DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Competition topic: Magical New Year!

Marathon goal? Crank out words!

Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.
Dismiss Notice
Hi there, Guest
Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
Dismiss Notice
Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

New Thread Thursday
+
Shit Post Sunday

READ ME
Dismiss Notice

DLP Story Competition Guest User Registration Nag SPS + NTT

Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Arthellion, Dec 2, 2019.

: 5/5, 3 votes

Page 1 of 110

Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Messages:

1,438

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Dec 2, 2019 #1

Starting a new funny pic thread. 46 pages at 100 post per page is large enough, lets get some fresh humor going.

OLD THREAD HERE

Zombie

Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2019

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

Feoffic, Quiddity, Ash'Ura, Rhaegar I, Unknown, Kraken, Inert, Download, H_A_Greene, excalibur421, sonder, VanRopen, Utsane, Shouldabeenadog, oakgem217, Blorcyn, The Iron Rose, Andrela
Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

Messages:

9,027

Location:

Baile Átha Cliath

Dec 2, 2019 #2

Biden campaign doing well.

I don't even like looking at men unless I have to in a business context.

Utsane, oakgem217, Majube
Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

Messages:

6,036

Dec 2, 2019 #3

Magnum said: ↑

How did a cruel bully like you become a mod?
Click to expand...

Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA) (FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN) (WBA) | Desiccation(FFN) | Upside Down (FFN) | Food Related (Ask a Chef)
Wanna Sprint? Join Us, Rules Here.

Work By Author Rules Here, Review Board Rules Here

Phantom of the Library, FlyingOctopus, Ash'Ura, pbluekan, Rhaegar I, Unknown, Kraken, Xiph0, oakgem217, Inert, Zerg_Lurker, Download, H_A_Greene, VanRopen, Kravot, ScottPress, Blorcyn, Utsane
startrekfan Second Year

Messages:

79

Location:

Wouldn't you like to know...

Dec 2, 2019 #4

Ash'Ura, Rhaegar I, Unknown, Kraken, oakgem217, Inert, H_A_Greene, ScottPress, Blorcyn, Longsword
Galen DA Member

Messages:

159

Dec 2, 2019 #5

Not the best, but some darker ones

Ash'Ura, oakgem217
Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

Messages:

6,036

Dec 2, 2019 #6

Magnum said: ↑

How did a cruel bully like you become a mod?
Click to expand...

Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA) (FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN) (WBA) | Desiccation(FFN) | Upside Down (FFN) | Food Related (Ask a Chef)
Wanna Sprint? Join Us, Rules Here.

Work By Author Rules Here, Review Board Rules Here

Ash'Ura, Unknown, oakgem217, Inert, Majube, 9th Doctor
Cjonbloodletter Professor

Messages:

472

Location:

In Lord Jabu Jabu

Dec 2, 2019 #7

"It all averages out, shit happens two to three times a week, ordinary people do it in the median." Tim Dorsey, "Orange Crush"

Phantom of the Library, Raiko, Ash'Ura, Longsword, Rhaegar I, Unknown, Kraken, Xiph0, oakgem217, Mutton, Blorcyn, Inert, Kravot, Zerg_Lurker, ScottPress, MonkeyEpoxy, DarthBill, Agayek
Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Messages:

1,438

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Dec 2, 2019 #8

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

Quiddity, Ash'Ura, Longsword, Rhaegar I, Kraken, Chadrew, oakgem217, Majube, The Iron Rose, ScottPress, H_A_Greene, Agayek
H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

Messages:

716

High Score:

4,492

Dec 2, 2019 #9

Ash'Ura, Longsword, Ched, Rhaegar I, Kraken, R. E. Lee, Selethe, Utsane, oakgem217, kelkorkesis, VanRopen, ScottPress
Thaumologist DA Member ~ Prestige ~

Messages:

156

Location:

Wrexham, Wales

High Score:

2000

Dec 3, 2019 #10

Don't you just love that new thread smell?

Drachna, Acquiescing Avian, Jibril, The Arid Legion, Phantom of the Library, Chengar Qordath, BlackDuke, Quiddity, Ash'Ura, Longsword, Ched, kelkorkesis, Kraken, ScottPress, Mister Ferro, Oruma, MonkeyEpoxy, oakgem217, The Iron Rose, sonder, H_A_Greene, Agayek, Utsane, Kravot
Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

Messages:

199

High Score:

2020

Dec 3, 2019 #11

Menace said: ↑

"Be my friend, motherfucker!" Naruto howled, slamming the rasengan into Gaara's face.
Click to expand...

