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Dead Link Born by Viperflamer - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by cmuylistoooo, Jan 23, 2007.

  1. cmuylistoooo

    cmuylistoooo Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2005
    Messages:
    116
    Title: Born
    Author: Viperflamer
    Genre: Action/Adventure/General
    DLP category: General
    Summary: Harry's sister is the prophesized child, and Harry is scared
    for her. Her future will be filled with terror and death, and Harry will
    do all he can to protect her. He will protect his sister, no matter
    what powers he has to call upon. NO SLASH. Enjoy
    Pairings: undecided
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3353908/2/

    this author is normally a naruto fanfic author. He said he wanted to try writing hp fanfics. this is going to be a super harry fic where harry is extremely protective of his sister. he also likes big potter family stories. he points out his grammar sucks already. the story as a whole is enjoyable and cliche.


    Checked by Minion, August 12, 2013
    Dead link is dead. If you know where to find another copy of the story, please inform the library staff.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2013
  2. TheIllusiveOne

    TheIllusiveOne Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2005
    Messages:
    624
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Reminds me of Lightining on the Wave's series, and unfortunately has the same problems. Lame characterization of Harry, the random thoughts Harry seems to have, flip flopping personalities, etc. 2/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2007
  3. Shezza

    Shezza Renegade 4 Life DLP Supporter

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    Personally, I'm all for it. It's a "Sister-who-lived" without the constant abuse that always appears in these types of stories. That means that Snape or Malfoy probably won't become the angels and saviours of the story.


    5/5
     
  4. Brooklynight

    Brooklynight Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2006
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    New York
    I didn't like it. I agree with The Illusive One illusive one that its reminiscent of Saving Conner. The author has a problem with speaking to the audience too much instead of showing the personalities of her characters through their actions. The fic scores points for Harry actually not being the boy who lived but loses them equally fast for having the Rose and Prongslette cliche. Its interesting but 2/5.
     
  5. calutron

    calutron Unspeakable

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2007
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    745
    It has bad writing, but doe'nt have saviour malfoy so (3/5).
     
  6. Swimdraconian

    Swimdraconian Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I can't read this without having flashbacks to Saving Connor. 2/5
     
  7. Nuhuh

    Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Admin Retired Staff

    Joined:
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    Location:
    USA
    The writing is not great and I'm not referring to grammar and mechanics here. It is a bit overly adverb happy, choice of diction and phrasing style is a little off; enough so that you notice it.

    Story-wise I haven't seen too many twin stories without run away abusive parents so this gets a plus for that. Characterizations of side characters are average, and not much can be said about the main ones. The twin isn't annoying which is different from most twin fics. I get the vibe that it will be a fairly happy story, don't know if the author will be able to pull it off as a good one. S/He claims they know how to write a Super! Harry character, so I'll go back and see what is delivered on that.

    All in all average. 3/5
     
  8. Raijin

    Raijin Slug Club Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2006
    Messages:
    198
    Eh liked it. Havn't even got half way through the first year of Saving Conor so I don't get any flashbacks at all. I fully approve just because the boy/girl who lived thing is done somewhat reasonably. Though the super Harry....
    Meh 4.5/5
     
  9. japanese_jew

    japanese_jew High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Dec 7, 2006
    Messages:
    598
    This could be worse. It's no worse than the backlash after PoT, with the PoT copy-offs. I'm going to reserve my judgment, but from now, given that it uses an old plotline, but goes against the common cliches believably, avoiding all of the inevitable angst, and isn't that poorly written, I think I'd give it a 4/5.
     
  10. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    I was actually just about to post this. I quite enjoy it, i'm used to reading tense stories, but this seems more relaxed then usual. After a efw more chapoters, if it's still going good I'll probably invite Viper if he doesn't join by then.
     
  11. cmuylistoooo

    cmuylistoooo Fourth Year

    Joined:
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    the third chapter is up. ollivander and dumbledore were introduced. in the author note he says just because he introduced herm does not mean she is a pairing. harry has a shikamaru, from naruto, like feel.
     
  12. Lord Osiris

    Lord Osiris Auror

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2005
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    679
    Location:
    The land down under
    Hmm well i admit that it was mildly entertaining, bit short at the moment but hopefully the updates are going to be regular. I felt that it's going to go along as Harry showing reckless abandon when it comes to the safety of his sister despite him being labled as a genius?

    3.5/5 at the moment, maybe it'll change with the times and the way he is going to write the first year.
     
  13. Raijin

    Raijin Slug Club Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2006
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    198
    With the addition of Hermione and Ron, Ron being close to the same manner as in the first book, anyone starting to have a bad feeling? If the bad feeling is correct I'm lowering my score to a three.
     
  14. cmuylistoooo

    cmuylistoooo Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2005
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    116
    it was updated today....harry is going to be somewhat antisocial, ron and hermy will be rose's friends mainly.

    both of them were put into gryffindor.
     
  15. Raijin

    Raijin Slug Club Member

    Joined:
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    Does anyone get his reasoning for Gryffindor? Because I can't see how putting him there because of its ease is good.
     
  16. Jon

    Jon The Demon Mayor Admin DLP Supporter

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    ..He has made Harry into a 2d character, it is probably because he hasn't got a very ambiguous way to go on the train, but hopefully it'll change soon.

    Jon
     
  17. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    I'll read this if it becomes Harry/Rose.

    ...

    What?
     
  18. C.S.Kaniel

    C.S.Kaniel Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2006
    Messages:
    125
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Eh. I like it enough to wanna see where it's going, and the writing style isn't anything to be bugged about after you read stuff by silveraegis.

    3 or 4 out of 5.

    Edit: The link sends you to chapter 2 and not chapter 1, so...

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3353908/1/
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2007
  19. TripticWriter

    TripticWriter Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2006
    Messages:
    326
    Location:
    France
    Well i think it is obvious, it is easier for him to protect his sister if he as the same timetable and if the space between same is smaller.

    Nothing great with this story so far, the plot is nice but i found that all the "yawning" piss me of.

    3/5
     
  20. huntedorange

    huntedorange Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2006
    Messages:
    273
    Location:
    Highlands
    I agree that there was pretty much no reason for him to be put in Gryffindor, in fact no reason at all. I can take the point that he could protect his sister better but i mean come on is he going to stalk her the whole time and not even leave her alone to go to the toilet. He def should of went in another house, it would of given the story alot more credibility for me.