I got a couple of gems, this one was literally made for this thread,

And the more recent,

Is that a good hmmm or a bad one? Ambivalent, sarcastic, condescending, patronizing? God its so hard to convey/interpret tone over the internet.

 

This guy has done it 104 times so far:

https://www.google.com/search?q="th...nd+stupidity+screw+over+nearly+every+single+"

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk.

 

Like, why?

 

This guy needs to get a life. I mean posting it to irrelevant stories two or three times for a lark is one thing, but 104!? Even an immature jerk like me wouldn't find it funny or worth the effort to do it that many times.

 

Not my from my story, but some person's review on A Black Comedy

The whole story went over this readers head.

 

Meh.

I don't know about self-indulgent, but it's pretty hard to argue that ABC is not sophomoric. I find good sophomoric humor to be a blast, but I recognize it for what it is.

And really, as good as ABC is, it's also pretty hard to read it and not at least get a small twinge on the "wait, what?" meter when you have things like Harry and Sirius Obliviating those Muggle triplets and being like, "well, as long as we're going to Memory Charm them..." They're written mostly on the "lovable rogue" part of the spectrum, but a few times they do wander pretty close to the edge.

I think ABC's a great time and super funny, but I don't really think that reviewer completely whiffed on grasping the story. It's a sophomoric romp with tons of dick jokes. I find it funny, a lot of people here find it funny, but it's pretty obviously not going to be to everyone's taste.

 

Yes, the review is right in saying that the author does marginalize the importance of women in the story, but this is all due to context. One wouldn't go to a show like Colbert for accurate news, just as one doesn't go to a textbook for entertainment. ABC is a fanfiction comedy. The fact that the reader was looking for a complex, deep thinking take on gender roles in society shows that they are a bit disillusioned with what the story was supposed to be - unfiltered fun.

 

Newcomb has the right of it. A Black Comedy is fun, but you really have to be in the right mood for juvenile humour otherwise the story can grate in some places. Remember, humour is subjective. What you find funny might be a snooze to somebody else.

That and as far as reviews go, it doesn't rate anywhere near "worst." Even nonjon called ABC the raging boner of dick jokes.

 

"Guest" haetz "What Would Broz Do" ;-;

 

Some people just seem to have never gotten off the Ron-bashing shit-train.

 

My worst review wasn't "bad" in the traditional sense so much as it was a 500ish word dissertation complaining about Harry's height. Behold!

Written by a person named 'Murg' (who is either an anon who picked that name for reviewing purposes or someone who long since ditched FFn)

It's a weird thing to nitpick. In context, this review is from a chapter in which my AU Peggy Sue!Harry was inspecting his 'new' body, noting that it's more athletic than he was at fourteen with a brief aside about his height. I won't lie and say that Daniel Radcliffe hasn't influenced how I picture HP in my own head, but this particular reviewer choosing to pick this particular issue vexed me for a long time. What is it with some readers and their hard-on about a super tall Harry? Like the world is going to end if he isn't 6'4" (keep in mind, the poor kid is freaking fourteen in my fic and is clearly not done growing).

End rant. Sorry about that.

 

The same way Hermione isn't casually hot and Ron isn't a comedy relief, Harry Potter isn't a small fucking person. It's people's pet peeve, because short Harry is a door to bad writing.

It starts with short Harry Potter, continues with the reason being malnutrition and ends with 'Fuck Ron, H+Hr = Tru Luv'.

 

Harry is not short. He is average or even above average in height. I think it mostly comes up because probably half the FF writers have never read the book and they assumed that Daniel Radcliffe's height is what the actual character should be which is not the case.

 

There are people that genuinely only read this.

 

Yep. It wouldn't exist if people didn't like it.

Anyways, behold:

This was a review of For Love of Magic. No criticism, no commendation. Just this.

 

As reviews go, not so good, but at least it's true.

Me, I prefer ¨Lobsters don't give money to charity. They are shellfish.¨

 

Recent review for Wastelands:



Totally uncalled for.

After living on a tropical island and years in the Australian sun, I'm more of a tempting toffee colour.

 

Yo, why so serious? Maybe this reviewer is a closet racist and he found a way to come out and praise your work at the same time?

 

Out of curiousity, I looked up her appearances in the books. According to the wiki, she's mentioned once during the Sorting in PS, and then a couple of times on Pottermore. That's literally it.