Oh my god...

 

A new trunk you say?

Tell me more. You've inspired me.



---

Harry Potter sat down across from his friends in the Gryffindor commonroom, and smirked a lopsided grin.

"What's going on then?" Ron asked as he tucked into his seventy-fifth pie of the evening.

"I've come up with a list," Harry smirked, smirkingly, "of 'Powers the Dark Lord knows not'." He smirked again.

"Well go on, don't leave us in suspense," Hermione replied breathlessly, now that she realized she was in love with Harry and not Ron.

"Power number one: contact lenses."

Ron looked up and mispronounced a simple word for no particular reason. "What are koncact leases?"

"They're like eye glasses but they fit directly onto your eyes so they don't fog up," Harry replied, still smirking.

"But Harry... you don't have contact lenses," Hermione replied before Ron could ask more questions.

"Not yet," Harry winked, giving her a smirk and a lopsided grin. "But there's a shop just off Knockturn Alley that does magical eye examinations and can hook me up with magical contacts. Loads of enchantments like Mad-Eye so I can look through the wall to the girls' dorm- I mean, to whatever nefarious things Malfoy is up to. Voldy won't know what hit him!"

"Couldn't he just... I dunno, summon the lenses?" Ron asked.

"No." Harry and Hermione replied at the same time.

"Moving on. Power number two: House-elf magic."

...

 

Dat lopsided grin tho.

 

I smirked all the way through it.

 

vlad

I feel violated, now I need to read a story where Voldemort wins to balance it out.

 

I think you mean ivebeenviolated, amirite?

"Ah come in Bellatrikssssssss, Sssssseverussssss," Voldemort hissed, hissingly, without a trace of a grin - lopsided or otherwise.

The two bowed, as befitting for all those in the presence of the Dark Lord.

"I must commend you, Severus - you have done well, pretending to teach the boy occlumency and removing his natural defenssssses. He will never have so much as a mindscape, let alone an obssssssssidian shield to keep me out."

Snape bowed, a sneer sneeringly sneered at the mention of the Potter brat.

"It is a pleasure, my Lord," he said.

"I have been inside the boy'sssssss mind every night, and have heard the prophessssssy in full. I have since that time snuck thoughtssssss into his head while he is sleeping; thoughts he believes to be his own. Bella -" the Dark Lord beckoned his most loyal servant forward.

"I have a task for you,' he held up a small flute of purple potion. "You must go to Knockturn Alley tomorrow and ensure that this ends up in Harry Potter's possession."

"Yes, master. What is it?"

Voldemort gave an uncharacteristic smirk.

"It is contact cleaning solution, that I have mixed with an eye-melting draught."

Bellatrix bowed again, then took the small glass of potion and left the chamber.

"As for you, Severus -

Alert the headmaster that I have killed all the house-elves owned by my death eaters, and make sure the boy overhearssssssss. Offer no explanation."

 

Meanwhile, Linkin Park's "Crawling" plays in the background.

 

Fuck you, I spotted that and purposely stayed quiet.

 

Plot Bunny: After Sirius falls through the Veil of Death, he finds himself bumping into Jessica Jones in the MCU.

While Sirius does not have his wand, he does have abilities that make him stand out. For example, his animagus form.

 

Plot Bunny: Harry Potter is a 22 year old, fresh out of police training. He starts investigating odd instances of things that can't be explained.

What does he do when he realises people, including himself are starting to develop magic?

 

Tells his boss then promptly gets placed in an insane asylum.

 

It all started I think, when Hermione got into another strop.

Draco had been surprisingly subtle during dinner when suggesting that Muggles were dirt eating idiots, not saying enough to be out and out objectionable, while speaking loudly enough to Nott that Hermione could easily hear but couldn’t complain without being rude and interrupting someone else’s conversation.

After we left the Great Hall she stormed into the common room, visibly shaking in anger, before dropping backwards onto a couch and growling in frustration. “That weaselly git needs to shut up. He has no idea what Muggles are capable of. He wasn’t taking Muggle Studies and probably hasn’t even been to the Muggle sections of London.”

“Calm down Hermione” said Ron. I think I may have visibly cringed a bit at Ron's stupidity as he continued. “I get what you mean, and Draco’s a git but it’s what people think, isn’t it? It’s not like Muggles can Apparate or Floo Call, so he can get away with saying that. You can’t argue with everyone.”

In the utter silence that followed, I stupidly tried to help. “Shut up Ron,” I said. “You really aren’t helping.”

Hermione pointed a finger at Ron. “You blithering idiot. You’re almost as bad as Draco. Your Dad is in charge of dealing with Muggle baiting and he has no clue even how to say the word electricity.” Then she turned to me. “And you. You’re supposed to be on my side.”

