallow gossipy reality-show-esque bullshit.
3) Tolerant of other people/cultures/ideas.
4) Not an adrenaline junkie / party hound.

And that's it. I'm not a hugely sexual person, so looks/fitness are not that big of a deal.

#1 continues to be the biggest obstacle to me finding someone compatible, which is probably more a comment on myself than on others.

 

1) smart

2) have goals in life

3) likes to game in some fashion or is well-read

4) doesn't smoke/ do drugs and is generally healthy

5) not high-strung/high-maintence/shallow

 

1) Enjoys in depth discussions about academic/political/theoretical/etc topics that may not be directly personally relevant while also being able to work through conflicts or issues through rational discussions without taking things too personally. Ie, generally someone I can respect and interact with on an intellectual level.

2) Both a trusting and a trustworthy person. Not just from a cheating perspective, but also the perspective where if they say they will do something, they will both attempt to and be able to do it.

3) Generally be competent and ambitious about something. Whether their career, a sport, a hobby, etc.

4) Have at least some similar interests.

5) As shallow as it sounds, meet a level of what I find attractive.

 

1) Self-aware and focused on self-growth. I'm delighted by continually learning new things, improving myself, and having new experiences, and I need partners who are the same.

2) Career-focused. I have a lot of professional ambition and am looking to climb rapidly in my career, and I am attracted to people who are equally as driven. I very much dig the power couple dynamic.

3) A gamer and massive geek. My ideal partner would want to play video games with me late into the night, play D&D and board games (bonus points if they DM!), go to conventions, be big into sci-fi and fantasy, and do the couple cosplay thing with me. I work in the video game industry and my social circles run fairly geeky, so not sharing these things would make for A Very Bad Time.

4) This should be a given with everything I said prior, but intelligence. I prefer my humans to be intellectually curious, well read, well educated, and exceedingly clever.

5) Empathy. While I very much enjoy a streak of arrogance, I've had exes who were very intelligent but cold and condescending toward anyone they felt were inferior. It was a bad time.

 

1) Not obese

2) Passionate about something

3) Likes outdoors and hiking

4) Intellectually curious

5) Open to new experiences and doesn't shoot down activities/hobbies/books/etc without giving them a fair chance.

 

No particular order

1. Attractive

2. Intelligent

3. Weird

4. Have a career/career goals/passion

5. Be a good person

 

1) Attractive, at least to me. I'm a big fan of exotics so it can vary wildly.

2) Can/likes to argue. I love discussing stuff, I really really do. People that refuse or dislike that just don't work with me.

3) Be intelligent. I'm an arrogant prick. I need someone able to keep me on my toes and that can hit back intellectually.

4) someone I respect. Someone that, personally, I see as worthy of my respect and trust.

5) Ambitious. Doesn't matter how. I want to see that desire to shape and change the world or the part of the world they like. Can be career or family focused.

And the 6 one is liking animals. But monsters that don't like animals don't count as people to me, so it's five only. Honestly, I like engaging with people with wildly different views, its always nice to see the other side or sides.

 

1) Intelligent- good enough to have a conversation about most things.
2) Independant- I don't want someone who leans on me for everything. I want her to go and do cool things on her own initiative.
3) Be female
4) Have some interest in my interests- nerdy in some way shape or form.
5) Jewish.

My mom was liberal, my dad conservative, and I'm cool with both sides.