Author: Ilaqidesh
Rating: M
Genre: Space opera
Status: WIP, updating once/twice a month
Library Category: Other Fandoms, Star Wars
Pairings: N/A
Summary: Veridia seethes and Calth burns.

Obroa-Skai falls and the Inner Rim is breached.

Two galaxies teeter on precipices that grow ever more treacherous. Luke Skywalker leads his New Jedi Order into an uncertain future, facing questions he had never considered and foes more alien than before. The New Republic grapples with the responsibility and the mantle it has taken up. The Imperium is struck alight by the flames of treachery, driven by all-too-human vices and sins.

Translating into the immaterium at the bowshock of the Ruinstorm, the ragged survivors of Calth are cast adrift in the warp to shores unknown. The New Republic braces for the next waves of violence as the Yuuzhan Vong continue their march. The board is set. The pieces begin to move.

A blend of Heresy-era Warhammer and New Jedi Order era Star Wars. Not a versus! Heavily character driven narrative, embracing the incredible cast of the Star Wars EU and Warhammer universe.

Link: SpaceBattles





It is almost grudgingly that I present this for review. This fic irritates me and scratches me in various ways, some minor, some actually worth mentioning. But at the same time, it's one of the most impressive presentations of the Star Wars universe, to say nothing of the way the 40K aspect is handled. So, despite my misgivings and the ways I wish this fic was better, it would be remiss of me not to help spread this. So here we are.

This story is very beginner-friendly for both verses and does not assume a lot of pre-existing knowledge.

"What is this?" The New Jedi Order (and its various subtitles on each of its 'books') is a crossover between Star Wars and Warhammer 40K*, set in the Star Wars Galaxy entirely. I say 40k, but it's technically 30k, as the premise is that Guilliman and a few of his ships that survived the Betrayal at Calth find their way through Warp shenanigans into the Star Wars universe. I also say Star Wars, but to be exact it's set during the Yuuzhan Vong War in the SW expanded universe.

This is genius. It neatly sidesteps the 'but who would win' schoolyard argument (it's 40k no diff btw) aspect of the two fandoms by inserting only a small (relatively) force from 40K into Star Wars. Not the whole Imperium, not a whole system, not a whole faction, not even a whole legion/fleet/chapter. Merely the ragged and heavily attrited and damaged remnants of a handful of ships and a couple thousand Space Marines and assorted elements.

This lets the author truly flex the ridiculousness of 40K without breaking his story or devaluing what Star Wars has in strength of arms. 40K is overpowered in the individual scale, but they don't have the numbers to throw their weight around and their assets are truly irreplaceable and dwindling. Moreover, they find themselves outmatched sometimes when the enemy observes them and comes up with countermeasures, and also face the very real problem of their main means of galactic travel being fuckered in the SW galaxy. So yes, they're ridiculous, but they don't steamroll anything. Their victories are more often than not pyrrhic and bloody.
This is smart, but the author does often overcorrect.

The choice of the 40K elements being Ultramarines as well was smart. They have a lot of notable characters in 30k and they serve very well as exemplars of the Imperium of Man, where other, more spectacular legions might be more interesting but less indicative. More niche.

"But I don't know anything about 40K." That's fine. This is primarily a Star Wars story, with star wars protagonists set in the star wars universe. The author clearly, obviously, really enjoys 40K and knows a lot about it, but this story is about Star Wars and his favoritism towards it is evident.
The 40K (30K) elements are explained as they are introduced or delved into and while the story starts by focusing mostly on the 40K force now stranded in the SW galaxy, over time they drift out of focus and the scope widens to take in the whole galaxy and the progress of the war.

"In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war."

"But I don't know anything about the Yuuzhan Vong era of SW". That's fine. I didn't, either. I've never laid one eyeball on any official content that included them. But the Yuuzhan Vong, and the overall galactic war, are introduced bit by bit, slowly at first, and eventually become major parts of the regular updates, be it through fighting or even the occasional POV chapter.
Do you know who Luke Skywalker is? You know who Leia Organa is? Ever heard of the New Republic? That's all you need. And even if you haven't, you'll be competently introduced to them.
Everyone and everything else introduces themselves in due time. Obviously, those already familiar with the property can go 'OOH it's the guy!' a lot more often, but no one will miss out much by lacking exposure to the original content.