Owimbowé, Ash'Ura, Longsword, Ched, pbluekan, Rhaegar I, Kraken, ScottPress, DarthBill, Download, H_A_Greene, oakgem217, Kravot, Utsane, The Iron Rose, sonder, Blorcyn
Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐

Messages:

6,036

Dec 3, 2019 #12

Magnum said: ↑

How did a cruel bully like you become a mod?
Click to expand...

Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA) (FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN) (WBA) | Desiccation(FFN) | Upside Down (FFN) | Food Related (Ask a Chef)
Wanna Sprint? Join Us, Rules Here.

Work By Author Rules Here, Review Board Rules Here

Phantom of the Library, James, Quiddity, Ash'Ura, Ched, Genghiz Khan, Rhaegar I, Unknown, Kravot, Kraken, Blorcyn, Inert, ScottPress, DarthBill, VanRopen, Download, H_A_Greene, Oment, oakgem217, Utsane
Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Messages:

1,438

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Dec 4, 2019 #13

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

oakgem217, Ash'Ura, Krieger
Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

Messages:

1,555

Location:

Georgia

Dec 4, 2019 #14

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

Cxjenious, Kraken, James, Quiddity, oakgem217, Ash'Ura, Longsword, Rhaegar I, Zerg_Lurker, Thaumologist, Majube, DarthBill
H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

Messages:

716

High Score:

4,492

Dec 4, 2019 #15

The Arid Legion, Kraken, oakgem217, Ash'Ura, Longsword, Rhaegar I, Zerg_Lurker, Arthellion
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

Messages:

485

Location:

Holy Terra

Dec 5, 2019 #16

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

The Arid Legion, Xiph0, Mister Ferro, oakgem217, Ash'Ura, Utsane, R. E. Lee, Silirt, Download, Agayek
Conquistador High Inquisitor

Messages:

544

Location:

At Peace

High Score:

0

Dec 5, 2019 #17

Apparently Scott got through to Salsa before anyone else.

DR, KHAAAAAAAN!!, Phantom of the Library, Kraken, Erotic Adventures of S, Plotless, Majube, Quiddity, pbluekan, The Iron Rose, Mishie, Nazgoose, Utsane, Longsword
The Iron Rose Chief Warlock

Messages:

1,439

Location:

Toronto

Dec 5, 2019 #18

I'm just baffled at the idea that more guns would improve the situation in Hong Kong.

Plotless, Mishie, Utsane
TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Messages:

1,103

Location:

Australia.

High Score:

3694

Dec 5, 2019 #19

But you see then the protestors could fight back against the state.

Have Australian citizenship, will sham marriage for $$$.

Captain Westeros - MCU/ASoIaF
One man with a shield makes his impact on Planetos. A leviathan task, but Steve Rogers is used to challenges.

THORHAMMER - MCU/Warhammer Fantasy
Thor Odinson is accustomed to landing in strange new worlds. To others, a shocking change. To him? A Thorsday.

Rise - Fable
Orphan boy to Hero of Albion. Cruelty begets vengeance; from struggle comes strength. The Archon's bloodline still has power.

I have a Patreon. Join to read my original short stories and get a vote in what I write each week.

Utsane
Longsword Banned

Messages:

558

Dec 5, 2019 #20

The Iron Rose said: ↑

I'm just baffled at the idea that more guns would improve the situation in Hong Kong.
Click to expand...

The guys with the guns already control the place.
Thankfully they are still in the barracks.

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

Page 1 of 110

Loading...

Similar Threads

Make Pictures Funny Again

Jon, Jan 23, 2017, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

4,555

Views:

869,080

Zombie

Dec 2, 2019
Official funny pics 4 teh win.

Oz, Aug 20, 2013, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

4,447

Views:

1,141,169

Jon

Jan 23, 2017
Official Funny Pics Part 3

Oz, Feb 18, 2012, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

2,998

Views:

915,846

Oz

Aug 20, 2013
Official Video Clips Thread

Oz, Oct 13, 2011, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

1,311

Views:

325,053

MonkeyEpoxy

Feb 9, 2025
Official Funny Pics Part 2

Antivash, Jun 2, 2011, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

1,998

Views:

673,904

Oz

Feb 18, 2012

DLP

Search