I held my hands up in surrender. “I know, I know, and I am. But look, we’re already getting stick from Umbridge. She’s not going to accept a public uprising of Muggleborns and Halfbloods asking for respect towards Muggles.”

“But that’s exactly the time we’re supposed to. Do you think that Rosa Parks had it easy when she refused to move to the back of the bus?”

At Ron and my blank looks she threw her hands up into the air.

“I’ve heard the name,” I hesitantly started, “and I know she had something to do with black people in America, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“This is my point Harry. You have no idea of history. You have no idea who Rosa Parks is, no idea of Amelia Earhart, or Isaac Newton, or Martin Luther King and ‘I have a dream’. You‘re British and probably haven’t heard of Churchill.”

Now some of those I had heard of. Hadn’t Isaac Newton invented the cat flap or something like that? And I remember something about Martin Luther King leading to the Church of England but I have no idea what dreams have to do with it. And of course I’d heard and seen the adverts to and from school with the nodding dog. I’m not an idiot.

Ron just shrugged. “Look, Hermione, that’s all fine but surely if we needed to know these things we’d not have a ghost for a teacher in History. History doesn’t really matter.”

Over Hermione’s shoulder I could see Angelina coming my way, probably to ask about whether I’d asked McGonagall again about getting back on the Quidditch team. As Hermione interrogated Ron about famous (to her) Muggle figures, Angelina came over next to me and tilted her head, raising an eyebrow towards Hermione. I whispered “Draco insulted Muggles” to her and she rolled her eyes and nodded.

Hermione noticed Angelina and turned to her. “Why does noone know the important events of the last thirty years? Who was the first man on the moon?”

Angelina clicked her fingers at that. “I know that one. We were learning about it the other day.”

As Hermione paused, looking hopeful, I could see her eyes fade in disappointment as Angelina thought out loud. “Was it Derrick, Dirk… Ah, that was it. Davros Wagglenose.”

As I mouthed ‘Wagglenose?’ to myself, Hermione clenched her hands in frustration. “No it wasn’t. It was Neil Armstrong. The Americans landed the first men on the moon in 1969 with the Apollo 11 mission. There was a famous quote: ‘One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.’”

“1969?” Angelina replied. “No, no. Davros was the first man on the moon in 1863.”

Hermione’s jaw dropped.

“Look, it’s great to be proud of your Muggle relatives and ancestors, but Muggles still haven’t caught up with us Wand users in a lot of ways. If you were doing NEWT level Astronomy you’d know. 6th year we travel to the deserts and mountans to get away from the light Muggles keep hiding the stars with before going to high up in the sky, and in 7th year you start travelling into space and going to the Moon.”

Hermione’s face was a picture. If only Colin was there to take it.

“Look, I’ve been to the Moon. It’s pretty cold, you need special Charms to keep breathing, and we avoid the places Muggles have landed, but it’s not that big a deal. It’s just too much hassle right now to go to other stars and really, why bother. Everyone we know is here and it’s just not worth it. I’ve heard from a couple of guest lecturers and it’s much the same at other stars. ”


-------------------

I've had this for a couple of years and have no motivation to go further. It would probably go into a crossover, I was thinking Mass Effect but just about any sci fi in space would work.

 

I've thought about how to make Bellatrix Lestrange more dangerous and feared.

What if she was transported to a world where Voldemort was never born?

She'd gain power, influence and eventually gather the first Death Eaters, beginning a war in a world that last knew conflict when Dumbledore fought Grindelwald.

Dumbledore would be way older than he was when he first dealt with Voldemort, and Bella would be aware of this, taking things slowly enough.

The story would however be told from that world's Harry. He was raised by James and Lily, knowing Sirius, Remus and Peter as friends.

In this world, the pureblood elite like Malfoys and Blacks don't have as much influence as in canon, so they'd jump on Bellatrix's offer to restore the "good old days".

 

I dunno. It's Bellatrix.

She'd have zero fucking chill day one and get herself locked up for eating someone's face.

 

Perhaps. But then again, it depends from what moment in the timeline we take her from.

Maybe she was more stable before her Azkaban days? Or, as stable as someone torturing the Longbottoms to insanity can be.

In any case, if not Belllatrix, who'd make good Dark Lord/Lady material in the other world?

 

Well abilty wise Snape would probably make the best replacement since he is the most powerful and intelligent Death Eater though he seems far to antisocial and lacking in charisma to gather followers. Lucius would probably be the most logical choice since he is not as irrational as Bellatrix.

But the most interesting choice imo would be a dark twist on Slughorn with the Slugclub being a recruiting ground for dark arts practitioners.

A Illuminati society trying to take over the goverment with placing elite members in positions of power using means like bribery, assassination, mind control and propanganda to discretely take over instead of outright war.