So let's talk about some pros and cons without spoilers.

Pros:

Spoiler

Writing skill.
This is the primary reason I want to share this story, despite my many misgivings about it. The author is very talented not just with prose but also with planning and character voices. Even if I don't like the direction he's going in, the what of what he's writing, the how is well-worth a read for. Very unlikely to find typos, runaway sentences or random nonsense. Characters have distinct voices and stay consistent. Long arcs are maintained and respected, etc.

Tone.
Perhaps most impressively, the author managed to match the tone to the circumstance in very sneaky ways. 40K segments feel like 40K, and Star Wars segments feel like Star Wars. This isn't universal, and it doesn't work when the two tones directly intersect and clash (the Star Wars tone wins out in those instances). But on the whole, this is managed impressively well.

Overarching plot.
This story is clearly well-planned and has a clear vision that we are seeing unfold at a decent pace.

Pacing.
Tied to the above, the pacing is at best excellent and at worst competent. Things happen, the war actively progresses, the lines change, and politics advance. Characters grow and learn. Time passes.

Multiple POV characters.
The story follows many different characters. Some from the Ultramarines (oh yeah, the 40K segment are Ultramarines), many from the Solo family, some from other New Republic personnel, and even some from the Yuuzhan Vong. The characters are given depth and love and attention, and are given their own goals, arcs, and stories to go through, and they often intersect. This lets you observe the happenings of the galaxy from different perspectives and follow different theaters without one person jumping around all the time.
It also helps make sure this doesn't feel like any one person's story. There's an ensemble cast.

Competent Villains.
This perhaps shocked me the most. I knew nothing about the Vong going in, and wasn't particularly interested in them either. I had no particular expectations.
Competent villains are a hallmark of a good writer who respects his story and wants the victories (if they come) to matter and be earned, but this goes beyond that. The author clearly loves the lore around the Vong and is going to great lengths to present their culture, point of view and motivations, even going as far as having POV characters of them.
The Yuuzhan Vong are not thoughtless grunts whose only purpose is to be vaguely threatening and be smashed by our heroes. They have their own culture, they are led by competent, capable leaders, they learn and adapt. When they lose, they examine why and do better next time. When one approach doesn't work, they tackle the issue from a different angle.

The author didn't need to do this. It's refreshing, and it goes to show how deep their knowledge and love of the Star Wars expanded universe and the media surrounding the Vong War era goes.

Characterization.
Each character feels truly unique. I can't speak as to the accuracy of the Solo children to the source material, but in this story at least they all have distinct personalities and go through their own trials, tribulations and changes over time. Same for all the other characters. There about a dozen or so primary characters and another couple dozen secondary ones, each of which has their own part to say and stay true to themselves. The author is not afraid to set characters to clash and exchange personal views.
This isn't universally effective, but for the most is done competently.

And now for some

Cons:

Spoiler

This list will be shorter, and the issues will range from genuine nitpicks to not that important.

Tonal clash.
This is inevitable to anyone who understands 40K and Star Wars. 40K is deliberately grimdark (having, in fact, coined the term) often ranging into grimderp. This is not just a meta thing; it's a literal part of the cosmology. Things in the 40k universe are fucked. Some golden dude is trying to unfuck them, sort of, but his way to do so also includes multiple genocides and tyranny, so ymmv. But 40K is a tale of barely hanging on, survival by the skin of our teeth, one-minute-away-from-midnight kind of story where brutality is not a needless act of barbarity; it is a necessity for human survival.
Star Wars is not like that. In Star Wars good and evil are not simply moral concepts but actual tangible forces, and there is a larger-than-life, unexplainable but also undeniable final arbiter of life and morality in the form of the Force. Star Wars has fate, destiny and good for goodness' sake as real universal forces, and their pursuit is rewarded. Not so with 40K.

