Try putting forth a bit more effort in judging this piece of literature. Give some examples of why you don't like it and perhaps tell us what it is you smoke that gives you the impression that My Immortal is so much better than this fic.

If nothing else this guy does know how to write well even if he does pick topics that some people on DLP disagree with.

 

Ok fine, it may have been a gross exaggeration on my part to say that My Immortal was better but there's just something about this story that rubs me the wrong way.

I'm a grammar and spelling Nazi and when you get McGonagall wrong in the first chapter that's just a red flag to me.

Then there's the runes and their side effects which he ( Harry) didn't plan for because in my opinion if he's smart enough to think of runic enhancements then he should have thought of the negatives as well.

Hermione and Dobby's death are another annoyance because after Harry they're my favorite characters.

Luna watching her parents having anal sex and talking about it in the Great Hall and also being weirder than in canon.

These are just some of the things that annoy me in this fic.

 

Intelligence doesn't quite mean immunity to bad decisions or mistakes. If anything, that's one of the best parts of the fic, how his wacky antics come back to bite him in the ass. A shame all that got dismissed so quickly, though.

 

Ah yes, For Love of Magic how you disappointed me. I came in, recommended this fic, thinking it would be about Harry taking cues from Muggles when going about his magic, but instead I got harem antics and a OP protagonist. It was this fic that helped drive me to write my own where Harry goes muggle fantasy instead of the 'real' way wizards go, if only to see it done right.

In the begnning, I had hope: Harry is in an enviroment that could introduce him to fantasy magics, Harry knows about magics, etc. And then he goes and F-ed up. Now filled with testosterone, he goes and bangs our beloved Tonks. Then it goes down hill fast. Politics, Over Poweredness, Manipulative Dumbledore, dead Hermione (which I comepletely forgot about) and a Harry whos morals are messed up in the worst ways ("Oh no, I am basically manipulating Tonks to love me!? Eh, I best give this skin-walker what he wants (can't remember, but sure it was a woman... or something equally bad?), because what he does to people I don't care about isn't my business.").

2/5 or 2.5/5. Could have been great, but tainted by lemons and harems and generally bad things.

 

Update.

I'm happy that something has finally gone wrong for Harry.

 

He needed to be knocked down a peg or two. I think this is the first real failure he has ever experienced, all of his other "failures" can be said to have been actually beneficial to him in some ways (like the runes). I'm glad something bad actually happened and it really can't be spinned into a positive.

 

What was the failure? I've fallen behind a few chapters.

 

Eh.

Spoiler

It's hard to be a failure when he doesn't care about what he's lost and he still defeats Imhotep and wins the Lich text

 

last ch was meh.

Spoiler

It seems Harry only care for two things, power and where he stick his dick, as long he advance on those two fronts, or at least doesn't suffer a set back, he doesn't care. He didn't care about Sirius death, although the author made Sirius dumb, useless and just failed comedic relief, feeling if Sirius truly shined he might cast a shadow on his Alpha (Harry)

 

I'll give this author one thing he's good at making Harry unlikable and dark.


On the other side of it I think this author is using his "Harry" as a SI and sometimes it reminds me a bit to much of Kenchi's writing.

 

The author has said that he consider Harry a "fair reflection of himself" - it's obviously a SI. Well, the attitude and beliefs are his, I doubt he's a sex god irl.

I wonder if Harry is actually insane or he was just trolling with Dark Souls references in that monologue scene. Meh.

Spoiler

Somebody had to die. Sirius was clearly the most expendable. I expect one or all of his girls die in the end, too - but Harry will resurrect them after he becomes he uberwizard.

 

If that is the case (Harry is SI) I pity anyone who comes in touch with him in rl.
He got severe issues, and psychotic tendencies

 

And then Harry, Naruto and Xanna will ride off into the sunset (another dimension) and live happily ever after.

 

Alright, I'm going to posit that Luna will be the first to die. It seems most fitting, she acts as probably his closest link to humanity and hopefully her death will spurn him into really going off the deep end and get the plot rolling.

On another note I re-read the latest chapter and was really let down by the end. I think it would've been fan-fuckingtastic if Imhotep defeated them and they had to retreat. Having a 4500 year old horcrux controlled lich (tautology?) take a walk down Cairo and blast open the statute of secrecy would've really kicked the plot along in a more interesting direction.

It would undoubtedly be an improvement over more sex or religious rant.

 

I guess I'll add my two cents and predict that Fleur will die. From earlier chapters I think it's been hinted a while back that the Vampires really want her to die.

 

This story started out decent, but since the end of fourth year it has been little other than smut with a thinly vailed plot. Harry has become so overpowered that all conflict is solved just about as quickly as it is introduced. The only things that can possibly redeem the story at this point is the author cutting down on the smut and resurrecting Voldemort, though I doubt even he would put up much of a challenge for Harry unless he too is overpowered to all hell. Also, “his girls” are not opposed to the Mengelesque experiments Harry is seen to conduct in the last chapter. Apart from going against character traits established earlier in the story, this subplot is just creepy in all the wrong ways.

All in all, I give this a 2/5.

 

The bit I enjoyed most was the fact this zombie priests just happens to be a potter as well.

 

Wow, he should change his name to Harry Preacher. What an anoying bastard.
The story started good, like 3/3.5, but now it's just a gulty pleasure. And a very bad one at that, I find myself jumping a lot of stuff I don't want to read.

I bet 10 Galleons(?) to Fleur and Luna dying.