Slughorn seems far more appropriate for the genial old man who is trying to hide his twisted side than Dumbledore, not only is he one of the most capable wizards he also seems experienced with very dark magic, he after all told Riddle about Horcruxes.

Besides he is severly underused eventhough he is quite interesting.

 

Make it a World of Darkness xover. Wizarding world is maintaining the Gauntlet that keeps gribblies away from Earth in the deep space so they act really patronizing to Sleeper Muggles.

 

Well, in canon we were told that Dumbledore refused to have his duel with Grindelwald for a very long time until he virtually had no other choice but to do it. I always found it strange that no one seemed to have actually noticed that in canon, and therefore (and under the additional influence of Potter Law #1) I thought of the following idea:
Barnabas Cuffe's family died three days before Dumbledore defeated Grindelwald, and he still despises the headmaster for his postponing - especially seeing as he was given the 1st Order of Merlin afterwards. For years, this ambitious man looked for an opportunity to make Dumbledore pay for his inaction, and after the events at Godric's Hollow, he thinks he's found it. Cuffe takes Harry away from the Dursleys and raises him as his son, making sure the boy distrusts Dumbledore and is as capable a wizard as possible.
When Harry arrives at Hogwarts, he's almost obsessively learning as much about magic as he can and desires to prove himself constantly.

The goal with this fic would basically be to spin canon in a different direction (for example, I'd have Quirrell spreading word of Voldemort's continued existence and him being still far from inconspicuous), have an exceptionally competent, not overpowered Harry to back it up and have some more political opposition for Dumbledore in the early years while wholly avoiding Dumbledore bashing.

 

Slughorn is most interesting adult in HP, tbh. The difficulty - overwhelmingly so - is writing him without becoming either utterly amoral and oppurtunistic or comic relief.

Rag Rowling all u liek about Harry being lazy, or chest monster, or whatever- she hit a fucking grandslam when she wrote Slughorn.

I actually like book six - inorite - simply because Slughorn and Romilda are such win. Best "characters of the book" in the entire series.

 

so i was browsing the h/f community thread and whilst i dont think i could do any sort of such pairing any justice, one of the plot bunnies from there sorta stood out to me. basically:

• Harry runs afoul of the Basilisk in year 2 and gets petrified.
- through a series of unfortunate events, he (and possibly the other victims) never got fixed.

reasons why:
• petrified people will "keep". they dont require any resources beyond storage
• wizarding world's stock of mandrake roots got destroyed/sabotaged somehow so an immediate cure was out of the solution somehow

for 2 to happen this makes me think:
• Ginny is ded. liek, so ded. her soul got eaten by the Diary and Tom Riddle Jr is at large, like he killed the chickens he probably killed Prof. Sprout's stock of mandrakes.
• Chamber of Secrets is never resolved, basilisk back into hibernation.
• Dumbledore probably remains fired as headmaster and suffered some loss of prestige elsewhere. either he loses many of his titles or clings to certain ones (Chief Warlock?) all the more tightly
- without Dumbledore in charge nobody else can gain traction to cure the half/mudblooded victims and theyre left there
- having Harry as an immortal(ish) icon works so much better than having a living, breathing person

so!... what does this result in? obviously harry wakes up at some point but this is where i start getting brainfarts.
• why/how did he get cured?
• who is still around?
- weasley clan, broken but unbent? completely shattered and scattered?
- hermione unless she was never cured either because reasons (HHr)/ hermione cured early also because reasons and paired with X

• did (some of) the rest of canon still happen?
- Sirius breaks out because he saw pettigrew, but without harry he ded. liek so ded.
- TriWizard cup happens as a morale booster, but goes off without a hitch cuz no nefarious plotting (insert future Fleur into plot. Fleur/Bill, Harry/Gabrielle, Harry/Victoire? )

• Voldemort still rises somehow, but this time he and Tom Riddle start duking it out in the background
--Voldy/Tom/Dumbly melee a trois in the background while the Ministry keeps waving its hands (nothing to see here, everything is fine)

• Dumbledore dies, somebody else realises... hey, maybe we should make use of that icon we've got?
• Dumbledore doesn't die, finally regains enough prestige to push for revival and was able to confirm the horcruxes in the meantime

• does harry even go back to school? keep in mind he's only had a year and a half (give or take a few months) of actual wizarding education/exposure. would he even WANT to?
• who is even around?
- Hermione being around might lead to school. only familiar face, she's desperate not to let this set her back in witchiness
- OC!standins for the epilogue crew (assume Hermione got out early... somehow, so Rose, Teddy, Victoire, whomever)
- pure OCs (hissss hissssssss)

anyhow like i said. lots of little ideas, no real plot. thoughts? only thing to keep in mind is presumably no super/indy!harry, since he's.... halfway into second year. he barely knows expelliarmus at this point.