The Imperium is described in 40K media as 'the worst regime imaginable' for good reason. Now, granted, the Ultramarines, and especially 30k-era, Great Crusade Ultramarines, are not like that. They are very far apart from the Imperium of 40K (10 thousand years apart, in fact) in many ways. The Ultramarines are not wasteful, they are not inefficient, they do not spend human lives cheaply and they are not barbaric or unnecessarily cruel.
But they are still space marines. They are still part of the Great Crusade that set out to unite the galaxy (and succeeded) under the aegis of humanity, for humanity. They have learned from mankind's painful history and also their own experiences of centuries of war not to trust the xeno, the alien.
This thought process has no place in the Star Wars galaxy. The author is very aware of that, and they respond competently enough to it. This is an immediately spotted problem in-universe by both parties; the Ultramarines and the New Republic.
The Ultramarines plan around it, the New Republic works around it, it drives the plot forward in certain ways, that part is handled well and works well.

The problem comes from the clash. I will not go as far as to say this is a fix-it. It's not. It might turn out to be (some indicators are there) but it isn't yet. But the author has a very clear stance on which of the two verses is right and which is not. I really enjoy all the philosophical back and forth between characters that all do their In-Character best to present their viewpoints, but I have noticed that the author himself seems to believe the Star Wars people are fundamentally correct.

This is a problem, because they aren't. Well, they sort of are, but also aren't. The beliefs of the Star Wars characters work for their galaxy and their universe, but they could not survive in the Milky Way Galaxy from 40K.
The Imperium and the Ultramarines have very good, solid reasons for being the way they are. None of these are competently disputed. Over time and many conversations, the throughline seems to be come 'You're wrong, actually. You just are'.

40K characters have calm conversations where both sides of an argument are presented, they usually make the better case (proving that the author clearly understands 40K nuance well enough) but are then made to concede and change, regardless, even though they haven't heard anything actually convincing or profound.

Is this a make or break? Not really. Hell, you might even agree with it. It might not be an issue for you at all. But it is an issue for me, because though the author has skillfully avoided the 'Who would win in a Pew Pew Boom-Boom contest' they seem to have stumbled right into "Well Imperium bad for no reason actually" type of contest. Which is a shame, and really grating. It feels like the characters are being distorted to fit the author's personal view, without sufficient evidence or buildup.

In a story with otherwise excellent setup and characterization, the instances of author bias are all the more glaring for their contrast.

This also has the inevitable result of the Ultramarines over the course of the story losing a good chunk of the charm that makes 40K 40K. They're getting 'fixed' in a way the author believes they should be fixed, but they're losing their identity in the process. This is different from adapting. They are not identical.

Loss of the crossover.
A somewhat complex issue. As the story progresses, it feels less and less like 40K is a particularly important part of it. The Imperials have a role to play, but the emphasis is not there. Over time, the 40K aspects of the story seem to lose focus, important and identity, even if we are still following 40K characters for a good bit of the average screentime.



Multiple POV Characters.
A perhaps unavoidable issue with an extended cast where all get almost equal screentime. You might not care about some of them. You might even end up disliking some of them.
I am not at all saying that any character is written badly*. They are not. They all have distinct voices and are presented and developed with respect and love. I just ... don't care about some of them. This can lead to skipping entire sections.
In fact, some sections can be skipped without missing anything important, which is both a blessing but also not a good sign.

There is the distinct impression that, by the endgame, all the storylines will have a vital part to play to the outcome. But until we get there, some storylines are a lot more important than others. One in particular (and the character around it) seems incredibly grating and inane. For example, I really like Anakin and his storyline, but I hate it every time his two girl friends show up, because they always bog the story down.

As you can imagine, this is very subjective. You might find the character I hated great, and their storyline griping. They're well-written. But with variety comes inevitably also variety in importance, quality and interest.



*Roboute Guilliman. AKA, look how they massacred my boy.

Robot Girlyman is the Primach of the Ultramarines. Superhuman leader and genefather of the Ultramarines Legion, he is a unique existence, crafted meticulously by the Emperor of Mankind, Beloved By All to be a shepherd and general of Mankind as none else could be, equalled (arguably) only by his 19/20/17 brothers. Primarch is not just a title; it is technically a race as well. A race with 20/21/18 members. Human-esque, but far above them. As each Primarch is unique crafted and predisposed towards certain skillsets, Bobby G is the finest statesman, orator (in the classical roman sense), planner and logistician in the Imperium, bar perhaps only his Father himself.

I am very conflicted by the author's decision to include Bobert Gorrilaman in this story. He feels out of place from a meta perspective, because the initial idea was to inject only a small force from 40K into Star Wars to bypass the powerscaling issue. Primarchs are not small forces. They are presented in 40K as forces of nature, almost unmatched in their ability to raise armies, prosecute campaigns and wage war.

Not unbeatable by any means, but realistically only really matched by other Primarchs, or the absolute best a foreign race can bring to bear.

To compound on this issue, Rowboat Guillotine is perhaps one of the worst Primarchs to bring into this, even if his Legion itself is the best to bring. The Ultramarines showing up works because they are very much excellent examples of the Imperium and 40K in general while also being powerful on their own.
But their Primarch is different. Other Primarchs would have been better if one absolutely had to be included, because they each focus on different things and have different skillsets. Where some Primarchs play DOOM (people like the Lion, Angron, Sanguinius, Ferrus Manus, Peter Turbo, etc) and others play Starcraft (Also the Lion and Sanguinius, but also people like Dorn and Fulgrim), Rabbi Goldman instead plays fucking Stellaris. He's the Empire builder. Someone playing DOOM in Star Wars would be really interesting, but not terribly impactful galaxy-wide. This is not true for Roblox Gigabyte.

Bobby G breaks the Star Wars setting by his presence in a way the Ultramarines themselves do not, and makes the contest of arms issue an issue once more just by his existence.

Tragically, the author never really uses Bobert, either. He's gotten a few scenes here and there, but his main role seems to be to engage (poorly) in philosophical arguments, ponder the wider state of the galaxy and what it means for them, manage his planet(s) and little else.
Granted, he has some cool moments. The Senate address is one such, the fact that he essentially broke the fourth wall and realized that the Star Wars galaxy does, in fact, operate cosmically in a narratively satisfying way that his own world does not, the way he is treated by other people and the way he affects Force-sensitives, these are all examples of him being handled well.

But it's very little, and it's overshadowed by the negatives. Papa Smurf 'loses' the initial conversation with Luke because Luke prods at daddy issues? That's it? All Luke has to do to ask him what Konnor Guilliman would do and Big Blue just freezes? As if he hasn't considered the question before? As if he doesn't already know the answer? As if Konnor wasn't a very effective leader of essentially space Rome?

In general, while Roubodict Guillibatch is treated with respect, he's not given the full extent of his capabilities or effectiveness by the author. Whether it be to maintain the tonal balance firmly on the side of Star Wars (by having him adopt their philosophy over time) or to keep him from being too powerful militaristically and breaking the setting, Redbull Gasoline is nerfed heavily.

Which is a shame. And begs the question of his inclusion at all. In my opinion, the story would have worked much better in accomplishing what the author wants without him in it, and for the Ultramarine contingent to be led by its own internal leaders. They don't lack for colorful or distinct characters in 30K, believe me.

Overall, the only thing keeping me from giving this a 5/5 are some personal gripes, and the fact that it is unfinished.

But it is a shockingly good and engaging story. The type of story that I would encourage everyone to read, just to read good fiction, regardless of their investment in the settings involved.

4/5 for now.

 

I gave this a go, but I had a problem with the amount of POV OCs, and I wasn't a fan of how dialogue and inner monologues were written. I admire the scope and the vision though.

 

I like the fanfic. It gives everyone an appropriate voice. There's no bashing, no caricatures made out of known characters, no OOC behavior.

As Drachna noted, I feel like it could do with less POVs, but it's a big galaxy, and a lot of fronts to cover.

Honestly, the way the author writes I'd be surprised if he hasn't been published some of his writing before.

Anyway, 5 out 5, easily.